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sCilivant of Conituss. 

A.,: T2V « 5 it 



UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. 



HOME: 

A 

RELIGIOUS BOOK FOR THE FAMILY. 



BY THE 

REV. W. K. TWEEDIE, D. D., 

AUTHOR OF " SEED-TIME AND HARVEST; OR, SOW WELL AND REAP WELL," 
" LAMP TO THE PATH, 11 ETC., ETC. 




" Home, sweet Home, 
There is no place like Home. 11 




NEW YORK: 

J. WHORTER SMITH & SON. 
1862. 




Entered according to Act of Congress, in the rear 1862, 
By J. WHOETEE SMITH & SOtf, 
In the Clerks Office of the District Court of the United States for the 
Southern District of Xew York. 



£0'j 



C. A. ALYOED. STEREOTYPES AXD PETNTEE. 



PREFACE. 



It is a favorable sign of our times to see so much atten- 
tion now concentrated upon Home, its laws, and its general 
constitution, as a great medicating power in society. Both 
in England and America — the only two nations in the 
world where the Divine Institution has full scope for de- 
velopment — the works now published and the efforts put 
forth upon this subject are full of promise for the future, 
as well as of present joy to a Christian philanthropist. 

Nor are these efforts either too soon employed or too 
wide in their range. Dreaming speculators would super- 
sede that Institution, which we owe exclusively to the 
Bible, and abolish all its venerable sanctities. An erring 
philanthropy would supplement it, as if God's method of 
governing our families were not sufficiently wise. One 
man would transform the Homes of a nation into a series 
of parallelograms, and there cure our social ills as if by 
some charm. Others, with a similar object, prefer the 
circle. A third party would transmute a nation into one 
vast workshop, and elaborate there a remedy for whatever 
is found or fancied to be wrong. Others still would with- 



8 PREFACE. 

*lraw the young from the plastic power which God has 
placed in the hands of fathers and of mothers, and com- 
mit them to hospitals, asylums, and similar retreats, where 
the social nature of youth would be mutilated, or some of 
its deepest feelings overlaid and extirpated. To all these, 
priestcraft adds its distempering influence wherever it can, 
and causes alienation or divergence where there should be 
unison the most complete. 

But against all such attempts, he who believes in the 
Divine Wisdom, and honors the great Father of all, will 
emphatically protest. Home influence, home maxims, 
home example, home piety, and home endearments, should 
first be made what they ought to be, and then upheld in 
ail their pre-eminence as vital forces in the souls of men. 
Where they are either abolished or neglected, we are con- 
spiring against the highest interests of society, and all 
human substitutes for Home, except where a literal home 
is impossible, are counterfeits and corruptions. Man was 
made for the family, and the family for man, as surely as 
the eye and light are correlatives ; and he alone escapes 
the shoals of folly here who recognizes and honors the 
radical law by which God would regulate our abodes, 

Farther, the philanthropy of our age has become pro- 
verbial. It takes one class after another under its generous 
protection. By a "Song of the Shirt" it agitates alike the 
metropolis and the hamlet. In Prison and Penitentiary, 
in Ragged Schools and Ragged Churches, among shoe- 
blacks, sweeps, gipsies, and beggars, benevolence is at 



PREFACE. 9 

work upon all the phases of misery. The crowned and 
the coroneted unite with the poor but pious visitant to his 
fellow-poor, in thus soothing sorrow, and trying to roll 
back the flowing tide of wretchedness. 

And all these things are a joy. Yet that should not 
blind us to the fact, that much of that benevolence has 
not begun its work at the beginning. We can never clear 
our streets of youthful depredators, if ill-conditioned 
homes be constantly pouring forth new criminals, just as 
we can never lave a flowing fountain dry. The fountain- 
head must be medicated, ere the cure be radical — and 
Home is that fountain-head. 

In studying this subject, conviction has deepened from 
hour to hour as to the solemn importance of a mother's 
duties. Hers is really the influence which moulds the 
world. Xot warriors and their armies ; not masters and 
their schools ; not printing-presses and their products ; not 
even ministers and their pulpits — but Christian mothers 
by then love, their lessons, their prayers, their example, 
their tears. The land in which such mothers are rife has 
a defence which no standing army can impart — the land 
where such mothers are rare is either hastening to moral 
ruin, or is already ruined, and the wealth of the world 
could not purchase immunity from that result. It is a 
law of God ; and never till mothers understand their mis- 
sion, and in love to man's soul, or pity for his misery, seek 
grace to fulfil it, will the gloom which hangs over the 
future disappear. Their influence is to a soul what the 
1* . 



10 PREFACE. 

dew is to flowers when they spread their bosom to the 
sun, and one of our country's mightiest blessings is the 
multitude of her prayerful mothers. 

An attempt is here made to exhibit, in some of their 
multiform relations, the laws which should preside in a 
Christian Home. In the First Part, we glance at the com- 
ponent elements of a full Household ; and in the Second, 
we present some of the leading laws which should preside 
over all that is done. Human examples are copiously in- 
troduced, alike for warning and for guidance; but the 
Word of God is the supreme, the only standard. With 
that standard ever in view, were this Volume, or a better, 
read chapter by chapter in our Homes, the Spirit of all 
Grace might bless His own truth, to render them holier, 
happier, and, more commonly than they are, a vestibule 
to the house not made with hands, the Home of many 
mansions in the skies. 



PUBLISHERS NOTICE. 



The following work, by a distinguished author and 
divine, will, we think, be acceptable to the American 
public, not simply because it is upon the subject, oi 
" Home," but because it is a work of rare merit on this 
subject. Xotwithstandiiig so much has been written, 
and well written, on this interesting theme, this treatise 
will be seen to have excellencies enough of its own to 
secure for it an unquestioned place in the family. 

The book is not made up of a series of pretty, good, 
common-place, sensible remarks on a trite subject, nor is 
it a mere compilation, with the aid of the scissors, from 
other authors, but it is the work of a profound, original 
thinker, who shows so much scope, judgment, and taste, 
in the treatment of the various branches of the subject, 
as to be alike instructive and interesting to heads of fami- 
lies, in the most educated, as well as the humbler classes 
of society. The writer is learned without being dull, and 
elevated without being unintelligible. The style is at 
once concise, chaste, and pleasing, equally free from cant 



10 PREFACE. 

dew is to flowers when they spread their bosorn to the 
sun, and one of our country's mightiest blessings is the 
multitude of her prayerful mothers. 

An attempt is here made to exhibit, hi some of their 
multiform relations, the laws which should preside in a 
Christian Home. In the First Part, we glance at the com- 
ponent elements of a full Household ; and hi the Second, 
we present some of the leading laws which should preside 
over all that is done. Human examples are copiously in- 
troduced, alike for warning and for guidance; but the 
Word of God is the supreme, the only standard. With 
that standard ever in view, were this Volume, or a better, 
read chapter by chapter in our Homes, the Spirit of all 
Grace might bless His own truth, to render them holier, 
happier, and, more commonly than they are, a vestibule 
to the house not made with hands, the Home of many 
mansions in the skies. 



PUBLISHER'S NOTICE. 



The following work, by a distinguished author and 
divine, will, we think, be acceptable to the American 
public, not simply because it is upon the subject, oi 
" Home," but because it is a work of rare merit on this 
subject. Notwithstanding so much has been written, 
and well written, on this interesting theme, this treatise 
will be seen to have excellencies enough of its own to 
secure for it an unquestioned place in the family. 

The book is not made up of a series of pretty, good, 
common-place, sensible remarks on a trite subject, nor is 
it a mere compilation, with the aid of the scissors, from 
other authors, but it is the work of a profound, original 
thinker, who shows so much scope, judgment, and taste, 
in the treatment of the various branches of the subject, 
as to be alike instructive and interesting to heads of fami- 
lies, in the most educated, as well as the humbler classes 
of society. The writer is learned without being dull, and 
elevated without being unintelligible. The style is at 
once concise, chaste, and pleasing, equally free from cant 



12 publisher's notice. 

and bombast on the one hand, and from sameness and 
puerility on the other. 

The plan of illustrating the several chapters by perti- 
nent and striking examples, will be found an interesting 
feature of the work, to which attention is invited; not so 
much, however, to the fact of the examples, as to the 
discrimination and large reading shown in their selection. 

The book is one, unlike most on this subject, that will 
bear reading a second time. Indeed, new truths, or new 
relations of the subject, are here presented in an attrac- 
tive form, while old and familiar truths have new freshness, 
life, and power. 

Clergymen, who are usually so familiar with the ground 
here gone over, we are sure will be surprised and grati- 
fied at the ability, good taste, and efficiency with which 
the various details of the subject are here presented. They 
will, too, see the permanent influence for good of such an 
elevated and elevating book in the family ; especially in 
these days, when there is so much reading that is posi- 
tively injurious, and so much, also, that is called religious 
reading, that is so little elevating or improving to the 
character. 



CONTENTS, 



PART I. 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 

Chap. Page, 

I. A Model Home 17 

II The Constitution of Home 28 

III. Names for Home 34 

IV. Scriptural Views of Home 42 

V. Marriage 54 

VI. The Father at Home 69 

VII. The Mother at Home 87 

VIII. Helpmates 105 

IX. Infancy and Childhood 118 

X. Sons 136 

XL Daughters 148 

XII. Masters 159 

XIII. Servants 170 

XIV. The Nurse and the Nursery 184 

XV. "The Stranger within thy Gates" 193 

PART II. 

THE LAWS AND MAXIMS OE HOME. 

Chap. Page. 
I. The Religion of Home 203 

II. The Education of Home 219 

III. The Authority of Home 240 



ti CONTEXTS. 

CLap. Pa^e. 

IY. The Example of Homo . . . . 249 

Y. The Standard of Home . 259 

YI The Responsibilities of Home 268 

YII. The Rewards and Punishments of Home 276 

YIH. Amusements for Home 287 

IX. Companionships for Home 301 

X. Books for Home 309 

XI. Sabbath at Home 319 

XH. The Homes of the Rich and the Poor 341 

XIII. The Widow's Home 350 

XIY. The Homes of the Single 358 

XY. A Happv Home 364 

XYL An Unhappy Home 372 

XYTL The Trials of Home 380 

XYIII. The Economy of Home 386 

XIX. Maxims for Home 393 

XX. Leaving Home 405 

XXI. Heaven a Home. 416 



PART I. 
THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



HOME. 



PART I -THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



CHAPTEE I. 

A MODEL HOME. 

* I will sing of mercy and judgment : unto thee, O Lord, will I sing. I will be- 
have myself wisely in a perfect way. O when wilt thou come unto me? I 
will walk within my house with a perfect heart. I will set no wicked thing 
before mine eyes : I hate the work of them that turn aside ; it shall not cleave 
to me. A froward heart shall depart from me : I will not know a wicked per- 
son. Whoso privily slandereth his neighbor, him will I cut off: him that 
hath an high look and a proud heart will not I suffer. Mine eyes shall be upon 
the faithful of the land, that they may dwell with me : he that walketh in a 
perfect way, he shall serve me. He that worketh deceit shall not dwell within 
my house ; he that telleth lies shall not tarry in my sight. I will early destroy 
all the wicked of the land, that I may cut off all wicked doers from the city of 
the Lord. 1 ' — Psalm Ci. 

No prophet's power is needed to predict that the 
more closely the constitution of Home is studied, the 
more manifest will the proofs of Divine wisdom there 
appear. In the bosom of every family there lie 
folded up the elements or the germs of an influence, 
which, if properly developed, would produce abun- 
dant fruit unto holiness ; but, on the other hand, if 
these germs be neglected, all that might be morally 
lovely is soon blighted and disfigured. 

Xow, in studying a Home, and trying to develop 
its principles into a holy life, the Word of God is our 



18 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



only guide and model. Let us, then, at the outset, 
examine it as the framework into which all besides 
must be woven. 

It was a maxim of Matthew Henry, that wherever 
we have a house, God should have a Church ; and 
Howard the philanthropist announced the same truth, 
when he said — " Wherever I have a home, God shall 
have an altar." But one more favored than either of 
the two, has expounded that idea in the hundred and 
first of his Psalms. In some respects, it must de- 
scribe a Model Home, for it tells what was law and 
usage in the abode of "a man after God's own heart." 
It was David's purpose or his habit to recognize all 
God's dealings with him, and whether they brought 
sorrow or joy, he found in them all some materials for 
praise; he could " sing in the ways of the Lord." 
His lot, no doubt, had been a checkered one. False 
friends at home, and enemies abroad ; his own heart 
and his own household ; his princes and his subjects ; 
his sons and his daughters had all, at times, occa- 
sioned grief to David. There might be judgments in 
some of these things, but there was also mercy ; and 
as he knew that all things work together for good to 
them that love God, the king employed that harp 
which had soothed the dark spirit of Saul to extract 
gladness also from the dark dispensations of his lot. 
He was determined that' neither the laughter of pros- 
perity nor the tears of affliction should unfit him for 
sacred songs, for he felt that family mercies and 
family griefs equally call us to family religion. 

IsTor did David merely acquiesce either in the 
awards of judgment or the donations of mercy — he 



A XODEL HOME. 



19 



learned wisdom from them all, and " behaved himself 
wisely in a perfect way." Wisely, for his God was 
his guide — and a perfect way, for the law of the Lord 
is perfect, and it directed David's steps. He knew 
that though the believer, amid all his aspirations, can 
never reach perfection here, neither can he ever cease 
to aim at it ; and thus guided, or thus pressed up- 
ward, David could exclaim, " Blessed are they that 
keep his testimonies . . . they walk in his ways.' 5 
They are not the victims of make-believes : they do 
not substitute man for God : they do not deify pas- 
sion, and the world is neither their model nor their 

joy- 
But more than this. David's spirit yearned for 

communion with its God. He could not bear a cloud, 
nay, not a shadow between the Holy One and his 
soul. He panted for God, the living God, as the hart 
pants for the water brooks ; and one reason for that 
ardent longing was, that David might " walk within 
his house with a perfect heart." It is God's presence 
that sweetens every thing there. No root of bitterness 
is then allowed to spring up. Iniquity is put away 
from such an abode. Man's opinions and man's prac- 
tices find their proper level. A heart right with God 
presides. "When joy and gladness come, they are 
mellowed by the fear of the Lord ; and when crosses 
are sent, the Almighty arm is leant upon the more. 
The dwellings of the righteous thus become the abodes 
of a holy joy or of a chastened grief, and the house 
which will soon crumble into dust is a vestibule to the 
house eternal in the heavens. The believer, in the 
most secret recess of his home, as well as in the glare 



20 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



of day, thus " walks circumspectly, not as a fool, but 
as wise." 

Or further : this man of God was to " set no wicked 
thing before his eyes." He knew that God and Mam- 
mon, that Christ and Belial, that the spirit of Holi- 
ness and the spirit of the world, could not harmoni- 
ously dwell in the same abode. First holiness and 
then happiness ; first a pure home and then a peaceful 
one, was David's aim. None knew better than he the 
misery which cleaves to sin. He had had reason to 
speak of " bones broken," of light quenched, and of 
hope turned into despair, by guilt in his own case ; 
and, warned by the experience of the past, he was 
now to live upon his guard. " No wicked thing" 
was to stand before him. Antagonisms could not be 
harmonies there. " The men who turn aside," 
whether as apostates from the truth, or as wanderers 
from the narrow way, David was determined to shun. 
He was not to live on terms of brotherhood with 
them, for that would have been to become the enemy 
of God ; and, however he might pity them, or deplore 
their ways, he would not become a partaker of sin by 
smiling on the sinner. His companions must be the 
excellent of the earth, or he would sit alone upon the 
housetop. 

Further, therefore, in contemplating the state of his 
Home, and planning for its welfare, David resolved 
not even to "know a wicked person." His own con- 
duct, and the misery which flowed from it to his heart 
and his home — the doings of Absalom and Ahithophel, 
as well as of not a few in his household, had shown 
him too clearly what anguish cleaves to guilt, It was 



A MODEL HOME. 



21 



not merely its burning shame, or its harrowing days 
and sleepless nights, when conscience had regained 
the ascendant — it was the dishonor done to God ? that 
roused all this believer to holy resolution. "A froward 
heart/ 5 then, as the origin of evil, and " a wicked 
person," as its propagator, were to be repudiated by 
David. He would neither w T alk with the ungodly, 
nor stand with the sinner, nor sit with the scorner. 
His house was to be no asylum for the godless or the 
froward. As fire and water are contrasts, so is the 
nature of this man of God opposed to ungodliness, 
He felt that an unholy soul is like a house haunted 
by the worst kind of evil spirits, and, to escape from 
sorrow, he set his face against iniquity. 

But David was a Ruler as well as a Householder,, 
He had a kingdom as well as a home, and he further 
determined not to foster any iniquity in his empire. 
" The slanderer was to be cut off;" " a high look and 
a proud heart" David would not suffer. Slander is 
prompted by hatred, and hatred is the germ of murder. 
A proud heart, if it had the power, would dethrone the 
Supreme, and put the proud one in his place, and the 
king of Israel would not tolerate such rebellion against 
God most high. ISTay, with him the High and Holy 
One was paramount ; he resolved to see that God's 
will was done on earth as it is done in heaven, and he 
practised what his son taught, but often forgot to do 
— he " feared God and kept his commandments, for 
that is the whole duty of man." 

But, next : while thus shunning all that could defile, 
David's soul embraced "the faithful of the land." 
" His eyes were to be upon them ;" that is, he regard- 



22 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



ed them with complacency as we look upon a beauti- 
ful object. He searched them out and made them 
the men of his right hand, his bosom friends and 
allies. 

Then, for servants, David would choose none but 
" him that walketh in a perfect way." Deceit he 
would not tolerate; rebellion against the King of 
kings was incompatible with integrity toward an 
earthly superior ; and the firm determination of David, 
therefore, was : " He that worketh deceit shall not dwell 
within my house : he that telleth lies shall not tarry 
in my sight." Seven times each day did he praise 
his God. In the night seasons he sought communion 
with Him, and all that would have been marred had 
the king chosen the ungodly for his associates, or even 
for his servants. The moral discomfort of dwelling 
side by side with falsehood made it impossible for 
him to endure it. Such moral degradation chafed his 
soul, for he could not both smile upon the false, and 
live in the smile of Him who is holy and true. He 
felt the presence of the ungodly to be contagious and 
deadening. To countenance them is to encourage and 
harden them in guilt — to trust them is only to afford 
opportunity for further crime. As firmly, therefore, 
as language could express it, David records the reso- 
lution not to harbor the deceitful, not to tolerate in 
his home, nay, in his sight, " him that telleth lies," 
and how happy would our homes become were such 
maxims there supreme ! 

Such, then, were the purposes, and such the princi- 
ples of David regarding his Home; these things sig- 
nalized it far more than gilded domes, or pillars of 



A MODEL HOME. 



23 



cedar could do. Truth, in all its beautiful manifesta- 
tions, was to be patronized on the one hand, and prac- 
tised on the other. " The ungodly shall not dwell in 
my house" was the explicit decree of the king. A 
proud look and a lying tongue are an abomination 
to God, and they were the same to his servant — he 
pitied them, and put them far away. 

Now starting from this divine model, it is easy to 
mark what would result were it faithfully copied. 

How pleasant the task of ruling a home, were the 
truth of God enthroned as the guide of all, and noth- 
ing but that truth tolerated there ! 

How sweet the intercourse between parent and child, 
or between master and servant, were the soul of each 
taught to make God's truth his sovereign standard ! 

How would the pride of power among superiors, 
or the sorrows of servitude among inferiors, alike dis- 
appear; and how would all this serve "to guard our 
nest against the wily snake !" 

How surely would the families which call upon the 
name of the Lord increase in the land, were men to 
make God's mind theirs as David did! The dwell- 
ings of Jacob would then be loved even as the gates 
of Zion — that is, the believer's house would become 
a house of God. " The Church in the house," as in 
the case of Cornelius the centurion, of Aquila and 
Priscilla, of Nymphas and- Philemon,* would be the 
meeting-place between God and souls, and joy as 
serene as that of summer sunset would be diffused 
where confusion and many evil works too often pre- 
vail. Household joys and fireside memories would 

* Acts x. 2 ; Rom. xvi. 5 ; 1 Cor. xvi. 19 ; Col. iv. 15, and Philemon 2. 



24 



THE MEMBEBS OF HOME. 



exert a deeper influence upon life, and the last prom- 
ise of the Old Testament would be all fulfilled—" The 
hearts of the fathers would "be turned to the children, 
and the hearts of the children to the fathers," while 
the dread alternative, " lest I come and smite the 
earth with a curse," would be averted from men's 
homes. 

But the case of David, in regard to his home, is 
more instructive still. Never man knew better than 
he, that 

" It is not they who idly dwell 
In cloister gray, or hermit cell, 
In prayer- and vigil, night and day, 
Wearing all their time away, 
Lord of heaven ! that serve thee well." 

Nay, David was a monarch. His empire was one of 
the widest then in the world, or fast becoming so. 
His cares, therefore, were manifold. Armies had to 
be led, and battles fought. Materials for a temple to 
Jehovah had to be collected. Allies had to be honored, 
and enemies subdued. Rebellion had to be crushed, 
and conspiracy checked. Laws had to be passed, 
and their obedience watched over. Hostile princes 
demanded the monarch's watchful eye; in brief, 
crowds of disturbing influences beset him both by 
night and day. And yet, ruling over millions as he 
did, sustaining in his single person the responsibility 
of first magistrate and first captain, this wonderful 
man had time to spare for the concerns, nay, even for 
the details of his home. He knew it to be the nursery 
either of all that is good and true, or of all that is 
godless and false. Even on his throne, therefore, did 



A MODEL HOME. 



25 



David find leisure to announce the principles which 
should regulate a well-ordered family. He prescribed 
a panacea for social ills, and did what w^ould tend to 
the subversion of evil were his maxims firmly obeyed. 

X or was all this a mere theory with David — a fancy 
sketch — a visionary scene, beautiful as propounded, 
but neglected in practice, Nay, amid some of his 
most attractive or most exciting public duties, he was 
careful to M return to bless his household." Even on 
his dying bed, when his thoughts clung to the well- 
ordered covenant and its Eternal Head, he could not 
but glance once again at his home. The thought of 
disorder there added one pang more to the dying 
monarch's sorrow, and the complaint uttered with 
some of his last breaths was, that his house was not 
right with God.* Like another Hebrew captain, 
amid the cares of a vast migration, David had deter- 
mined that he and his house should serve the Lord. 
Neither the cares of state, nor the disquietudes of 
war, nor the harassments of a thousand duties were 
allowed to interfere with that object ; and the king of 
Israel hence becomes both a model and a rebuke. A 
model — for should not the principles which guided 
him, much more guide us who have none of his cares 
to plead in defence of neglect % And a rebuke — for 
does not the practice of David, do not his purposes 
and his vows shame those who allow themselves to be 
seduced from the right government of home by cares, 
which become sins when they interfere with a duty so 
solemn, so binding, and so blessed ? 

But is not David's standard somewhat too high ? Is 

* Compare 2 Sam. vL 20, and xxiii. 5. 

2 



26 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



it possible for us to do as lie did ? It is so possible, 
that God has made it a universal duty, and to neg- 
lect it is to court sorrow for our homes. Let love to 
God and man become a presiding principle, and all 
will be as easy as it is binding. Just let the soul feel 
like the dying legislator,* when he panted out the 
words — " Jesus Christ — love — the same thing," and 
all will be plain. Constrained by that love, all that 
is needful will be attempted, and much of it achieved. 
No parent who loves his children — no householder 
who feels responsible to God for the spiritual well- 
being of his home, will then deem even the standard 
of David too high ; and to be guided by it is to be 
" glad with the spirit of the peace divine." 

Now it is in the hope that the principles which 
guided him may guide many more, that we here at- 
tempt to delineate a Christian Home — its component 
parts, its joys, its sorrows, its maxims, and its aims. 
Around that sacred name there gather some of the 
deepest convictions, the most endearing associations, 
and most sunny influences which control the mind of 
man. 

" In every clime the magnet of man's soul, 
Touch'd by remembrance, vibrates to that pole." 

Even when the King Eternal would depict his 
deepest love and tenderness, the language employed 
is often linked with home. " Like as a father pitieth 
his children, the Lord pitieth them that fear him ;" 
" As one whom his mother comforteth, so will I com- 
fort you," and a hundred other texts, indicate the 
spirit of God's religion ; and if more be needed, we 

* Sir James Mackintosh. 



A MODEL HOME. 



27 



find enough in the words — " They shall look upon me 
whom they have pierced, and they shall mourn for 
him as one mourneth for his only son, and shall be 
in bitterness for him as one that mourneth and is in 
bitterness for his firstborn.* In other words, the pro- 
foundest of all emotions can find an adequate expres- 
sion only when represented by the anguish of domestic 
bereavement, or the tenderness of domestic ties ; and 
as the Word of God thus gives such prominence to 
home, we should learn to go and do likewise. Let its 
spirit, its principles, and maxims, be in unison with 
the mind of God, and it becomes a fountain of felicity 
forever. But let the world rule there ; let the God 
of all the families of the earth be neglected or dis- 
owned ; then parents with their children, and masters 
with their servants, are only preparing to feed the 
worm which never dies. It is to deepen the felicities 
of home that these chapters are sent forth ; and they 
go full of the conviction, that none but parents who 
are taught by the Spirit of God can rule a household 
in His fear. 

* Psalm ciii. 13; Isa. lxvi. 13; Zech. xii. 10. 



28 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



CHAPTER II. 

THE CONSTITUTION OF HOME. 

A Believer's Home— -Adam's— Abraham's — Hagar's case — Jacob and Joseph- 
David's Home — Jewish Corruptions — Home Eelations of the Bible — Their 
Extent and Influence — Examples, 

One example of a believer's home, and of tlie 
maxims which should guide it, has just been given. 
It is important, however, to notice how prominent the 
family is made in the Word of God ; and to lay a 
firm foundation for what is about to be advanced re- 
garding home, its power or its perversion, its sorrows 
or its joys, it may be well to glance at some of the 
scriptural accounts which show that home is the ma- 
trix in which not a little of revelation is moulded. 
The home of Adam, for example, suggests a thousand 
lessons at once by its innocence and its guilt. The 
home of Abraham, in like manner, indicates how 
closely the truth of God is linked with the domestic 
constitution : it is often remarked that to that man's 
family we may trace the Bible, the Redeemer, God's 
Church on earth — in short, all that is hopeful here, 
and blessed hereafter ; and from these prominent cases 
we may see how important it is to be well informed 
as to the power of a household for good or for ill, 
according as it is rightly used or else perverted by 
man. 

And, first, we know that in very early times the 



CONSTITUTION OF HOME. 



29 



sons of God, or men professing godliness, " took 
wives of all whom they chose;" in other words, God 
was not consulted in regard to marriage. Men walk- 
ed after the devices of their own hearts, and entered 
into the closest of all relations without the guidance 
of that wisdom which comes from above. And what 
was the result of this abuse? Crime increased so 
rapidly, that it repented God that man was ever 
made. So vital is the family constitution to the right 
guidance of the world, that when that constitution 
was outraged, the crisis of guilt sped on, till the 
waters of the deluge came to wash it away, and pro- 
claim with such a voice as the world will never hear 
again, the misery which results from such a moral 
outrage — the vital inter-dependence between a God- 
made union and a happy home. 

Further: in the case of Hagar and Ishmael, we 
find another illustration of the results which follow a 
violation of the right constitution of home. That 
unhappy mother and her unhappy son were thrust 
forth from an abode, which, even before that event, 
had ceased to be ordered according to the will of God. 
Envy and strife were there, and the whole of her his- 
tory shows how certain it is that no man can tamper 
with the family constitution, without sooner or later 
leading to woe. The youth exposed in the desert — 
the weeping mother who could not look upon her 
dying boy, and all the sad accompaniments of that 
hour, tell us how vital and how delicate are the laws 
which the God of all the families of the earth has 
given to home. Concentrated good ; or, failing that, 
concentrated evil is there, 



30 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



Again : we know the partiality which the patriarch 
Jacob cherished for Joseph his son. The dress and 
the early demeanor of the boy alike bear testimony 
to that partiality ; and the father's terrible grief when 
he was told that Joseph was no more, attests the same 
thing. He had forgotten that 

" All the blessings which surround us here, 
Are but as loans from the all-bounteous Love, 
Given to be used, not worshipped ; " 

and we know to what results snch fondness led. Ja- 
cob thereby outraged a radical law of the family. He 
exalted one of its members, and by consequence de- 
pressed the rest ; and as he had violated a vital prin- 
ciple, the evil recoiled upon himself and the object 
of his ill-judged partiality. ISTo doubt, in this case, 
He who brings good out of evil, made the folly of 
that erring father to praise Him ; but, in the first in- 
stance, the design to murder Joseph, then the false- 
hood heaped upon falsehood by his brothers, then the 
long wasting anguish of the gray-haired father, and 
lastly the bondage, the temptations, and imprisonment 
of the favorite himself, all manifest the delicacy of 
the family constitution, or tend to show that no man 
can tamper with it without producing sorrow, a reac- 
tion, and recoil. 

Or, further still: in the days of David we see, in 
many respects, to what exquisite pain the inter-con- 
nections of home may lead when rudely interfered 
with. He was a monarch. Millions moved at his 
nod : his word was life or death. But a little child 
was dying in that monarch's home, and neither a 



. CONSTITUTION OF HOME. 31 

crown nor a sceptre — neither an empire nor a throne, 
could assuage that father's grief. The tie which 
bound him to his child was so close that all his king- 
dom had to offer could not dry the tears of the one 
for the other — so intimate and strong are the bonds 
of home. Without adverting at all to the sad lacera- 
tion of these bonds in other instances in David's life, 
this single case sufficiently shows how closely man's 
happiness is associated with his home. 

Or, once more : let us pass on to the time when 
the Jewish system was tottering to its fall. Jesus has 
come. The land is reeking with corruption. As the 
crisis of all, the Saviour weeps over Jerusalem because 
it would not let him save it, and what of the family 
relation then — a tie which should have knit parent 
to child, child to parent, and all to God? The answer 
shows the utter degeneracy of the Jews. " Whoso- 
ever shall say to his father or his mother — ' It is a gift 
by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me,' 
and honor not his father and his mother, he shall be 
free," had become a Jewish maxim. In other words, 
a high religious reason was pled for declining to aid 
a parent in decay. Hypocritical pretences cloaked a 
heartless conduct, and as a result of this disruption 
of the family tie, the dislocation of all society had 
followed — a nation was preparing for its tomb amid 
scenes which all history cannot parallel. 

But, without enumerating more of the example 
which the Scriptures supply, let it be enough to ob- 
serve that the family relation regulated not a few of 
the sacrifices of old. Job offered continually " accord- 
ing; to the number of his household." Then, in cases 



32 



THE MEMBEKS OF HOME. 



of signal sorrow, " every family was to mourn apart. 5 ' 
Moreover, the land of Canaan was divided according 
to the families of the Hebrews. Farther, as God 
wears the character of a Father, and the Saviour that 
of a Son, so that Father of mercies " sets the solitary 
in families ; " while, on the other hand, there is to be 
" fury upon all the families which call not on the 
name of the Lord." In every way, God has thus re- 
cognized the constitution which he has stamped upon 
home — it is inwoven with the whole of revelation, and 
it were difficult to tell how much of the Scriptures 
would disappear, or how far the plan of redemption 
itself would be mutilated, were we to cancel the por- 
tions which are dependent on the domestic relations. 
God's Church is again and again called his "House.'' 
All the millions in the successive generations of the 
Jews are called the " House of Israel/' w He and all his 
house," is a phrase of very frequent occurrence. But, 
in brief, a fine network is thrown over the whole of 
revelation, displaying, like a beautiful transparency, 
the importance of the domestic constitution — or tell- 
ing how deeply it enters into the history of man. 
"The fathers" mean all who have lived before us; 
"the children of men" are the whole human race; 
and thus the family relation ever stands out as one of 
the most prominent of all that belong to God's world 
— the precepts, the promises, the prophecies, all rise 
or terminate in some view of a family or a home. 

"Were we, in like manner, to study the history of 
the early Church, it might at once surprise and instruct 
us to notice how largely the Saviour employed domes- 
tic and familv ties to advance the work of his life — 



CONSTITUTION OF HOME. 



33 



his mission to our world. One who has studied this 
subject with profound convictions, has been careful to 
show that four of the apostles were from one family, 
namely James and Jude, Simon and Matthew, from 
that of Cleophas and Mary ; two from another, Peter 
and Andrew, the sons of Jonas ; and other two from a 
third, namely, James and John, the sons of Zebedee 
and Salome.* 

The prominent idea, then, in the Bible is not that 
of a community, a society, or a kingdom, but of a 
household or a family. That is recognized or conse- 
crated as the basis of all other relations. Let that 
remain faithful to God, and society is founded on a 
rock ; it will be prosperous and happy. But let fam- 
ilies break loose from His government, and by that 
revolt they may have imitated Samson when he tore 
down the pillars of a temple ; but, like Samson also, 
they perish in the ruin they have caused. They may 
seem to be happy, but that happines is transient, 

" As when the midnight lightnings cast 
A short-lived radiance o'er the plain." 

When we behold then the importance which is at- 
tached to home by God, only wise, we are in some 
degree prepared to study with profit the character of 
a family moulded according to His mind ; we may be 
able to point out the fountain-head of man's joys, upon 
the one hand, or of his sorrows upon the other. 

* Anderson's "Domestic Constitution," section 6. 
2* 



34 THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



CHAPTEK HI. 

NAMES FOR HOME. 

Ideal Homes — Home joys — " The Paradise of Childhood 11 —" God's first Church 1 ' — 
" A Miniature of Heaven" — " A Nursery for Heaven" — " The Eepublic of 
Home" — "A little World" — The Mimosa and The Sundew — The paramount 
power, Love. 

It would not be difficult to depict an ideal home, 
and so present one of the faultless exaggerations 
which the world never beheld realized. Forgetting 
man's inborn selfishness, or refusing to recognize what 
must ever be kept in view if we would not make all 
our opinions errors, we might present some fancy 
sketch which would belong neither to earth nor to 
heaven. A household might then be viewed as a 
sanctuary or a church, and every member as one of 
the living stones which are in preparation for their 
place in the heavenly temple. We might describe 
that abode as one in which there are no separate 
interests, and therefore no collisions, no fierce pas- 
sions, and therefore no violence upon the one hand, 
nor wrong upon the other. Having presented such a 
picture, men might be asked to admire and to copy it ; 
to see there what home should be, and then to imitate 
the model. A kind of golden age might thus be 
reproduced, as poetry has often done, and home might 
be robbed of its moral power by being made a fancy 
picture. 



NAMES FOR HOME. 



35 



Now our homes should be all that has been sketch- 
ed, but there is only one which fully corresponds to 
the sketch — the home of the Redeemer on high. 
Even on earth, however, so much that is blessed and 
benign gathers around home, that it were difficult to 
exaggerate its felicity when the truth of God presides. 
In spite of all the interruptions to peace which 

" Neglects of temper 
Shed into the crystal cup," 

such are the interlinkings of heart with heart — such 
the character of a godly father, the priest and guide 
of all beneath his roof ; of a godly mother, their 
guardian angel, and dear to all as their own soul ; of 
children trained in the nurture and admonition of the 
Lord ; of domestics guided more by the fear of God than 
that of man — that the domestic constitution appears 
to be indeed one of the most signal proofs at once of 
the wisdom and the goodness of the great Father of 
all. But to shed some light upon man's views of that 
constitution, let us next consider some of the titles by 
which he delights to name it. 

Was Paradise an abode of purity and peace? Or 
will the New Eden above be one of unmingled beati- 
tude? Then u the Paradise of Childhood," " the 
Eden of Home," are names applied to the family 
abode. In that paradise, all may appear as smiling 
and serene to childhood as "the untainted garden did 
to unfailen man — even the remembrance of it, amid 
distant scenes of woe, has soothed some of the sad- 
dest hours of life, and crowds of mourners have spo- 
ken of 



86 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



" A home, that paradise below " 

Of sunshine, and of flowers, 
Where hallowed joys perennial flow 

By calm sequester'd bowers." 

— There childhood nestles like a bird which has built 
its abode among roses ; there the cares and the cold- 
ness of earth are, as long as possible, averted. Flow- 
ers there bloom, or fruits invite on every side, and 
there paradise would indeed be restored, could mortal 
power ward off the consequences of sin. This new 
garden of the Lord would then abound in beauty un- 
sullied, and trees of the Lord's planting, bearing fruit 
to his glory, would be found in plenty there — it would 
be reality, and not mere poetry, to speak of 

"My own dear quiet home, 
The Eden of my heart." 

Or another name, which some delight to apply to 
home, is " God's first Church." It is there that we first 
learn to fear, to love, and to adore Him ; there that 
we get our first lessons regarding both holiness and 
sin ; there that we first feel as if the hand of the 
Saviour were on our head to bless us ; and there, in 
the first years of unquestioning, unsuspecting faith, 
that we display those dispositions which make a little 
child a model disciple, or which explain why the 
Saviour said, " Of such is the kingdom of heaven." 
" Every Christian family ought to be, as it were, a 
little Church, consecrated to Christ, and wholly in- 
fluenced and governed by his rules."* "If there 
were a Church in every house, there would be such a 

* President Edwards. 



NAMES FOR HOME. 



37 



Church, in our land as would make it a praise through- 
out the whole earth."* We give no place, we repeat, 
to mere visionary pictures ; but, setting aside all that 
is fabled upon the subject, it is still true that man's 
first home is God's first Church to all who are trained 
as children ought to be — the heart and the hand are 
both pointed heavenward there. 

"The scene is touching, and the heart is stone 
That feels not at that sight." 

No doubt, the world may reign in the soul after all ; 
the impressions even of such a home, may prove like 
a writing upon sand, upon water, or the yielding air. 
But it can still be said with truth — ■ 

"Lord, with what care hast thou begirt us round? 
Parents first season us ... . 
Bibles laid open, millions of surprises, 
Blessings beforehand, ties of gratefulness, 
The sound of glory ringing in our ears ; 
Without our shame, within our conscience, 
Angels and grace, eternal hopes and fears," 

all, all are found within the sacred pale of our " first 
Church," and the heart which can resist its sancti- 
ties is preparing to be at once a tormentor and tor- 
mented. 

" A Miniature of Heaven," " a Copy of Heaven," 
" a Nursery for Heaven," are other names by which 
home is known. Young immortals should there enter 
upon the true immortality, and the love which reigns 
paramount in the house not made with hands should 
be ascendant in our abodes on earth. As the father 

* Matthew Henry. 



33 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



is likened to the prophet of home, its teacher, its 
guide, and model, all should be his disciples, while 
the mind of the Great Teacher presides at once over 
the head and the members. Moreover, as the father 
is called the priest of home, the other inmates should 
surely be the worshippers ; or, as he is likened to a 
king among his subjects, obedience should be univer- 
sal, while the Eternal One is crowned Lord of all. It 
is His will that makes heaven what it is — be that will 
done by the families of men, and they become compo- 
nent parts of the great family of God ; the kingdom of 
heaven is among us of a truth. 

But this suggests another of the titles lavished 
upon a household; it is called "The Republic of 
Home." The rights of all are alike in their origin — 
God; and in their aim or tendency, namely — God 
again. There is to be neither lordly domineering nor 
wild revolt. There is rule, order, subjection, prompt 
obedience — else there could be no liberty ; for as the 
service of God is perfect freedom, obedience to Him, 
in our homes or elsewhere, is but another name for 
joy. What Socialism or Communism seeks to pro- 
mote by outraging some of the deepest jmnciples in 
man's nature. Home advances in harmony with them 
all, and when conducted as the Author of all good 
designed it to be, the abode of our youth is at once 
the birthplace of our blessedness, and the bulwark of 
our rights. Birds at night flock to their nests, and 
wild beasts to their lair ; certain fishes periodically 
resort, by a strong instinct, to the place where they 
were spawned ; some birds, by a sagacity yet more 
marvellous, return, season after season, from far-off 



NAMES FOR HOME. 



39 



lands, to the eaves where they were hatched ; and, in 
like manner, many a wretched exile has felt the 
attractions of home, with its remembered liberty and 
joy, to be so strong that absence was worse than 
death. Some have accordingly returned, though, in 
seeking their home, they found only a grave. 

Or, finally: home has been called "a Little World." 
We are there trained for acting the part which shall 
be allotted to us upon a wider arena. Obedience to 
law, implicit and cordial deference to authority, sym- 
pathy with suffering, affection, duty, hope, fear, are 
all brought into vivid play ; and it is not difficult for 
an observant eye to note or to predict how each young 
inmate will act in public life. The selfishness of one 
promises woe to himself and to others. The generos- 
ity of another points him out as a future benefactor. 
Pre-eminence over playfellows, or cunning, or cruelty, 
or dishonesty, or high-toned honor, all find their place 
in the little world of home, in training for the wider 
platform of society. Here, as well as in the country 
churchyard, poetry, nay, plainest prose may find 

" Some village Hampden, that, with dauntless breast, 
The little tyrant of his fields withstood ; 
Some mute, inglorious Milton here may rest, 

Some Cromwell, guiltless of his country's blood." 

while all presage the future, which stretches far be- 
yond the horizon of the passing day, and will become 
a busy present when these young souls have taken 
their place in the battle of life ; when they have chosen 
God or Mammon, Christ or Belial, life or death. 

Such are some of the aspects of Home as indicated 
by the names which are sometimes applied to it ; and 



40 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



even from these glimpses it would be difficult to over- 
estimate the importance of the domestic constitution. 
Most of the corruptions of society may be traced up 
to its neglect, while the history alike of the world aud 
of the Church, from the days of the deluge downward, 
proclaims the blessings which may flow from home 
well-ordered. Let God be supreme there ; let His 
will preside, and streams of joy will emanate from 
that fountain-head — streams ever deepening and fer- 
tilizing as they flow. But let the will of God be su- 
perseded by that of man ; let children assert their 
independence, and be allowed to rule both themselves 
and others ; let the family be self-centred, instead of 
being lovingly knit to God — then hastening ills are at 
hand ; the gray hairs of parents will be brought in 
sorrow to the grave. The Phaeton of fable becomes 
the model — the little world will be all on fire. 

And when the delicate framework of the Home 
constitution has been dislocated, what power can re- 
adjust it ? TVho shall restore the bloom of the plum 
if only a finger tip has touched it ? TTho shall re- 
compose the nervous system of the mimosa or the sun- 
dew after it has been rudely outraged? Xo human 
hand, nay, the touch of the kindliest, only deranges 
that plant the more ; and in like manner, no human 
legislation, no mortal device can rectify or readjust 
the family when its parts have been displaced. It is 
the model of all rule, upon the one hand, and of all 
obedience, upon the other ; and when that model is 
interfered with, moral confusion must ensue. There 
is no cure for the distemper, but just to return to the 
simple truth — the authoritative mind of God. Tt is 



NAMES FOR HOME. 



41 



the system of love revealed in the gospel, that system 
"which makes one thing of all theology," that must 
reign in our homes, paramount, unchallenged, and 
alone. Then it is well — for God is first. 



42 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



CHAPTER IV. 

SCRIPTURAL VIEWS OF HOME. 

Tho Fountain-head of Rivers — The Elements of Society — Its Degeneracy — The 
Means of its Restoration — First, the Human — Knowledge — Refinement — 
Second, The Divine — Goodness — Holiness — G-odlikeness — Family Training — 
Its long Continuance — The Benefit — The Reigniug Influence, Love — The Reg- 
ulator, God's Truth — A Moral Factory — The Church and School dependent 
upon Home — Home obliterated — The Consequences — Examples — France — The 
East. 

We have often crossed a high table-land in this 
island, from whose sloping sides, at three points not 
far from each other, three important rivers hasten to 
the sea. One of them runs westward, and, though at 
first only a threadlike rill, ere it reaches the ocean it 
could bear upon its bosom the wealth and the navies 
of an empire. A second stream zigzags eastward, and 
waters some of the scenes the most renowned in his- 
tory and song of all that the northern section of this 
country contains. The third stream finds its way 
quietly to the deep. There is nothing remarkable, 
though there is not a little that is beautiful, along its 
margin. Its course is brief ; but its banks also have 
witnessed some of the most stirring events of past 
ages of rampant feudalism and its attendant pillage. 

The whole is an emblem of Home. From it, as 
from a centre, proceeds branch after branch, each 
producing its own effects, or wearing its own charac- 
teristics. One is signalized for good, and operates 
like a Howard ; another for evil, and stalks among 



SCRIPTURAL VIEWS OF HOME. 43 

men a demon ; one steals placidly through life, lowly 
in sphere, and unnoticed in character ; another ascends 
to some proud position, and is perhaps the victim of 
his own success. But all are swelling the aggregate 
of good or of evil in the world ; all are casting in 
their lot either with those who are blessings or those 
who are banes to society. 

And since so much depends upon home, and its in- 
fluence, it were well did we study with care its con- 
stitution and its laws. Let us next, then, glance at 
some of these. 

The individual — the family — the neighborhood — 
the country or the commonwealth — the world — these 
form the order in which society is developed. " Per- 
sons are elements of families ; families are the ele- 
ments of which both churches and kingdoms or com- 
monwealths are made up."* Now, if the second in 
this list depends on the first for its character, it is 
equally obvious that the second, or the family, must 
largely mould or modify the rest. It is there, as we 
have seen, that resistless influences come into opera- 
tion, and just as the constant dropping of water can 
smooth even a granite rock, do these influences mould 
and fashion society. And it is the purpose of God 
over all that it should be so. When man became a 
fallen creature, a great problem was raised, which has 
not yet been adjusted by any human device — How 
counteract that degeneracy ? How lift man from that 
degradation? How replace the statue on its pedestal? 
How restore happiness and purity to man? In solving 
that problem he has sought out many inventions. 

* John Howe. 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



Impart knowledge, is the prescription of some — and 
that will rectify all. Knowledge is power, and with 
that in his possession, it is argued, man will soon 
emerge from moral ruin, and take his place among 
the pure again. It is melancholy, however, to be 
forced to add that, though knowledge be power, it is 
often only power for evil. In itself it possesses no 
charm against guilt— nay, it is often found in closest 
league with the despotism which oppresses — the crime 
which embrutes — the habits which render degenerate 
man more degenerate still. 

Refine, civilize, cultivate, and you will elevate, is 
the prescription of another ; but here also the sad tes- 
timony of facts has long made it plain, that to civilize 
man may only be to refine or gild his vices, not to 
extirpate them — to cultivate his powers may often 
prove but a prelude to their more ingenious abuse. 
Precious as culture is, and to be prosecuted with the 
heart and the soul, it contains, in itself, no antidote to 
man's native tendency to sin and death. It will end 
in sorrow at the verge of the eternal world. 

JSTow, when human devices are thus found to be in- 
efficient, we appeal with the greater earnestness to the 
divine remedy. It is not knowledge, it is goodness ; 
it is not refinement, it is holiness ; it is not high cul- 
ture, it is Godlikeness that is the heavenly antidote to 
misery. These will produce the effect, or rather these 
are the effects produced ; and short of these, nothing 
can preserve society from corruption, or restore it 
after it has become corrupt. No seminary, however 
famous, no scholarship, however varied or profound, 
no supervision, however kindly or sleepless, can 



SCRIPTURAL VIEWS OF HOME. 



45 



supply the place of God's appointed means. These 
means must be employed, in the first instance, in our 
Homes ; and this brings us to consider the constitu- 
tion of home, in some of its leading aspects. 

And, first of all, contemplate that combination of 
powers which find then' confluence and centre there. 
There is the respect which is due to experience and to 
years. There is authority. There is power. There 
is example. Above all, there is love, tender, pre- 
eminent, and unequalled. By God's appointment, 
all these exert a moulding influence upon us at the 
time when we are most easily moulded, and some 
power of malignant influence is at work when all 
these are resisted, or when the young hasten to drink 
up iniquity in spite of such counteractives. 

Moreover, we may here give prominence to the 
length of time during which the young are dependent 
upon parental protection. In a few weeks or months 
at most, the dam and her young, in other cases, are 
estranged forever ; they wander over the world alike 
unknowing and unknown to each other. With man, 
however, the case is far otherwise. For years of in- 
fancy, for other years of boyhood or girlhood, and 
often for still other years of opening maturity, the 
young are seldom from under the parental eye. From 
the first wail at birth, often till the time when a sep- 
' arate home is set up by themselves, do the young 
thus continue dependent, and during all that time 
wholesome influences continue to mould and regulate, 
if the home be Christian, or if God's will be there 
supreme. Affection plies its sleepless task. Authori- 
ty wields its firm yet kindly sceptre. Ingenuity in- 



46 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



vents employments blended with amusement, and 
amusements which train and inform. Vice is no 
sooner seen than it is repressed. The good and the 
true are no sooner beheld than they are encouraged 
and promoted, and thus, by line upon line, here 
a little and there a little, the Divine Institution 
becomes the first of all seminaries, where children 
learn 

" To tread with happy steps the path of duty, 
Beloved and loving." 

Its impressions are the deepest and most lasting, be- 
cause they are the first and the tenderest ; and unless 
the mind could be decomposed and cast to the winds 
like the body, the effects of home-influence, home- 
affection, and home-education can never be effaced. 
They may be trampled on or set at nought ; but they 
have lodged a protest in the conscience which will 
continue to clamor for attention till the set time for 
hearing it has come. Penelope's web, woven with 
costly care, could be reduced to threads again, but 
the impressions of home are eternal. Parents, pon- 
der that! Your words may seem unheeded now, 
your prayers disregarded. But they will be heard 
at last louder than the roar of the tempest, and 
when conscience awakes, you will be honored and 
thanked. 

Such is the wise ordination of heaven : it is thus 
that all the lessons of home are deepened and ren- 
dered perpetual. Just when the mind is most plastic 
is it most impressed. The twig is not merely bent, it 
is set; it is kept bent so long in a certain direction, 
that ever after that process it retains its tendency ; its 



SCRIPTURAL VIEWS OF HOME. 



47 



predilection is life-lasting, except where some mighty 
counter-influence interposes — and even that interpo- 
sition is rarely forever. 

But another peculiarity in the domestic constitution 
is, that its influence is the influence of love — the most 
deep and powerful of all the feelings which control 
the life of man — something which confers a power as 
nearly creative as aught human can be. 

Not mere authority : that might foster slaves and 
serfs ; it could not train either a tender conscience, a 
loving heart, or a holy soul. 

Hot mere mechanical drilling by a scrupulous mar- 
tinet : that could form soldiers, who move without 
any will but one — a collection of arms and limbs, not 
men. 

2sot terror : that speaks only of bondage, and ever- 
more causes a reaction. 

Not these, then, but love should preside in our 
homes. That power, as it operates in a household, 
has been likened to the first snow-drop of spring, at 
once attracting and gladdening us — and as love is the 
first, so it is the mightiest and most lasting of all con- 
straining powers. Revenge may convulse. Avarice 
may grasp the whole man, and make him, body and 
soul, its victim or its slave — emphatically a miser, 
that is, a wretch. These and other strong passions 
may subdue and sway us for ill — but among all the 
influences which mould us for good, love is the un- 
challenged queen. Emanating from the bosom of 
Him who is love itself, it controls and softens all, 
unless they be clean gone in guilt. Affection elicits 
affection, and no need for very formal lessons, if there 



48 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



be a living example on the part of the parents. 
Home is then invested with a crowd of attractions. 
The rod which sways will be so light as to be unfelt ; 
nay, the absence of it would lead to grief. The whole 
constitution of home would be outraged ; the divine 
antidote to the ills of life would be bereft of its power, 
were the element of love to disappear. Founded 
upon divine authority, and presided over by affection, 
the family constitution will thus achieve what no 
earthly power need attempt — it can both sweeten bit- 
ter waters, and bring streams from the rock. It can- 
not make new creatures, but it can convince the 
thoughtless that they should be so. 

Yet, we must add, none of these effects need be 
expected unless the truth of God be the regulator, at 
once of love and of all besides. The Bible must 
temper authority or it will become despotism, and 
direct affection or it will degenerate into doting fond- 
ness. The Divine rule is here admirably minute. 
"These words, which I command thee this day, shall 
be in thine heart : and thou shalt teach them dili- 
gently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when 
thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by 
the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou 
risest up."* When parents are guided by such rules, 
affection will be swayed by wisdom, and will end in 
blessedness. The body in its place, and the soul in 
its — time and eternity in their due proportions, will 
be cared for. It will be seen, in short, that, strong as 
the language is, it is not too strong — the family may 
even reflect the attributes of the Great Father of all. 



* Deut vi. 6, 1. 



SCRIPTURAL VIEWS OF HOME. 



49 



It manifests His goodness in the copious happiness 
which it imparts ; His mercy in the ample provision 
for remedying evil ; His wisdom in the exquisite re- 
lations which are there created ; His holiness in the 
purity which Home should foster, by a care which is 
sleepless, and a persistency which yields to no ob- 
struction. In brief, deprive home of the Bible, and 
it becomes a centre of mere worldliness, or mere 
varnished ungodliness at the best— while, with the 
Word of God ascendant, and its Author honored, 
loved, and feared, Home becomes radiant with the 
light of heaven ; it is the abode of peace, for it is the 
abode of parity. He was wise who said — " Would 
you insure your houses by the best policy of insur- 
ance ? Then turn them into churches, and they shall 
be taken under the special protection of Him who 
keeps Israel," and that is done where the Bible is 
paramount.* 

With these influences in operation, then, Home may 
be likened to a great moral factory. A complicated 
machinery is there at work. Powers of various kinds, 
all conspiring to one great result, are put forth. A 
watchful eye observes the whole, and one mind pre- 
sides. There may be collisions or jarrings from time 
to time, but, on the whole, the operation is harmo- 
nious, and the results are precious. A nation is just 
what its homes make it — rich in virtue or sunk in 
vice — distinguished among the peoples like Britain, 
or degraded and crushed like Italy, or Spain, or Por- 
tugal, in Europe, and the Southern sections of Amer- 
ica, in the New World. 

* See M. Henry " On Family Religion. 5 ' 

S 



50 



THE ]tf EMBERS OE HOME. 



But the importance which attaches to Home and its 
constitution may appear from another point of view. 
"What can the Church or what can the school accom- 
plish, if home be distempered and disorganized \ The 
lessons of the pulpit and the desk, however whole- 
some or direct, are far more than counterbalanced by 
the influence of home, if evil be ascendant there. The 
example of one father or one mother will do more to 
propagate iniquity than ten teachers could easily 
counteract — a truth which is exemplified from day to 
day in the homes where sin is triumphant. "We have 
known one memorable case where a father's very 
wickedness was believed to have driven a son to the 
Rock that is higher than we. Broken and crushed in 
heart, he could find neither remedy nor refuge till he 
sought it in a Saviour. But that case is rare — it is 
almost solitary ; and the principle of imitation alone 
necessarily leads to results which are disastrous. "Who 
has not noticed the power of that principle operating 
in earliest childhood ? Implanted in man for the 
wisest purposes, to teach, to guide, and make us wise, 
it may be perverted, like every other good gift, to 
hasten our moral degradation ; and we accordingly 
see that the children of thieves grow up in dishonesty, 
the children of drunkards become drunkards, all by 
a law as unchanging as that which causes the brood 
of a vulture to be vultures. A parent's word is law. 
a parent's practice is more than law — it is both law 
and model to a child by the very appointment of 
God. and we thus read, often in a lurid light, both 
the blessedness and the misery which are in a parent's 
power according as the domestic constitution is kept 



SCRIPTURAL VIEWS OF HOME. 



51 



inviolate or outraged. "Family education and order," 
said one of the wisest of men, " are some of the chief 
means of grace. If these fail, all other means are 
likely to prove ineffectual ; if these be duly main- 
tained, all the means of grace are likely to prosper 
and be successful." It is thus that human wisdom 
re-echoes the divine, and proclaims the necessity of 
training up a child in the way in which he should 
go ; and to fit parents for doing so with calmness and 
consistency, the heart should be kept at peace with 
God : the conscience should be pure : the life should 
be holy : the affections warm. Counsels are then the 
words of the wise; they are goads. 

EXAMPLES. 

Many examples might be cited to illustrate these 
general truths. In South Carolina, a Christian mo- 
ther and widow, at the age of seventy-six, determined 
to gather all her living descendants around her once 
more ere she passed away from among them. They 
came on an appointed day, and her eldest son, a 
minister of the gospel, opened the meeting of the 
party with devotion. The number assembled was 
found to be eighty-five. Forty-four of these had ar- 
rived at maturity, of whom forty-three professed to 
be followers of the Lamb. The youngest sun, who 
was also a minister of religion, closed the business of 
a memorable day as the eldest had begun it, and 
surely, such an example very vividly illustrates the 
wholesome power of the domestic constitution. When 
the wisdom of God directs it, and the fear of God 
presides, the influence of home is salutary indeed. It 



52 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



is a living fountain sending forth fertilizing streams, 
and all around it, the scene is made green and goodly 
by its influence. From one stem, in this case, forty- 
three members of Christ's Church had sprung, and 
had these three-and-forty told their secret history, it 
might have appeared that from their aged relative, 
as the means, all that led to such blessings had been 
derived. 

But beneficent and blessed as are the divine arrange- 
ments regarding the family constitution, there are 
whole tribes and kingdoms to whom Home is unknown, 
and men are there, in consequence, engaged in vainly 
chasing the wind. The opinion has been hazarded 
that it was not, as is commonly supposed, the gulf 
which separated rank from rank that caused the first 
French Revolution, with all its murders and its crimes, 
so much as the complete disruption of family ties, the 
annihilation of the domestic constitution. And, what- 
ever may be thought of that supposition, there are ex- 
amples innumerable in the history of man, to illus- 
trate the effects which follow the violation of God's 
laws in this respect. What misery was occasioned in 
patriarchal times we need not again detail. What 
war has been piled upon war in all past ages need not 
be told. And in Eastern countries, in our own day, 
we see example upon example of the atrocities and 
bloodshed which flow from the domestic constitution 
outraged. Fratricide, parenticide, infanticide, have 
not seldom been all crowded into one dark tragedy. 
Wholesale butcheries have been perpetrated till pal- 
ace and dungeon alike flowed with blood. Page after 
page of Indian history thus seems red with murder ; 



SCRIPTURAL VIEWS OF HOME. 



53 



and the sore evil was at least fomented, if not pro- 
duced, by the violence which was first done to Home 
and its constitution. 

Would the families of India, then, be blessed? 
Would they see not merely these massacres forever 
over, but harmony and order taking their place ? 
Then, let the divine method, so often outraged, once 
more become man's standard and guide. Let parental 
authority, springing out of God's appointment, and 
directed by his will, regulate men's Homes. The God 
of all the families of the earth will bless them then. 
Peace, holiness, and preparation for heaven will reign, 
where a divine institution outraged now leads to 
hearts half-broken, to wives worse than widowed, and 
children worse than orphans. 



54 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



CHAPTER V. 

MARRIAGE. 

The Banian-Tree— Owenism — The Likeminded— Happy Unions— The Unhappy — 
Their Influence upon Home — Conversion after Marriage — The Effects, in Sor- 
row and in Joy— Philosophy at Fault— Examples — John Calvin— Hugo Grotius 
— Thomas Haliburton. 

On tlie banks of the Nerbudda, in Hindostan, there 
is a celebrated banian-tree, which has yielded shelter 
from an Indian snn to 7,000 soldiers at once. Though 
now much reduced by the encroaching floods of the 
river, the principal stems, exclusive of the branches, 
still occupy a space of about 2,000 feet in circumfer- 
ence. That kind of tree, it is well-known, is con- 
stantly originating new stems, while the central plant 
seems to be exempted from decay. The branches send 
forth pendent fibres from their extremities. When 
these fibres reach the ground they take root and be- 
come trunks, which in their turn produce others, and 
these others, as long as the earth supplies space and 
nourishment for such a progeny. Beneath these nat- 
ural canopies, as graceful, some tell us, as the long- 
drawn aisles of a cathedral, the Hindoo delights to 
loiter and to dream away his torpid life. He deems 
such trees, with their outstretched arms and their un- 
known antiquity, the very emblems of his gods. Near 
them he builds his pagodas, and there the sleek Brah- 
min, or the emaciated Faquir, finds both a temple for 
worship and a shade for luxury. 

Now, the banian-tree may be an emblem of mar- 



MARRIAGE. 



55 



riage and of home. From one stem another springs, 
another and another, till the offshoots may be counted 
by hundreds, or lost in the distance of half the globe's 
circumference. Some, indeed, would check all this 
outspreading, as if the wisdom of man could roll back 
the sure decree of God. He was reputed wise who 
answered the question, " When should man marry V- 
by saying, " A young man not yet ; an elderly man 
not at all." And Owen, the infidel, tried to extin- 
guish or annihilate the marriage relation, by arguing 
against it as an outrage upon man's freedom or his 
social progress. "The single-family arrangements," 
he says, in contrasting them with Communism, " are 
hostile to the cultivation in children of any of the 
superior and ennobling qualities of human nature. 
They are trained by them to acquire all the most 
mean and ignorant selfish feelings that can be gener- 
ated in the human character. The children within 
those dens of selfishness and hypocrisy, are taught to 
consider then* own individual family their own world, 
and that it is the duty and interest of all within this 
little orb, to do whatever they can to promote the ad- 
vantages of all the legitimate members of it. With 
these persons it is my house, my wife, my estate, my 
children ; or my parents, my brother, my sister, and 
our houses and property. This family party is trained 
to consider it quite right, and a superior mode of act- 
ing, for each member of it to seek, by all fair means, 
as almost any means except direct robbery are term- 
ed, to increase the wealth, honor, and privileges of the 
family, and every individual member of it."* 

* See " Boardman's Bible in the Family," page Vl. 



56 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



Such is the Socialist's advocacy of his own theory 
by caricaturing the Divine institution, where souls are 
knit together, as if by God's own hand — " for better, 
for worse ; for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in 
health ; to love and to cherish, till death do us part/' 
But in truth, to marriage as their terminus many of 
the arrangements of home are unconsciously pointed. 
The moral banian— a household — reproduces itself in 
spite of our philosophers, and the happiness or the mis- 
ery of Home is hence promoted by a necessary law. 

This being the case, then, how needful is it to enter 
on the married state, according to God's appointed 
order ! Surely the parties should be one in spirit, in 
heart, and aim, ere they be made one by His ordi- 
nance. Here, if ever, a wisdom more than human is 
needed, ere a relation be formed, upon which results 
inexpressible are suspended. And yet, how seldom 
does it happen, that God is consulted or his guidance 
asked ! How rare " the Bride's Prayer," — 

4 4 To thee, 0 God, I turn, 
Even in this hour of solemn happiness, 
Beseeching thee from thy bright dwelling-place, 
The glad abode of peace on high, to look 
Down on thy trembling handmaid t" 

Were we to visit the abodes even of Christian men, 
and had we a right to inquire into this subject, it 
might be found that passion, cupidity, casualty, or 
caprice, rather than aught purely Christian, had de- 
cided the union of two immortal beings, whose recip- 
rocal influence was to affect the destinies of both for- 
ever — nay, not merely of both, but of all the immortal 
beings who might spring from their union. 



MARRIAGE. 



57 



And of course, when the parties are actually united, 
the Home which they inhabit must take its character 
from their own. Are they ungodly — that is, has the 
true God never yet received the homage of their heart? 
Is he not honored, worshipped, thanked ? Has their 
union been formed, and are their pleasures sought in- 
dependent of Him on whom they hang for every breath 
they draw ? Then their home may be one of splendor 
or one of squalor. It maybe like a temple of Mammon, 
or a den of hard-driven drudges, but in either case, it is 
a home of misery because God is not feared. Their 
union should have made them blessed, but just in 
proportion as they pervert what should assimilate 
earth to heaven, do they treasure up misery, or fill a 
bitter cup which they must also drain. We here 
touch the focal point — the fountain-head of a thousand 
griefs.* 

On the other hand, however, is God honored by the 
married pair? Have they sought his blessing and 
his guidance, not merely by a priestly or a supersti- 
tious ceremony, but with the heart and soul ? Then 
peace will make its abode with them. The laugh, the 
tear, the joy, the sorrow, will be all in common. 
Trials may come, and crowds of crosses. The wife 
and mother, for example, may know how true it is 

* " Remember Lot. Remember- how he married. Remember what 
religious advantages he lost (by choosing Sodom for a home), in what 
company he placed his rising family — what ruinous disasters ingulfed 
or scattered them — what infamy blackens their reputation, and in what 
ominous silence the Scriptures omit ah notice of his death! Parents 
Remember Lot !" — " The Dwellings of the Righteous," by Rev. W. B. 
Mackenzie, chap. iv. 
3* 



58 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



that the very first step, on leaving the paternal roof 
to cross the threshold of her own new home, 

" Made April of her tender eyes ;" 

that is, she wept to take the very course on which her 
heart was bent. But still, where the wisdom of God 
has been consulted, and when He gives the grace 
which is needed for the married state, the blessedness 
of life is doubled — such souls understand why the re- 
lation which knits them together was selected by the 
Saviour as an emblem of His own union to the saved, 
or of their union to Him. The husband is there " the 
head of the wife," whom he " cherishes as his own 
flesh." " One flesh," according to the Divine appoint- 
ment, they are " one spirit with the Lord" by grace, 
and blessed in Him yet more than in each other. 
They take sweet counsel together, and the countless 
ties which unite them become stronger and stronger 
as years roll away. Unwise relatives, indeed, or those 
whom a wife has perhaps supplanted, may be tempt- 
ed to create dispeace. This and other causes may 
occasion a transient cloud amid the general sun- 
shine, or waves amid the general calm ; but, on the 
whole, the heavenly wdsdom guides, and the heav- 
enly blessedness is enjoyed, when God is the Author 
of a union. He meant it to double our happiness, and 
it often does far more. 

Further, there is much in the "Word of God to warn 
us on the subject of marriage, if men would be 
warned. No one who thinks of the closeness of that 
relation, on the one hand, and the solemn obligations 
of God's truth, upon the other, will deny that a Chris- 



MARRIAGE. 



59 



tian should not be yoked with an unbeliever. Though, 
we had no examples to quote of the sad effects of an 
opposite course, the Scriptures are explicit on the 
subject. When the Hebrews, for example, had got 
possession of Canaan, they were solemnly warned not 
to contract marriages with the remnants of the na- 
tions;* and should that warning be slighted, they 
were told that the idolaters would " be snares and 
traps to them, and scourges in their sides, and thorns 
in their eyes. 5 ' Now, who has not seen all that, in 
spirit, realized in connection with marriage ? Godli- 
ness has been quenched. All that once gave promise 
of blessed days to come has been rudely nipt, and the 
soul which once seemed not far from the kingdom of 
heaven has hurried along the broad road, ensnared or 
ruined by the object of a misplaced affection. Few 
sights are more sad than to witness this decay and ex- 
tinction of early piety, amid scenes which should have 
fostered and matured it — to see the husband searing 
the conscience of a wife, or a wife, like Jezebel, dead- 
ening that of her husband — and, like the meeting of 
two fires, just rendering the moral devastation more 
complete. Surely such things rank among the saddest 
of all moral spectacles — they have turned many a 
home into a sepulchre for souls. f 

But further still : it sometimes happens that parties 

* Josh, xxxiii. 12, 13. 

\ We never knew of a marriage but one broken off purely on re- 
ligious grounds. After the settlements were drafted, that was done 
upon a further explanation of religious views. And fifteen years there- 
after, the objecting party could still ratify the deed. Where God is not 
feared, His blessing cannot be expected, and that conviction was felt 
and acted on. 



60 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



who have been united while the Great God was un- 
known, are afterward convinced of their sin and their 
folly in taking such a step. Or one of them, for ex- 
ample the wife, may be brought to welcome a Saviour, 
while the other still lives as the world does — unthink- 
ing, and unsaved. ]STow, there is often sorrow upon 
sorrow in such homes ; the misery of being unequally 
yoked becomes poignant or even crushing there. In 
spite of the Divine prohibition, the husband is " bitter 
against the wife,'' and " the star which is called 
Wormwood" is ascendant in her lot. True, the good 
Lord has graciously made provision for comfort, even 
when that sore misery has come. " What knowest 
thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband ? 
Or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt 
save thy wife f ? * That, and the u chaste conversa- 
tion coupled with fear,*' of another apostle,+ may fos- 
ter the hope of winning the wanderer, or captivating 
one whom no other power could subdue. This, how- 
ever, holds out no encouragement to form this solemn 
relation in the hope of winning the lost. The Scrip- 
tures speak of those who are united, not of those who 
design to he so. In the former case, the blessing of 
God may be expected — in the latter, it cannot come, 
unless he could bless the neglect of his own revealed 
will, or smile on those who do evil that good may 
come. 

Again, philosophy has ventured upon some dicta 
regarding marriage, which are not always true. 
Lord Bacon, for example, has said that " a wife and 
children are impediments to great enterprises, whether 

* 1 Cor. vil 16. fl Pet. iii. 1, 2. 



MARRIAGE. 



61 



in the way of virtue or of wickedness ;" but many 
facts are upon record which show that this opinion 
needs to be largely modified. The husband and the 
father has reasons for putting forth energy, for em- 
barking in high enterprises, or displaying the great 
and the generous in conduct, which other men have 
not — his Home, if the mind of God preside there, 
may be the nursery of all that is glowing in affection, 
or benevolent in purpose, or noble in deed. The in- 
tercourse of husband with wife, and of brothers with 
sisters, develops and matures the whole of our moral 
nature, and it were, therefore, to impeach the wisdom 
of the domestic constitution to regard the married 
relation as hostile to the generous, the benevolent or 
the great in action. The conjugal, the parental, and 
the filial ties form a threefold cord, which is not easily 
broken, and which binds men at least to attempt 
whatever man can achieve. If to all this we add the 
wisdom and experience which such relations are fitted 
to impart, we cannot but regard the circle of Home 
as favorable to noble and intrepid deeds. He who 
made Home what it is, and who proclaims marriage 
to be honorable in all, has also made sure that from 
that fountain much that is lovely and of good report 
shall flow. The intertwining of heart with heart 
necessitates such things, as it certainly forms one of 
the most exquisite joys of life. 

u The braided root3 that bind 
The towering cedar to the rock" 

do not constitute a stronger tie than that which binds 
a father and a husband to what is honorable, and up- 
right, and pure. 



62 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



But we should glance at another aspect of married 
life. When it begins in mere earth-born affection, it 
will speedily decay like all earthly things. There is 
no love infallibly lasting but love in Christ, and a 
thousand things tend to destroy our merely mortal 
ties. Beauty fades. Attempts to please diminish. 
Estrangement creeps over one party or both. It is 
not in human nature to love the unlovely — and hence, 
coldness, neglect, alienation, followed by moroseness 
and strife, constitute the married history of not a 
few — 

" Another's sin is quickly made the plea 
Of my neglected duty" — 

and a life of mutual crimination is certain to ensue. 
In all its bearings, then, we see what blessedness is 
wrapt up for man in the ordinance of marriage when 
God ? s mind directs it — what sorrow when His mind 
is set aside. It may double man's happiness or de- 
stroy it ; it may soothe his grief or augment it ; it 
may turn his weakness into strength, or prostrate all 
his powers ; it may diffuse somewhat of the bloom 
and the blessedness of untainted Eden, or supersede 
all felicity by anguish, according as the will of God is 
consulted or ignored. 

And we thus learn how much of the blessedness of 
Home depends upon the spirit in which men enter 
into marriage. It should be the union of two souls 
who are already one in Christ, and where that is not 
the case, a foundation is laid for sorrow rather than 
for joy. The Saviour consecrated marriage when he 
cleared it alike from J ewish and Gentile corruptions, 
for as he found it debased, so lie gave it its proper 



MARRIAGE. 



C3 



place among the ordinances of God. It has been 
said, that " with the Athenians, woman was merely 
the household drudge, incapable of rational inter- 
course and friendship." The fact that a large propor- 
tion of female children are destroyed in China tells 
its own revolting tale. • Here, wolf, take thy lamb,' 
is said to have been the old Russian formula of mar- 
riage .... and the Mussulman idea is that 
women have no souls."* But the Saviour rectified 
all that : he gave to woman her proper place, and to 
marriage its proper character — and no man who has 
studied that subject in the light of eternal truth, can 
too urgently proclaim that half the world's woes and 
more may be traced to the abuse or the perversion of 
marriage. " He that marrieth, let him marry in the 
Lord," is the heavenly injunction. Wherever it is 
not obeyed there is sin, and where there is sin so rad- 
ical, can there be a blessing ? 

But the general maxims which are commonly pre 
scribed to regulate marriage it is not our purpose to 
detail. In broad and general terms it may be assert- 
ed, that the most dutiful son becomes the best hus- 
band and father, the most dutiful daughter the best 
wife and mother; and where duty is directed by 
Christian principle, a true foundation is laid for as 
much happiness as man need expect in a world where 
he is born to trouble as the sparks fly upward. 

EXAMPLES. 

The marriage of Calvin, and his views regarding 
it, may help to illustrate the subject. Devoted to the 

* Dr. Harris m " Patriarchy," p. 240. 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



Reformation, lie was long reluctant to enter into 
the state of wedlock. Importuned, however, by his 
friends, he at length consented, and more than one of 
them were employed to aid him in procuring a help- 
mate. In writing on the subject to his friend William 
Farell, Calvin says, " Remember what I especially de- 
sire to meet with in a wife. I am not, you know, of 
the number of those inconsiderate lovers who adore 
even the faults of the woman who charms them. I 
could be pleased only with a lady who is sweet, chaste, 
modest, economical, patient, and careful of her hus- 
band's health. Has she of whom you have spoken 

to me these qualities ? Then come with her 

if not, let us say no more on the subject." On an- 
other occasion Calvin wrote to the same friend — 
" There has been named to me a young lady, rich, of 
noble birth, and whose dowry surpasses all I could 

desire I think," he adds, " she is too proud 

of her birth and of her education," — and though 
Calvin was importuned by friend after friend to enter 
into that union, the plan was abandoned— he " con- 
gratulated himself on not marrying a lady who, with 
a large fortune, was far from possessing the requisite 
simplicity and humility," 

Another proposal was also broken off, though from 
a different cause. Ere Calvin was finally committed, 
something unchristian in the lady's character trans- 
pired, and he resolved to continue single. At Stras- 
bourg, however, he found a congenial partner in 
Idelette de Bure, the widow of an Anabaptist. She 
was possessed of no attractions but her piety. She 
had a living faith, had suffered persecution for the 



MARRIAGE. 



G5 



truth — and the Reformer never had reason to repent 
his choice. His married life, however, was brief, for 
Idelette was soon summoned away from her husband 
and this world ; but the record of her dying hours 
enables us to see how suitable she was as a wife to 
Calvin, and how tender, how compassionate, and 
Christian he was as a husband to her. 

Again, upon the Rhine, not very far from Dort, the 
traveller's attention is attracted by the hoary remains 
of a castle which carries the scars of many centuries. 
About two hundred and fifty years ago, it was the 
scene of an adventure which shows, along with a 
thousand similar transactions, how closely two per- 
sons may be linked by the strong ordinance of God. 
Hugo Grotius, one of the most learned and accom- 
plished men of his day, was imprisoned in that for- 
tress. He had adopted sentiments in religion which 
were not popular in Holland, his native land, and 
that and other causes brought him into trouble. 
Hitherto he had been greatly honored, and held some 
of the highest offices in the State, but that Castle of 
Luvestein had now become his home — he was sen- 
tenced to imprisonment there for life. Such a doom, 
however, was more than his wife could bear for her 
husband, and after having been about eighteen months 
immured, he escaped by her heroic devotedness, ren- 
dered inventive by affection, and resolute as woman- 
hood can be, when its energies are concentrated upon 
some cherished object. 

As a student, Grotius had his books frequently con- 
veyed into the castle in a chest, and after that practice 
had been continued long enough to lull suspicion, he 



66 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



was himself carried out instead of liis books. His 
wife presided with intense anxiety over every stage of 
that critical operation, and as her own liberty was 
imperilled by the measure, she deserves to be ranked 
among the women who saved the lives of their hus- 
bands at the risk of their own. Like the case of that 
Queen of England who sucked the poison from her 
husband's wound, and put her own life in jeopardy for 
his, the case of Grotius tells how completely two 
may be made one — actually identified by that ordi- 
nance of God, which stands second among all that he 
has given for the guidance or the happiness of man. 

But on the subject of marriage and its influence 
upon Home, it is more to our purpose to select some 
purely Christian model, and we instance the case of a 
Scottish worthy — the Rev. Thomas Haliburton. 

When he was in circumstances which permitted 
him to marry, his firm purpose was to be guided, in 
a measure so solemn, by heavenly wisdom alone. He 
was determined at the outset " not to be unequally 
yoked with an unbeliever," and therefore went first to 
God for direction. Xo worldly advantages were per- 
mitted to warp him from that resolution.* As a 
Christian, Haliburton would be a Christian always, 
and surely never more than in that transaction on 
which so much of his blessedness in time and forever 
depended. He knew that marriage was ordained by 
God to promote man's happiness, but he also knew 
that man often perverts it to augment his misery; 
and he tried to avoid that rock in the step which was 

* The Rev. Samuel Walker, of Truro, declined a matrimonial alli- 
ance because he discovered that the lady possessed £10,000. 



MARRIAGE. 



67 



second in importance only to that by which he would 
pass up to his eternal home. Halliburton, in short, set 
the Lord before him, and was jealous over all wisdom 
except that which comes from above. 

He had been disappointed in one case, and was ren- 
dered more circumspect in the next proposal, which 
ended in his marriage. He tested his own spiritual 
condition, to ascertain whether he had any ground to 
expect a real blessing from his God. Solemnized by 
what is unquestionably momentous, however the friv- 
olous may pervert it, this man of God would not 
move without the pillar of cloud or of fire before him, 
and he was blessed as all will be who wait upon the 
Lord for guidance. He might be cast down to-day, 
but hope brightened to-morrow ; difficulties cleared 
away, for he tried to keep the lamp in his hand,* and 
in due time, the appointed helpmates were united — 
they were blessed and made blessings to each other. 
Prayer preceded, prayer accompanied, and prayer fol- 
lowed all that Haliburton did, and parents and chil- 
dren together were thus made happy from on high. 

Now the contrast between this good man's conduct, 
and that of many who name Christ's name, is suffi- 
ciently remarkable. He was prepared for the joys of 
Home, and they were copiously shed down upon him. 
He made his marriage a part of his religion, not 
something separate and distinct, and his union was 
one which his Lord would have graced by his pres- 
ence, as he did the marriage at Cana. In a word, 
Haliburton adopted the course which the only wise 
God had prescribed, and marriage was to him, not 

* Psalm cxix. 105. 



68 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



what superstition makes it on the one hand, a Sacra- 
ment, nor what worldliness makes it on the other, 
scarcely a decent ceremonial, but what the Word of 
God makes it, a source of solemn thoughts and 
of satisfying blessedness. It gladdened all the days 
of Haliburton, as the palm-trees and the water of 
Elim gladdened the Hebrews in the desert. He 
sought the Lord in the matter — the Lord heard— and 
that man's joy was both heart-deep and life-long. It 
would be ever so, did men solemnly consult the 
Counsellor in the most momentous step of mortal 
life, next to the hour which closes it. 



THE FATHER AT HOME. 



69 



CHAPTER VI. 

THE FATHER AT HOME. 

The Pulse — Its varieties — Sin in our Homes — Its varieties — A Father's place and 
functions — His power — "When Teaching should commence — The Prophet of 
Home— The Priest— The King— The extent of a Father's rule— The Rod— Sow- 
ing in tears — Severity — Eli, a warning— The "Jealous God 1 ' — Princes wander- 
ing where there is no way — Guiding the Young to Christ — Examples— Presi- 
dent Edwards— Another — Oliver Cromwell. 

When an inexperienced hand is placed upon the 
pulse at the wrist, only the more general characters of 
its beating can be detected. It may be quick, or it 
may be slow ; it may be regular, or it may be inter- 
mittent ; but these are nearly the only distinctions 
which unskilled fingers can detect. 

On the other hand, however, when a skilful practi- 
tioner feels the pulse, it is well-known that he can 
distinguish upward of twenty different kinds, indica- 
ting as many different states of the body. Frequent, 
slow, intermittent, equal, regular, variable — full, long, 
laboring, bounding, feeble — hard, sharp, strong — wiry, 
weak, soft, yielding — quick, tardy — large, small* — 
all these can be distinguished by a practised physi- 
cian, and all these are helpful to him in dealing with 
the diseases with which he must grapple. 

And who has not noticed that in the govern- 
ment or the training of a family, similar distinctions 
meet us among the dispositions of its members ? 

* Isaac Taylor, in " Home Education." 



70 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



Their temperaments may vary as much as the eon- 
tours of the human countenance, though one thing 
they all have in common, namely, a fallen, sinful 
nature. Amid endless diversities that much is identi- 
cal, and often little more. Sin is thus encountered in 
forms as various as the number of inmates in a Home. 
It is ready to resist authority, or impose upon good- 
ness ; it resents restraint ; it refuses to profit by the 
counsels of experience ; and ignorance, rashness, way- 
wardness, and folly often prevail, in spite of prayers, 
of lessons, and example. There are, indeed, some 
gentle natures fashioned for the quiet enjoyment of 
life, and they, from their youth upward, seem to 
make Truth their polestar, and Duty their delight. 
But, even in such cases, the Father of all may not be 
loved. There is affection felt and duty done to others, 
but the God of our mercies may all the while be for- 
gotten. 

But whatever be the component parts of Home, a 
father has to guide and fashion them according to the 
supreme wisdom embodied in the Scriptures. Placed 
at the centre of influence, and near the hearts of his 
children, he is to wield all his authority — an authority 
unmatched in the world — in training them for God. 
Long ere they can reason, or act as responsible beings, 
that training should commence, and ever onwards 
should whatever can repress the wrong or encourage 
the right be lovingly employed. Often amid these 
duties, the thought may occur, " Who is sufficient for 
these things ?" and there may be times when the 
heart seems ready to faint and fail. But difficulty or 
danger to the creatures whom he loves, will just make 



THE FATHER AT HOME. 



71 



a Christian father more circumspect, or more decided ; 
he will watch for their souls like one who must give 
an account. By thought, word, and deed, he will try 
to get possession of the young heart for God, and 
then sedulously lead it in all the ways in which youth 
should go. Spreading the sunshine of love over all 
that he does — except where sin turns his smile into a 
frown — and pointing often to the Father who is in 
heaven, or the Elder Brother beside the throne, the 
earthly father will try to stamp the impress of truth 
upon the heart, ere the w r orld shall have steeled it by 
its godless power. 

But this is too vague. As a father's words, his 
tones, and looks, are a law to his child, for which no 
other authority can fully compensate, the paternal in- 
fluence begins with the dawn of perception. " When 
God places any man, solitary before, or only a son, at 
the head of a family, does he not say by such a step, 
' I constitute you the trustee, the guide, the guardian 
of this part of mankind. All under the roof are 
your charge, and to you intrusted.' Now for what 
end ? To be ruled or not ? To be instructed or not ? 
To be by your example and your precepts led to 
heaven or not ? The negative in such cases is not 

merely monstrous — it is profane.* " Amid 

all this, as we have already seen in passing, a father's 
functions may be regarded under three aspects : — 

First, he is the Prophet of his Home. It is he that 
should both explain and enforce the Word of God. 
Childhood should repose without one doubt upon the 
word of an earthly parent, and that, preparatory to 

* Anderson on the " Domestic Constitution," Part. ii. sec. 5. 



72 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



faith in the Word of a Father who is in heaven. 
From the earthly parent the first lessons of wisdom 
are learned, and they should commence as early as 
attention can be fixed ; not in formal tasks, or in 
scholastic phrases, but in the countless ways which 
intelligent affection can invent without effort, and em- 
ploy without weariness — nay, with delight. It may 
be a look, a word, a tone, a gesture — it may be a 
flower, a star, a little bird, or any object within ken ; 
but all will be made to point in one direction, if the 
father really loves the soul of his child. Standing in 
God's place, that father will train for Him, and ac- 
cording to His Word. Whatever is less than that is 
error — perhaps it is rebellion — while it may end in 
ruin to the child. In a word, anarchy with misery, 
or order with happiness ; self-will with sorrow, or 
God's will with the abundance of peace, are the les- 
sons which a Christian father has to teach. What 
has God revealed ? What is written concerning man, 
concerning God, and concerning the way which leads 
to His favor ? All that will be imparted by the fa- 
ther-prophet as the young mind can receive it. By 
such a process, the God of all our families is honored, 
while parents escape the doom of those who destroy 
their children's souls — sin is repressed, holiness pro- 
moted, and happiness on earth and forever made as 
sure as man's endeavors can make it. True, that fa- 
ther may be laid in the dust before such seed can 
ripen into fruit ; but with his dying breath he may 
hope that He who gave the Word will bless it. He 
may trust that the acorn which he has planted will 
become an oak, and that, though many things may 



THE FATHER AT HOME. 73 

threaten to crush the germ. He whose promises are to 
us and to our children will fulfil them at the appoint- 
ed time. 

It may here be remarked that there are some note- 
worthy examples upon record, of men who have been 
involuntarily the prophets of Home in regard to the 
truth of God ; they have deferred to it, and taught it 
to their children while they disregarded it in their 
own conduct. The poet Burns is an instance. In 
cases not a few, that lofty genius but moral wreck 
gave unequivocal symptoms of his scepticism, and 
we know from the sad history of his life, that he often 
trampled the truth of God in the dust. Yet, in one 
of his letters, he has recorded his purpose to have a 
much-loved son trained according to the Bible. He 
approved of the right, though he did the wrong, and 
longed to have his little ones taught the truths which 
their father questioned. ISTow his case is not solitary, 
and such examples light us far into the knowledge of 
a father's heart upon the one hand, and the beauty of 
truth upon the other. May Ave not see in them also, 
some rays of hope concerning that gifted yet grovel- 
ling man ? The truth touched his soul. 

But besides the office of a prophet to instruct, a 
father has, in one sense, the duties of a Priest to dis- 
charge. He cannot offer sacrifice — that has been 
done once for all — but he can point to the Lamb of 
God. He can imitate the Great Intercessor, and 
intercede for his little ones, or the Great Mediator, 
and "give God no rest " till Christ be formed in them 
the hope of glory — less than that is less than a Chris- 
tian father's love. The case of Job, already quoted, 
4 



74 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



illustrates this function of a father.* Amid the birth- 
day festivities of his sons and daughters, the patriarch 
trembled lest they should sin against God, and offered 
sacrifices, " according to the number of them all." 
From day to day that practice was continued, and in 
the same spirit every father, who is also a Christian, 
will act. The mere suspicion that his children may 
have sinned, will urge that man toward the throne 
of God. Like the Great Intercessor who prayed for 
those whom God had given him out of the world, 
such a father will intercede for his household. Their 
names will be all upon his heart, and animated by 
love as well as prompted by the truth of God, he will 
offer continually at least "the calves of his lips." 

Of all the proofs of the sad effects of sin which 
meet us in the world, few are sadder than the fact 
that many parents never offer a single prayer for their 
children — many a child never heard his father or his 
mother pray. But, unlike such fathers, the father- 
priest makes every fear and every case of wayward- 
ness, every joy and every sorrow, birthdays, burial- 
days, and all that happens in checkered family life, 
another and another errand to the throne. He casts 
himself upon the fatherhood of God, while sympathy 
for suffering and sorrow for sin combine to press on 
him the need of an Advocate alike for himself and 
his little ones. It is here that we and our children 
are placed under the Almighty shield, and here that 
we enter together upon that sacred domain which is 
at once hallowed and made safe by the blood of the 
Lamb. The father-priest on earth, guiding the young 

* Job i. 5. 



THE FATHER AT HOME. 



75 



to the priest upon the throne, is the way to conduct 
them to glory — the house of the Lord forever. 

But besides the functions of prophet and of priest, a 
Christian father is also a King — a king unto God in 
the Home which shelters the objects of his loving care. 

A family is often called the model of all government. 
The father is king; the children are the subjects; 
the Word of the King of kings is the statute-book, and 
as man was happy in Eden just as long as God's will 
was unchallenged law, our homes are happy just as 
long as fathers are obeyed in the Lord. The sceptre, 
we repeat, is love, but it is absolute nevertheless. 
The authority may be abused ; the kingly office may 
degenerate into a despotism where man, not God, 
gives law. But that does not impair, or supersede 
the divine arrangement that the father of a family 
shall be its king. Obedience is to be cordial, prompt, 
continual, for it is yielded to affection rather than 
mere authority or power. And it is to be given be- 
cause the father wills it — not for reasons shown to the 
child. The time for giving explanations on the one 
side, and understanding them upon the other, will 
come ; but, meanwhile, submission and obedience are 
due to the father as the father ; and it is the wise or- 
dination of the Great Parent that all shall be done so 
promptly and so cordially that even the youngest 
child may learn, before it can utter the sentiment, 
that perfect freedom can be found only in perfect 
obedience. "While a father looks upon his children as 
a portion of himself, and treats them accordingly, he 
and they as one are to be guided by God's Word ; and 
thus is the happiness of all copiously provided for by 



76 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



the Holy One and the J ust — -his own all-wise govern- 
ment is repeated in miniature in every well-ruled 
home. The same principles preside; the same love 
animates ; the same results, or glory to God and 
blessedness to man, are promoted, and a Christian 
father thus becomes a representative of God upon 
the earth. The little paradise has happiness restored. 

By all this we just mean that the father of a family 
is in God's place to his children ; he is to rule them 
as God would do. While guided by the supreme 
law, there is no appeal from his authority. As the 
first man had no superior and no guide but God 
alone, wise childhood has no superior and no guide 
but a father. Regulated by the Divine model, the 
government of God, Home is absolutely under the 
control of its head. He is responsible to God for the 
use of his power, and woe to the man who turns 
power into despotism, and control into oppression. 
But wherever a father acts according to the mind of 
the just Judge of all, that father's will is the court of 
last appeal. His sceptre should be one of love, and 
upon the supposition that it will be so, the sweeping 
injunction is — "Children obey your parents in all 
things, for this is well-pleasing unto the Lord." 
While the father-king rules, in short, his word is 
law. He has transmitted to his children an entail of 
misery and disease, but he has in his possession an 
antidote to both — that word of the Lord which en- 
dureth forever; and while imparting its lessons, he is 
to be honored with all deference, and obeyed without 
a challenge. This is vital, it is essential — its absence 
is fraught with peril. 



THE FATHER AT HOME. 



77 



It is thus that the father of a family combines in 
his own person the offices of judge and counsel, of 
friend and patron — of prophet, priest, and king. In 
none of these relations is he independent. Looking 
upward, he has a heavenly Guide whom he must fol- 
low, and a heavenly tribunal where he must stand at 
last ; looking downward, he sees his little ones wait- 
ing not merely for daily bread, but for example, for 
doctrine, for reproof, for correction, and instruction in 
righteousness, and amid all this, the teacher is him- 
self a learner. He has habits of self-government to 
acquire; he has to study himself in his child, and 
often read humbling lessons as he beholds his own 
waywardness and folly reproduced. Such experience 
may sometimes embitter his life, for, in spite of prayer, 
of warnings, and example, no dew may gather upon 
his fleece : the heavens may be as brass, and the earth 
as iron, amid all his efforts. But just the greater is 
his need to make them. His is a warfare in which 
there is no discharge, a harvest in which the reaping 
may seem both late and scanty ; but that should not 
affect his sowing: nay, he should sow beside all 
waters, he should embrace every opportunity both to 
learn and to teach ; and it may be his lot at last to 
return, bringing his sheaves with him. If he proceed 
in the right order, and first enthrone Christ in his 
heart, and then in his home,- that father will be made 
a blessing. His influence and its effects may be long 
unperceived — like the labors of the coral insect — but 
like them also, they may at last appear in a beauty 
and a verdure which charm all eyes.* 

* " It is not merely by speaking to children about spiritual things that 



7$ 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



Or more : there can be little doubt that some fathers 
err on the side of undue severity. Though a father's 
power be absolute, it is not despotic ; though un- 
challengeable, it is not irresponsible. The Saviour's 
gentle treatment of his disciples while they were weak 
in the faith, and when he had many things to tell them 
which they could not bear, should be our model in 
dealing with children. There are, no doubt, cases of 
self-will, of precocious depravity, or determined op- 
position to what is right and good according to God's 
Word, which must be resolutely met. The emphatic 
prohibition repeated so often in the ten command- 
ments — " Thou shalt not" — needs still to be pressed, 
from day to day, and it is blindfold sentiment, not in- 
telligent principle, to withhold that prohibition where- 
ever it is needed. Nay, that divine institution, the ' 
rod, may perhaps require to be employed in such cases, 
and aught else were often cruelty. But, in general, 
the wild may be tamed, and the wayward subdued, if 
the counsels of God's Word be followed ; and either 
to alienate the affections, or to chafe the spirit of the 
young when gentle measures would suffice, is an ex- 
treme which parents have sometimes lived to deplore. 
If correction were administered through tears — if a 

you win them over. If that be all you do, it will accomplish nothing, 
less than nothing. It is the sentiments which they hear at home, it is 
the maxims which rule your daily conduct — the likings and dislikings 
which you express — the whole regulations of the household, in dress, 
and food, and furniture — the recreations you indulge — the company 
you keep — the style of your reading — the whole complexion of daily 
life — this creates the element in which your children are either grow- 
ing in grace, and preparing for an eternity of glory — or they are learn- 
ing to live without God, and to die without hope." — " Married Life " 
1 y Rev. W. 15. Mackenzie, chap. ix. 



THE FATHER AT HOME. 



79 



day, or even an hour, were allowed to intervene be- 
tween the transgression and the punishment, home 
might in many a ease be made more sunny, and neither 
the outbreak of passion nor the violation of paternal 
law would be witnessed so often as it is. 

The case of Eli is often quoted upon this subject. 
If some err upon the side of undue severity, he trans- 
gressed by extreme indulgence. Gross sins were 
committed by his sons, whom he did not restrain ; or 
if he seemed to do so, it was in a way so faint-hearted 
and feeble as to be utterly inadequate to the nature 
of the trespass. And we know the result — misery to 
the father, poverty and death to the sons — guilt which 
could not be atoned for, a family proscribed or out- 
lawed from mercy through many generations, and 
woe piled upon woe till sire and son alike sank beneath 
the mass. It is a beacon warning us of misery and 
death at hand. It is a monument erected in perpetual 
memory of authority abused upon the one hand, and 
despised upon the other. The case proclaims aloud 
that when parents poison the souls of their children, 
or let others do so, that demands a sadder retribution 
than even the destruction of the body. 

Is or was it otherwise in the case of David's home, 
when he forgot the principles which should constantly 
rule there. We read concerning one of his children, 
that "his father had never displeased him at anytime, 
saying, Wherefore hast thou done so ?" And what 
was the result ? If that principle of action was car- 
ried out among David's other children, what were the 
effects \ Most sad. One of his sons was guilty of in- 
cest, and was, in revenge, murdered in cold blood by 



80 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME, 



Lis brother. Next, that murderer rebelled against 
his father, and drove him, for a time, from his throne. 
Then the rebel himself was cut off by a violent death. 
Farther, a third son rebelled against David in his old 
age, and turned his home into a scene of melancholy 
confusion, of rivalry and strife, of plots and counter- 
plots, till the heart sickens at such conduct under the 
roof of a man of God. Now all this proclaims, as if 
it were written on the face of the sky, the dire effects 
of parental indulgence. That father will most prob- 
ably eat his bread in bitterness at last, who makes his 
own blind affection, and not the mind of God, his rule 
in the guidance of his home. The pampered favorite 
will become the fretting plague. The untamed spirit 
will wield a usurped authority, and, worst of all, con- 
science, alive at length both to God's enactments and 
to man's neglect, will perhaps turn the father's eyes 
into a fountain of tears — his home into the abode of 
the heart-broken, his deathbed into a scene of gloomy 
retrospection, and death into twice the King of Ter- 
rors. 

" I, the Lord thy God, am a jealous God, visiting 
the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the 
third and fourth generation of them that hate me." 
Such is a solemn portion of the Word of God. "Will 
fathers ponder it well ? Some are startled by such 
an announcement, as if it were contrary at once to 
Jehovah's mercy and His justice. They assume that 
the word " visiting" necessarily means death and eter- 
nal destruction, and upon that assumption they base 
objections to the truth. But it is a portion of the law 
of God notwithstanding, and in His holy providence 



THE FATHER AT HOME. 



81 



He has placed it beyond dispute ; it ranks among the 
absolute truths — the laws of His kingdom. He has 
acted upon it in the ages which are past ; and we 
cannot look around us upon the haunts of busy men 
without seeing it exemplified, sometimes in fearful 
ways. Children dishonored, beggared, diseased, dy- 
ing, all in consequence of their father's guilt, — doomed 
to exile, or to ignominy, it may be from generation to 
generation, and never able any more to lift the head 
above the waves which break over it. Nay, more 
conspicuous still : men have been chased from their 
thrones because their power had been abused, and 
their children, or their children's children, who might 
in their turn have been crowned kings, have wandered 
where there was no way. Instead of a palace, their 
home has been some den or cave of the earth ; and 
even when they could muster armies to fight for their 
crown-rights, a perpetual exile has still been their 
doom. Trace the history of the exiled Stuarts ; mark 
their ineffectual struggles, their gleams of victory, to 
be followed by dark defeats, and who, with an open 
Bible may not read in these things the appointed re- 
sults of the heartlessness of one member of that house, 
— the unprincipled sensuality of another — the oppres- 
sions and apostasy of a third ? The gathering cloud 
was long pent up, but it broke at last, and the dis- 
charge swept a dynasty away. 

It is thus, then — without travelling to the land of 
Ham, and other historical examples — it is thus that 
we see how truly the Holy One is " a jealous God." 
He protests in a way more emphatic than thunder, 
against the neglect of fatherly duty on the one hand, 
4* 



82 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



and of filial obligation upon the other. The offence 
and the chastisement run on together, like a stream 
widening and deepening as it flows, till families once 
conspicuous wither, dwindle, die — or, if the line be 
continued, they are often only the objects of compas- 
sion — pensioners, paupers, abjects. 

But these remarks upon the duties of a father 
would be singularly lame and impotent did they con- 
tain no reference to the great terminus of all fatherly 
influence, namely, bringing the young to the Saviour. 
Whatever falls short of that, really frustrates the 
great end of life ; and were that result more com- 
monly aimed at, fatherly duty in other respects would 
both be more easy and more successful. The parents 
who brought their children of old to the Saviour are 
a model here, and his reception of them is an encour- 
agement. The scene is one of the most striking that 
the mind can rest upon. On the one hand is helpless 
infancy ; on the other is Omnipotence — God with us. 
On the one hand is parental yearning seeking the 
happiness of the helpless ; on the other is the Sun and 
the Shield who can give both grace and glory ; and 
to copy that picture, to repeat that scene, should be 
the endeavor unto prayer of every loving father. 
There are fathers who watch over the bodies of their 
children, and do their duty to them with affectionate 
care, who wisely consider this world's interests, and 
train their children for it, but who neglect the soul, 
its interests, and welfare. It is starved, or left for 
dead, while all the concerns of earth are scrupulously 
arranged. Xow such parents take the place, and act 
the part, of the disciples who would have hindered 



THE FATHER AT HuAIE. 83 

affection from bringing the objects of its solicitude to 
Christ — they impede instead of promoting the happi- 
ness of the young. But let fathers learn to put that 
first which God puts first, and then in the dwellings 
of the righteous the melody of joy and of health will 
be heard. The father will be blessed in his child, and 
the child in his father ; while both of them rejoice in 
the favor of their God on high. 

It is true, many a father has unfitted himself for the 
duties which have just been described. He is living 
in sin. He is ignorant. God's truth is unknown. 
Or the man is indolent. Duty is felt to be irksome, 
and even the love of his little ones can neither rouse 
his conscience nor draw forth exertion. As the vic- 
tim of some ascendant sin or some tyrant passion, 
that father is neglecting all that is sacred in duty and 
precious in souls. But none of these things can ex- 
empt or excuse him. He is bound by a primary law 
— the law of his God — to train his child aright. Such 
training involves the moral welfare of both parent 
and child, and to plead inability as an excuse for 
neglect, is just to make one sin the vindication of an- 
other. 

EXAMPLES. 

The remark is proverbial, that grace is not hered- 
itary. It cannot be transmitted from father to son 
like a name, or an earthly inheritance. Though there 
be truth in Matthew Henry's quaint remark, that " a 
family altar may be the best entail,'' it is no less true 
that that entail may be broken by some ungodly de- 
scendant. 



84 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



There are examples, however, in the history of the 
Church, where grace has descended from father to 
son, in a direct and unbroken line, even far beyond 
the third or the fourth generation. The case of Presi- 
dent Edwards has often been referred to in illustration 
of this truth. * Ranking as he did among the high- 
est and purest of intellects, he was not less conspicu- 
ous for godliness than for gifts. But what is more, 
he could count his descent through a great-great- 
grandfather, a great-grandfather, a grandfather, and 
a father, wlio were all conspicuous for godliness — 
some of them for suffering in the cause of truth, and 
all of them for making the Word of God their charter 
and their chart in life. Hor was the chain broken in 
the case of Edwards himself. It passed on to his 
descendants. Father and son in succession continued 
to enthrone God's truth in the heart as the rule of 
their life. In this manner, six generations at least 
have served God in the gospel of His Son ; and the 
world has seen in one example what grace and truth 
can do when fathers seek them for their children, or 
honor the Spirit of Wisdom as the Teacher at once 
of parent and of child. Is man faithful ? So is God. 
Is man perverse? Then, " with the froward, God 
shows himself froward.* 7 Fathers reap as they have 
sown. As they measure, it is meted to them again ; 
while there are cases not a few in which the gray 
hairs even of a godly parent have been brought in 
sorrow to the grave by the outbreak of ungodliness, 
that may often be traced to the neglect, the misman- 
agement, or the unwisdom of the father. 

* Anderson's "Domestic Constitution."' Part I., sec. 6. 



THE FATHER AT HOME. 



85 



But we have seen a father's influence put forth in a 
very different way. Death had invaded his home, 
and child after child was carried to the narrow house. 
That father felt and confessed the fear that he would 
yet be left alone in the world, though his family had 
been twelve in number. After one of the desolating 
blows, the surviving remnant resolved, with their 
mother, to erect a family altar, and nightly to gather 
round it, there to bow before Him whose arrows flew 
so fast, and struck so fatally. But was the father 
among that worshipping group? Did he lead their 
devotions ? Did he instruct them to " bear the rod ?" 
Did he warn them to prepare for what he feared was 
coming, and what actually came, without very long 
delay, to other two ? Ah, no ; but in various ways 
he showed that his heart was still untouched. The 
annoyance which he occasioned to the little worship- 
ping group was akin to persecution — he made it pain- 
fully plain that he cared not how soon the family 
altar became a neglected ruin. Such is the power of 
the world. It sours even a father's nature: it turns 
the protector into a persecutor, and instead of acting 
for God at the head of a home, such fathers repress, 
deaden, and destroy the souls of their children. 

Scarcely could we find a better illustration of a fa- 
ther's duty than occurred in the home of Oliver Crom- 
well. He has long been an incomprehensible riddle 
to men. Some have deemed him an arch-hypocrite, 
and others an arch-fanatic. Many have reckoned him 
a deep deceiver, who practised deception so long that 
he became at last the dupe of his own lie. But, in 
truth, all such verdicts upon Cromwell are the dictates 



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of ignorance in some, of incompetency in others. 
Judged by the ordinary standards, by which alone 
worldly politicians and as worldly historians can 
judge, the Protector is one of the greatest mysteries 
of all time. But tried by the truth of God, or seen 
in the light which it sheds, Cromwell is really no mys- 
tery at all. His true nature is seen in his home, 
where he was beloved as few have ever been. One 
who has profoundly fathomed his character, and who 
has done full justice to the Puritan, tells us that his 
whole family, and all beneath his roof, up to his wife 
and venerable mother, clung to him with a tender 
affection — all lived with him in singular harmony, 
" as noble a household as any in this our land of noble 
households."* Their love was an enthusiasm, their 
attachment a passion. Piety and affection, Christian 
grace and household virtue, knit them all together. 
If Cromwell was a partaker in one great crime — 
though multitudes deny that it was a crime at all — he 
fell as David did — as Peter did — as Cranmer did, and 
many more ; but in all the relations of life, as the 
ruler of a great kingdom, and the head of a house- 
hold, Oliver Cromwell stands insulated — all but 
alone, noble, if not royal, a God-made king, a Chris- 
tian. 

* Myers' " Lectures on Great Men." 



THE MOTHER AT HOME. 



87 



CHAPTER Yin. 

THE MOTHER AT HOME. 

The Morning and the Evening Star — Scripture — The Reign of Love— Responsibility 
— Weak Things confounding the Mighty — A Mother's Province — Her Honor — 
The Apollo — The Laocoon — Mingled Anguish and Joy— Godless Mothers — 
Worldly Mothers — Hyena Mothers — Ambitious Mothers — Ostrich Mothers — 
Godly Mothers — The Countess of Carberry — A Mother's Grief — Hope — A 
Time for Repentance — The Motherless — Examples — Alfred the Great — The 
Poet Gray — Dr. Doddridge — Lord Bacon — Sir Isaac Newton. 

It is true to nature, although it be expressed in a 
figurative form, that a mother is both the morning 
and the evening star of life. The light of her eve is 
always the first to rise, and often the last to set upon 
man's day of trial. She wields a power more decisive 
far than syllogisms in argument, or courts of last ap- 
peal in authority. Nay, in cases not a few, where 
there has been no fear of God before the eyes of the 
young — where His love has been unfelt and His law 
outraged, a mother's affection or her tremulous tender- 
ness has held transgressors by the heart-strings, and 
been the means of leading them back to virtue and 
to God. 

At the outset of this section, we are warned by 
the faithful and the true Witness, in many portions 
of His Word, that the mother, for the most part, de- 
cides the character of the son. For example, was the 
life of Samuel long and devout ? Was he early a holy 
child, and honored to work for God? That stands 
connected with the significant fact, that the mother 



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of that boy had said — " As long as he liveth, he shall 
be lent to the Lord." The surrender of that believing 
mother's heart was ratified in heaven, and proved a 
blessing to her as well as to succeeding generations. 

On the other hand, was Rehoboam a foolish king ? 
Did his conduct at length rend his kingdom in twain I 
The Word of God explains these things by saying, 
" His mother's name was i^aamah, an Ammonitess." 
That is, she was an idolater, and he was habituated to 
idolatry and its maxims in youth. Rehoboam, on 
a throne, was hence prepared to be a scourge to his 
kingdom. 

Or did Amaziah " do that which was right in the 
sight of the Lord?" Then his mother is said to have 
been of Jerusalem. She was trained there in the 
truth, and, like other Jewish mothers who had felt 
its power, she succeeded in planting that truth in the 
heart of her son. 

Or farther. The name of Hezekiah is closely linked 
with that of his mother, Abi. The same is true of 
Josiah, of Jehoiakim, and others, both wicked and 
righteous, among the kings of the J ews ; and if we 
are to learn, not merely from what the Scriptures say, 
but often also from the connection in which they say 
it, there are both warnings and encouragements con- 
tained in such brief allusions to a mother's ascendency 
and povver. 

The secret of her influence is this — a mother's reign 
is pre-eminently one of love — 

" Here woman reigns : the mother, daughter, wife, 
Strew with fresh flowers the narrow vale of life. 
In the calm heaven of her delightful eye, 
An angel guard of loves and graces lie.' 1 



THE MOTHER AT HOME. 



S9 



With such power for her sceptre, she can sway and 
mould ; she can repress and encourage ; she can 
build up or destroy — next to Omnipotence, hers is the 
strongest moral influence known upon earth. By her 
quick intuition she is 

u Ready to detect 
The latent seeds of evil : to encourage 
All better tastes and feelings, and to fling 
So bright a radiance o'er a life of virtue 
That children seek it as God's glorious gift." 

As the prophet spread himself upon the body of the 
dead child, applying limb to limb till life returned, a 
mother can take man's whole nature under her con- 
trol. She thus becomes what she has been called, 
"The Divinity of Infancy." Her smile is its sun- 
shine, her word its mildest law, until sin and the 
world have steeled the heart. She can shower around 
her the most genial of all influences, and from the 
time when she first laps her little one in Elysium by 
clasping him to her bosom — " its first paradise" — to 
the moment when that child is independent of her 
aid, or perhaps, like Washington, directs the destinies 
of millions, her smile, her word, her wish, is an in- 
spiring force. A sentence of encouragement or praise 
is a joy for a day. It spreads light upon all faces, 
and renders a mother's power more and more charm- 
like, as surely as ceaseless accusing, rebuking, and 
correcting, chafes, sours, and "disgusts. So intense is 
her power that the mere remembrance of a praying 
mother's hand, laid on the head in infancy, has held 
back a son from guilt when passion had waxed strong. 
By its gentle violence on the side of what is good and 
true, it has prompted the words — 



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" 0 say, amid the wilderness of life, 
What bosom would have throbbed like thine for me ? 
Who would have smiled responsive ? Who in grief 
Would ere have felt, or, feeling, grieve like thee ?" 

The plastic power wliicli is thus placed in a mother's 
hands, no doubt involves a tremendous responsibility, 
but when guided by heavenly wisdom for heavenly 
ends, it can do every thing but make us new creatures 
in Christ, Science has sometimes tried to teach us 
that if a pebble be cast into the sea on any shore, the 
effects are felt though not perceived by man, over the 
whole area of the ocean. Or, more wonderful still, 
science has tried to show that the effects of all the 
sounds ever uttered by man or beast, or caused by in- 
animate things, are still floating in the air : its pres- 
ent state is just the aggregate result of all these 
sounds ; and if these things be true, they furnish an 
emblem of the effects produced by a mother's power 
— effects which stretch into eternity, and operate there 
forever, in sorrow or in joy. Every word or every 
look is a power, as every drop augments the flood. 

True, a mother's look, a smile, or word may seem 
small and insignificant, yet who that reflects will 
acquiesce in the opinion? Is it little to fashion an 
immortal spirit after a heavenly model ? Is it a little 
thing to develop infant powers, and bring to light all 
that seems hidden in the soul, to train the ear by 
sweet sounds, the eye by lovely colors ? Is it a little 
thing to teach the use of what is, perhaps, the most 
wondrous gift of God, next to existence and a Sav- 
iour, namely, language, and form what is emphati- 
cally called our mother tongue ? Is it a little thing 



THE MOTHER AT HOME. 



91 



to notice the first articulate utterance, or rather to 
create and call it forth? Is it little, in short, to get 
from God an immortal being, not merely in a state of 
nonage^ but utterly helpless, so that, if forsaken, it 
would hasten to die, and to stamp on it the love of 
the noble, the heavenly, the pure, as a Christian 
mother will ever seek to do ? Were things seen 
in the light of eternity, or judged by the standard 
of the sanctuary, these would seem engrossments 
enough for the most intense activity, or gratification 
enough for the most soaring ambition — and all these 
are placed by God in the hands of a mother. All 
that influence she may wield, if only she take the 
will of God to guide her, and lean upon His power 
to sustain. 

" The glow-worm, though itself unseen, 
Glads with the lustre of its tiny lamp 
Its little neighborhood of blade and flower;" 

and in like manner, the humblest Christian mother 
may radiate joy around her. " Her face is the first 
object on which her child's wandering eye learns com- 
placently to settle : her tones lull it to repose, and 
mingle with its dreams — with its being. Her eye 
discourses with its infant mind, while yet words are 
to it mere inarticulate sounds. Her every movement 
gives to it a new sensation. And thus, at the mo- 
ment of its birth, its education begins, and from that 
moment never knows a pause.' '* 

Xow, when reason and conscience control this as- 

* See '"Patriarchy," by Dr. Harris, p. 200. There are many ex- 
quisitely beautiful allusions to a mother's power scattered throughout 
that volume. 



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THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



cendency, and not mere blind affection, the blessings 
are unspeakable. Such a mother will enter into her 
little one's sports, yet repress his waywardness — will 
tenderly anticipate every want, or screen the opening 
bud, yet judiciously incline or mould the whole to 
favor the pure and the good. The glaring errors 
which one often witnesses on the part of mothers 
in their flattering, their pampering, their neglecting 
their children, lessen our wonder when we see home 
unhappy.* But that does not diminish a mother's 
power, whether it be wielded for good or for ill. 

It is beautiful exceedingly to gaze upon the Apollo 
Belvidere ; and, standing before that wonderful crea- 
tion, one feels awed by the genius which evoked such 
loveliness from marble. Before the statue of Laocoon, 
one is scarcely less riveted, so completely do the 
agonizing father, and his agonized boys, tell of the 
depth, the reality, and the hopelessness of their woe. 
And yet what are these, what are all the effects pro- 
duced by mortal power, or taste, or skill, compared 
with the moulding of an immortal spirit { It may 
seem a paltry power, or a paltry achievement ; but 
"as the small pebble stirs the peaceful lake." that 
power stirs unfathomed depths, and spreads unending 
influences — the waves which it diffuses reach no shore 
forever. Xapoleon Bonaparte once asked a lady what 
France required for the right education of its youth — 
and the answer was as profound as it was laconic, 
" Mothers/' How different would the history of 
that noble country have been had mothers indeed 
abounded there I 

* See examples in Abbot's M Mother at Home." chap. y. 



THE MOTHER AT HOME. 



93 



It thus appears, without further explanations, that 
nearly all depends upon the mother in regard to the 
character and the effects of home. Her love is sun- 
shine, her grief is like fire to wax. Neither the Chris- 
tian ministry, with all that is hallowing in it, nor 
schools, nor universities, nor paternal authority, can 
compete with her in plastic power. There may be 
more of the glare of publicity in other scenes, but the 
silent, ceaseless, dewy influence of a mother's eye, and 
voice, and love is unrivalled upon earth. But we re- 
peat it — a power so transcendant involves a responsi- 
bility which is unspeakable ; and the mother who is 
alive to that will watch unto prayer for ways to do 
good. Has a death happened in her home? Then 
how deep or how thrilling are the lessons which it 
teaches through her weeping eye and tender tones ! 
Has some member of the family been restored to 
health ? Then how full is her heart, how numerous 
are her lessons concerning the loving-kindness of the 
Lord ! That is Christian religion displayed by a 
Christian mother ; and she who watches thus will 
have souls for her hire.* 

No doubt, the deepest love of a mother is not sel- 
dom trod upon by the turbulent and the licentious. 
Her highest influence may be all set at nought, and 
then her sorrow and her suffering are such as a 
stranger cannot comprehend. Withal, however, the 

* We knew a father who carried his son to the summit of a hill to 
show him a noble prospect, and he knelt down with him in the centre 
of that glory to thank a heavenly Father for it and for all. We know 
some friends who went to visit a remarkable scene. They were so 
much struck that they knelt down upon the spot and praised. Now 
that is Christianity embodied in life and action. 



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THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



influence of a godly mother spreads like daylight 
over life ; it checks where it cannot wholly rescue ; 
it hampers when it cannot save. "My mother 
would talk to me, and weep as she talked," said a 
bold sinner. "I flung out of the house with an 
oath, but wept, too, when I got into the street. 
Sympathy is the powerful engine of a mother. I 
was desperate. I would go on board a privateer, but 

there are soft moments to such desperadoes " 

"Weeds deadly as the aconite" may thus grow in 
spite of utmost care, and then the heart may some- 
times feel as if it would like to break. But as her 
reward, each mother can take one or more of the 
great human family under her control. When nature 
is most pliable and most easily impressed, she can 
impress it so well that the sum of all the good which 
exists at any given time may be viewed as the result 
of all the hallowing influences put forth by the 
mothers of the age. To increase the number of such 
mothers the Word of God is both ample and explicit 
in its details. The picture drawn in the last section 
of the book of Proverbs should be copied in every 
line, nay, in every touch of the heavenly pencil, by 
every mother who loves her household, or who would 
be blessed and made a blessing. 

But all that has been advanced will be unavailing 
if the heart and life of the mother be not pervaded 
by godliness — if her own temper be not that of a 
Christian — decided, loving, meek. It is the godly 
mother that can seize upon the happy moment for 
implanting truth. It is the godly mother that can 
best penetrate all sinister plans. It is she that can 



THE MOTHER AT HOME. 



95 



best mix up religion with all else that is done and 

said, so as to make it neither a tax nor a trine. It is 

she that can offer the prayer which the youngest can 

comprehend. It is she that can time all, and rule all, 

by that sceptre which is wreathed with silk — the 

sceptre of " love unfeigned. 7 ' A father may awe. a 

mother must win the soul to godliness — 

. . . . " She is a priestess, and her shrine 
Is an immortal spirit." 

It must be confessed, however, that such a picture 
as is here presented must often seem overcharged. 

There are godless mothers, who train up their chil- 
dren to sin and shame. 

There are deceitful mothers, who rule their children 
by deception ; who lead them to obedience by false 
promises, or scare them by superstitious threats ; and 
mothers of this class are ignorantly destroying in 
their little ones the distinction between right and 
wrong, or between the true and the false. 

Then there are worldly mothers, whose highest 
wishes for their children are embodied in the ques- 
tions — " What shall they eat I what shall they drink \ 
or wherewithal shall they be clothed P 3 

And there are ambitious mothers, who resemble 
her who came to Jesus seeking seats on his right hand 
and his left for her sons. They desire only wealth, 
or power, or pomp, and circumstance, while yet their 
vaulting desires are blindly bounded by a cradle upon 
the one hand, and a grave upon the other. 

There are ostrich mothers, who leave their young 
untended and untaught, morally to perish by neglect. 

There are hypena mothers, who actually destroy 



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their offspring, or at least train them for destruction, 
as the mothers of Feejee inured their little ones to 
cannibal life by giving them human blood to lap, or 
human muscles to masticate. 

And there are foolish mothers, who pamper and 
fondle their children; who corrupt the very objects 
of their affection by their method of rearing them, as 
if they would verify the adage — "The greatest fool is 
he whom his mother makes one. " But such kindness 
is cruelty. By a foolish sympathy, mothers may 
screen their fondling from the correction which is 
deserved, but their caresses too surelv nurse the wav- 
wardness which the rod should expel. 

In a word, there are mothers who ruin their chil- 
dren's souls — whose example, whose engagements, 
whose words, whose companions, whose pleasures, are 
all of the earth, earthy. While a child confides in 
such a mother without fear, and copies her example 
without a doubt, she is poisoning the young immor- 
tal — and Satan has no more powerful or more like- 
minded ally than a parent thus employed. The 
disgusting shape which poetry assigns to the Temp- 
ter, while pouring his temptations into the ear of the 
dreaming Eve — " squat on his legs like a toad," is not 
more offensive or revolting than the conduct of such 
a mother while ruining the souls of her sons and 
daughters. She forfeits glory for herself, and robs 
her children of theirs. 

But there are also godly mothers, whom Jeremy 
Taylor describes, when he says of the Countess 01 
Carberry : " If we remember her as a mother, she was 
kind yet severe, careful, and prudent — very tender, 



THE MOTHER AT HOME, 



97 



but not at all fond ; a greater lover of her children's 
souls than of their bodies ; and one that would value 
them more by the strict rules of honor and proper 
worth than by their relation to herself." And the 
influence of such a mother does not die with her — 
nay, it operates as a power after she is mouldering in 
the dust, and it is by such models that the noblest 
specimens of humanity have been trained. In their 
case, reason guides affection; the mind of God is 
more consulted than even a mother's heart, and the 
result is seen in men of unflinching principle, who 
stand as a bulwark against corruption in every form. 
They have often confronted the oppressor, and dared 
all peril rather than connive at any crime, for they 
would sin against a mother's memory did they sin at 
all. Her prayers for them, when no ear heard but 
God's and theirs — prayers mingled perhaps with 
many tears — hover round them like guardian angels ; 
and when they would enter on paths of shame, such 
memories are transformed into flaming swords. 

But in glancing at a mother's position in our 
homes, we should not overlook the sorrows to which 
she is often exposed. A mother mourning by the 
grave of her first-born is a spectacle of woe. A 
mother watching the palpitating frame of her child, 
as life ebbs slowly away, must evoke the sympathy 
of the sternest. A mother closing the dying eye of 
child after child, till it seems as if she were to be left 
alone in the world again, is one of the saddest sights 
of earth : when the cradle-song passes into a dirge, 
the heart is laden indeed. And a widowed mother 
hearing her little ones cry for bread, when she has no 

5 



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THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



bread to give them, is agony untold. But at present, 
we do not refer to the inroads of ruthless death. 
These are directly from the hand of God, and they 
can be endured, sometimes eyen with joy, when He 
imparts strength. We speak rather of the moral 
death which a mother may be doomed to witness in 
the objects of her keen solicitude. There are sons 
who can hasten forward to their darling sins oyer a 
mother's crushed heart and lacerated feelings. She 
can work wonders by her deep affection, but she is 
not a match for the loye of iniquity, when wayward 
youth is bent on eyil ; and the most bitter of all 
griefs, the most remediless of all woe, when only man 
attempts to soothe it, is the misery of her who thus 
weeps for the suicidal courses of some thoughtless 
son who listens to the tempter and will not be with- 
stood. 

Or we might here adyert again to the misery of 
being unequally yoked, when the mother is the be- 
lieyer. If the unhappy wife was deceiyed in forming 
the union, her burden is comparatively light — though 
trials abound, her God will sustain her. But if she 
entered into the union, knowing that her partner-elect 
was not a man of God, she is reaping as she sowed, 
and the fruit is like the apples of Sodom. She loves 
the souls of her children, but an unholy husband and 
father may be driving or decoying them to ruin ; and 
the sore burden of that, has made many a mother 
prematurely aged — it has helped to hurry some to the 
grave. Withal, however, we would say, let not tried 
mothers, if they be godly mothers, ever despair. Is 
it the husband's conduct that occasions grief? Let 



THE MOTHER AT HOME. 



99 



meekness be opposed to injury, and calmness to pas- 
sion. Let the children be taught to respect even such 
a father — to be dutiful, affectionate, and childlike. 
If Home be thus made happy, it may allure the 
wanderer back to affection. At all events, that end 
will never be accomplished by outrage or crimination. 

Or is it a son who creates a mother's grief? Still 
let her hope. A time of repentance may come. The 
arrow which love has fixed in the conscience may be 
rankling, though its pain be braved for a time ; the 
apparent boldness may be only affectation, and a sur- 
render may be near. When Richard Cecil, in the 
days of his infidelity, seemed rushing upon ruin, in 
spite of a Christian mother's tears and prayers, he 
afterward confessed that what seemed bravery was 
only bravado ; there was something in his soul which 
made him afraid of himself, and it has been the same 
with manv besides him. He wrote — " The thoughts 
of a mother's prayer, and the recollection of her 
admonitions, often checked me in my wildest career 
of sin, though she knew it not. I concealed my feel- 
ings from her I have wondered that her 

patience was not worn out with me ; but no ! hers 
was a mother's love. At length I yielded, and 
hastened home to tell her what God had done for my 

poor soul She wept and rejoiced over me. 

We bowed around the family altar together and 
poured out our souls in prayer and praise." " What 
would I give," exclaims another, " to call my mother 
back to earth for one day, on my knees to ask pardon 
for all those little asperities of temper which from 
time to time had given her gentle spirit pain !" The 



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THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



inward judge and monitor, the viceroy of heaven, 
tracks the thoughtless wanderer amid all his ways, 
and he must sink deep indeed before he can forget 
her whose smile was his first sun, whose words were 
his first music. When his sins have found him out 
at last, or when Nemesis speaks, as sooner or later 
she will, one of the most articulate utterances which 
conscience hears is, " Thy Mother !" Though far dis- 
tant from the earth, we know that the moon, by her 
silent influences, stirs our ocean through all its depths, 
and produces effects which the wildest typhoon could 
not rival. Now a mother's memory may accomplish 
similar results. A son may be separated from her by 
the earth's diameter, or she may have crossed the 
gulf whose farther side is eternity. But her mem- 
ory lives — her prayers are on high — her works will 
follow her; and in the faith of that, be it the dying 
charge of every mother to her children — " Be sure to 
meet me in heaven !" 

There is one suggestion more. Perhaps the saddest 
sentence that can fall upon the ear regarding any 
child is — " He has no mother; she is dead!" It 
comes like a voice from the sepulchre, and involves 
the consummation of all the sorrows that can befall 
the young. In that condition they are deprived of 
their most tender comforter, and their wisest counsel- 
lor. They are left a prey to a thousand temptations 
or a thousand ills, and freed from the restraint of one 
who could curb without irritating, or guide without 
affecting superiority. Now will mothers live with 
their children as if they were thus to leave them in a 
cold and an inhospitable world? Will they guide 



THE MOTHER AT HOME. 



101 



their little ones to Him who is pre-eminently the God 
of the orphan, and who inspired his servant to say — 
" Though father and mother forsake me, the Lord will 
take me up ?" It is thus that the motherless are 
linked to the sympathies of Him who said concerning 
his people — U A mother may forget her child, yet will 
not I forget you." 

EXAMPLES. 

TVe might appeal to a crowd of additional cases in 
illustration of a mother's power. Alfred the Great 
ranks among the most royal of the British kings. 
"When his age, his opportunities, and his enlarged 
views of legislation and kingly power are considered, 
he is unquestionably one of the most wonderful men 
of all the past. Now it is to his mother's sagacity 
and tact that we owe his acquirements.* The author 
of the " Elegy written in a Country Churchyard" once 
said, " I have discovered a thing very little known, 
which is, that in one's whole life one can never have 
more than a single mother" — and when that mother 
is like-minded with the mother of Alfred the Great — ■ 
so sagacious, so far-seeing and devout — she may prove 
a benefactress to a soul, a household, a country, and 
all time.f 

* See Anderson's " Domestic Constitution," Part L, section 5. 

f The feelings of Gray toward his mother were singularly deep. 
After Ms death her wearing apparel was found carefully laid up in his 
apartment, just as she had left it. He could never make up his mind 
to part with the relics, and gave them away only by will. Her mem- 
ory was always fragrant to him and thirteen years after her death he 
said : " It seems to have been but yesterday, and every day I live it 
sinks deeper and deeper into my heart/' Those who have felt the 



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THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



But one example may suffice for all. From the 

days of Lois and Eunice down to those of Monica, 
and from the days of Monica to those of William 
Cowper, and a crowd in recent times, the maternal 
ascendency may be traced in the histories of the good 
and the great. But from one learn all. There is a 
mother, obviously a foreigner, busily employed in one 
of the homes of England in teaching her twentieth 
child. He is too feeble for the task-work of book- 
learning, for he w T as laid aside as lifeless at his birth. 
He has been spared, however, and ingenious affection 
has found a substitute for books. Part of that home 
was decorated in the Dutch fashion, w T ith tiles upon 
which scriptural scenes were depicted, and these tiles 
became the primers from which that feeble child was 
taught by his mother, a Bohemian by birth. It was 
Dr. Doddridge who was thus instructed. The author 
of " The Rise and Progress of Religion in the Soul," 
was thus trained to be the spiritual father of many in 
all the churches and in every land. About his thir- 
teenth year, he lost that godly mother, but he never 
lost the knowledge which she had been the means of 
conveying, nor the impressions which were blessed to 
make him a master in Israel, and that Bohemian exile 
thus bequeathed to posterity a legacy more precious 
than the Koh-i-noor. 

It would be pleasant, but superfluous, to dwell at 
length upon other cases of maternal power — to tell, 
for instance, of the mother of Lord Bacon, whose les- 

strong love which links a son to a mother will be prepared, in some 
measure, to say how much of Gray's genius may be traced to the in- 
spiration of his mother. 



THE MOTHER AT HOME. 



103 



sons and example first moulded tlie mind of Edward 
VI., and then of lier illustrious son, who so revered 
her memory that he wished to be buried in her grave. 
Or of the mother of one yet greater than Bacon, Sir 
Isaac Newton, who studiously devoted her best en- 
deavors to lead him into the truth, and to stablish 
him there. Or of the mother of John Newton, who 
assiduously watched unto prayer, that she might train 
her son in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. 
Or of a great crowd besides, who, by their painstaking 
and their prayers, have given to the world some of 
its leaders and its lights in the upward way. But 
enough ; and with such examples before the mind, let 
mothers realize their position ; let them know their 
own power for good or for ill, and appeal to the only 
wise God to make them mothers indeed — mothers to 
souls whom they are guiding to the Redeemer's fold. 

You have a little one upon your knee — we speak as 
to a mother— r-and he is the light of your eyes ; you 
live two lives at once when he is near ; and what do 
you design to make him — we mean his soul ? Its des- 
tinj depends mainly upon you — is he, then, to be a 
blessing or a bane ? Is he to be a child of destruction 
or an heir of glory ? Be assured that in the little 
heart of what you call your " innocent," there lie 
folded up, and ready to germinate, the seeds and ele- 
ments of all sin. But you can- nip them. Will you ? 
You can administer the divine antidote. Will you do 
it, and look up for the blessing ? — or will you let your 
little one die among your hands of the uncured spirit- 
ual malady ? Surely, never. Rather, you will live 
in communion with the great Teacher, and he will 



104 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME, 



give success to your lessons, and show that " a prayer- 
ful spirit is a mother's panoply." We know that you 
cannot convert your child : that is in the hands of the 
all-wise and sovereign Spirit. But, still, it is true re- 
garding him, 

" His heart, now passive, yields to thy command, 
Secure it, then, the key is in thy hand." 

It is not more certain that his body is fearfully and 
wonderfully made, than that you can largely influence 
his soul and his eternity ; and as the great God has 
been pleased to unite certain blessings with the be- 
lieving use of certain means, you can cry for these 
blessings. Oh, do it then — and see two souls pros- 
pering — your own, and your child's. Neglect it — and 
we see nothing before you but sorrow. Place your 
hand, it has been said, over your little child's heart, 
and feel how rapidly it beats. Now, each beat is a 
development. It is hastening on unspeakable results. 
Will you guide, then, to blessedness, or let Satan mis- 
lead to woe ? 

Hitherto we have pointed to the duties of a father 
and a mother in their separate and peculiar spheres, 
but let us now consider them in the exercise of a com- 
bined influence, where two are only one, but one with 
a moral power second only to that of the transforming 
Spirit. 



HELPMATES AT HOME. 



105 



CHAPTER Yin. 

HELPMATES AT HOME. 

Husband and "Wife — Man's Position at Home — Woman's — Eden— The Family Con- 
stitution — Its Violation — Ezra's Complaint — Malachi's — National Distemper — 
The Converse — The Saviour and the Church — The Model and The Law of 
Obedience — The Weakest the most cared for — Light in the Dwelling — Prece- 
dence — The Sun and Moon — Family Separations — " The Graves of a House- 
hold" — Consolation — The Cataract of Telino— Examples — The Judsons — Row- 
land Hill — Mrs. Hemans. 

There is frequently a valuable moral lesson con- 
veyed in the meaning of a single word. Husband, 
for example, is Homeland, for lie binds or unites the 
family into one : his dissolution often breaks up the 
whole. Wife, again, is connected with the words 
weave, and weft, and speaks of thrift and careful 
housewifery. In this manner, the Saxon forefathers, 
who gave us our manly language as well as many 
other blessings, tell us in general of the duties of hus- 
band and wife. It is his to watch over all as their 
guardian under God ; it is hers by painstaking to look 
well to the inner condition of her household, 

" That like some gentle planet, she may run 
Along the silent course of duty's round." 

But more than this. Poetry, at once the most lofty 
and the most lowly, delights to expatiate upon these 
relations. "With the single exception of war and its 
ravages, more poetry has been written upon subjects 
connected with home's joys and its sorrows, than upon 

5* 



106 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



any topic which could be named. In a single line, 
Milton has told the whole truth regarding the relation 
between the two whom God has made one. 

" He for God only, she for God in him," 
is the human form of expressing the inspired senti- 
ment — " The husband is the head of the wife, as 
Christ is the head of the Church." 

And this truth comes out in all its vividness in the 
earliest records of our race, for Adam w T as not com- 
plete till Eve was created. Eden was less than Eden 
needed to be, while it contained only one rational and 
living occupant ; and He who has the residue of the 
Spirit accordingly formed the second as the comple- 
ment of the first. Co-operation, or sympathy, was 
needed ere the social being, man, could find his whole 
nature responded to— and hence the family constitu- 
tion arose. According to it, the two made one are to 
regulate all their proceedings in perfect harmony with 
each other, because in perfect harmony with the mind 
of God. There is to be no counteracting nor counter- 
plotting within the sacred precincts of Home. In 
rearing a godly offspring the two are to be the foster- 
parents of the children of God.* Precept and exam- 
ple are to be in unison. The pair are to be both 
mutually consistent and self-consistent. They are, in 
truth, the right hand and the left of that social system 
of which Jehovah is the Head, and with one heart 
and one soul they are to carry out the purposes of 
Him in whom they have their being. Just as the 
first woman was formed from the first man, so that 
their frames were identical in substance, their minds 

*Mal. ii. 15. 



HELPMATES AT HOME. 



107 



are to be one in aim, because in unison with the will 
of God over all. Their Home is to be the Eden of 
Eden, the brightest and most beauteous spot among 
the scenes whose very name means " Delights." The 
first pair occupied the Holy of Holies in God's august 
temple — the globe, but, alas ! how different the style 
of man's home soon became from the Great Archi- 
tect's type ! 

Eor mark the misery which has followed in the 
wake of sin. By God's grace, there are happy homes. 
His truth is enthroned by some helpmates ; and fami- 
lies love not merely as earthly kindred, but as sus- 
taining a more permanent relation — they are all " one 
in Christ." In many a home its inmates can mutually 
say— 

" Round my heart I will assemble 

Things and thoughts beloved of thee, 
Till each wish and taste resemble 
Those that in thy bosom be." 

But, on the other hand, the sight is sad and sickening 
when one parent trains the child to disobey the other 
— when the one inculcates what the other erases — or 
when the passion of the father is counteracted only 
by the fond and the blind partiality of the mother. 
The spirit which sprang up in Adam's home, and 
which led to the first murder, the first fratricide, the 
first martyrdom, all in one, is thus perpetuated, and 
instead of being helpmates amid " the charm of music- 
laden hours," such pairs are mutually sources of sor- 
row. Home becomes the abode of tumult, not of 
peace. Faults are unwisely concealed, or sinfully de- 
nied, or boldly defended — and a nursery of fraud and 



103 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



deception is often found where the nurture and ad- 
monition of the Lord should be regulating all. 

Nor need we wonder at such results. The Saviour 
obviously designed the family constitution to be a 
grand moving power in promoting his kingdom. He 
set woman in her proper place, and for the first time 
since Adam's fall, were all her rights recognized in 
full and perfect harmony with the mind of God. But 
the Saviour's purpose was counterplotted, and ill- 
sorted unions with ungodly families were largely 
employed as the means. Ezra once rent his garments, 
plucked off his hair, and sat down in a paroxysm of 
grief because of such unions among his countrymen,^ 
and the last of the prophets has in like manner given 
us some touching accounts of the sad results of such 
marriages. Instead of carrying out the purposes of 
the domestic constitution, the hearts of parents were 
estranged from their children, and of children from 
their parents. Altars were covered with weeping. 
Wailing and outcry from forsaken wives resounded 
through the streets of Jerusalem. The nation hast- 
ened to ruin, and proved by its degeneracy, on a 
nation-wide scale, what is sure to follow, in spite of 
God's holiest appointments, when those who should 
be helpmates become mutual tormentors, or when 
husbands first crush and then forsake the wives whom 
they had vowed to love, to shelter, and defend. 

And it is too often still the same. Where hearts 
are not knit to kindred hearts by common likings and 
a God-made union, there can be no blessedness : there 
is woe : there are some of the most bitter ingredients 

* Ezra ix. 3. 



HELPMATES AT HOME. 



109 



in the curse. In truth, in some abodes, those who 
should dwell together in unity feel the society of each 
other to be irksome. Like Madame de Stael and her 
husband, they are more happy when apart than when 
together, and Home is gladly deserted for some place 
of public resort — perhaps of revelry or crime. Sul- 
lenness reigns where all should be sunny. The will of 
God is reversed : His Spirit is grieved : and unless 
some wondrous change be wrought, happiness has 
forsaken that abode for ever. 

But in contemplating this sad aspect of man's con- 
dition upon earth, we are never to lose sight of the 
Homes where helpmates are helpmates indeed. The 
joy is doubled while sorrow is divided into two. Per- 
plexity is counselled : doubt is dissipated : tempta- 
tion is repelled : blessedness is advanced. As face 
answers to face in a glass, soul there corresponds to 
soul, and the result is strength, energy, moral beauty, 
and all that can gladden a human Home. While the 
mother chiefly guides and regulates the affections, the 
father, like the balance-wheel in machinery, presides 
over the whole social system. He is the keystone or 
the burden-bearer ; and thus upheld, the strain which 
would annihilate the peace of some, scarcely ruffles 
the serenity of such abodes. Nay more ; where some 
crushing trial has paralyzed the energies of the hus- 
band, the wife, the weaker of the two, sometimes 
stands erect amid the tempest. She becomes the 
protector amid peril, the pilot amid the storm, or 
does for the household what the electric rod does 
for the building which supports it, and which it in 
return defends. " Homeward to her who loves and 



110 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



blesses him" thus, should the heart of man ever turn 
with feelings allied to reverence. 

And the foundation of all this is laid deep in God's 
eternal truth. We have already seen that the em- 
blem selected to represent the union of husband and 
wife is the union of Christ and his Church ;* and by 
placing that relation upon such a basis, it is both dig- 
nified and hallowed. Strength supporting weakness, 
and weakness reposing upon strength, should appear 
in every home, and just as the confiding soul rests on 
the Redeemer without a doubt, should the wife repose 
upon her head, as, under God, her guardian and her 
friend. Homes are then blessed, and God's purposes 
and glory are alike advanced. The pair, 

"With knitted hands, and loving hearts may tread 
Unscathed life's rugged wild, and reach at last 
The heavenly hills, and everlasting rest." 

It is a lovely trait in parental affection that the 
weakest member of a family is ever the most ten- 
derly cared for. There may be disease, or even some- 
thing to repel the fastidious ; nay, there may be moral 
delinquencies ; yet it often happens that these very 
weaklings draw toward themselves a more tender or 
more weeping care ; and this is the benevolent ar- 
rangement of God at once to alleviate parental trials, 
and supply a solace to sorrow. Now, in the same 
way should there be tenderness displayed from help- 
mate to helpmate when failings exist. The strong 
ought to bear with the weak. ~No proud recrimina- 
tion ; no flashing resentment against anything but sin 
in a Christian Home ; and by such a spirit are the 

* Ephes. v. 22-33. 



HELPMATES AT HOME. 



Ill 



great objects of the domestic constitution to be 
wrought out. With the Divine model in view, 
and the Divine will to guide them in aiming at the 
appointed result, such helpmates will bear each 
other's burdens, and soothe each other's sorrows. 
They will carry out the quaint but truthful words 
of Matthew Henry — u Eve was made of a rib out 
of the side of Adam — not made out of his head to top 
him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, 
but out of his side to be equal with him, under his 
arm to be protected, and near his heart to be be- 
loved." "Xothing will be tolerated in such a Home 
winch would lead the children to choose a side, or be- 
come partisans. Wisely consulting the Counsellor, 
and often resorting to his throne, there will be light 
in that dwelling when others are dark — a light which 
shines from heaven, and guides the wayfarer thither. 
A word, a look, may increase the child's bias to evil, 
or rivet what might otherwise have been loosened, 
and against that word or that look will wise and 
godly helpmates live upon their guard. 

Such counsels, however, would be valueless, did we 
not emphatically add that the grand source of har- 
mony is the Standard Mind — the Word of God. His 
Spirit in the heart, the blood of sprinkling upon the 
conscience, the Prince of Peace presiding, will soon 
cut off "the little foxes which spoil the vines," and 
counteract the selfishness which is sometimes apt to 
break forth even in Christian homes, so as to mar 
their beauty, or dishonor the truth. 

But which of the helpmates should take precedence? 
We answer, neither. They walk abreast, if love and 



112 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



wisdom guide them. Each parent has a proper 
sphere of influence, and they belie the name of 
helpmates if they arrogate or demand, instead of 
mutually aiding and upholding. Philip Henry'often 
argued, that the mother should lead the family devo- 
tions from time to time, that she might be prepared 
to conduct them in the father's absence, or in the 
event of his being summoned away by death. His 
quaint illustration was, that it was pleasant to see the 
moon rising just as the sun went down; and that 
may decide the question — which parent should have 
the precedence ? It is not an affair of precedence at 
all. The divine order makes them helpmates — not 
rivals or antagonists. Each is the other's second 
self ; and as the sun does not intrude into the prov- 
ince of the moon, nor the reverse, there should be no 
jarring and no contention in a home. The only pro- 
voking should be to love and to good works. When 
decisions must be given, the head, of course, is to give 
them ; for it is true as well as beautiful — 

"Adorned 
She was indeed, and lovely, to attract 
Thy love, not thy subjection, and her gifts 
Were such as, under government well seemed 
Unseemly to bear rule, which was thy part." 

The infringement of these principles at first occa- 
sioned the fall — and the infringement of them again 
repeats it in our homes — in sin as well as sorrow. 

It is well, however, to reinforce these conclusions 
by all available means. Families, then, sooner or 
later, break up. They cannot always nestle round 
the same parent pair ; and when some of them are 



HELPMATES AT HOME. 



113 



gone perhaps to the grave — perhaps to this world's 
extremity, what is it that can soothe or sustain be- 
reaved helpmates ? Take your stand by " the graves 
of a household." All — all perhaps are gone to the 
Spirit-land, and what is it that can soothe the child- 
less parents ? Can family jarrings minister consola- 
tion ? As sorrow after sorrow transfixes the sonl, can 
the remembrance of feuds and alienations dry the 
tears which flow % Nay ; they can only deepen the 
wound, or make it more profusely bleed. It is the 
thought of the young trained as the Father who is in 
heaven has commanded, that can alleviate the pain. 
It is the hope that the Lamb of God had become the 
joy of the soul, that reconciles a weeping parent to 
the thought of so many graves. Like the cataract 
of the Velino, whose waters are dashed to vapor by 
their fall, and become 

" an eternal April to the ground, 

Making it all one emerald," 

the very tears of such helpmates may tend at last to 
gladden and invigorate the soul of the believer. 
Many a stricken mother, in such a case, has been 
enabled to lift her heart from earth to heaven — from 
the fleeting shadow to the enduring reality. The Son 
of God has filled up the blank, and more ; and the 
hope has grown bright, that though dissevered here, 
the mother and her child will be united hereafter. 
She has one tie less to earth, and one tie more to 
heaven, and trusts through grace to mingle her 
hymns with her child's before the throne forever. 



114 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



EXAMPLES. 

We might gather illustrations of these views from 
many sources. Adoniram Judson, and Anne Hassel- 
tine, his wife, were the first Christian missionaries to 
Burmah ; and in laying the foundations of truth in 
that dark land, they encountered difficulties and hard- 
ships such as few, even among Christian mission- 
aries, have endured in modern times. For the sake 
of the Saviour, for whom they lived and died, their 
lives and their liberty were often put in jeopardy, that 
they might point the dying to hope. Atheism walked 
hand in hand with debasing superstition among the 
Burmese. Despotism on the throne, aided by all 
that is tyrannical in subordinate rulers, obliged the 
Judsons to hold their lives in their hands, ready to 
surrender them, or else to abandon the work which 
they believed God had given them to do. And the 
day of dreaded oppression came. Their works of faith 
began to be crowned with success. Superstition took 
alarm, for souls were saved. Despotism was offended, 
for freedom was asserted at least for the soul, and 
vengeance fell on the offending teachers of the truth. 
Under various pretexts Dr. Judson was imprisoned, 
and in his cell was treated with a cruelty such as 
nothing but Eastern despotism could inflict. Chain 
was added to chain. Prison after prison became his 
abode — each in succession more offensive than its pre- 
decessor. Indignity rapidly followed indignity, and 
such was the dire calamity which befell that man of 
God that suicide was thought of, at least it once flashed 
across his mind, as an outlet from his sufferings. 

But in these circumstances all that is implied in a 



HELPMATES AT HOME. 



115 



helpmate was fully realized. The wife of the sufferer 
sought his release along every open channel. She 
penetrated into the palace, and pled there as only a 
woman could plead. She appealed to cruel officials 
and ruthless jailers, and made some even of them 
weep before her. Night and day, amid throbbing 
agony and crowding insults, she persevered in that 
labor of love, till her example shows how truly God 
may be glorified by the very weakness of his servants. 
Yet all was vain, and Dr. Judson was removed to a 
distant prison, in order to be burned alive. Thither, 
however, his helpmate followed, but only to be her- 
self prostrated by disease — and now began the duties 
of the other helpmate in his turn. By a signal provi- 
dence, or chain of providences, Judson's life was 
spared, and though fettered still, and not permitted to 
move without a clanking chain, he carried his wailing 
little child to heathen mothers to beg from them a por- 
tion of nature's nourishment for his dying starve- 
ling. The mother was at times delirious, and amid his 
growing woes, that father had to do what perhaps 
no mortal but himself was ever forced to face. Oh, 
how potent is the love of Christ ! See that fettered 
father enduring all this for Him, and then understand 
His power. 

Here, then, we find an illustration of the divine 
institution of home-helpmates, such as the world's 
history can scarcely parallel. These two literally 
bore each other's burdens. Their lives were some- 
times lent to each other in the battle of life, and both 
triumphed amid their trials, because each had the 
other for a support. 



116 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



And it is ever thus when the divine institutions are 
the guides of men. Sorrow is soothed. A prison may 
become a place for hymns. Fetters may cease to 
chafe, or they may be lightly borne, when man or 
woman has just learned to lean — to lean upon the 
strength of God. How sunny and serene our homes, 
how full of joy our hearts, were man only so wise 
as to make the will of God paramount ! Judson was 
a man of strong will, of indomitable zeal, of unflinch- 
ing resolution when he was confronted with perils ; 
but even his strength would have proved his weakness 
had it not been for his helpmate. 

We might find another illustration of the topic now 
before us in the life of Rowland Hill. For many 
years he and his helpmate were to each other all that 
God designed them to be. When affliction came 
upon the one, the other suffered not less, and yet had 
strength and calmness to aid the tried one. What 
that remarkable man had in excess, she had in great 
moderation, and they were thus the complements of 
each other. In his plans she judiciously aided, but 
there was that in her views which his sometimes 
wanted, so that the two together presented a symmet- 
rical combination. Hill had to watch against sallies 
of humor which often degenerated into irrepressible 
fun. His helpmate was calmer and more self-govern- 
ing. She consequently acted like a refrain upon him, 
and often regulated without repressing her husband's 
mirth. A union of sixty years only made their mu- 
tual adaptation more and more manifest, as it tended 
to render their life as believers more completely " the 
gladsome fellowship of hearts." 



HELPMATES AT HOME. 



117 



Or were it needful to introduce a contrast here, to 
give greater prominence to the truth, we might refer 
to the married life of Mrs. Hemans. It is well known 
that she and her helpmate were so "unequally yoked 
that they soon separated forever. Though their union 
at first promised a happiness of the highest order, it 
was speedily clouded by some cause which has never 
yet been fully divulged. But though a veil of mys- 
tery hangs over the whole proceedings of the ill-sorted 
pair, enough is known to show that, though married, 
the parties were not helpmates. They were to each 
other the occasion of pain or of repulsion, not of in- 
creased happiness ; and their separation deepened, if 
it did not originate, that tone of melancholy which 
characterized the mind of Mrs. Hemans. She could 
weep with ready emotion amid impressive scenes of 
loveliness, as she once did at the beauty of moonlight 
among the environs of Edinburgh ; and it is easy to 
fancy the laceration endured by a nature so sensitive 
and tender, amid disruption so touching as she was 
compelled to endure. 



118 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



CHAPTEE IX. 

INFANCY AND CHILDHOOD. 

Savage Life— The Model of Beauty — A Birth — Baptism — The impressibility of In- 
fancy — Its Curiosity — Its Happiness — The Duration of its Pleasures — The 
Brevity of its Grief — Selfishness — Julius Caesar — Napoleon Bonaparte — Luther 
— Keflex influence of Infancy on Parents — Precocity — Obedience — An Infant's 
Death — Examples — " The Holy Child" — Joseph — Isaac — Moses — Samuel — Jere- 
miah — John the Baptist. 

Among the North American Indians different tribes 
train their young in very different ways. By some 
clans, flat heads are deemed beautiful, and the infant's 
skull is carefully compressed and flattened to the 
proper standard of beauty. Other tribes shape and 
mould the head upon a different ideal, so that infancy 
begins life amid tortures such as some Europeans en- 
dure to fashion the body to a capricious configuration. 
It is well known, moreover, that, among the Chinese, 
the feet of female infants are curtailed and compres- 
sed by artificial means till it becomes a marvel how 
they can either walk or stand. From all this we 
learn what pains are taken at once by the savage and 
the civilized regarding the body and its training. 

But the same thing is true, to a far wider extent, 
regarding the mind, The expansive or the compres- 
sible power is there much greater in its range. By 
the force of circumstances, it may be depressed to the 
verge of idiotcy, or enlarged till it seems to walk 
among the stars. 



INFANCY AND CHILDHOOD. 



119 



N"ow, when we look at Infancy as a component part 
of our homes, one of the first things to strike ns is its 
absolute helplessness. A folded flower does not de- 
pend upon sunshine and dew so much as an infant 
upon the help of others ; and to supply that help has 
been an object of special care to the Great Father of 
all. No sooner does a child enter upon life than new 
emotions are awakened by its appearance — new ties 
are formed : from the centre to the circumference of 
man's being, all is affected by such an advent. New 
words are invented to greet the stranger : new tones 
are used to gladden him. Unconscious as he may 
seem to be, he has already thrilled more hearts than 
one with joy, and awakened feelings which perhaps 
pass up to the throne, and may glow forever in the 
presence of Godhead. It is a w T ondrous event, and 
turns a wise man's words into things — " If ye are 
blessed with children, ye have a fearful pleasure." It 
is the birth of an eternal duration, for the little help- 
less wailer has a germ of being — a principle in him 
which will outlast all time, and outshine all suns. 
True : it too often happens that each addition thus 
made to a human family only augments the sum of 
the world's woe. It may come in the shape of help- 
less innocence, but it may end in the consummation 
of crime. Yet, all that conceded, the prayer of one 
believing mother may be used by many : 

1 1 Greatest and Holiest of woman born, 
That for our guilty sakes encradled lay 
In the unworthy manger — hear the prayer 
Of a glad mother, kneeling at thy throne, 

Beseeching Thee 

. . .... to spread the wings, 



120 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



The sheltering wings of thy eternal love, 
Above her little one." 

The birth of each little child thus awakens a crowd 
of deep emotions in a home. Its first cry pierces with 
strange poignancy to the parent's heart ; and then, as 
the infant powers are developed, our wonder grows 
at the multiform adaptations which exist between 
that helpless being and the great world around it. 
The air for its breathing — light for its eye — music for 
its ear — ten thousand things to gladden or regale, all 
come crowding round the child ; at the same time, all 
is fascinating — that little one would smile at the 
gleaming of a knife brandished for its immolation. 
" Solitary and unrelated as it may seem, cascades of 
influence stream on it from all sides round. Every 
object soon becomes a book — every place a school- 
house — and every event ploughs in some winged 
seeds which will be bearing their appropriate fruit 
ten thousand ages hence."* 

And this is perhaps the best place to advert to the 
baptism of a child. When an infant is presented to 
God in that ordinance, the parent has superadded 
fresh ties to all that bound him before. By naming 
the Heavenly Father's name, the parent and the child 
together are placed under the guardianship of God 
over all, and that parent is to train that child to love 
God as a Father ; not to recoil from Him as a con- 
suming fire. Through the earthly relation, the child 
is to know and to love the heavenly, and thus the 
parent, in dedicating his child to God, rears a high 
wall around himself, to fence him off at once from all 

* See "Pat riar chy. 5 ' chap. ix. throughout. 



INFANCY AND CHILDHOOD. 



121 



that is unfatherly, and all that is ungodly. Again, in 
that solemn dedication, by naming the Saviour's 
name over the little one, he is placed under an Al- 
mighty Shield. The believing father claims for that 
little one the atoning blood, the sanctifying power, 
the renewed image of God — all, in short, that is con- 
tained in the well-ordered covenant. He moreover 
seeks for his child, in hopeful faith, the indwelling of 
that Spirit who alone can make man holy, and with- 
out whose hallowing power the Saviour would have 
died in vain. Now all these things involve obliga- 
tions the most stringent which heart can frame or 
tongue express : and he does not love his child aright 
— he has not realized the preciousness of his infant's 
soul — who does not, in baptism, seek the Christian's 
God — the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit — with 
all the heart, and all the soul, and all the strength 
and mind. A little one thus dedicated to God, is 
weakness placed under the guardianship of Omnipo- 
tence — parents may then use means and firmly hope 
in God. 

But 2. The next thing perhaps which attracts us 
in an infant, is its impressibility. A tone, a look, a 
gesture affects it, and these effects may be everlast- 
ing. As children may imbibe disease or death with 
their first aliment, they may receive impressions in 
their first years which never fade away. A mother 
has only to speak, and she 

" Plants the great hereafter in this Now," 

and hence, before anything earthly has taken posses- 
sion of the infant soul, a bias may be imparted by 

6 



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affection which leads to results as deathless as that 
soul itself. In the use of toys, in quest of entertain- 
ment and of happiness in the society of other infants, 
and in other ways, some of the great principles which 
guide man's mind are either nursed or effaced, for it 
is not written in vain — " With his mother's milk the 
young child drinketh education." 

There are millions throughout the world who re- 
member their visit to the Crystal Palace. They can 
recall the impressions which were then made, and 
which came crowding in through every sense. It 
seemed as if the world were there, or as if we could 
visit all nations by a few paces of locomotion — and 
what that spectacle, so vast, yet so minute, so multi- 
form, yet so simple, was to the millions who saw it, 
this world seems to every child who enters it. Every 
thing stamps a fresh impression upon him. Like the 
winged insect just escaped from the chrysalis, and 
rejoicing for the first time in its sunshine, its nectar, 
and its wings, that infant soul finds joy or sorrow — 
happiness or fear — but rather the first, in every thing 
that invites attention. The little being who must live 
forever in glory or in gloom, begins " the journey to 
the skies" amid myriads of objects all impressing the 
impressible — all stamping knowledge upon it, as pho- 
tography reproduces images in thousands. It is often 
observed, that the first seven years of life decide the 
character of the whole threescore and ten — and the 
remark is universally true, except in cases where some 
mighty revolution is wrought by future grace. 

And how beneficent are the Divine arrangements 
to meet this case ! " What seminary is provided for 



INFANCY AND CHILDHOOD. 



123 



infancy ? To what teacher is it committed ? The 
seminary is Home, the teacher is the parent. "What 
spot on earth so likely to abound in genial influences 
as the fireside ? What master so likely to teach with 
blended wisdom and goodness as the parent ?" As 
his God teaches him in love the most tender and long- 
suffering, should the earthly parent teach, train, bear 
with, guide and gladden his child, making all things 
joyous with one exception — the abominable thing. 

3. Another peculiarity in infancy is its restless cu- 
riosity. Iso such persevering investigator as a little 
child, whether it be in the analysis of a toy, or the 
demolition of some offending favorite. An infant's 
philosophy is both analytic and inductive. His end- 
less inquiries, as soon as he can speak — his absolute 
avarice of knowledge — his insatiable longings ever 
growing with what they feed on, are all so many wise 
adaptations to augment the wisdom of childhood. 
But poetry has painted all that need be said on this 
subject — and we give full scope to some of its utter- 
ances. " See its power expand," one has said, re- 
garding curiosity — 

" See its power expand, 
When first the coral fills the infant's hand ; 
Throned in his mother's lap. he dries each tear, 
As her sweet legend falls upon the ear ; 
Next it assails him in his top's strange hum, 
Breathes in his whistle, echoes in his drum. 
Each gilded toy which doting love bestows 
He longs to break, and every spring expose. 
Placed by your hearth, with what delight he pores 
O'er the bright pages of the pictured stores. 
How oft he steals upon your graver task, 
Of this to tell you, and of that to ask, 
And when the warning hour to bedward bids, 



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Though gentle sleep sits waiting on his lids, 
How winningly he pleads to gain you o'er, 
That he may read one little story more ! 

" Nor yet alone to toys and tales confined, 
It sits dark brooding o'er his embryo mind ; 
Take him between your knees, peruse his face, 
While all you know, or think you know, you trace. 
Tell him who spoke creation into birth, 
Arched the broad heavens, and spread the rolling earth ; 
"Who formed a pathway for the obedient sun, 
And bade the seasons in their circles run ; 
Who filled the air, the forest, and the flood ; 
And gave man all for comfort or for food ; 
Tell him he sprang at God's creating nod — 
He stops you short with, ' Father, who made God V n 

'No doubt the principle which these lines paint re- 
quires to be directed and controlled. We have seen 
a child hastening to pluck a water-lily, which floated 
in beauty upon its broad green leaves, as if it grew on 
solid land; and, had that child not been arrested, she 
might, in her ignorance, have found a watery grave. 
In like manner, curiosity may lead to peril ; it may 
degenerate into scepticism, and urge us beyond the 
limits assigned by God to man's knowledge. But, 
under the guidance of blended affection and skill, 
that principle is the fountain-head of immeasurable 
progress, of illimitable stores of knowledge — it leads 
to impressions as indelible as the grooves in granite 
rocks, to which geology points as telling of what hap- 
pened thousands of years ago. Could we denude the 
soul of man, when he has reached the age of fifty, of 
all that he has gone forth to acquire at the prompting 
of curiosity, he would be reduced to infancy even 
then ; his mind would be well-nigh a void. 



INFANCY AND CHILDHOOD. 



125 



4. Another peculiarity of childhood or of infancy 
is its buoyant and elastic happiness. First of all, in 
its own inherent stores, or in what it has already 
acquired, healthy infancy has exhaustless treasures of 
enjoyment. There wells up in the soul a ceaseless 
spring of gladness, and this perennial gush of felicity 
speaks loudly to us of the goodness of our God. All 
this has been well illustrated by pointing to the 
happy children who are found in the lanes and alleys 
of our large towns. Clotted often with impurity ; 
arrayed not seldom in rags ; steeped quite frequently 
in unseemliness to a fastidious eye, many of them are 
yet supremely happy. Like the oil of the high priest 
of old, that happiness spreads over the whole frame 
of such children, and even the mud amid which they 
roll, can be converted by them into a source of real 
enjoyment. And then, how often may we notice the 
children who follow the be^o'ar whose only home is a 

CO V 

hut, or perhaps but a hedgerow, as jubilant and glee- 
some as if they were the inmates of a palace ! The 
lot and the fare of such waifs seem altogether hard, 
yet in corporeal enjoyment at least, they are on a 
level with the most favored children of wealth. All 
that is needed is just to give childhood scope or 
materials to work upon, and its power of inventing 
entertainment will stretch beyond our fancy. As 
there is an unconscious influence put forth by parents 
upon children, there are unknown resources in chil- 
dren themselves, which need only to have space for 
development, when all will be buoyantly happy. 

And then, in addition, the pleasures of infancy are 
so much more lasting than its pains, that we can there 



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trace again the goodness of God. See a little girl, it 
has been said, with her favorite doll. She idealizes, 
she fondles, she clothes, she punishes, she teaches, she 
airs, she does a hundred things, all augmenting her 
happiness, and making young life like a sunny sum- 
mer day. But, on the other hand, see her in tears 
under some calamity — and smiles almost instantly 
come to dry them. Laughter supersedes what threat- 
ened to end in sobs, or if grief does deepen into sighs, 
it is but the passing of a cloud over some spot of sun- 
shine — all is speedily serene again ; and he was true 
to Nature who sang, 

" The tear down childhoods cheek that flows, 
Is like the dew-drop on the rose ; 
When next the summer breeze comes by 
And waves the bush, the flower is dry." 

Nor are these joys merely animal in their nature. 
It is mind, philosophy has said — "It is the rich and 
grasping and excursive mind . . . that is at work in 
the child's poor materials of felicity . . . ; they sug- 
gest conceptions of things dimly recollected and now 
absent, which people the fancy in crowds, and lead it 
on until the soul is lost in the chase."* The amuse- 
ments of infancy, in short, like much besides, though 
childlike, are not childish. Its pleasures are deep 
and abiding, and they form no small element of con- 
sideration in its training. 

5. But side by side with these pleasant traits of 
infancy, the force of truth compels us to mention 
others of a different type. Waywardness is often its 
element ; selfishness deflowers much that would other- 

* Taylor's " Home Education," p. 35. 



INFANCY AND CHILDHOOD. 



127 



wise be morally lovely, for the creatures whose first 
wail agonizes a parent, and whose first smile forms 
an era in a home, are all that the Scriptures say — 
" Iniquity is bound up in their hearts from child- 
hood," " childhood and youth are vanity there lie 
folded up in the young soul principles which may be 
developed either into a Howard or a Borgia. And 
parents can sometimes scarcely look upon Infancy 
without being prompted to forecast the coming char- 
acter of the child who is softly smiling on their knee. 
Had the mother of Julius Csesar been a Christian, 
and could she have foreseen that her son would cause 
the death of about three millions of immortal beings, 
what sorrows would have been hers ? Or if the 
mother of Napoleon Bonaparte was a Christian, what 
would have been her feelings could she have foretold 
the miseries to which his vaulting ambition would 
lead ? On the other hand, could Luther's mother 
have anticipated the halo of glory which was to 
encircle her boy, as the author of spiritual freedom to 
millions, would not her heart have leaped for joy? 
Could she have looked unmoved upon the God-sent 
man, who 

"Raised himself above the throng 
That climbs and jostles up the steep ascent 
Of busy life," 

as he tore the mask from superstition, or gave lib- 
erty to the spiritual slave ? 

Xow all this warns us of the consequence which 
may attach to infancy ; there may be folded up in it 
the power which shall girdle the globe with its influ- 
ence, the genius which shall illumine many lands with 



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its light, the benevolence which shall stem the terrible 
torrent of misery which is sweeping the millions of 
mankind to woe ; or there may be there the savage 
soul which shall scatter firebrands, arrows, and death, 
is o parent is wise who does not keep all this in view, 
and act toward his little one under the full conviction 
that that child is at the very least immortal, and may 
be a terrible scourge, or a signal blessing, while he 
must influence many for good or for ill forever. A 
Roman emperor began his career of cruelty by tortur- 
ing insects, and ended by wishing that the Roman 
people had only one head that he might decapitate 
them all at a blow ; and with such possibilities lying 
before infancy, we may well feel the force of the say- 
ing, that they are happy whom grace has taught to 
give "the unbroken heart's first fragrance to heaven." 
In answer to the question, " Is it well with thy 
child V\ a parent can then reply, " It is well." There 
are some who practically expunge the truth of the 
new birth as useless or extreme, but they have yet to 
learn God's mind regarding man's heart. 

But, 6. In this connection we may mention the 
influence of infancy upon parents themselves. The 
birth of a child alters all the arrangements of a house- 
hold, all its relations, its language, and its doings. 
Poetry says that "the child is father to the man," 
and is true to nature in the saying. The child cannot 
but react upon its parents. The mother's whole soul 
especially is flooded with new cares, new joys, new 
emotions, as shifting as the colors on the neck of a 
dove, while the father is cheered amid his toils be- 
cause his child shares in his reward, or is attracted 



INFANCY AND CHILDHOOD. 



to liis home, "the garner-house of all his dear de- 
lights," because he knows that the smile of his child 
will greet him, or its frolics amuse. It is in truth a 
moral power, for who can look upon a child's first 
smile, or trace its buoyant movements, most of them 
movements of joy, without becoming joyous in turn? 
Or who can mark its early waywardness without 
feeling the force and the truth of a hundred sayings 
of the Holy One? Lastly, who can be reduced to 
the necessity of punishing a child without learning 
humbling lessons from the duty ? 

It is thus that the reflex influence of childhood 
upon parenthood appears. It develops forethought 
and wisdom. It fosters economy and care. It tends 
to make happiness more bright, or to arrest and 
startle a godless parent in his career of ruin. The 
lisped prayer of a little child, taught by some other 
than a father, has gone to that father's heart like a 
barbed arrow which only Omnipotence could extract. 
A child may thus wield an irresistible influence ; it 
may literally be one of the weak things which are 
chosen to confound the mighty, or arrest some of the 
unthinking in the paths of the destroyer. 

" Those who are much employed in training the 
young for Jesus have found great benefit to them- 
selves from being led to dwell on simple views of 
truth and duty, and to keep -God's "Word ever warm 
and fresh in their hearts, that they might talk of it to 
children. They have, also, felt a strong motive to 
watchful consistency in feeling, temper, word, and 
conduct, in order to show the little ones practically 
what it is to follow Jesus. How often have they 

6* 



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found lessons for themselves, and types of heaven, in 
the ever-springing gladness, the glowing admiration, 
the ceaseless action, the love and confidence of their 
young charge ! And when the truths they had in- 
stilled into infant minds have come back to them, 
uttered by the little ones in their own sweet, simple 
words, they have felt that God does indeed commit 
to babes a wondrous and most precious ministry ; 
and that such of their fellow-Christians as have no 
sympathy or communion with childhood, have de- 
prived themselves of one important means, provided 
by God, to instruct, to gladden, and to sanctify His 
people. 

" Oh, that ministers and congregations could be 
aroused to act in the spirit of an infant's prayer, 
' Lord, I want to have Thy Holy Spirit now. I do 
not wish to wait a long time. I do not wish to wait 
till to-morrow. I want to have Thy Spirit now P 
Surely an angel would be glad to come down from 
heaven, if he might but help in fulfilling such desires 
as these."* 

Now such reflex influence of infancy and child- 
hood may well be ranked among the most helpful or 
the most solemnizing of all moral agencies. The 
little tyrant who domineers in a family, or the little 
idol to which all hearts turn, or all feet rush, cannot 
but affect the household through all its members, as 
fever affects the body through all its pores. Nor 
should we fail to notice how infancy may remind its 

* See " An Appeal to the Ministers of Christ on behalf of 1 The 
Little Ones,' by a Christian Mother."— Pp. 21, 22. A very touching 
plea. 



INFANCY AXD CHILDHOOD. 



131 



parents of their own dependence on a heavenly Father 
and their own obligation to love him. The little 
preacher may thus point us Godward by its very help- 
lessness, and our weakest may thus prove not merely 
our tenderest care, but moreover our truest monitor. 

7. One class of little children deserve to be speci- 
fied here, because of their peculiar influence — the 
clever, the precocious, and therefore, too often, the 
spoiled. Unwise parents pride themselves on the 
early development of mind. When they can do little 
more than prattle, some children are forced into pre- 
cocious prodigies, at whose shrine all must worship, 
to whom adulation is the incense, and inflated vanity 
the result. Rather the result is, multiform evil ; and 
many a parent has been compelled bitterly to deplore 
the injury thus done to the young. We cannot too 
soon develop or train the moral principles, or the 
heart and its love, its confidence and its purity. Such 
love ought to form the moral atmosphere of every 
Home, to be disturbed by nothing but sin. But to 
stimulate infancy to premature acquirement is the 
high way to mental feebleness, to wasted health, and 
at last, it may be, to broken hearts. It is not to be 
denied that some children have been singularly gifted 
by God, and sometimes appear among their fellows 
with a wisdom such as man cannot impart. Strength 
is ordained out of the mouth of such babes, and no 
man may limit the Holy One. But that is essentially 
different from the unnatural forcing of childhood into 
that prematurity of learning which too often termi- 
nates in a manhood of mental feebleness, or in some 
cases, even of vice* 



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We should not forget to say, however, that, amid 
all our efforts on behalf of infancy, our aim should 
ever be its conversion to God by His Spirit. Unless 
that be sought, all else is unavailing ; and the home 
in which that is not promoted, by prayer and in the 
use of means, comes far short of the real character of 
a Christian abode. A Christian mother, who knows 
how to promote " the music of home joys," has said, 
and we adopt the saying — " Very few, even among 
Christian parents, expect the early conversion of chil- 
dren. They hope that God will at length turn these 
dear ones to Himself; but, too often, they take it for 
granted, that childhood must be passed in careless 
indifference to the precious Saviour. They think of 
converting grace as a suddenly transforming power, 
which may, at some future period, come direct from 
heaven, like a rushing mighty wind ; while they 
should be looking for it, hourly, in all their dealings 
with their children, as the dew that distils in silence 
on the tender herb. The loving influence and au- 
thority of parents, and their simple teaching of God's 
holy "Word, are the appointed medium of a Divine 
work in children ; and while the parent feels that 
these are empty channels in themselves, he should 
expect a living stream to descend through them into 
the young heart, and cause holiness to spring up 
there like a willow by the water-course."* 

^Vith these principles or truths present to the mind, 
we need not here enter into any details regarding 
infant or early training. If love and painstaking be 

* "An Appeal to the Ministers of Christ on behalf of 'The Little 

Ones, 1 by a Christian Mother."— Pp. 13, 14. 



INFANCY AND CHILDHOOD. 



133 



due upon the one hand, obedience, prompt, universal 
and unvarying, is due upon the other — and that 
parent is turning his home into a nursery for sorrow 
who smiles or connives at disobedience in any right 
thing. It is the will of the Supreme, embodied in 
one of his ten precepts, that such obedience should 
be rendered, and parents conspire both against their 
little one's happiness and their own, unless obedience 
be secured. It may cost a struggle, but the result is 
worth far more than an effort. That result is a happy 
home, a happy child, and by the blessing of God, 
glory and honor in the end. 

We have as yet only glanced at the death of little 
ones, though that is one of the means which are fre- 
quently employed for the right training of home. It 
is, at the same time, one of the mysteries of God's 
world — inexplicable but for His Word. " Death 
passed upon all men, for that all have sinned ;" but 
that only deepens the mystery ; and oh, how the 
heart of a Christian parent must ache when he has 
just laid his little one in the grave, and laid him 
there because of God's sentence upon sin ! That lit- 
tle one may outlive all worlds, but meanwhile, it has 
encountered a dismal eclipse — the empty home is 
hung with sackcloth, and, like Rachel, the parents 
may weep bitter tears, because their child is not. It 
is one of the darkest hours that can gather blackness 
around a home, and the appeal to the life-giving Lord 
may well be — 

11 Hear a sad mother's cry, 
Who in the hour of her bereavement wails, 
And, Rachel-like, bemoans her early dead." 



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THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



But there are gleams of light through the cloud. As 
children were employed to peal forth hosannas to the 
Son of David in the temple of old, the believing 
parent can cherish the hope that the same employ- 
ment engrosses them in the Temple above. That is 
his solace, and meanwhile, he leaves his little ones to 
" sleep in Jesus." The faded flower will yet be made 
to bloom. 

EXAMPLES. 

To exemplify all that has been said, we might ap- 
peal to the history of many of the children of Scrip- 
ture. We might speak of that " holy child Jesus," 
whom prophets foretold — whom angels proclaimed — 
whose birth summoned a new star for a time into the 
sky — before whom hoary sages hastened to spread 
out their offerings, or at whose rumored advent even 
the truculent Herod sat uneasy on his throne. We 
might tell how he grew in wisdom and in stature ; 
how he was early at his Father's work, and early took 
his place at the fountain-head of . knowledge among 
the learned of his day. 

Or, if that example be too august and unearthly, 
we might pass from J esus the anti-type to Joseph the 
type, and tell how signally he, in youth and age, was 
watched over by God — not exempted from trials, and 
these of the sorest kind — but by trials prepared for 
triumph — by lowliness for being great — and by a 
dungeon for a palace, almost for a throne. 

But time would fail us to tell of Isaac, the child of 
promise ; of Moses, in the ark of bulrushes ; of Sam- 
uel, " who was lent to the Lord all the days of his 



INFANCY AND CHILDHOOD. 



135 



life of Jeremiah and John the Baptist, who were 
sanctified from their birth ; of Timothy, whose grand- 
mother and mother trained him in the knowledge of 
God's will, as soon as he could be trained at all. 
These all testify how much may depend, even in our 
earliest years, upon a parent's painstaking — a mother's 
prayer, or a father's example. And how many of the 
lost will trace their perdition to the impressions first 
made in childhood, and perpetuated through the 
stages by which boyhood passes into manhood, and 
manhood imperceptibly glides into hoary hairs and 
the grave ! How many, on the other hand, who are 
hopefully the heirs of God and joint-heirs with Christ, 
will forever ascribe that character and that glory to 
the impressions which a mother made, ere the world 
had hardened the heart, or made it defiant of restraint 
alike from God and man ! The} r early learned to 
imitate the young disciple, who said that " if he had 
a thousand hearts, he w r ould engage them all in love 
to Immanuel," and w T ith such resolutions, the young- 
est rank already among the blessed forever. 



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THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



CHAPTEE X. 

SONS. 

• Parental Kesponsibility— The Perils of Sons— Control passing into Counsel — Edu- 
cation — Choice of a Profession — The Parent's Duty — Difficulties — Passion — 
Ignorance — Caprice — Training " for the Church' 1 — Prodigals — The Misery which 
they Spread — Wise Sons — Glad Parents — Examples — George Washington — 
Richard and Bowlahd Hill — George Canning — Scriptural Cases. 

It might solemnize the most unthinking parent 
could he but once realize the fact that he must answer 
to the Just Judge for the soul of every child beneath 
his roof. His own soul and his children's constitute 
his spiritual charge, and could all that is implied in 
such responsibility be felt as it ought to be, the most 
worldly would be startled for a little, the most 
thoughtless would be compelled to think. That so 
much as a single parent should be neglecting his 
children's souls, and therefore doing what he can to 
ruin them forever, is one of the saddest considerations 
that can engross the mind of man. What guilt where 
there should be blamelessness ! "What folly where 
there should be wisdom ! What cruelty where there 
should be love ! What woe when the day of repent- 
ance, or, failing that, of righteous retribution comes ! 

And this circumspection is specially needed when- 
ever there are special temptations. If there be some 
members of our homes in whom passion not seldom 
usurps the place of principle, they demand a parent's 
peculiar care ; and this is too often the case with 



SONS. 



137 



Sons. Often thoughtless, impatient of control, bent 
upon their own will and their own way, both the wis- 
dom of the serpent and the harmlessness of the dove 
are required to guide them in duty — let us next glance 
then at the sons of our homes. 

Upon the sun-dial it is the shadow that indicates 
the hour, and in the life of boys, character is often 
displayed by unholy deeds. Passing from infancy to 
boyhood, they often wish to overleap one stage and 
be men at a bound. They long to be independent, 
or only self-dependent, and are often defiant of every 
wise restraint. This may not arise from any precocity 
of power, but only from precocity in sin, and perhaps 
no future years of life witness so much iniquity as 
those of this transition time. Conscience sometimes 
appears to be dormant ; reason is overborne ; and 
hence the need of firmness tempered at once by wis- 
dom and affection. The young soul is wayward in 
proportion to its ignorance or its want of conscience ; 
and the parent who would neither connive at a son's 
guilt nor conspire to ruin him, must resolutely adopt 
the maxim, 

" Principiis obsta: sero medicina paratur 
Cum mala per longas invaluere moras." 

" Crush the first germ : too late your cares begin 
When long delays have fortified the sin." 

The greatest strain upon parental wisdom, and the 
clearest proof of parental impotency for good, without 
the blessing of God, meet us in many a home just at 
the point now referred to. 

But this is too vague. That sons should obey their 
parents " in all things" is a scriptural maxim which 



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THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



only infidelity can challenge. During infancy the 
parent's claim to that obedience is absolute. He is 
answerable only to God for commanding, and the 
child only for obeying. " Honor thy father and thy 
mother" is the basis of all duty between man and 
man : it is the first clause in the decalogue after the 
precepts w r hich relate to God. The fifth is thus a 
compound command, enjoining obedience alike to the 
heavenly and the earthly father ; and all that, for the 
first time in the decalogue, is accompanied with a 
promise. The parent is thus put in God's place in 
regard to infant obedience. 

But as the son advances in days, a period arrives 
when absolute control passes into rational guidance — 
when reasons should be given for commands — when 
consultations should be held and confidence cherished. 
In some cases the child's preference should decide the 
measures to be adopted, in others that preference 
should be resolutely withstood ; and it is this that 
tries both the head and the heart of many a parent. 
Neither to expect that in boyhood which can be found 
only in maturity, nor to yield to passion, or caprice, 
or waywardness ; neither to do as despotism does, 
making children serfs, nor, as Eli did, leaving them 
unchecked and sin ascendant — requires a wisdom 
more than mortal ; and w T hat parent dare say that he 
has never erred at this important era in the history of 
his home ? 

Further, in the case of sons, their education must 
of course be influenced by their pursuits in life. They 
should learn not merely to know, but to he wise. 
They are not merely to be taught, but to be trained — 



SONS. 



139 



not merely to learn to inquire, but moreover to do 
and to act. Even a heathen emperor could say, " The 
highest learning is to be wise, the highest wisdom is 
to be good and that maxim should preside over the 
training of boys. As youth is the season of progress, 
while age becomes conservative, stagnant, or timid, 
that youthful tendency should be both fostered and 
directed; and the secret of home happiness is not 
fully known where the longing to advance so native 
to youth is not carefully studied, or skilfully employed 
for good. 

But all that need be said upon this subject here 
may be comprehended under suggestions regarding 
the choice of a profession. It frequently happens 
that a father consults his own views in this respect, 
rather than his son's. The prospect of gain, some 
domestic arrangement, vanity, caprice, and similar 
causes, may decide one of the most important steps 
in life. But these things ought not so to be. That 
son is less than dutiful w T ho lightly sets aside a 
parent's counsel ; but, on the other hand, unless 
the choice be wicked, or foolish, or ignorant, it 
should form an element in the final decision. The 
neglect of that maxim has shed a blight over some 
hearts for life ; and warned thereby, talent, taste, and 
physical and mental energy are all to be considered 
in deciding a boy's course for life. A parent's plans 
may be thwarted, and bright hopes may seem to be 
dashed, but unless the chosen pursuit be one to which 
no Christian parent can be a party without sin, he 
may solace himself with the thought that no one ever 
did well what he did from compulsion, perhaps with 



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hatred or loathing. In a word, the predilections, the 
taste, and the likings of youth have their place, and 
the wisest father will be most prompt in conceding to 
them all their legitimate scope. 

And when coercion has been employed, how ruin-* 
ons have been the effects ! It often happens, for ex- 
ample, that parents train their son "for the Church." 
In some homes it is just as fixed a law that the second 
son shall inherit the family " living," as that the eld- 
est shall inherit the family estate. JSTow, what havoc 
that practice has wrought in individual souls, and in 
whole districts, need not be told. What seared con- 
sciences! What godless ministers ! What neglected 
flocks ! What hireling shepherds ! What lying unto 
God in ordination vows ! Surely in this respect the 
compassionate maxim of the Scriptures comes into full 
operation — u Fathers, provoke not your children to 
wrath, lest they be discouraged." 

It it doubtless true that the choice for life is often 
made by boyhood at a period when passion rather 
than reason, or caprice rather than conscience, con- 
trols it ; and hence, no doubt, a crowd of dangers. 
Withal, however, counsel not coercion constitutes the 
remedy ; and the parent who knows the way to the 
throne of the Father of all will not be left unfriended. 
Regarding his son, he may see this parental prayer 
answered : — 

"Direct his tastes to innocent pursuits, 
And bless him with the friendship and the love 
Of those who may assist him on the road 
Of honor, piety, and lasting peace." 

But hitherto we have spoken of sons without much 



SONS. 



141 



reference to what is moral in their position in our 
homes ; and who has not noticed their influence 
there ? Who has not seen how they sometimes 
operate, like a malignant star, to blight — withering 
peace, and exterminating all that is lovely, except 
only hope? Who, for example, can think of the 
mother of Eichard Cecil, while he seemed rushing 
upon ruin, as an infidel and presumptuous stripling, 
without also thinking of a heart half-broken, of spirits 
crushed, of all but Christian faith extinguished ? We 
look back over a long vista of years : we recall the 
sights and the scenes of sorrow witnessed in their 
course — the widowhood, the orphanage, the woes un- 
utterable and countless, beheld as a minister of re- 
ligion; but among them all, none have been more 
poignant or more bitter than the tears which were 
shed, and the agony which was endured, on account 
of the waywardness of sons. 

41 A conscience seared, which the dying love 
Of a mother's heart conld brave, 
Nor heed though grief bade the almond-tree 
Bloom fast for a father's grave" — 

is symptomatic of a high attainment in heartless 
profligacy. It is not death — it is guilt ; it is not 
the body — it is the soul; it is not time — it is eter- 
nity lost, that agonizes there.* Does God direct to 

* It seems to have been in the view of such things that the following 
passage, among the most startling of Scripture, was recorded: — "If a 
man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice 
of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have 
chastened him, will not hearken unto them : then shall his father and 
his" mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of the 
city, and unto the gate of his place : and they shall say unto the elders 



142 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



these remarks some soul which remembers the time 
when it was better with it than it is now? — when 
prayer was more relished ? — when God was not for- 
gotten ? — when a mother's influence was not daringly 
put aside? Then let it pause. Its career is toward 
the second death ; and the flower which withers on 
its stalk, the blossom which goes up like rottenness, 
the beauty which is sent to feed the worm, suggests 
no such saddening images as the condition of that 
soul. Here, if ever, Omnipotence is needed to arrest 
the wanderer, and lead him into the narrow way of 
peace. 

But there is light upon the retrospect- — the very 
light of heaven. While the prodigal in the parable 
finds many a copyist in common life, it is not less 
true that many a son is the joy and rejoicing of his 
home. He has learned to love souls ; and even when 
the father has been hurrying to ruin, such a son has 
become the family stay : he has averted calamity, 
and been like a minister of joy. Such a youth could 
find no solace where others have found it — in the fact 
that he was "the son of parents passed into the skies," 
but his lineage was nobler still ; it was direct from 
God : he was a member of the household of faith, and, 
as such, an heir of glory ; he took rank among the 
early wise, and was known and read as a living epis- 
tle of Christ. 

Or, once again. There have been sons who 

of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious ; he will not obey 
our voice ; he is a glutton and a drunkard. And all the men of his 
city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil 
away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear." — Deut. 
xxi. 18-21. 



SONS. 



143 



stood forth as the shield and the refuge of parents 
whom adversity had ruined, and who were descend- 
ing in sorrow to the grave. And of all the bright 
spots which arrest the eye in our dark world, this is 
one of the brightest. 

" This will a mother's heart repay, 
If that loved band, 
Amidst life's doubtful battle-fray, 
By grace sustained, shall often say, 

1 Next to G-od's hand, 
All of true happiness we know, 
Mother, to thy strong love we owe.' " 

Thus blessed is it to see youth repaying parentage for 
its cares and its love by a shelter for old age, or by 
smoothing its deathbed pillow. "Without natural 
affection," is one portion of that dark picture which 
inspiration draws of the soul when it is left, in its 
poor pride, to its own resources ; but that portion of 
the picture is effaced when the Saviour "has made all 
things new." 

EXAMPLES. 

It would not be easy to find a better illustration of 
a son's dutifulness and its results than the history of 
George Washington supplies. His father died when 
he was little more than twelve years of age ; bat his 
mother was able to take his place in the training of 
her son. The future leader of -victorious armies — the 
first president of a vast republic — the man of many 
virtues, and of a piety which was both all-pervasive 
and beautifully serene, owed nearly all that he was to 
his mother ; but it was because he dutifully surren- 
dered himself to her control. A judge-like calmness, 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



and a dauntless intrepidity, an integrity which could 
not be bribed, and a modesty which gladly sought 
the shade whenever duty permitted, rendered him un- 
questionably one of the foremost men of all time — 
and that, it has often been stated, was the result of 
his mother's pains and counsels. TThen young Wash- 
ington would have entered the British navy as a mid- 
shipman, at the age of fifteen, she interfered, and, 
though that mode of life was his favorite, he at once 
gave up his cherished pursuit at the bidding of filial 
affection. 

And Washington had his reward. He became the 
founder of the American Republic. He was honored 
to display a virtue such as too few of the sons of men 
have evinced, and to accomplish results such as only 
one man in many ages can achieve. Had he been 
iindutiful, had he disregarded his mother's counsel or 
trampled on her affection, his name might at this mo- 
ment have been utterly unknown. But he yielded 
to her guidance, and his example speaks trumpet- 
tongued to the sons of every age and land. 

The son of Howard the philanthropist might be 
mentioned as furnishing a case where vice triumphed 
at once over soul and body; but we briefly cite that 
of the son of Andrew Fuller, a minister of Christ, 
whose praise is in ail the churches. That youth was 
placed in London, but soon acted in such a manner 
there as " almost broke his parent's heart." He had 
accordingrlv to be removed — and Kettering where his 
father lived and labored, again became his home. 
There, however, he could not long remain : he enlist- 
ed, was discharged, found some new employment — 



SONS. 



145 



and enlisted again. At his own solicitation his dis- 
charge was purchased ; and when all hopes of amend- 
ment had proved clouds without rain, he was placed 
on board a merchant ship. From that, however, he 
ran away — was caught, punished, and dismissed. 
"When on the eve of entering upon a new pursuit, he 
enlisted for a third time ; and then died at sea of a 
lingering illness, while still in early years. Xow, 
such a case is at least moral madness, and shows the 
gulf into which the young are sure to plunge when 
parental lessons and prayers are unheeded. 

In regard to the influence of brother upon brother, 
the example of Richard Hill, a brother of the more 
celebrated Rowland, might be studied with profit- 
Grace had early impressed him with the heavenly 
wisdom, and he soon began to seek the good of all 
around him. Rowland and another brother were then 
at Eton ; and there Richard addressed them in a style 
at once so brotherly and so Christian as to raise their 
heart in the highest sense — that is, to God. It was 
then that Rowland was converted ; and for nearly 
three quarters of a century he proved to thousands 
upon thousands the blessedness which may flow from 
the right discharge of a son's and a brother's duties. 
That a boy of singular buoyancy of spirit — amid the 
gambols and the daring of Eton, should thus be born 
of God, seems surely an invitation to other brothers 
to be instant, as Sir Richard Hill was with Rowland. 

It would be difficult to find a better illustration of 
a right filial condition than the case of George Can- 
ning supplies. It is well known that his birth was 
not of elevated rank ; but even after his genius had 



146 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME, 



raised him to greatness, he never forgot the mother 
who bore him. As soon as his resources allowed, he 
made provision for her support ; and even when he 
represented the Sovereign of Britain at a foreign 
court, he did not forget to write a weekly letter to his 
mother. It is said that, with all his kindness and 
care, he could never elevate her above her original 
tastes and habits ; but, though she could not ascend 
to him, he could gracefully go down to her ; and he 
was in the habit of withdrawing at times from the 
cares of office, and resorting to Bath to visit her and 
her humble associates, his cousins, and friends. Even 
while his fame was at the brightest, he would walk 
out with his plebeian relatives there, or receive the 
visits of the titled in their company. There might be 
pride in that, or there may be exaggeration in the 
narrative, but, after making full allowance for both of 
these influences, the case of George Canning — the 
poet, the wit, the orator, the ambassador, the states- 
man, the prime minister of Great Britain — tells us 
where a son's heart should be. When such clinging 
affections are the work of grace, they form the ground- 
work of man's best nobility. 

Or, to illustrate further the position of sons, and 
the influence of sons and brothers, we might advert 
to many a scriptural case. In the days of Adam, of 
Isaac, and of David, such instances appear. On the 
one hand, parents and kinsmen are made glad ; on 
the other, they are crushed and confounded — while all 
seems to re-echo the words of Wisdom : " My son, 
keep tny father's commandment, and forsake not the 
law of thy mother : bind them continually upon thine 



SONS. 



147 



heart, and tie them about thy neck. When thou 
goest, it shall lead thee ; when thou sleepest, it shall 
keep thee ; and when thou awakest, it shall talk with 
thee. For the commandment is a lamp ; and the law 
is light ; and reproofs of instruction are the way of 
life."* Were these maxims laid up in the heart, Home 
would be happy indeed : it would become that centre 
of blessedness which God designed it to be. That 
Son who is at once the Model and the Lord of all — 
the Son of God — would be enthroned, and "the 
Brightness of the Father's glory" would shed a light 
beyond that of sunbeams upon the hearts of the sons 
of men. 



* Proverbs vl 20-23. 



148 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



CHAPTER XL 

DAUGHTERS. 

Their Education — Abuses — Accomplishments — The Mistress of a Home — Reforma- 
tion needed — Who mu^t Promote it — Influence of Daughters at Home — 
Friendships — Intercourse of Brothers and Sisters — Lord Byron — Examples — 
Mary Wollstonecroft — Madame de Stael — Mira S . 

In some respects the training of our daughters 
ranks among the least creditable portions of our social 
system. If wisdom consists in the adaptation of 
right means to a right end, we cannot always trace 
such wisdom in that training. Christian principle, 
engrafted upon prevailing customs, may do much to 
remedy existing evils, but that many do exist is 
painfully certain. 

If we saw the custodier of some precious gem en- 
grossed with the casket which contained it, but heed- 
less of the costly contents, could we admire his 
watchfulness or wisdom ? 

If we saw the owner of some princely palace 
enraptured with its stuccoes or its gilding, but blind 
to all its symmetry or grandeur, could either his skill 
or his taste be praised ? 

If we saw a person, mature in years, engrossed with 
the toys of children, when some weighty matters 
were soliciting his thoughts, could we approve of his 
preference, and call his folly prudent ? 

Yet all these find a parallel in the treatment of 



DAUGHTERS. 



149 



many of the daughters of this land regarding educa- 
tion. In past years at least, and in many places still, 
the glare of external appearance has taken prece- 
dence of the training which moulds the heart and 
soul. Indeed the soul is not seldom sacrificed to the 
body. The immortal and the spiritual are overlaid 
by the conventional, and the frivolity of girlhood has 
only been perpetuated by the lessons and the disci- 
pline which should have fitted it for moulding the 
minds of the future. The real business of life is often 
utterly omitted in the training which pretends to fit 
our daughters for it ; hence the urgent need of the 
caution given, among many others, by a judicious 
father to his daughter on the eve of marriage: — 
" From the hour you marry," he says, M you assume 
the character of a matron : be not a childish, girlish 
wife : the vows of God are upon you : sustain their 
gravity and prudence in all things." But, true as 
that is, too rarely are wise or scriptural means em- 
ployed to train such future matrons. 

Accomplishments are not to be undervalued, when 
they are worthy of the name. Let them be carried 
as far as is consistent with the attention which is due 
to still higher interests ; but, for the sake of all Home 
happiness, let not such things overlay those qualifica- 
tions which the real duties of life demand. He who 
looks at this subject with the eye of a Christian can- 
not fail to notice, that interests the most precious are 
often sacrificed in the training of daughters. Before 
they can be of use, when they occupy the places 
which God may assign them in the future, they must 
unlearn much of what once engrossed their whole 



150 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



soul. Tlie frivolous, the merely showy, have largely 
overlaid the useful ; but hear a woman on what is 
peculiarly a woman's topic. 

Speaking of the education of girls, one has boldly 
said : — " Btave any means, direct or indirect, prepared 
her for her duties as the mistress of a Home ? No ; 
but she is a linguist, a pianist, graceful, and admired ! 
But what is that to the purpose ? The grand evil of 
such education is mistaking means for ends — a com- 
mon error, and the source of half the moral confusion 
existing in the world : it is the substitution of a part 
for the whole. The time w T hen young women enter 
upon life is the one point to which all plans of educa- 
tion tend, and at which they all terminate, and to 
prepare them for that point is the object of their 
training. But is it not cruel thus to lay up for them 
a store of future wretchedness, by an education which 
has no period in view but one — a very short one — and 
the most unimportant and irresponsible of the whole 
life — the period between leaving school and mar- 
riage? "Who that has the power of choice would 
choose to buy the admiration of the world for a few 
short years, with the happiness of a whole life ?" 

Yet such is the training of many a daughter, too 
often for lifelong uselessness, perhaps lifelong discom- 
fort. And with such training, it must seem a marvel 
that homes are not the abodes of wretchedness more 
frequently than they are. There are, no doubt, 
many things to counteract these evils. The hard 
schooling of necessity — encountering the stern reali- 
ties of life, or the all-surpassing power of affection, 
may help to surmount many a trial, or supplement 



DAUGHTERS. 



151 



many a shortcoming. But parents who love their 
daughters should wisely consider the evils now 
named. Can they be reformed ? Then let them be 
so by the influence of Maternal Associations, or any 
other appliance to which the Word of God and the 
love of Christian mothers may direct. But are we 
chained down by some iron necessity ? Nothing less 
can exculpate us for continuing- the systems of train- 
ing which have too widely and too long prevailed. 
A single generation of Christian mothers, thoroughly, 
wisely, and resolutely alive to the right education of 
their daughters, would mitigate such abuses. That 
revolution must begin w T ith mothers — with such 
mothers as dare to be singular that their daughters 
may be happy — so singular as to prefer the solid to 
the showy, or the useful to the encumbering. " Let 
the period for training parents themselves arrive, 
especially of female education to qualify for maternal 
duty — and a family millennium would begin." 

But now, turning to the daughters themselves, one 
of their first duties at Home is to make their mother 
happy — to shun all that would pain or even perplex 
her, and the heart of that daughter is neither gentle 
nor generous who can ever forget what she owes to a 
mother's love. " Always seeking the pleasure of 
others, always careless of her own," is one of the 
finest encomiums ever pronounced upon a daughter. 
True : at that period of life when dreams are realities, 
and realities seem dreams, this may be forgotten. 
Mothers may find only labor and sorrow where they 
had a right to expect repose ; but the daughter who 
would make her home and her mother happy, should 



152 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



learn betimes that, next to duty to God our Saviour, 
comes duty to lier who is always the first to rejoice in 
our joy, and to weep when we weep. Of all the 
proofs of heartlessness which youth can give, the 
strongest is indifference to a mother's happiness or 
sorrow. 

We need expect none of these things, however, 
unless the truth as it is in J esus reign in the heart. 
Natural affection is lovely ; but one strong natural 
feeling may extinguish another ; and hence the love 
of folly may overlay the love of a mother even in a 
daughter's soul. It is the love of Christ constraining 
—that love which the Spirit of God produces, that 
must rectify or rule all, and without that the young 
heart is a ship without either pilot, helm, or sail. 

We should not neglect to mention here the neces- 
sity of attending to household economy in all its de- 
partments. There are wise sayings afloat which show 
how far such things are needed to make home happy, 
and the confusion, the discomfort, in some cases the 
poverty, or perhaps the bankruptcy of home, can be 
traced to the want of such humble household acquire- 
ments. The frivolous girl who could heartlessly oc- 
casion tears to her mother, will probably prove as 
heartless a wife, and will perhaps see into the depths 
of her folly only when her own misguided children 
retaliate upon her, with interest, the misery occa- 
sioned to her parent. At all events, the daughter who 
neglects the useful and the practical for the merely 
glaring in education, is preparing to be a burden or a 
plague. 

Friendship is another subject which should be con- 



DAUGHTERS. 



153 



sidered with care in regard to daughters. It is often 
tender and beautiful among them. Their ductile na- 
ture, and their kindly, genial feelings render their 
attachments warm, and it is one of the pleasures of 
life to mark the ardor with which one young soul often 
clings to another. Yet there is peril even here. Who 
has not seen the effects of too ardent friendships with 
ill-sorted natures ? Petulance or vanity has thus been 
fostered when it should have been repressed, and the 
root of the evil has been some flippant but admired 
friend. There are few who can review their youthful 
days, with a believer's eyes, without noticing or de- 
ploring such results of early friendship. 

Or farther : the intercourse of brothers and sisters 
forms another important element in the happy influ- 
ences of Home. A boisterous or a selfish boy may 
try to domineer over the weaker or more dependent 
girl, but generally the latter exerts a softening, sweet- 
ening charm. The brother animates and heartens; 
the sister mollifies, tames, refines. The vine-tree and 
its sustaining elm are the emblems of such a relation 
— and by such agencies, our " sons may become like 
plants grown up in their youth, and our daughters 
like corner-stones polished after the similitude of a 
temple." Among Lord Byron's early miseries, the 
terms on which he lived with his mother helped to 
sour the majestic moral ruin — he was chafed and dis- 
tempered thereby. The outbreaks of her passion, 
and the unbridled impetuosity of his, made their com- 
panionship uncongenial, and at length drove them 
far apart. But Byron found a compensating power 
in the friendship of his sister, .and to her he often 
1* 



154 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



turned amid his wanderings, or his misanthropy and 
guilt, as an exile turns to his home. "A world to 
roam in and a home with thee," were words which 
embodied the feelings of his void and aching heart, 
when all else that is lovely appeared to have faded 
away. He had plunged into the pleasures of sin till 
he was sated, wretched, and self-consumed — the very 
Sardanapalus of vice. But " his sister, his sweet sis- 
ter," still shone like the morning star of memory upon 
his dark soul. She had power when God appeared 
to have none, and such are the latent influences of 
Home, had we skill or tact to develop them. How 
true, then, the simple appeal — 

;i Thou hast thy mission, daughter mine, 
A joyous one it is — 
To light that happy home of thine 
With pure domestic bliss." 

On this subject another suggestion occurs, bearing 
upon the beatitude of Home. It frequently happens 
that the one or the other parent is left widowed and 
alone. Perhaps disease as well as sorrow darkens the 
closing days of the survivor, while poverty may con- 
summate the woe. Wow of all the sights of moral 
beauty which can meet the eye, one of the loveliest 
is to see a daughter foregoing all other pleasures that 
she may minister to such a stricken parent. She who 
fed her imprisoned father through the gratings of his 
dungeon, where he had been left to die, with the milk 
which should have nourished her child, stands forth 
in history as one of the queens of mankind ; but even 
in more lowly exhibitions of such affection, we may 
see much that is redeeming; and few can enter the 



DAUGHTERS. 



155 



abodes of sorrow, where such sights may be wit- 
nessed, without feeling that these spots are sacred. 
God is twice there. He is there in the sorrow or the 
malady, and there in the grace which soothes the 
aching heart, or fills up the void which death has oc- 
casioned. 

EXAMPLES. 

In these and other references to the right training 
of daughters, no allusion is made to the pratings 
about the " Eights of Woman," in which some have 
indulged. Mary Woljbtonecroft, for instance, became 
the champion of her sex, and said that woman was as 
competent as man to share the lofty functions which 
he arrogates, while physical strength is his only supe- 
riority. But her unhappy and ill-conditioned life did 
not enforce her claims, and the question which she 
raised would never have been heard had the Word 
of God been her guide. 

Trying, then, to make it ours, we observe that one 
of the most remarkable women that ever lived was 
Madame de Stael, the favorite of emperors and kings, 
and so influential that one who subdued the half of 
Europe did not feel at ease while she was at large in 
his empire. She was invited to sojourn at court after 
court during her exile; she was eulogized as one of 
the wonders of her age, and her genius and her pow- 
ers were such as left her no rival ; not a few deferred 
to Madame de Stael who would have deferred to none 
besides. 

Xow, among the strong feelings which regulated 
her conduct, and alternately convulsed and gladdened 



156 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



lier soul, was her love for her father. It was, indeed, 
a passion, and if ever a woman had an idol, Madame 
de Stael found one in him. Every thing connected 
with M. Is ecker was equally perfect in her eyes. The 
thought of losing him by death haunted her like a 
mania, and when he actually died, she seemed for 
a time a monomaniac indeed ; she fancied that her 
means of support had perished with him ; that her 
domestics had conspired to ruin her ; and felt as if the 
world had become a dreary abode since her father 
was removed. 

Now, such affection is beautiful exceedingly. To 
see a soul so strong swayed by a love so deep, becomes 
a model for imitation : were it common, this world 
would be happier, and our homes more blessed. It 
must be added, however, that there is little in the life 
of this affectionate daughter to show that she ever 
knew the religion of the New Testament, the faith of 
the " strong Son of God." Her filial affection was, 
in consequence, an impetuous passion rather than a 
holy principle ; hence the misery in which it ended. 
With all her genius and her fame, Madame de Stael 
is in some respects a beacon for daughters — she warns 
them what to shun. Reverence for her father's name, 
and strong desires for his earthly glory, were more 
influential in her mind than the love of oujr Father 
who is in heaven ; and such misplaced feelings can 
never lead to happiness. Nay, home must be wretch- 
ed — it is a blank, a void, when God our Saviour does 
not hold the first and highest place ; and all training, 
all discipline, or human affection which does not tend 
to that result, will perish like the things of earth. 



DAUGHTERS. 157 
* 

Again : in Isaac Taylor's Memoir of his sister, the 
story of another daughter is touchingly told. Her 
father was a physician, and died when his daughter 
was young. Her sole guardian, therefore, was her 
widowed mother, and she was not sufficiently decided 
to withstand the power of evil in the mind of an im- 
pulsive daughter. That daughter soon chose for her 
associates the godless and the gay, and cast aside the 
restraints of religion. She deemed them prejudices, 
and, in the pride which is ever based upon ignorance, 
claimed the right to " think for herself." In doing 
so, however, she forgot that her God had already 
both thought and decided for her ; and when she had 
once swerved from the 44 old paths," 64 the narrow 
w T ay," her moral descent was rapid. A father's mem- 
ory and a mother's wishes lost their power; they 
were like flax to flame when self-will goaded this 
daughter. She speedily grew strong in her contempt 
for the truth which her parents had taught her, as 
w r ell as for all who held it, and was manifestly in the 
toils of the Destroyer. Her new opinions operated 
like the poison cup of Circe, which transformed those 
who drank of it into beasts. She gradually became 
a sceptic, confessedly irreligious in her tastes and 
habits, and enamored at once of folly and of ruin. 
44 Masked Deism" took the place of the truth of God, 
and Reason was the only divinity that was owned, 
but owned only to be outraged. A mother's affec- 
tionate heart was consigned by that daughter to dis- 
tress, and a father's memory was trampled in the dust, 
that she might 44 think for herself" — that is, rush 
along the world's path. 



158 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



But an early deatli came to arrest her. She saw at 
length to what her opinions and her conduct tended, 
and died imploring her sisters to be " saved in God's 
way." The Bible, which had long been discarded, 
was resumed, and though the judgment day must 
come ere any one may pronounce on the eternal por- 
tion of Mira S , her case sheds a lurid light upon 

the path of daughters. How feeble is filial affection 
against the impetuous love of sin ! 

How sure the misery of her who rejects the coun- 
sels of a Christian mother ! 

How vain are all acquirements and all accomplish- 
ments and gifts, when the mind of the world is pre- 
ferred to the mind of the Redeemer ! 

In the komes where such misguided daughters 
dwell, to what can their conduct lead but woe and 
lamentation, to broken hearts, and blighted hopes, and 
ruined souls, to parents smitten to the dust — perhaps 
hurried by grief to the grave ? 



MASTERS. 



159 



CHAPTEE XH. 

MASTERS. 

Disorganization of Society — Consequent Evils — The Remedy — Scriptural Views of 
a Master's Duty — Moses — The Prophets — The New Testament — Mercenary 
Ties — Their Results — Maxims for Masters — Examples — Abraham and his 
Household — A Servant's Monument — John Howard— Philip Henry. 

Half the social evils of our day would be remedied 
were the relations between the different classes of so- 
ciety put right. On the one hand, there is often a 
haughty insolence, as if inferiors in rank were also 
inferiors in nature and destiny. On the other hand, 
there is as often a scowling defiance or a lawless ag- 
gression, as if the rich were a legitimate prey to the 
poor. In this manner society is dislocated and dis- 
tempered ; it seems to bleed at many a pore. A wide 
gulf is placed between those who should be mutually 
aiding, and neither of whom can dispense with the 
other. It has become the great question of our day 
how this overgrown evil can be remedied ; and phi- 
lanthropists of the highest type, with some nobles of 
the land, aided by royalty itself, have lent their as- 
sistance to solve the social problem. 

But we now point to a remedy which would widely 
succeed or supersede all others, were men wise enough 
to adopt it. That remedy simply is — work out the 
will of God in our homes, or take advantage of the 
domestic constitution. We undervalue no right ap- 
pliance for accomplishing a right end, and would en- 



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THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



list every agency wliich a wise benevolence can 
suggest; but all antidotes to our social evils will 
prove superficial and abortive if they ignore the di- 
vine method, and therefore leave the root of the evil 
untouched. All merely local treatment will prove 
deceptive. What is needed is a radical, an organic, 
a constitutional treatment — the change must begin in 
men's homes ; and not merely so, but must moreover 
be directed by the will and the wisdom of God. 

And the great fountain i of all social truth — the 
Word of God — is very explicit as to the duties of 
masters. In what is perhaps the most ancient book 
in the world — the History of Job — we find a beauti- 
ful illustration of this. That patriarch, amid the 
anguish which he endured, once exclaimed : " If I did 
despise the cause of my man-servant or of my maid- 
servant, when they contended with me ; what then 
shall I do when God riseth up ? and when he visiteth, 
what shall I answer him?"* The much-tried man 
thus recognizes two important principles in the heav- 
enly jurisprudence: first, the equal rights of all ; and 
secondly, the fact that there is a righteous judge of 
all ; and were these two truths habitually ascendant, 
home would be happy ; our social distempers would 
be diminished ; a thorough remedy would be found 
for many an evil which now eats as doth a canker. 

But we have explicit legislation upon this subject, 
for Moses carefully enacted thus : " Thou shalt not 
oppress an hired servant that is poor and needy, 
whether he be of thy brethren, or of thy strangers 
that are in thy land within thy gates : At his day 

* Jo 1 ) xxxi. 13, 14. 



MASTERS. 



101 



thou slialt give him his hire, neither shall the sun go 
down upon it ; for he is poor, and setteth his heart 
upon it : lest he cry against thee unto the Lord, and 
it be sin unto thee."* Now every thing here is in 
perfect keeping with the religion of love : it is tender, 
considerate, and thoroughly fitted to harmonize the 
relation between superior and inferior. There is no 
haughty disregard of the interests of the poor, no re- 
pelling them as if they might safely be trodden down 
or treated only as serfs. Nay, their comfort is to be 
consulted from day to day ; and just as we are not to 
let the sun go down upon our wrath, we are not to 
let him set upon us in debt to the hired servant whose 
wages are due. 

And when we pass from Moses to the prophets, w r e 
find one of them exclaiming, " Woe unto him who 
. . useth his neighbors service without wages, and 
giveth him not for his work ;"f or when we advance 
into the New Testament, we hear Inspiration once 
more exclaim, "Behold the hire of the laborers who" 
have reaped down your fields, w T hich is of you kept 
back by fraud, crieth : and the cries of them w T hich . 
have reaped are entered into the ears of the Lord of 
Sabaoth.'^ Now every thing here is fitted again to 
rectify much of what is wrong in our social life, to 
sweeten the intercourse of man with man, to lighten 
the burden of toil, and wipe the brow which is often 
wet, in terms of the primal sentence against fallen 
man.§ If men be disunited by selfishness, and if the 
strong be prone to oppress and overbear the weak, 



* Deuteronomy xxiv. 14, 15. 
+ James v. 4. 



f Jeremiah xxii. 13. 
§ Genesis iii. 19. 



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THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



here is an antidote to that tendency : here is a medi- 
cating maxim in that religion which came^to set up 
an empire of love, and knit men together once more 
in a holy brotherhood under the sceptre of the Prince 
of Peace. 

Or, more explicit still : in epistle after epistle, and 
maxim after maxim, the duties of masters are pre- 
scribed. Remembering that the same Lord is over 
them and their servants, they are to " give what is 
just and equal," they are to " forbear threatening," 
they are " to continue in prayer" as the means of 
sweetening and sanctifying all,* and recognizing the 
interdependence of man upon man — of even the 
highest upon the lowest — all is to be done as under the 
eye of the supreme Lord, w T ith the great white throne 
of judgment in view. 

But how different from the spirit of these divine 
directions is the deportment of many a master ! His 
relation to his servants may be of a merely mercenary 
nature, where all feeling of obligation is too often 
destroyed. Mutual confidence does not exist. The 
soul of the inferior is not cared for by the superior ; 
and if they were creatures of another species, servants 
could not, in many a case, be more thoroughly neg- 
lected than they sometimes are. Because of such 
things the land mourneth. The divine constitution 
of Home is violated, and out of that violation an ever- 
widening and a noxious stream of social evils springs. 

True : there are godly Homes, w r here servants are 
cared for, and where masters feel their responsibility for 
the souls of their domestics, as they do for those of their 

* Ephesians vi. 9 ; Colossians iv. 1, 2. 



MASTERS. 



163 



children. The misconduct of a servant is there felt 
to be a household sin, and as such is both corrected 
and deplored.* The Scriptures are explained to pre- 
vent such things. Duty is carefully taught, and the 
burden of toil is alleviated by the pains which are 
taken to point the souls of all to glory and to God. 
Masters and servants there read together from a com- 
mon statute-book — they kneel before the same throne 
— they pray or appeal to the same God and Saviour, 
and these are the dwellings of the righteous, upon 
which the blessing of God descends like the dew. 

But are not such Homes the exceptions ? Is it not 
true that many a servant may enter upon an engage- 
ment — may fulfil it, and see it expire, and never be- 
hold the head of that household bow the knee to God, 
or offer one suggestion to guide his domestics ? They 
might indeed be devoid of souls for him, and by such 
neglect evil is perpetuated — it is both deepened and 
spread. Masters defraud their servants of that care 
and that counsel regarding eternity which are their 
due ; and, though it be sad and sinful, it is natural 
that such servants should retaliate. Employers are 
thus plundered, and their property made a prey. 

But far more than what is just and equal, in a ma- 
terial sense, is due by a master to his servant. He 
owes him kindliness, for both of them are men. He 

* On one occasion, the Rev. Henry Venn overheard a violent 
quarrel between two of his servants. Family prayers were thereupon 
discontinued, for in that spirit they would have been mockery on the 
part of those who were at strife. During their suspension, Mr. Term's 
deportment bespoke the deepest concern, and for two days of that week 
he remained in his study alone, engaged in fasting and prayer. Sin was 
there the " abominable thing." 



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THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



owes him an affectionate interest in his welfare, and 
society must continue distempered to the core where 
such maxims do not reign. It is only under their 
guidance that our Homes can be freed from whatever 
is haughty and oppressive, and there is retribution in 
the disquietude or the injury which unprincipled do- 
mestics often occasion. That follows from the treat- 
ment which they too frequently receive, just as the 
thunder-rod attracts the lightning ; and though serv- 
ants are guilty, in all cases, for encroaching by a jot 
or a tittle, upon what is their master's, the world must 
be guided by other principles than those which now 
prevail, ere ungodly superiors can expect aught but 
retaliation from ungodly inferiors. And the misery 
is deepened by the fact, that conscientious masters 
not seldom become the prey of servants who have ac- 
quired expertness in deception in homes where no 
moral restraint was known. All this eats like rust 
into the heart of society, and will continue to eat, 
till our abodes become what God in his Word design- 
ed them to be, namely, places where a Church assem- 
bles, and where prayer is wont to be made. 

In glancing at this subject, the following appear to 
be the rules which should guide the intercourse of a 
master with his servant : 

1. He is to realize the fact that he has a Master in 
heaven. He must stand at last at a tribunal where 
there is no respect of persons, and answer for his con- 
duct in this relation, as in all besides. 

2. A master is to give to his servant what is just 
and equal. That can be enforced by human law, 
much more by the divine ; and the Scriptures abound 



MASTERS. 



165 



with frequent warnings against the violation of the 
rule. 

But, 3. " The just and the equal" imply far more 
than merely the wages which were promised in return 
for the servant's liberty, his time, and his strength. It 
is just and equal that the master should care for the 
servant's soul, should cautiously beware of interfering 
with his freedom of conscience, and should watch 
over his eternal interests, as a member of the family, 
instead of regarding him as a stranger, a foreigner, or 
a chattel. Never can Home be happy — for never can 
it be in harmony with the mind of God, unless these 
be done. 

4. No master need marvel though servants neglect 
their duty to him, if he neglects these duties to them. 
They are born for other destinies, whatever the lordly 
may think, than to be mere hewers of wood and draw- 
ers of water for their fellow- creatures ; and if they be 
treated only as such, outraged nature will take re- 
venge — not seldom a wild and a lawless one. When 
masters are plundered, or perhaps murdered, by their 
servants, the desire is often felt to know whether those 
masters had done their duty and told their domestics 
of eternity — of responsibility to God and to their fel- 
low-men, or whether such things had been neglected 
in their homes.* 

* Allusion might here have been made to the practice, all too com- 
mon, of giving characters to servants, in which there is a suppression 
of truth — if not an assertion of falsehood — a practice which cannot 
but tend to evil to all the parties who are concerned. 



166 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



EXAMPLES. 

A perfect illustration of a master's duty may bo 
found in the case of Abraham.* That he should com- 
mand his children after him to fear his God, was not 
very wonderful, for human affection or the parental 
tie binds us, in one sense, to perform that duty. But 
he commanded his " household" also— and we know 
that it must have consisted of hundreds. The father 
of the faithful was an Eastern emir, a prince among 
the people, and his retinue was royal. All these, 
however, Abraham commanded. " The way of the 
Lord" was his own guide : he made it also theirs ; 
and thus duty was done, for responsibility was felt. 
He did not fall into the error of expecting others to 
do what was right to him while he did what was 
wrong to them ; and had Abraham lived in our day, 
the outcry which is heard so often against unfaithful 
servants would not have been increased by him. No 
doubt, the complaints of many a Home regarding the" 
deceptions, the hypocrisies, and the dishonesty of 
servants betray some deep-seated disease, but they do 
not explain the cause of it ; and masters, to some ex- 
tent at least, have the cure in their own hands. Let 
them act, then, as Abraham did, and lead their house- 
hold in the way of God ; let them care for souls — let 
master and servant together honor the one Master who 
is in heaven — then will the sore evil begin to be rem- 
edied — a balm will be applied to a deep and a bleed- 
ing wound. 

But on the other hand, are such things ignored? Is 

* Gen. xviii. 19. 



MASTERS. 



167 



the example of Abraham recorded and commended in 
vain ? Do masters suppose that their duty is done 
when they have given food, shelter, wages, and, per- 
haps, a livery to their servants ? Is the soul uncared 
for and untaught? Then let no masters wonder 
though their property be pillaged without a check 
from that conscience which they take no pains to edu- 
cate. If they unite with their servants in dishonoring 
God, is it wonderful though these servants retaliate 
by dishonoring such a master? Let God get his 
proper place in our homes, and righteousness will be- 
gin to preside over all. 

Farther : in one of those beautiful cemeteries which 
surround the metropolis of Scotland, like a chain of 
forts erected by Death to make sure that none shall 
escape, a very humble headstone, bearing the follow- 
ing inscription, may be found among more pretentious 
monuments : 

THIS STONE WAS ERECTED 
BY JAMES CARNEG-IE, ESQ., 

IN MEMORY 
OF THE FAITHFUL SERVICES 
OF JEAN BURNS 
IN HIS FAMILY, 
FOR A PERIOD OF UPWARDS 
OF FORTY YEARS. 

Now, such a monument stands forth like a relic of 
times and habits long passed away. It speaks of 
kindness and regard upon the one side, of duty and 
respect upon the other. There is, as there should be, 
no blending of ranks, no effacing of distinctions, no 
Utopian socialism, such as the lawless delight to pro- 
claim. A servant is a servant by the appointment of 



168 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



Him who made a master a master. But that servant 
is regarded as a member of the household; her soul is 
cared for in common with those of all the inmates ; 
and were such a medicating power introduced into 
all our homes, society would become both sounder 
and happier. The good old rule of family catechising 
would be followed by family affection.* There would 
be a genial flow T of kindness downward to those who 
are in providence below, and as kindly a response of 
loving, dutiful obedience upward to those who are in 
providence above. 

And this is no theory. It is well known, for ex- 
ample, that John Howard and his servant were in 
some respects knit to each other like brothers. Their 
devotions, like their perils, were in common, during 
their strange and eventful wanderings ; and they often 
felt the full blessedness of the assurance, " wherever' 
two or three are met together, there am I in the midst 
of you." But it would be difficult to find a better 
illustration of the faithful discharge of a masters 
duties than the case of Philip Henry supplies. His 
servants were cared for, taught, prayed with, warned, 
or encouraged just as his children were. Every do- 
mestic, and every sojourner, when they first entered 
his family, had a special prayer offered on their be- 
half, according to their peculiar condition ; they were 
solemnly dedicated to God ; and that man, so great 
in his goodness, was in this respect, as in many others, 
a model to be copied with care. 

At the same time all this tenderness implied no 

* One of the names given by our forefathers to family worship was 
significant. It was called Family Order. 



MASTERS. 



169 



connivance at what was wrong in the conduct of 
Henry's inferiors. He had at one period a man- 
servant whom he saw intoxicated. The offender was 
solemnly warned of his sin, and forgiveness for it was 
as solemnly implored ; but soon after the transgres- 
sion, the master and the servant separated, and amid 
such principles and such painstaking, some received 
impressions under Henry's roof which went with 
them into eternity. They blessed God that his house 
had ever been their home, because they were there 
prepared for the services of the sanctuary on high. 
He acted, indeed, like David, and would not let the 
worker of iniquity dwell with him, unless the delin- 
quent were also a penitent ; yet few of Henry's serv- 
ants ever left his home till they went to their own as 
married people, and so kindly was his rule over them 
all, that after some of them had become widows, they 
" returned to his service again, saying, ' Master, it is 
good for us to be here.' " Were such procedure 
general on the part of masters, as the Word of God 
requires, the sorrows of servitude would be lessened, 
its temptations would be fewer, and the complaints, 
now so numerous and loud, regarding the unfaithful- 
ness of servants, would cease to be heard. Masters, 
we repeat again and again, have the cure in their own 
hands. Let the Word of God preside over all our 
homes, and then even the ungodly may at least be 
shamed into integrity and truth. 



170 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



CHAPTEE XHL 

SERVANTS. 

The Bible and its Beauties — The Laws of Britain — The Law of G-od — Eoman Fish- 
pools — The Saviour in the form of a Servant — The Lessons of Scripture — Serv- 
ants of Christ — Adorning Christ's Doctrine — A Servant's Trials — And Eich- 
ness— Eules for Servants— 1. Be Honest— 2. Be Truthful— 3. Be Courteous— 
4. Be Economical — 5. Be no Tale-bearer — 6. Serve the Lord Christ — Examples, 
Euth Clark — Other Servants. 

If it be beautiful to see the various tints of the 
autumn landscape, or the blended yet distinct hues 
of the rainbow, or the diversified yet always lovely 
flowers of summer, it is not less pleasing to the moral 
eye to trace the exquisite and endlessly varied adapta- 
tions of Scripture to the different classes and charac- 
ters of men. Kings upon the throne, and peasants 
in their cabin — the lordly and the menial — the mil- 
lionaire and the pauper — the man who grasps a 
baton and he who wields a hammer — are equally 
cared for, equally taught their duty, equally warned 
of their danger, or equally encouraged amid the diffi- 
culties of their lot. The same Omniscience plans : 
the same Omnipotence executes — for the rich and the 
poor meet together, and the Lord is the disposer of 
them all. The statutes of Great Britain are said to 
fill twenty folio volumes, besides the endless prece- 
dents and decisions which constitute our Common 
Law. But the legislation of heaven is all contained 
in one little volume, which can be easily carried 



SERVANTS. 



171 



about our persons ; nay, that legislation is condensed 
into ten commandments, called, "The ten words of 
God," — which at once describe, and, in principle, 
define, the duties of all in every age, in every land 
and rank. 

But there are still finer shades of beauty in the 
heavenly legislation. It is very definite in regard to 
the condition of servants ; for the Spirit of love, who 
gave us the Bible, knew that their lot is often a hard 
one. When the Christian's book was written, they 
might even be slaves—the purchased property of 
their masters, who could, in some cases, doom them to 
death, without a challenge or a charge. He who has 
visited the remains of the Fish-pools on the shores of 
the Mediterranean near Naples, where the ancient 
voluptuaries of Home are said to have fed their fav- 
orite fish with the flesh of slaves, will at once under- 
stand how dark must have been the lot of many a 
servant, about the time when the New Testament was 
written. 

Now the Spirit of love knew all these things, and 
there are tokens of such knowledge in many a passage 
of His book. Where trials abound, the antidote is 
as copiously supplied, and there are lessons upon les- 
sons for servants, designed to elevate and soothe the 
soul, whatever might befall the body. Some touch- 
ing portions of Scripture are accordingly addressed to 
this class. To console, to cheer, and purify, they are 
spoken of in language such as occurs in no other case. 

For, first, the Saviour of the lost " took on him the 
form of a servant." None so lowly, but he is down 
at their level — none so despised, but he was yet more 



172 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



so. In all depths, in all disrespects, in all hours of 
trial, servants may be solaced by the thought — " So- 
cially, the Redeemer was as I am ; he became poor 
for his people's sake, — so poor that he had not where 
to lay his head." 

But, secondly, the Word of God is very explicit in 
announcing, and as cogent in enforcing, the duty of 
servants ; it is done in line upon line, by precept upon 
precept, and among the crowd of considerations which 
commend the Word to the warm welcome of men, its 
painstaking in this respect is one. " Servants," it 
says, " be obedient to them that are your masters 
according to the flesh, w^ith fear and trembling, in 
singleness of your heart, as unto Christ ; not with eye- 
service, as men-pleasers ; but as the servants of Christ, 
doing the will of God from the heart ; with good- will 
doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men : know- 
ing, that whatsoever good thing any man doeth, the 
same shall he receive of the Lord, whether he be bond 
or free."* Again — " Servants, obey in all things 
your masters according to the flesh ; not with eye- 
service as men-pleasers, but in singleness of heart, 
fearing God : and whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as 
to the Lord, and not unto men ; knowing that of the 
Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance : 
for ye serve the Lord Christ. Bat he that doeth 
wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath 
done: and there is no respect of persons."! And 
once more — " Exhort servants to be obedient unto 
their own masters, and to please them well in,, all 
things ; not answering again ; not purloining, but 

* Eph. vi. 5-8. f CoL m - 22-25. 



SERVANTS. 



173 



showing all good fidelity; that they may adorn the 
doctrine of God our Saviour in all things."* 

And while the Scriptures are thus urgent regarding 
the duties of domestics, we should not fail to mark 
what is said to elevate their position — " Ye serve the 
Lord Christ," has surely that tendency. High above 
all human contracts, binding as these are, is a Chris- 
tian servant's relation to his heavenly Master, upon 
heavenly terms. He has bestowed liberty upon the 
soul, and, as its Emancipator, he is to be honored and 
served. 

Or, more signal still, servants are enjoined so to act 
as to " adorn the doctrine of God our Saviour in all 
things." As if they could paint the lily or adorn the 
rose ; as if they could add some ornament to what is 
already altogether lovely, they are to live, and serve, 
and obey, so as to throw some additional attraction 
around the truth which Jesus taught. We say no- 
thing of Paul's Epistle regarding Onesimus, a run- 
away slave who was converted by the Apostle's 
means, and then sent back, a spiritual freeman to 
Philemon : and only observe, that if servants can 
adorn Christ's doctrine, and so commend it to others, 
theirs is no lot to be despised. In the view of Heaven, 
they have, in truth, a holy mission to fulfil. No 
doubt, some servants care so little for these things 
that they do not scruple to forsake a home where God 
is worshipped and feared, for one where he is not — 
their sole inducement being some poor addition to 
their hire ; and no one can suppose that such servants 
are in earnest abo.ut salvation, or care for the doctrine 

* Titus ii. 9. 10. 



174 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



of God our Saviour.* But that, by contrast, only 
adds fresh beauty to the Bible, with its wise direc- 
tions, and merciful as wise. 

But farther ; the providence of God combines with 
His Word to shed light upon the position of servants. 
Society is so constituted that the happiness of home 
is generally at their mercy ; for their waywardness 
spreads universal dispeace, while, on the other hand, 
servants who fear God have sometimes brought a hal- 
lowing influence into the homes where they dwell. 
They have exercised a silent but subduing power, and 
awed ungodly masters into deference at least, if not 
into sympathy. God may choose weak things to 
confound the mighty, and his purposes may thus be 
promoted by unlikely means. The beautiful consist- 
ency of a religious life, even in the lowliest sphere, 
cannot but impress or disarm, if it do not actually 
win. 

"Withal, however, we do not forget the trials to 
which servants are often exposed. The petulance of 
youth combines not seldom with the imperiousness of 
riper years to pain them. In some cases, positive in- 
sult, in studied and deliberate forms ; in others, thank- 
lessness ; in others, exactions such as no human 
strength could comply with ; in others, caprice, fret- 
fulness, and peevishness all combine to tax both energy 
and patience ; and who will wonder if patience some- 

* A Christian lady says—" We have been tried from time to time by 
the evident discontent of our servants with our Sabbath arrangements, 
and their anxiety to go out to evening sermons, though they all enter our 
service knowing that this indulgence is contrary to our rules. To rule 
a household well and find means of doing good to servants, seems to 
me the most difficult problem in family life." 



SERVANTS. 



175 



times have not its perfect work ? Some ill-conditioned 
youth may thoughtlessly occasion an amount of toil 
and trouble which is felt to be a tax indeed. When 
orders are issued with a vehemence and velocity which 
would require the eyes of Argos, and the hands of 
Briareus to meet them all, such grievances are hard 
to endure. Or when a superior assumes a haughty 
tone, and acts as if inferiors had flesh and blood only 
to be worn away for him, that trial also is often well 
nigh intolerable, and to hear only murmurs when 
every effort has been made, is not less depressing. 
But when godly servants read the words, " answering 
not again," they will lay the hand upon the mouth 
and be silent. When they read farther, " Servants, 
be obedient to your masters ; not only to the good 
and gentle, but, also, to the froward,"* they will learn 
a deeper lesson still ; and regard their trials as part 
of the discipline designed to prepare them for the 
home where the last may be first forever. 

Nor should servants decline other sources of conso- 
lation under their peculiar trials. "Few classes" — a 
friend of this order has said — " Few classes in modern 
society are so rich as domestic servants. You have 
no rent, no rates to pay ; you need buy neither coal, 
nor candle, nor food, nor (clothing excepted) any of 
those commodities which daily tax the householder ; 
and though your income is small, you yourself are 
rich, for you might easily save the half of it. Sad 
pity that so many squander on treats or useless 
trinkets the wages for which they work so hard ! 
Would it not be nobler to do as some have done, and 

* 1 Pet, ii. 18. 



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THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



educate a nephew or a young brother? or do as 
others have done, and maintain in comfort an infirm 
or an aged parent ? And would it not be wiser to 
lay up a good foundation against the coming time, 
and by putting aside a monthly or a yearly sum, to 
build a bulwark betwixt yourself and future pov- 
erty "* We have known servants not a few 

who had learned to act on these maxims, and in the 
case of some at least, have seen reason to think better 
of fallen man by the refreshing beauty of their exam- 
ple. Some of the most touching scenes in a pastor's 
life, which is fast becoming a long one, have derived 
their moral loveliness from such a source. 

Though it is not designed to furnish here any 
detailed directory for a servant's duty, but only to 
indicate the great maxims by which God over all 
would guide that class and every other, yet at this 
point, one or two suggestions may be submitted for 
their guidance. 

And, first. Be ever honest — sternly, strictly honest. 
The veriest trifle, which belongs to your master, can- 
not, of course, belong to you, except by his clear and 
unequivocal gift. You do not need to purloin some 
precious gem, or some much-prized volume, or some 
coveted garment, to constitute yourselves dishonest 
and unchristian. Nay, pilfer, and you have already 
begun to pillage ; appropriate any trifle, and you are 
at heart a thief. Do not forget it, for it is the truth 
of God. Had He swerved by only a jot or a tittle 
from His holy law in redeeming sinners, He would 
have become the unholy. But He did not. His law 

* u The Happy Home," by Dr. James Hamilton. 



SERVANTS. 



177 



in every fragment was upheld ; the Saviour magnified 
it all, and the same principle should regulate the 
conduct of man to man. He that is faithful in that 
which is least, is faithful also in that which is great. 

Secondly. Be truthful — at all times, and at all 
hazards, be truthful, and remember the welcome 
which awaits the " good and faithful servant" at the 
final day. This, and some other duties relate not 
merely to the intercourse of master and servant, but 
also of one servant with another ; and the fear of God 
should regulate every relation or preside over every 
duty. Bear in mind, then, that it was a lie that 
ruined our world. It is by lies that he who was a 
liar from the beginning perpetuates his own reign, 
and therefore man's misery ; and you gave painful 
evidence that you are already in his power, if you can 
be a deceiver for any purpose whatever. On the other 
hand, your integrity is your own wealth and honor, 
while it is your family's renown. Between master 
and servant, truth is a sacred bond : between servant 
and servant it is peace ; it sweetens and it strengthens 
all ; it is sunbeams alike in the cottage and the castle, 
while to rank among liars is to share the character of 
the meanest. 

Thirdly. Be courteous. The rude and the insolent 
are always the shunned. Never forget, then, the 
counsel of the wisest man — " He that waiteth on his 
master shall be honored ;" and you have the highest 
authority for counting your master worthy of all 
honor. Since the religion of the Saviour enjoins us 
to be courteous, "the golden coin of courtesy" should 
circulate freely, and your religion is not thoroughly 



178 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



His, if you forget what is due either to your master 
or to your fellow-servants. 

Fourthly. Be economical. A minister of religion, 
more remarkable for his wit than his knowledge of 
Christ's gospel, once asked — " Have you ever ob- 
served what a dislike servants have to anything 
cheap ? They hate saving their employer's money." 
Now, there is truth in the witticism, and no observer 
can have failed to notice how lavish servants often 
are, or how rarely they use their master's means as 
carefully as they would use their own. And in such 
a case, profusion is dishonesty. A servant who 
makes God's religion his guide, will watch with scru- 
pulous care over all that belongs to his employer. 
He will remember that, in one sense, a servant is a 
trustee, and that when he is lavish he violates a trust, 
and is therefore dishonest and something more. 
Enthrone right principle, then, in the heart, and let 
it be seen and read by all men, that principle in your 
heart is a better guarantee than locks and keys. 

Fifthly. Be no tale-hearer. Beware how you bla- 
zon abroad what is done or spoken in the house 
which has become your home. The idle busy-body, 
the " lips of talkers," the malicious, and all who de- 
light in scandal, or in mischief, will welcome such 
intelligence, and gloat over it like an epicure over a 
dainty. But it is, in truth, the carrion of the mind, 
and they are the vultures or the ravens of society who 
feed on it. Let that be far from you, if you profess 
to be Christian servants. 

Finally, and as the keystone of all — Serve the Lord 
Christ That is the all-pervasive rule — it is omni- 



SERVANTS, 



179 



present, like him to whom it refers. Neglect it, and 
prove that you are none of his — obey it, and be both 
honored and blessed. Oh, how happy might our 
homes become, what crowds of troubles would be for- 
ever dislodged, did servants remember that Christ's 
eye is ever upon them, that his will should always 
guide them, and that he will judge all at last for the 
deeds done in the body ! The soul, kept thus in 
harmony with God, would be in training for the 
harmonies of the better world. In a word, all truth 
upon this subject may be thus presented in compend. 
You are either the servants of Christ or the slaves of 
sin. Decide, then, between the two, by a holy and 
consistent walk ; and rest assured that if you profess 
to belong to the Church of Christ, the eyes of the 
world are fixed upon you to watch the answer which 
your conduct gives to the question — " What do ye 
more than others P 5 

Among the tokens which prove that right principle 
is not, in our day, ascendant in society, the relation 
between master and servant is not the least painful : 
Some medicating influence is loudly demanded 
there. It has degenerated into a merely mercenary 
tie — a month is often its stipulated duration : sullen 
servitude, on the one side, and harsh exaction on the 
other, is its character, and all these things indicate a 
distempered and ill-conditioned state. ]STow right- 
minded men should set their faces like flint against 
this. If one party cannot confide in another for 
longer than a month, better far that the tie were 
never formed ; and the master who understands his 
own interests, or would arrest the downward ten- 



180 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



dency, will oppose this practice as a snare and a 
peril ; he will understand that a Christian domestic 
is a priceless blessing, a real benefactor to the house- 
hold, even though its head should wear a coronet, and 
with that conviction, will oppose every thing that 
tends to deteriorate or degrade that order. 

EXAMPLES. 

The name of Ruth Clark is familiarly known to 
many as that of an eminently pious domestic. She 
lost both her parents about her ninth year, but even 
then she had begun to work for her own support, and 
when she was about ten years of age, her ingenuity 
and enterprise were the means of supporting her 
orphan brothers and sisters. At the age of twelve, 
she entered formally upon service ; though she con- 
tinued for some time thereafter an unthinking, a 
frivolous, and a strong-passioned girl. 

Ruth saw at length, however, that whatever would 
impede her course to a happy eternity must be aban- 
doned, and by the grace of God she did it. About 
her twentieth year, she entered into the service of a 
godly minister; and though she was then destitute 
of all serious thoughts — so that even the worship of 
the family was regarded by her as a bondage — that 
home became the new birth-place of her soul. It was 
the death of her mistress which first arrested this 
godless woman ; and after many attempts to reform 
and repent in her own strength, the injunctions of 
her dying mistress were at length made a blessing. 
She was guided into the way of peace. Old habits 
were put away by Ruth — new and better paths were 



SERVANTS. 



181 



chosen, and she thenceforward grew in grace until her 
dying day. 

And while she thus felt her obligations to her God, 
this servant did not neglect her duty to her earthly 
master. On the contrary, she was laborious, pains- 
taking, and scrupulously faithful in the smallest mat- 
ters. Through a service of thirty years' duration, she 
was never once suspected of dishonesty. She punc- 
tiliously kept her own place as a servant — that is, she 
respected both others and herself ; for, with the Word 
of God as her guide, she had learned to honor all to 
whom honor is due. 

Now the secret of all this was, that Ruth Clark had 
become a strictly religious woman — " the Lord was 
about her path" — and she was therefore strong. His 
Word was her constant companion : she redeemed 
time to peruse it — and sought with great earnestness 
the salvation of ail to whom she was related. Four 
nephews and nieces, who had been left destitute as 
she herself once was, she undertook to provide for. 
Moreover, she "considered the poor," according to 
the mind of her Lord, and was ingenious in con- 
trivances to meet their wants. As the result, her 
memory was blessed, for, five-and-twenty years after 
she had left one of her homes, she was still spoken 
of there as "the wonderful servant, who seemed the 
mother of the whole parish." 

But affliction at length became her lot, and her 
conduct then was what her life had promised. After 
the death of her revered master, the Rev. Henry 
Venn, Ruth was placed in a comfortable home. A 
life-long competency was provided for her, and she 



1S2 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



continued her work of .faith for her Lord as long as 
she was able. While she was thus employed, her 
path shone more and more unto the perfect day ; and 
she went down to the grave at last, honored as a serv- 
ant of Christ in spirit and in truth. Her master had 
often thanked God for the privilege of having Bath 
Clark for his servant, and once said to his children — 
" Euth is my servant here, but if your father is found 
at her feet at the Great Day, his place will not be a 
low one ;" and as he who knew her best thus respected 
her most, so she commanded from others the homage 
which is sometimes paid to godliness even by ungodly 
men. 

Or we might refer to the case of other servants, 
who, though not so signal in their godliness as Euth 
Clark, were yet servants of Christ indeed. Sick of 
sin, and fleeing to the Physician — jaded in the world, 
and appealing to Him who is still greater than it — 
feeble, helpless, lost, but looking in their feebleness to 
Him who came to seek the lost, they have been made 
to triumph over sin. Earthly masters have prized 
and honored them, because the love of Christ was 
the governing maxim in the souls of such servants, 
and as their hearts were right with God, their hands 
were upright to man. But the case of Euth Clark 
may exemplify all that need be said upon this subject. 
It is not lowly birth, it is not daily toil that degrades, 
just as it is not lordly birth that really ennobles. It 
is a life of sin that debases ; it is a life of holiness 
that dignifies ; and where servants lead that life, they 
will be honored probably by man, but certainly by 
Him before whom "there is neither bond nor free," 



SERVANTS. 



183 



for all are " one in Christ." Ruth Clark was buried 
in the same grave with her honored master — so that, 
living and dying, her case exemplified the remark, 
that " no man will despise the situation of a well-be- 
haved servant, but a wicked man, or a fool." 



184 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



CHAPTEE XIV. 

THE NURSE AND THE NURSERY. 

First Impressions — Keasonable Expectations — Disappointment — The Child's First 
World — Its Importance — 111 qualified Nurses — Common Practices in Nurseries 
— Godly Nurses — Wise to win the Young — Mothers should themselves be 
Nurses — Examples — Kebecca's Nurse — Erena ■ . 

The nursery and its inmates form so important a 
part of Home, that they deserve or demand a sepa- 
rate consideration. 

~No man can look back npon his past history with- 
out remembering how deep and indelible were his 
first impressions. The first sight of a corpse has pro- 
duced a solemnity of feeling which has gone with 
some from infancy to the grave. The first glimpse 
of the sea in boyhood has continued a cherished 
recollection through life. The first fish caught by the 
youthful angler has always seemed the most beauti- 
ful ; and just as the first-fruits of the Jewish harvest 
were consecrated as a thank-offering for all the rest, 
the first impressions made in our earliest years con- 
tinue to influence us powerfully all through life. In the 
strength of this principle it has been said, that a cir- 
cumnavigator of our globe is less influenced by all 
the nations he has seen than by his nurse. 

And, in the strength of that principle also, it might 
be supposed that every mother who has the power, 
would strictly watch the character of her children's 



THE NURSE AND THE NURSERY. 185 

nurse. At a stage when every look, and word, and 
gesture makes a deep impression — when biases are 
given, when prejudices are created, and enduring as- 
sociations formed — surely the utmost circumspection 
might be expected, lest these looks or tones should 
be hostile to what is pure, and lovely, and good. 
Missionaries tell us how much they need to watch 
against the deadening tendencies of the idolatries 
which reign around them ; and can children be 
aught but injured by guides or guardians who are 
unprincipled or unchristian ? Yet explain it as we 
may, it often happens that infants are placed in 
the hands of nurses who have trampled upon God's 
law themselves, and who have shown no penitence 
for their fall. Risks are thus heedlessly incurred 
which may end in ruin, and which perhaps explain 
some of the precocious sins of the inmates of a nursery. 

That nursery is the child's first world. It is there 
that the most lasting lessons are learned. In that mi- 
crocosm deceit is fostered or truth is taught ; passion 
is pampered or it is subdued ; selfishness is restrained 
or it is indulged ; and, amid such budding tendencies, 
at such impressible moments, how firm in principle, 
how sound in the faith, how wise, and how loving, 
ought a nurse to be ! The soul should be an object 
of affection, even as Christ loved it. The power of 
r sin upon the one hand, and the need of grace upon 
the other, should be known by the nurse. But amid 
the thousands who are annually employed in that 
capacity, there is reason to fear that, in cases not a 
few, not one earnest inquiry is made regarding the 
personal religion of her to whom the young immor- 



186 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



tal is about to be intrusted, both by day and by 
night, during some of the most seminal years of ex- 
istence. 

And thus, again, do we detect another violation of 
the constitution which God has assigned to Home. A 
mother who would shrink from inflicting a moment's 
pain upon her child's body, or who can scarcely be 
present at the most superficial operation, does not 
scruple for a moment to commit that child to the 
hands of one who has been living in sin — who gives 
no evidence that she cares either for the soul, or the 
method of its salvation. Now, this is a sore domestic 
evil ; and no Christian can look upon a child intrusted 
to such incompetency, without feeling that the sad- 
ness of earth has begun for the little one indeed — its 
lot may be fixed forever by the thoughtlessness with 
which it is committed to such care. 

Does this appear to be severe ? Then consider some 
of the practices which are common in many a nur- 
sery. 

Are not children induced to do what is right by 
promises which are never fulfilled nor meant to be so ? 
Are they not scared into silence, or frightened into 
submission or sleep, by tales so false and monstrous 
that they can end in nothing but horror at the time, 
and early familiarity with lying ? 

Are not improper actions often committed before 
children, while they are frightened into concealment 
and familiarized with falsehood in another form? 

Are not the ears of children often made familiar 
with language at which their parents should stand 
aghast ? 



THE NURSE AND THE NURSERY. 



1ST 



Are not practices sometimes allowed in the parent's 
absence which the nurse would blush to see repeated 
under that parent's eye, while concealment, to which 
the young victim is made a party, cloaks the whole ? 
The outcry against Jesuitical intruders into our homes 
is wisely loud, but is it right quietly to intrust our 
children to guides who are as sure to lead astray ? 

Are not the parent's orders frequently set aside, 
and the children thus practically trained to dis- 
obey ? 

Are not partialities common in the nursery, so that 
the envying and strife of this poor world are prema- 
turely prevalent there ? 

Is not duty often done by the young for some re- 
ward, and that perhaps a forbidden one, instead of 
being done simply as a duty and as right ? 

Is not religion often ignored ? Is there not great 
ignorance of the Bible in that very sanctuary where 
its lessons should be affectionately taught, and where 
He who is as the dew unto Israel should be earnestly 
sought to bless and to fructify the good seed sown ? 

But why extend the catechism ? The melancholy 
truth is too patent, its effects are too familiarly known, 
and surely all this should press upon parents the 
necessity of appealing to the Counsellor for guidance 
in regard to the nurses of their children. Give some 
costly jewel to the dishonest to keep ; try to plough, 
to sow, and reap the granite rock ; seek stability in a 
sea-wave, or rest on the top of a mast ; and such con- 
duct would not be more completely opposed to sound 
wisdom, than to intrust a creature, undyirjg as the 
Eternal, to the training of one who is herself perhaps 



188 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



untaught in the first rudiments of the truth. This, 
then, is the sum of the whole matter : 

" Select not to nurse thy darling one that may taint his innocence : 
For example is a constant monitor, and good seed will die among the 
tares : 

The arts of a strange servant have spoiled a gentle disposition. 
Mother, let him learn at thy hps and be nourished at thy breast : 
Character is mainly moulded by the cast of the minds that surround 
it."* 

It is to be confessed, and with joy, that there are 
nurses who realize to the full their true position — 
models to whom the young may safely be intrusted. 
She was one who said, " When my child awakes in 
the morning, I pray that he may be prepared for the 
resurrection of the just. When he is bathed, my 
prayer is that he may be washed in the fountain open- 
ed for sin. When I dress him, I think of the seam- 
less robe which Christ has provided, or the spotless 
one which the ransomed wear. And when I sing the 
cradle hymn, I ask that he may be one of those who 
c sleep in Jesus' when they die." In that spirit, 
nurses may be largely honored, for they honor God ; 
and no doubt, when the throne is set, when the books 
are opened, and the secrets of all hearts made known, 
it will be found that some believers of this class have 
been owned by Him to plant in young souls the seeds 
of everlasting life. Such nurses have been raised up 
to care for children when their parents, engrossed 
with the midnight revel and the public show, would 
have left them a prey to ignorance or made them the 
victims of a folly as deep as their own. 

* Martin F. Tupper. 



THE NURSE AND THE NURSERY. 189 

Let the remark be added, that there never can be a 
nurse equal to a mother, if that mother be a Christian. 
It is one of the blessings of poverty that mothers are 
thereby compelled to be nurses ; and those mothers 
neglect a large portion of their duty, as well as frus- 
trate some of the kindest purposes of God, who desert 
their nursery and delegate its cares entirely to an 
alien. When we call to mind the fact that the mother 
may, in every case, wield a moulding influence 
through look, and tone, and smile — when we remem- 
ber that she, and she alone, in all ordinary cases, can 
duly love and duly tend the whole nature of the little 
one, and then notice how these obligations are snap- 
ped, without any pretext of necessity, it were hard to 
say whether the mother or her infant is the greater 
sufferer. If education begin with the first look of 
recognition, as we believe that it does, and if every 
smile and song advance it, then who that has a 
mother's heart would forego the pleasure of seeing 
the infant soul expand to such genial, sun-like in- 
fluences ? The power of other nurses over the young 
mind may be likened at the best to the tones of an 
^Eolian harp — wild, unmeasured, and without lasting 
impression, at least for good ; the mother's power to 
those of the organ — it awes, it thrills, it makes us 
" hold our breath to hear." 

EXAMPLES. - 

We might here appeal to the Scriptural case of the 
nurse of Rebecca, and tell how she followed her mis- 
tress to her new home with Isaac, nursed one gen- 
eration after another, and died at last full of years 



190 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



and of honor ; insomuch that the grief at her depar- 
ture gave a new name to the place of her sepulchre 
— it was called " the oak of weeping." 

But we pass from that example, to speak of a dif- 
ferent case, bearing out the principles already an- 
nounced. Erena — — was a Russian peasant, and in 
youth was addicted to all the superstitions of the 
Greek Church. By its forms and ceremonies she 
expected the salvation of her soul, and tried to work 
it out with a devotedness worthy of the more excel- 
lent way. But, at this stage of her history, she en- 
tered into the service of an English family at St. 
Petersburg, though she continued her superstitions 
for some time, as before. At length, however, the 
simple truth dawned upon her — she was arrested by 
the family prayers. The Russian New Testament was 
studied, and she discovered there that it is neither by 
the ceremonies of superstition, nor the task- work of a 
drudging devotee, but by the faith of Christ, that 
salvation comes to man. 

From that time this woman became a devoted and 
an earnest Christian ; and, as she could speak the 
German, the Finnish, and Russian languages, Erena 
had ample scope for manifesting a believer's love in 
pointing sinners to her Saviour ; she, accordingly, be- 
came the means of guiding some of them to Him. 
But it was in her nursery that her love and large de- 
sires were signally manifested. The children were 
now confided to Erena without any misgiving on the 
part of the parents. They knew, and have recorded 
their conviction, that nothing improper would be 
taught or tolerated in their absence — the truth of God 



THE NURSE AND THE NURSERY. 



191 



was their guarantee for that. When cholera visited 
the home where she dwelt, and carried off two of the 
children, this nurse displayed a tenderness, a watch- 
fulness, and an affection, such as only the love of 
Christ and of souls can produce. " Indeed, she was 
like a sister to us," are the words of the bereaved 
father. " We had a man-servant, but he was fright- 
ened, and ran away. We had a cook, but she was 
supposed to be dying. Our chief support was the 
nurse." At last both the father and mother were 
seized by the epidemic, and Erena became the earthly 
stay and consolation of that whole Home. Even 
when the disease had prostrated herself, she seemed 
to forget her own condition that she might take care 
of the other sufferers. In a word, her employers, her 
relatives, and all whom she could influence, were em- 
braced in her love and remembered in her prayers. 
She exemplified at once the considerate wisdom, and 
the self-sacrificing affection which are learned at the 
cross — which are directed to the welfare of men — and 
which terminate in the glory of the crucified One. 

Now, how blessed were the rising race, did only 
such nurses or such mothers tend them ! How wise 
and prudent were it for parents to place only such 
guardians near their little ones ! On the other hand, 
how unwise to leave them to the tender mercies which 
are often cruel ! The employers of Erena, after her 
emancipation from the Greek superstition, " enter- 
tained an angel unawares and it might often be the 
same, were parents conscientiously to seek what God 
would, no doubt, vouchsafe — a godly nurse for their 
children. On the other hand, if it be true that chil- 



192 



THE MEMBEKS OF HOME. 



dren may imbibe disease with the first aliment which 
nourishes them, is it less true that the soul mav be 
affected all over by the language, the lessons, the ex- 
ample, the maxims, and the habits of an ungodly 
nurse ? 



THE STKAXGER WITHIN THY GATES." 193 



CHAPTEE XV. 

" THE STRANGER WITHIN THY GATES." 

Dr. Chalmers — Moral Cowardice — Ashamed of Our Glory — Believers — Unbelievers 
— The Safe Rule— Snares — The Pride of Life Pampered — Evil Shunned — Home a 
Centre for Good — Examples — Augustine — Philip Henry — Eev. Edward Payson 
— A Stranger made a Child. 

If the Great God, in legislating for man, made a 
clause in his ten commandments bear upon the con- 
duct of strangers within our gates, that fact may well 
invite our attention to them.* As some have enter- 
tained angels unawares, it is possible, upon the other 
hand, that some unthinking souls who sojourn in 
families where God is feared, may get everlasting 
good while there. That should at least be aimed at, 
if we would make our homes what the Eternal merci- 
fully designed them to be— a fountain, or a focus of 
holy influences — fitting men for their eternal home. 

But that it is not always easy to entertain strangers 
in the fear of God, is proved by the experience of not 
a few. All who have admired the intrepid godliness 
of Dr. Chalmers, may have supposed that there could 
never be a time when his strong conscience feared the 
face of man. And yet his own diaries show that even 
he was more than once a coward when strangers 
were under his roof ; in other words, there was a 
stage in his religious progress, when even the abode 
of a minister of religion was regulated by the fear of 

* Exod. xi, 10. 

9 



194 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



man rather than of God. A visitor was with him for 
the night — and he said : " I was unmanly enough 
to look forward with cowardice to family worship. 
It is very true, that the circumstance of having no 
family, makes it appear rather in an awkward light 
among young men. I believe that upon the princi- 
ple of not having my good evil spoken of, I may dis- 
pense with it on some occasions. On this subject I 
am not decided." xlgain, and on another occasion 
of a similar nature, he says: " Upon the idea that our 
guests were to stay all night, I have to record that I 
was distressed, and had come to no determination 
about family worship." And once more : " Professor 
Leslie called and spent the night with me. I thank 
God for supporting me in my good determination to 
have family worship." 

Now, these and similar remarks regarding the early 
period of his career as a Christian, show that even 
Chalmers was ashamed of what should have been an 
element in his glory : they at the same time tell how 
firm and watchful we need to be regarding those who 
have turned aside as wayfarers, to tarry with us for a 
time. Are they believers ? Then they may both 
bless us and get a blessing. They may be encouraged 
while- weak, or made happier when happy. But are 
they unbelievers? Is the Saviour a name to them and 
nothing more, and are their own homes unblest by 
the fear of God ? Then, in our homes we may be 
witnesses against their ways. They may be warned 
to set up a family altar, and so convert their Home 
into a munition of rocks. " I will speak of thy testi- 
monies before kings," was the resolution of David ; 



" THE STEALS GEE, WITHIX THY GATES." 195 



and in his spirit, our children and domestics should 
see, that even though some noble of the realm had 
sought a temporary home with us, his presence could 
produce no change in the fear and the homage which 
are due to the Lord of lords. The great rule in such 
a case is this, " Bind it continually upon thine heart — 
tie it about thy neck. When thou goest, it shall lead 
thee : when thou sleepest, it shall keep thee : when 
thou wakest, it shall talk with thee."* 

That such occasions as are now referred to, often 
become a snare and a temptation, cannot be doubted. 
When friendly visits and kindly intercourse pamper 
the hollow pride of life, or minister to men's love of 
detraction — when they throw incense on the altar of 
selfishness, and foster what should be mortified, they 
only augment the sins of our Homes. Religion then 
retires disgraced, and seeks another asylum than we 
offer. Home is thus perverted into a temple where 
Satan or the world is worshipped, and instead of the 
generous and the frank hospitality enjoined in the 
Bible, f men commit the sin of Hezekiah, when he 
showed his treasures to his visitors. Like him — "The 
heart is lifted up with pride, and falls into the snare 
of the devil." Many are thus banished from the 
courteous intercourse of life, because the Word of 
God does not reign there. The maxims of His truth 
are not ascendant, and the soul of a believer is chafed 
and wearied instead of being gladdened and re- 
freshed. 

And need we tarry to tell in detail how far the 
Scriptures discountenance the style of intercourse 

* Prov. vi. 21, 22. f 1 Pet. iv. 9. 



196 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



which now so commonly prevails ?' x " They bid us 
exhort one another daily/ 5 and urge us to " have our 
speech always with grace, seasoned with salt." They 
teach us to "comfort one another," and show us the 
saints of God in very degenerate times kk speaking 
often one to another." They record the ancient com- 
plaint, " Shall vain words never have an end ?" and 
exhibit Nehemiah as "weeping and mourning certain 
days" for the sorrows of his brethren. Now, were 
such a spirit of holy sympathy prevalent in our 
Homes, they would indeed be centres of influence for 
good — their inmates, whether for a night or a longer 
period, would find them like Elim, or like Bethel. 
They would discover that when the counsel of wis- 
dom is adopted, and when we " go from the presence 
of a foolish man, when we perceive not in him the 
lips of knowledge,"*}* a blessing descends upon such 
abodes : the Father of lights illumines them : parents, 
children, and domestics, all discover that the fear of 
the Lord is the beginning of wisdom alike for a heart 
and a Home. 

One remark more. Good may be derived from a 
visitor as well as advantage reaped by him. Let it 
be supposed that there are children in the Home. 
The stranger takes no interest in their doings, but 
stares vacantly at them amidst their highest glee. He 
is solemn when they are joyous, and his cold apath- 
etic bearing would chill them could aught repress the 

* On this very important but little regarded subject, see a sermon of 
great and godly wisdom, by Matthew Henry, entitled, "The Right 
Management of Friendly Visits.'' 

f Prov. xiv. 7. 



U THE STPwAXGEE WITHIN THY GATES." 



197 



jubilee of young hearts. Now, is it wonderful that 
such a man repels, or that his departure from that 
Home is hailed as a relief? But, on the other hand, is 
the visitor kindly, genial, frank, sympathetic ? Does 
he take an interest in the sports of the young ? Does 
he even romp when they romp, and show them that 
gray hairs imply no gloom ? Does he embody in his 
conduct the words which tell that 

4 'He will not blush that has a father's heart, 
To take in childish plays a child-like part ?" 

Then how closely the children cling to him ! how they 
imitate him, believe him, love him, make his name a 
household word, and long for the day of his return! 
Now were social intercourse conducted as the Word 
of God directs, there would be similar sympathies 
awakened there, and similar blessings shared by all 
who journey Zionward. 

EXAMPLES. 

The early life of Augustine was such in itself, and 
led to such misery both to him and to others, that ever 
after his conversion to God, he felt like one who could 
not keep far enough apart from the world and its 
ways. And knowing well the sins contracted, or the 
snares to which men are exposed during their con- 
vivial hours, he inscribed on the walls of his guest- 
chamber the following golden lines : — 

M Quisquis amat dictis absentum rodere famam, 
Hanc mensam vetitam noverit esse sibl" 

By such a counsel, that resolute and intrepid be- 
liever sought to discountenance those topics which 



19S 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



too often form the exclusive subjects of intercourse 
between man and man. He knew that large portions 
of the Word of God must be proscribed or erased ere 
such practices could be any thing but sin ; and he 
would neither expose himself, nor let others beside 
him be exposed, to such contamination. He at least 
sought, as a Christian, to entertain his visitors in a 
Christian spirit. 

And similar was the practice of Philip Henry. 
"When he had sojourners under his roof capable of 
such exercises, it was his practice to hold conferences 
with them on subjects mutually chosen for the benefit 
of all. It was thus that he at once acted like a 
Christian minister — tried to redeem time, and to do 
good as he had opportunity. In other words, Henry 
was a Christian always, and not merely at set times, 
or on set occasions, and the savor of his name is 
therefore as fresh this day to the hearts of some, as 
when he lived and lurked a persecuted man two hun- 
dred years ago. His home was a Christian home ; 
and no man could sojourn an hour beneath his roof 
without discovering his spirit. Whoever heard him 
" full in giving thanks for family mercies, in confess- 
ing family sins, and begging family blessings," would 
either be rebuked for his own neglect and provoked 
to do likewise, or helped on his way with joy. 

But it would be difficult to find a better example 
of the spirit which should pervade our homes, regard- 
ing all who are there, than the practice of Edward 
Pay son supplies. In the first place, it was agreed 
among the inmates, that if any of them uttered a syl- 
lable tending to the disparagement or injury of anoth- 



"the stranger within thy gates." 199 

er, the rest should instantly admonish the offender. 
Hence evil speaking was, in time, banished from that 
abode, and all who entered it heard only words of 
kindness or commendation. 

Next, it was agreed that the inmates should con- 
verse upon no topic that was likely to impede or 
deaden the spirit of prayer. Payson's conviction 
was, that men were just as much bound to pray with- 
out ceasing as to pray at all. His home was regula- 
ted according to that conviction, and instead of pray- 
ing only once or twice each day, he tried to live in 
the spirit of prayer as a creature so dependent as man 
should do. All who entered his abode thus felt that 
to be there was good on the one hand, or a bondage 
on the other. 

Yet, thirdly, Payson knew that the bow which is 
always bent might at last as well be unstrung. He 
therefore sought relaxation for his family, and led 
them to pursuits which were not directly or formally 
religious ; and though he was careful to invest all that 
he did with such a character as became the doings of 
a candidate for immortal life, those who sojourned in 
his home were not dealt with as if it were sinful to 
be happy. Payson rejoiced in all that was instruct- 
ive, and thus commended the truth to all who came 
within his influence. 

And further, when the evening closed, it was Pay- 
son's favorite custom to gather round him all who 
were beneath his roof, and " take a little tour up to 
heaven, and see what they were doing there." So 
serene and elevating was the joy which sometimes 
animated that household upon such occasions, that 



200 



THE MEMBERS OF HOME. 



" they could scarcely wait till death should come to 
carry them home." They seemed to forget that 

" Every sleep must have its waking, 
Even the last long sleep of alL" 

ISTow these things exercised a wholesome influence 
over those who frequented that home ; and as nothing 
was done there for which that Bible which we all pro- 
fess to believe does not provide, why are such cases 
not indefinitely multiplied %— or why is Payson's ex- 
ample a paragon and a wonder among the homes of 
his native land, and of ours ? 

Once more : a lawless character, an utterer of base 
coin, found a home for a night in the house of a char- 
itable and a godly schoolmaster. At the hour of fam- 
ily worship, that Scripture was read which tells of 
those who are dead in trespasses and sins, and who 
are, therefore, the children of wrath. ]S"ow such intel- 
ligence fell upon the ear of that wayfarer with the 
freshness of perfect novelty, and at the same time, 
with the force of heavenly truth. He soon discovered 
that he was one of the class there depicted in terms 
so far from flattering — and that casual sojourn in a 
godly home hence became the day-dawn of a better 
being ; his old ways were forsaken, and he eventually 
turned into the narrow path. We repeat it^ if some 
have entertained angels unawares, others have been 
honored to win to Christ those who came under their 
roof in the character of aliens from the household of 
faith, or of rebels against its Head. Those who 
sought but a temporary home have found at least the 
porch of " the house not made with hands, eternal in 
the heavens." 



THE LAWS AXD MAXIMS OF HOME. 



HOME. 

PART IL— THE LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



CHAPTEE L 

THE RELIGION OF HOME. 

Astronomy — Self-Knowledge — Religion Ignored — The "Wise of this "World — Infidel- 
ity — Eesnlts — The Family designed for G-od's "Worship — The Conscience of 
Home — The Impressibleness of Youth — Aspects of Home Eeligion— -Its Plea- 
sures — Family "Worship — Sir Walter Scott — Eobert Burns — Eemembrance of a 
Father's Prayers — Examples — Eev. Eichard Cecil — His Maxims on Family 
Prayer — Eey. Matthew Henry — His Maxims. 

JSTo one can doubt that Astronomy is a noble science. 
As we study it, star after star and system after sys- 
tem become familiarly known, till we feel as if we 
were on the verge of grasping the infinite, or knowing 
the Almighty's handiwork unto perfection. 

At the same time, it is sad to notice how versant a 
man may be with that kind of knowledge, far off as 
it seems, and yet remain ignorant of himself. All 
various knowledge, no doubt, is to be cultivated, that 
man may rise to his true dignity ; but to pursue other 
branches to the neglect of the only two which are of 
universal importance — the knowledge of God, and of 
our own soul — is surely to be wisely foolish and ig- 
norantly learned. 



204 



LAWS ARB MAXIMS OF HOME. 



Now, Home is the peculiar school for studying 
both God and our own souls. First the family and 
then the Church are the divinely appointed institu- 
tions for that end, and the success of the latter main- 
ly depends upon the right ordering of the former. 
Hence arises the necessity of providing with care for 
the Religion of Home. 

Yet there are homes where religion is ignored. 
There is no worship of God there ; neither is there 
any right religious training of the young; God is 
practically dethroned ; and it is possible that what 
is called Education may be completed, and yet no re- 
ligion taught. jSTay, men professing to be wise, have 
risen up to argue that religion should not be taught 
at all — it should be left, they say, to the unbiassed 
mind of youth to select the form or the creed which 
seems best, when entering upon life. Some of these 
men are called philosophers ; not a few of them hold 
the rank of lawgivers ; and their plan is practically 
this : — Educate for earth ; let heaven alone : Educate 
for man ; leave God out of view : Educate for time ; 
eternity will be considered aiion.* 

But how different all this is from the mind of " God 
only wise" need not be told. It is sheer infidelity : 

* The history of education in G-errnany during the past century may 
illustrate this. Rousseau's Emile introduced a system in which reli- 
gion, family, community, and native land, were ignored. Pestalozzi. of 
Yverdun, superseded that system. To the extent of educating children 
for the family, the community, and the God of the universe. From 
Pestalozzi's system two branches diverge — the G-erman pedagogy and 
the Christian. The former rejected religion as an element in education. 
The latter makes the Cross the centre of education as of all beside — 
and this is now ascendant in the many-minded land. 



RELIGION OF HOME. 



205 



the Old Testament and the New are alike dishonored 
by the system. Creation is studied ; the Creator is 
neglected. Laws are examined : the Lawgiver is un- 
heeded. Even parents connive at and encourage such 
views ; and since they choose to train their children 
in ignorance of a Father who is in heaven, or of the 
worship which is His due, would it be wonderful 
though such children grew up despising the parents 
who had trained them so ? If more pains be taken to 
teach our children the length of a Greek syllable, 
some one has said, than the knowledge of God and of 
themselves, what wonder though ungodliness prevail? 
What would be the effect were the sun swept from 
his place among the stars ? Chaos to our globe once 
more ; and, in like manner, when religion is omitted 
in training a moral being, a moral chaos must ensue. 
The great central power is truth — the truth of God ; 
and wherever that is obscured, confusion must re- 
sult.* The time once was when the Ptolemaic phi- 
losophers affected to govern the stars by their cycles 
and epicycles endless. But did the sun and moon 
ever obey them ? No more will they who understand 
at all that man has a soul, submit to be guided by 
systems which do what mortals can to dethrone and 
displace the Supreme. 

The truth is, that Home, or the family, is a divine 
institution expressly designed for training children in 
the knowledge of God, for if it be true that " the 

* "The Tyrolese, one of the noblest and bravest races in the world, 
send nineteen-twentieths of their children to school, yet give more oc- 
cupation to Austrian judges than all the other provinces of the empire, 
except Dalmatia." — See " Good, Better, Best," chap. xii. 



206 



LAWS AXD MAXIMS OF HOME. 



Church, is a family," it is conversely as true that a 
family should be a church. Religion is the con- 
science of Home ; and the well-being of every house- 
hold as completely depends upon the supremacy of 
the truth, as our individual well-being depends on 
the ascendancy of conscience. Had we been left to 
grope after 

" An unknown somewhere, 
Some strange hereafter, or some hidden skies," 

it might have been irksome to be pressed with so du- 
bious a creed. But as all is authoritative and clear, 
God's truth is to control our homes in thought, word, 
and deed. Old and young are to be gathered round 
its altar. The father-priest, as we have seen, by his 
lessons, his example, and his prayers, is to guide all 
to God ; to knit, if possible, the young soul to Him, 
and accustom it to think of Him, like one philoso- 
pher at least,* who never pronounced the holy name 
without a pause for reverent thought and feeling. 
" Heaven is nearer to us in infancy than ever after." 
" "While the Father is yet marking the moment of its 
birth, the infant's first pulse has dated its training for 
eteniity,"f and sentiments like these should reign in 
every parent's heart, to preside over every engage- 
ment, every joy, and every event in his home. The 
Rev. Legh Richmond said all this well when he wrote 
to his son : — If you are to die a boy, you must look 
for a boy's religion, a boy's knowledge, a boy's faith, 
a boy's Saviour, and a boy's salvation ; or else a 
boy's ignorance, a boy's obstinacy, a boy's unbelief, a 
boy's idolatry, a boy's destruction." 

* The Hon. Robert Boyle. f See " Patriarchy." chap, ix. 



RELIGION OF HOME. 



207 



The laws of the young mind assert the same doc- 
trine. How impressible that mind is we have already 
seen ; and surely wisdom and affection combine to 
teach us that in youth — in youth above all other pe- 
riods — should truth be lodged in the mind, and tend- 
ed there by the hand of parental wisdom — like south- 
ern exotics from northern skies. Even then, no 
doubt, truth may make no more impression on the 
mind than an image produces on the mirror which re- 
flects it ; yet, while parents act in faith and hope, it 
would be at once unwise and cruel to withhold that 
mightiest of all influences, the truth, which the Spirit 
blesses to mould the soul, or give happiness instead of 
misery, and life instead of death. Scripture is so full 
of the home feeling, or family religion, that we vio- 
late all its teaching if the love of God be not para- 
mount, and the fear of the Lord the beginning; of 
wisdom to our children. The Christian mother es- 
pecially can deeply plant and genially cherish the 
seeds of truth. Is her child sick? That is a text 
from which to speak of the Great Physician. Is it 
the sober calm of evening, when even children grow 
sedate ? She can tell of the Home where there is no 
night. Is it morning, when all are buoyantly happy ? 
The eternal day is suggested, and its glories may be 
told. That is the wisdom which wins souls even more 
than the formal lesson, the lecture, or the task. 

To illustrate all this. At our baptism, the name of 
Father, of Son, and Spirit, pronounced over a child, 
surely indicates at once the influences which should 
guide its first dawning thoughts. And, when we 
begin to lisp our first prayer, " Our Father who is in 



208 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



heaven" that moment meets us — He asks to be both 
addressed and loved. Further, in distress, God solaces 
" as one whom his mother comforts," — nay, a mother 
may forget her child, but God will not forget His 
children. And still more, when the departing Sa- 
viour said, " In my Father's house are many man- 
sions," or informed us that he was going to " His God 
and our God, to His Father and our Father," his 
words all bring vividly before us the family relation. 
He so absolutely interweaves the name of God with 
every thing connected with Home, that ere that name 
can be detached or forgotten, the whole family consti- 
tution must be violated or destroyed. 

But on the supposition that religion should be 
taught in our homes, what form of it should pre- 
vail 1 

We reply emphatically, its love, its mercy, its pity 
and compassion, its unbounded joys, its smiles for 
every thing hut sin. It is one proof among many that 
the Scriptures are from God, to see them so full of 
blessedness for man amid all his mad preference for 
woe. We are there called to rejoice, nay, to rejoice 
alway, and it is in that light that religion should ever- 
more be presented to the young. It does restrain ; it 
does bridle and bound ; it does say, " our God is a 
consuming fire." But that is the high wall reared be- 
tween the family and sin ; and the young should be 
prevented from ever approaching it by sights and 
sounds of holy happiness. It is thus that the soul of 
a child should be drawn toward God, while it is knit 
to its earthly parent, for thus the foundation of that 
tower is laid whose summit is indeed to reach to 



RELIGION OF HOME. 



209 



heaven. This is true religion — the happy religion of 
the Bible — and when this is taught in our homes, the 
family constitution is advancing that design which 
God appointed it to promote. 

At the same time, that tower is as sure to fall, as 
did that of Babel, unless it be founded on the truth 
of God. It is to the God of the Bible, and not the 
fancy-god of nature and of poetry, that children 
should be guided — the Father who is in heaven — the 
God and Father of our Lord Jesus. Christ. He is the 
very God of peace ; and where parents speak only of 
some great Being whom they call the Deity, or 
Providence, or the Creator, they are deceiving their 
little ones with names, as valueless to them as the 
Great Spirit of the Bed Indian tribes. We repeat — 
it is the God of the Bible, the God and Father of our 
Lord Jesus Christ, who makes our homes and our 
hearts happy of a truth. 

And this seems to be the proper place to advert to 
the subject of family worship — the great feeder of 
family religion. Our first remark regardino- it is, 
that that family is not a Christian family where God 
is not worshipped ; or where parents do not " show 
to the generation to come the praises of the Lord and 
his strength, and the wonderful works which he hath 
done." There may be Christians among its mem- 
bers, but as a household God is not honored — men 
forget to call upon his name. There may be diffi- 
culties and impediments. There may be shamefaced- 
ness, or the fear of man, but should he be feared more 
than sin ? Want of gifts may be pled ; but it is not 
gifts, it is grace that is required. Or want of time 



210 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



may be the plea ; but think of the great white throne, 
and say will that pretext there stand the scrutiny ot 
the Judge's eye ? Nay, all such gourds wither away 
at the touch of truth, and every thing should yield 
before a solemn sense of duty ; every thing does give 
way when men feel the call that is upon them to 
honor God in all the relations of life. In many cases, 
it has been one of the first proofs of a saving change, 
to see a family altar erected — the family gathered 
around it, and taught to look up for the blessing of a 
Father who is in heaven. Such decided men have 
seen at length the sinfulness of all pretexts and all 
excuses for neglecting the duty. As men, as sinners, 
as believers, they feel that they must resort again, 
and again, and again to God ; and if deprived of that 
privilege, their very spirits would cleave to the dust. 

JSTow, when God is thus worshipped in spirit and 
in truth, that duty becomes the helm of life, the 
balance-wheel in the moral machinery of home. It 
warns the father to walk consistently — to live his 
prayers, as well as to offer them. It represses the 
tendencies of youth to err ; and when invested with 
its true character — one of cheerfulness and joy — the 
hallowing effects of family worship cannot be told. 
It is a perpetual protest against sin, a perpetual ap- 
peal to God, or a perpetual reposing upon his arm; 
and though all that may be so abused as to harden 
or to sear, it may also be the means of guiding and 
hallowing the soul. It tells, through the reading of 
the Word, what God thinks and says ; through his 
praise, how elevating his service may be ; and 
through prayer, how needy we are — how ready He is 



RELIGION OF HOME. 



211 



to supply all our wants, or to render the sorrowful 
happy. 

But to the believer no explanation of this privilege 
is needed, as nothing can render it any thing but a 
task to others who live from early youth till hoary 
age in a state of soul which unfits them for the duty, 
and keeps them unacquainted with its blessedness. 
It tells of pardon for guilt, and strength amid weak- 
ness — of light amid darkness, and joy amid sorrow. 
It habitually puts God upon the throne as the God 
alike of parent and child, of master and servant. In 
the morning the Guardian of the night is thanked, 
and His guidance for the day implored. At night 
His goodness and His mercies are recognized, and His 
watchfulness again invoked. The parent goes him- 
self, and takes his children with him, to the great 
Hearer of prayer, who can make our homes a little 
heaven and our hearts a little temple. The hallowing 
and soothing effects of all this are familiar to those 
who know the secret of the Lord ; and that heart 
must be dead indeed to God which can continue both 
in sin and in family prayer without misgivings and 
haunting alarms. 

Yet we do not forget that this sacred privilege has 
dangers connected with it. We nowhere read that 
Sir Walter Scott worshipped God in his own home, 
but he sometimes resorted with his crowding guests, 
to a spot near the abode of one of his cottagers about 
the hour of evening prayer. He liked, he said, to be 
" within earshot of David's Psalms," and pity that 
he did not sing them! There was poetry, however, 
or something which Scott reckoned antique, in the 



212 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



practice, and he admired what he did not imitate. 
The poet Burns was of the same spirit, and sang of 
family worship in some of his most exquisite strains. 
He had seen it ; as a poet he had enjoyed it ; and 
though he lived to trample upon that home-religion 
which his father's life exemplified, that did not pre- 
vent him from drawing a perfect word-picture of the 
practice. Is eed we quote it ? 

" Then kneeling down to heaven's eternal King, 

The saint, the father, and the husband prays : 
Hope springs triumphant on exulting wing 

That thus they all shall meet in future days, 
There ever bask in uncreated rays, 

Xo more to sigh, nor shed the bitter tear, 
Together hymning their Creator's praise 

In such society yet still more dear, 
While circling time moves round in an eternal sphere."" 

Now, all that can be done regarding family worship, 
and no salutary impression received from it. To the 
believer, however, it is a hallowing joy ; and as the 
house of Obed-edom was blessed while the ark was 
there, our homes are happy while God is worshipped 
in them. 

It is true, this practice is now largely neglected in 
our land. Many who are now parents, and who were 
reared beside a family altar, have forgotten to erect 
one in their own home, and none more intensely 
worldly than they — they rob their children of an in- 
heritance which should have been sacredly trans- 
mitted. But, amid the neglect of multitudes, the 
privilege still continues to many, like a well in the 
desert. So sweet was such commerce with God to 
David, that seven times in a day he offered the praise 



RELIGION OF HOME. 



213 



which was due. At morning, at noon, and at night, 
he sought his God in prayer ; and that father who 
would see his family blessed, or be clear of their 
blood, should surely train them to do likewise toward 
Him who makes the outgoings of the morning and the 
evening to rejoice over us. " It is a good thing to give 
thanks unto the Lord, and to sing praises unto thy 
name, 0 most High ; to show forth thy loving kind- 
ness in the morning, and thy faithfulness every 
night." * "With such a morning and evening sacri- 
fice offered from the heart, our families may dwell in 
safety under the shadow of Omnipotence — the earthly 
hymn is a prelude to the Hosannas of heaven. 

There is another subject to which the desires and 
the efforts of Christian parents should be much turned ; 
upon it the progress of religion in their children vi- 
tally depends. That subject is — confidential commu- 
nication with parents on the state of the soul. It is 
well known, and somewhat difficult of explanation, 
that the nearest relations are often the most averse to 
this kind of intercourse ; but Christian parents should 
cultivate it with care. The Rev. Legh Richmond 
longed for such intercourse with his children, till his 
longings became pain. By letters, and many fond 
endearments, he sought to lure them into the habit ; 
.and when he did not succeed, he wrote — " Oh ! what 
would I give for one voluntary conversation or letter 
detailing the past and present history of his mind." 
He added — " Many a secret tear does his silence cost 
me." His attempts, in some instances, entirely failed, 
till death came so near as to melt all other influences : 

* Psalm xcii. 1, 2. 



2U 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



and when the spell of silence broke, he exulted with 
joy unspeakable. 

Now, all this indicates that the parent who would 
" help the joy" of his offspring should seek to train 
them to a frank and cordial intercourse on such sub- 
jects. Modesty is becoming in youth ; petulant talk- 
ing is to be repressed ; but speech seasoned with salt 
should be cultivated and cherished. 

Nor should we forget that the remembrance of a 
parent's prayers and painstaking has formed the last 
remnant of good in the souls of some prodigal sons ; 
it has even been blessed to reclaim them from the 
paths of the destroyer : while tens of thousands, we 
doubt not, will trace up their love of the holy and the 
pure to that abounding fountain. An English visitor 
to America was present at a family worship there. 
He was an infidel ; but so vividly did the remem- 
brance of a godly father's supplications then flash 
upon his mind, that he could continue an infidel no 
longer, and a father's habitual prayers for his house- 
hold have thus gone to the hearts of the godless. 
Such honoring of God is doubly, trebly blessed ; and 
the man who neglects it forsakes his own mercy.* 

And have prayerless parents ever considered how 
deeply they endanger the souls of their children by 
their neglect ? Have they thought of the " fury" that 
is to be the portion of those families who call not on 
the name of the Lord ? Have they reflected how 
family afflictions are unimproved, how family bless- 
ings are not recognized, how hearts are hardened by 



* See Abbot's " Mother at Home,' 1 chap. vii. 



RELIGION OF HOME. 



215 



the neglect of the Great Giver ? and how children, 
amid all these sources of sin, are not trained, 

"Whate'er betide, 
To tread with happy steps the path of duty?" 

We have seen a family altar set up for a season, when 
death had entered the dwelling, and, while weeping 
and lacerated in their hearts, the inmates have seemed 
to pray. But the wound was healed ; the garments 
of sorrow were soon put aside; the lately erected al- 
tar was laid in ruins ; and the hopes which had been 
cherished for those stricken mourners lay in ruin be- 
side it. ]STow, is it not one of the saddest of all sor- 
rows to see souls thus perishing under the very rod, 
and hugging misery when the Hearer of prayer would 
conduct them to glory ? Such parents surely do not 
know the value of souls as their price is proclaimed 
on the Cross. 

Once more, in regard to family religion, we observe 
that good should be expected from the right discharge 
of parental duty. It is often done merely as a duty ; 
but as it is not cheered or animated by hope, it is 
cold, effectless, and dishonoring to the Spirit of God. 
We ought, then, to look up and expect an answer 
when we cry. We should believe that what is clone 
in faith will end in blessings, and that our children 
and our homes will know the goodness of God our 
Saviour. Without that hope cherished in some de- 
gree, we may still pray, but it is not the prayer of 
faith, so much as of formality or despair. We may 
still use means, but they are employed without ear- 
nestness, and followed by no blessing, while quietly 



216 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



to wait for the salvation of our God is both honoring 
to Him, and fraught with joy to parents. 

EXAMPLES. 

We need not try to find a better illustration, 
both of the spirit and the method of family prayer, 
than is supplied by the case of the Rev. Richard Ce- 
cil.* He says, "Tediousness in family religion will 
weary children and servants. Fine language will 

shoot above them Gloominess or austerity 

of devotion will make them dread religion as a hard 
service. Let them be met with smiles." 

He adds — "I make no formal comment on the 
Scripture read ; but when any striking event or 
sentiment arises, I say, ' Mark that.' £ See how God 
judges of things.' Sometimes I ask what they think, 
and how such a thing strikes them." 

"I endeavor," he proceeds, " to raise the children 
and servants to a persuasion that God's will in Scrip- 
ture is the standard, and that this standard is perpetu- 
ally in opposition to the corrupt one around and be- 
fore them." 

"I read the Scriptures to my family in some regu- 
lar order I look on the chapter of the day 

as a lesson sent for that day ; and so I regard it as 
coming from God for present use, and not of my own 
seeking." 

* It is not our purpose to give detailed directions for the discharge 
of this duty. Our little Hand-book for families would thereby become 
too large. Matthew Henry was wont to say — " They do well who read 
the Word at family worship. They do better who read and pray. 
They do best who read, and praise, and pray M 



RELIGION OF HOME. 



217 



u . . . . Regularity must be enforced. If a certain 
hour is not fixed, and adhered to, the family will in- 
evitably be found in confusion." 

"Religion should be prudently brought before a 
family. The old Dissenters wearied their families. 
. . . . Something gentle, quiet, moderate, should be 
our aim. There should be no scolding : it should be 
mild and pleasant." 

" I avoid absolute uniformity : the mind revolts 
at it," 

" Nothing of superstition should attach to family 
duty. It is not absolutely and in all cases indispen- 
sable. If unavoidably interrupted, we omit it ; it is 
well I do not, however, mean in any de- 
gree to relax the proper obligation." 

Xow, these are the maxims of a holy prudence re- 
garding a precious privilege, and were any supple- 
ment required, it might be found in the sayings of 
Matthew Henry's sagacity on the subject. " If you 
have not a Church in your house, it is to be feared 
Satan will have a seat there." " If we make our 
houses God's houses, we shall be hid in his pavilion : 
in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide us." 
" The way to keep sin out of the house is to keep up 
religion in the house, which will be the most effectual 
antidote to Satan's poison." "If there were a Church 
in every house, there would be such a Church in our 
land as would make it a blessing throughout the 
whole earth." "I beseech you, make a business of 
your family religion, and not a by-business." "While 
you seem saints in your devotions, prove not your- 
selves sinners in your conversation." " Tour family 
10 



218 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



worship is an honor to yon; see to it that neither 
you nor yours be in any thing a disgrace to it." " If 
you have confidence enough to rule a family, I hope 
you have confidence enough to pray with a family." 
" Wherever we go ourselves, we must take our re- 
ligion with us."* 

But enough : the obligation to this duty is plain, 
even though no commandment can be quoted ex- 
pressly and by name enjoining its performance. The 
reasons for it are cogent : its blessings are manifold, 
while the excuses for neglecting it are fallacies which 
may all be resolved into the absence of the love of 
God, or of fellowship with Him in Christ. Let the 
soul of a father once feel what it is to be sinful, and 
to be surrounded with sinful, though much-loved, 
little ones, then all obstructions will disappear. The 
family altar will be set up, and kept up. Like Job, 
a daily sacrifice will be offered there for each child 
in the Home. Affection from child to parent will 
be deepened by the love cherished for a heavenly 
Father ; and when the saint, the husband, and the 
father is summoned away, he may quietly leave his 
little ones under the guardianship of the orphan's 
God ; for U I have been young and now am old, yet 
have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed 
begging bread." 

* See Sermon on " Family Religion," by Rev. M. Henry. 



EDUCATION OF HOME. 



219 



CHAPTEE n. 

THE EDUCATION OF HOME. 

Object of this Chapter — All Nature a School — Early Lessons — Importance of Home 
Education — Variety of Mental Constitution— The Body to be cared for — Infant 
Schools — The Affections — Conscience — Symmetrical Training — The Christian 
Graces— The Triumphs of Home— All Beautiful Things should be Taught— The 
Bible — Training for God is Training for Ourselves — Emulation — The Education 
of Show — The Study of Words — Examples— Philip Henry — Edward Bicker- 
steth — Lady Blessingtom 

It is no part of our purpose to discuss the compara- 
tive merits of education at Home and at a public 
seminary. Though much might be said as to the 
necessity for Christianizing nearly all our public in- 
stitutions, that is a question so wide and so complex 
as to demand and deserve a separate treatise. Neither 
is it designed to offer a complete account even of a 
Home education, but merely to supply some hints to 
the earnest parent who loves the soul of his child, or 
who would so train his little one that God may be 
honored, and Home made happy. The most mo- 
mentous trust that can be placed in man's hand is 
certainly the care of souls, yet how limited is the 
preparation of many for that solemn work ! Fitness 
for it is often left to be acquired at random, and in- 
juries which can never be counteracted may hence 
be produced. To prevent such results, some of the 
prominent points to be kept in view, in all godly 
training, are now to be mentioned. 



220 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



And, first, all nature is a school for the young ; 
they sometimes appear to "be learning at every pore. 
Sights and sounds, friends and strangers, earth and 
sky, night and day, every thing, in short, seem to 
pour ideas into the mind of healthy childhood. It 
literally 

44 Finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, 
Sermons in stones, and good in every thing." 

The " students at the fireside -seniinarv " or "the grad- 
nates of the hearth," as children have been called, are 
stored vrith knowledge before some suppose that they 
have begun to learn. The young disciple often out- 
runs the tardy teacher, and has learned a crowd of 
lessons ere ever we suppose him even capable of in- 
struction. Philosophy is thus taught in sport ; crumbs 
are picked up from the table of science, and at least a 
foundation is laid in infancy on which the future fab- 
ric of wisdom and knowledge may rest. A father's 
or a mother's love, the intercourse of child with child, 
and all that happens within the circle of home, en- 
larges the little cyclopaedia, A master may instruct 
— he may cultivate and teach, but parents can edu- 
cate all the powers and capabilities of a child; and 
while this clearly indicates the true nature of educa- 
tion, it also shows that parents possess a power over 
mind, such as God has entrusted to no other hands. 

Hence the importance which attaches to education 
at Home, as supplying the great want of young 
hearts. He who made us what we are, appointed our 
parents to the solemn trust of training us. As face 
answers to face in a glass, does the influence of parent- 
hood correspond to the requirements of the young ; 



EDUCATION OF HOME. 



221 



for whatever may be thought of scholastic teaching, 
there are portions of our powers which none but God's 
representatives can develop. Some parts of our 
training may be delegated with success, nay, with 
noble results ; but it should be repeated, and repeated 
yet again, that there are principles of action and im- 
portant powers in childhood which parental love 
alone can warm into life or nurse into vigor. Intel- 
lect, soul, heart, all demand some finer touch than 
that of mere professional skill to render them all they 
should be made. 

Kor is this mysterious. A master may teach, but 
only parents, or those similarly placed, can properly 
train. The example deepening the precept — the love 
enforcing the lesson — the kindly interest and sym- 
pathy, cheering, invigorating, soothing, are found in 
perfection only in a home where Christian principle 
presides, and that training must be at once the basis 
and the completion of all other systems. 

But next : what is the order which nature and wis- 
dom assign to such training ? 

1. Though the family circle may be small, the dis- 
positions may be just as various as the names of the 
young. Some are impulsive, and others timid : some 
are selfish, sullen, or cunning ; others frank and 
genial : in a word, in a single household as many 
diversities may appear as there are individuals there, 
yet so exquisite is the moral machinery that an intel- 
ligent parent may direct it so as to meet all these va- 
rieties. A miniature of the great world is there; its 
similarities and contrasts, its sympathies and antipa- 
thies, all demand our guidance : and a wise parent 



222 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



will begin his work by controlling the whole in har- 
mony with the mind of God. 

But, 2. In proceeding with this work of education 
in its widest sense, the body of the young demands a 
large portion of our care. Upon its soundness much 
of the happiness of all the future hangs ; and when 
we think of the unhappy effects which follow either 
neglected or over- stimulated childhood, no parent can 
be excessive in watching over the welfare of the body 
during the first years of training. To a large extent, 
it should then take precedence of the mind — at least, 
the mind should be educated rather by the visible or 
the tangible, than by scholastic technicalities. In- 
deed, it were a wise rule to let a child " wander at 
his own sweet will" during his early years. The 
chief care that he needs is to keep him from sin and 
danger. He should sometimes be repressed rather 
than stimulated in learning ; and as the nervous sys- 
tem is then easily injured, all that tends to overstrain 
it should be shunned, if parents would not incur the 
risk of life-long detriment to their little one. " The 
mental force should then be husbanded much rather 
than used," is the wise counsel of a friend of the 
young.* 

And all this is just saying that there should be no 
forcing — no use of the hotbed or hothouse in early 
years. The time has not long gone by since a system 
from which great things were expected, professed to 
impart to infancy an amount of knowledge which is 
commonly supposed to be peculiar to the advanced. 
Lisping infants were to be transmuted into prodigies 

* Taylor's "Home Education, 1 ' chap. i. 



EDUCATION OF HOME. 



223 



of learning, alike deep in the mysteries of chemistry 
and astronomy; but that system has now found its 
proper level. Those whom it trained have not con- 
tinued prodigies, and infant-school teaching, though 
wisely retained, is now mainly adapted to the bodies 
rather than the minds of the young. 

Yet, 3. We would not be understood as pleading 
for any deferred training of the affections. A child 
begins to love as soon as it can mark its mother's 
eye. Basking in the sunshine of her smile, the little 
one may well be encouraged to smile with a respon- 
sive affection. That is the heaven of infancy, and its 
blessedness may be so full as to prove a defence 
against temptation, or an anchor amid storms in all 
coming years. If every fond endearment be tried to 
teach a little one to walk, or to draw forth its first 
articulate utterance, should less be done to teach that- 
little one to love ? The woodpecker, it has been said, 
is a carpenter ; the beaver is both that and a mason ; 
the bittern is a fisherman ; and the hawk a sportsman 
— all by the force of instinct. Xow, love is the pow- 
er which should guide a child's soul, as these instincts 
guide the lower creatures. 

Neither, 4. Should any counsel be listened to that 
would suggest the tardy development of conscience ; 
it early develops itself. Its power is indicated by the 
little criminal's blush when detected, his faltering lip 
when he would equivocate, his weeping outbreak 
when he feels that he has done wrong and is wicked. 
Parents, then, should educate conscience — should 
keep it quick, and sensitive, and tender. While they 
pray that it may be cleansed in the appointed way, 



224 LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 

it should be their endeavor to accustom childhood to 
" exercise itself to have always a conscience void of 
offence both toward God and toward man." It is not 
cleverness but goodness that should be their primary 
aim. The more that conscience is trained, the more 
vigorous it becomes in upholding what is good; and 
a Christian parent's purest joy is to see this govern- 
ing faculty of the soul invigorated from year to year, 
by a law the same in principle as that which strength- 
ens the limbs by judicious exercise. The first theft 
profoundly agitates the youthful pilferer. It is then 
especially that 

" Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind — 
The thief doth fear each bush an officer ;" 

but the next transgression and the next grow less 
troublesome, till crimes which endanger liberty are 
committed without compunction. The first oath, it 
has been said, almost palsies a stripling tongue, but 
if conscience be not obeyed, it may become silent. 
Wild blasphemy may then grow familiar, and by all 
these things, parents should be taught to train and 
discipline the conscience.* 

* Many have been careful to record how much this is neglected. 
"One page of the daily manual teaches the power of commas ; another 
the spelling of words ; another the rules of cadence and emphasis ; 
but the pages are missing which teach the laws of forbearance under 
injury, of sympathy with misfortune, of impartiality in our judgments 
of men, of love and fidelity to truth, of the ever-during relations of men 
in the domestic circle, in organized government, and of stranger to 
stranger. How can it be expected that such cultivation would scatter 
seeds, so that, in the language of Scripture, 1 instead of the thorn shall 
come up the fir-tree, and instead of the briar shall come up the myrtle- 
tree?' "—See Godrich's " Sow Well and Reap Well," p. 148. 



EDUCATION OF HOME. 



225 



Nor is it difficult to discover how. Ingenious and 
watchful parents will find many ways of promoting 
that end. A warning, a text, a look like that which 
Jesus gave to Peter, may help to hedge up the way 
of youth. And even though conscience may seem 
callous for a time, it will sooner or later make its 
power to be felt ; it will testify for God, or foretell 
what awaits the guilty soul at last ; and when a par- 
ent's exertions have thus been blessed to stimulate 
conscience, or keep it on its throne, he becomes to his 
children what exaggeration has called him — " For- 
tune, fate, and destiny." 

5. Parents should aim at symmetrical training — 
that is, they should train their children's powers in 
their due proportion, and each in its proper place. 
There are diseases which occasion undue magnitude 
in the parts of the body which they affect, and a sim- 
ilar result may be produced in the mind. But the 
head is not to be pitted against the heart. The love 
and the interests which cluster round Home are not 
to overlay the kindliness which is due to others. 
"While all right principle is inwrought, and no wicked 
thing endured, all endeavors should be used to ma- 
ture a well-balanced character. To accomplish this, 
and for that end to w^atch the tendencies of each child, 
to stimulate or to restrain, to originate or to direct, 
will both try a parent's patience and task his utmost 
skill. They may even prompt the question, " Who 
is sufficient for these things ?" but, on the other hand, 
it both strengthens our hands and soothes our anxie- 
ties to know that " our sufficiency is of God." 

6. If parents be Christians, all the Christian graces 

10* 



226 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



will be trained in their offspring. As Home is, next 
to Heaven, the domain of love, that grace should be 
ascendant. Meekness to bear with — patience when 
trial comes — justice to guard the rights of others, and 
mercy to sympathize with their sorrows — truth to 
produce confidence — courage, that no sin may pass 
unchecked — humanity, that Christ may be imitated 
— all, in short, that can adorn his doctrine, should be 
taught in our Homes — our first normal school, our 
nursery for public life. No doubt the watchfulness 
which all this implies is hard to indolence; it is im- 
possible to every thing but Christian love. But let 
parents be encouraged. What more hard than iron ? 
Yet it can be made to run down like a stream. Or 
what more enduring than rock ? Yet a drop of water 
may rend it in twain, or the tender fibre of a plant 
may penetrate its closest chinks. In like manner a 
father's or a mother's love can penetrate and influence 
where apparent impossibilities abound. At the worst, 
fathers and mothers are not answerable for their 
children's conversion, but only for the use of all scrip- 
tural means to promote that result. Be these means 
employed in simple faith and hope, and God will 
bless both parents and children. 

But the importance of the Christian graces bids us 
to be more specific here. There have been men who 
could conquer the world in arms, but fell a prey to 
themselves — and self-government should therefore be 
strenuously taught. 

" A wretch concentred all in self" 

should never be found in a Christian Home; and 
whether it be the outbreak of passion or the gloom of 



EDUCATION OF HOME. 



227 



eullenness, the young should be trained to strive 
against it. Falsehood should be resolutely banished 
as the root of countless sins. No favoritism should 
intrude there. Xo doubt, a holy earnestness is need- 
ed to give all these things their proper place and 
prominence. But He vrho made us what we are has 
made all this our duty, and when it is attempted in 
faith, our God will establish the work of our hands 
upon us. If any parent will act in the spirit of the 
words used by Pharaoh's daughter regarding Moses, 
and seek to rear his child for God, the hope may be 
cherished that such a child will live before the Holy 
One forever. 

And do not the triumphs of Home, in many cases, 
beckon parents to make such efforts ? All its in- 
fluences, properly employed, promise blessed results. 
There is a divinely appointed connection between 
" training up a child in the way in which he should 
go," and the relative assurance, " when he is old, he 
will not depart from it." No doubt there are many 
sad examples which seem to say the contrary. A 
gifted man and a profound observer has said — " The 
most common of all human complaints is parents 
groaning under the vices of their children. This is 
all the effect of parental influence" — but it is parental 
influence perverted : it is passion ruling in place of 
reason, or mere authority instead of love. Only let 
the training be as the Word of God directs, and the 
result will be as that Word has promised. There is 
an appointed connection, we repeat, between means 
and ends. Use the means, expect the end; and 
then, though God be sovereign, it will be seen that 



228 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



wise and godly training has led to wise and godly 
children. What has supplied the millions who are 
the salt of the earth all round the globe ? "Whence 
come the minds which are influential for godliness, or 
great by reason of goodness ? Is it not from the 
homes of godly parents I Xow, all this sufficiently 
attests the fact, that when man is faithful to what 
God appoints, God is faithful to what He has pro- 
mised. Let a father, then, be what he should be — a 
Christian teacher, a Christian ruler, a Christian friend 
to his children — weeping when they weep, rejoicing 
in their joy, and they will grow up to call him bless- 
ed. " I detect myself to this day, ?? says Cecil, " in 
laying down maxims in my family, which I took up 
at three or four years of age — before I could possibly 
know the reason of them'' — and that is only one ex- 
ample out of millions of what parents can accomplish. 

Farther, we know how wary men are when they 
carry explosive materials, or dwell beside them : how 
wary, then, ought parents to be when they wield 
such concentrated moral influences ? We think of all 
the gentle powers of Xature — the sunshine, the rain, 
and the dew ; or of its more stringent forces, like 
frost or tempest ; and we see them all reproduced, in 
a moral sense, amid the amenities or by the authority 
of Home. Duty is engrafted upon love, and as God 
taught Ephraim of old to go, so parents now, by God's 
blessing, may teach their children whatever is lovely 
and of good report. On the other hand, if we do not 
expect success in such things, is it likely to be grant- 
ed \ Is it by despondency that we honor the Spirit 
of God ? 



EDUCATION OF HOME. 



229 



7. All beautiful things should be taught to children. 
Flowers should attract them. Little birds should 
teach them — " the stork, the crane, and the swallow." 
Like the bee, they should visit all that is lovely. 
Above all, the beauty of a Saviour's love — his special 
love to children, should be much upon their mind. 
And if a parent be wise unto salvation, all around 
him will be crowded with symbols of spiritual things 
which will tell him of God in his goodness, his wis- 
dom, or his power. The thunder which scares, the 
sunshine which gladdens, the little flower and the 
mighty oak, the dewdrop and the heaving sea, will 
all be types to such a parent's eye, but they would be 
empty and unmeaning still, unless they guided him, 
and through him his little ones, to the Altogether 
Lovely. The end of all education, which deserves 
the name, is the restoration of God's image to the 
soul. That is done by leading us to " the Brightness 
of the Father's glory ;" and when that result is aim- 
ed at, God will honor parents of a truth. 

And how encouraging, farther, to know that the 
most august transaction which our world ever witness- 
ed — Kedemption, with all its wonders — is level to a 
child's capacity, because it is best understood by love. 
He is the wisest parent who keeps that always before 
his mind, and most skilfully commends it to his Home. 
Surely if it be true — and it is — that, in the lips of 
many, education means only some lessons in secular 
things, it is high time that believing parents should 
roll away that dishonor from the Saviour, and make 
Him the Alpha and the Omega, the soul and the sub- 
stance, of their efforts. 



230 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



8. And in all this, let the Word of God be ever the 
Christian parent's text-book. Of all books for chil- 
dren, the Bible is the best and the richest. Its endless 
variety — its graphic sketches — its brevity and beauty 
— its tenderness — its unwavering truthfulness — its 
ceaseless reference to God and eternity — its simplicity 
— its pathos, and other peculiarities, will attract and 
allure a family group with unfading freshness — if the 
parental instructor be wise. All the sources of wis- 
dom and knowledge are open there ; all the graces 
are fully developed ; all the counterfeits detected ; 
and that parent may suspect his own tact who does 
not find in the Bible enough for training his children 
from Sabbath to Sabbath. Would we inculcate prac- 
tical wisdom ? Take the Proverbs. Would we learn 
to love? Study Jesus. Would we be bold for him ? 
Imitate Paul — and so of a thousand cases. The Bible 
is the great elevator of our race ; the great censor of 
moral evils ; the great antidote to false opinions. It 
is the vital principle and the preserving salt of society 
— whatever parents teach, then, let them teach the 
Bible. To displace or depreciate it is to dishonor 
God. 

And we should not fail to notice that parents are 
farther encouraged by the beautiful moral law, that 
just in proportion as we train for God, according to 
His Word, we train for ourselves. While the neglect 
of scriptural training is sure to let tendencies become 
passions, such as may trample on our most tender 
feelings, the parent who makes the Word of God the 
rule of his Home is doing all that can be done to at- 
tach his children to him by a manifold tie. It is an 



EDUCATION OF HOME. 



231 



unfailing maxim — "Work God's work, and that in- 
cludes your own : neglect His, and yours is sure to 
suffer. Whatever is thus guided by the will of God, 
and directed to His glory, must be both ennobling 
and peace-speaking to man ; and it is a mournful 
proof that his mind is biased or blinded by sin, when 
any other maxim can for a moment find a lodgment 
in his bosom. 

9. Allusion may also be made to the principle of 
emulation. Some would banish it entirely from edu- 
cation, while others employ it to the uttermost, till 
competition between the young becomes as keen as it 
is upon the race-course. But truth lies in the middle. 
There is a right principle in man which prompts him 
to pursue excellence : there is a wrong which prompts 
him to envy it. Now, the one of these should be 
fostered, the other should be repressed ; and if there 
be tact and kindness among the trainers of Home, 
the evil tendency may there be nipt. And when the 
Scriptures place " emulations" among " the works of 
the flesh,"* they warn us to nip it, if we seek the 
well-being of the young. They must be taught rather 
to surpass themselves than their fellows : to compete 
in goodness, in humility, in kindness, rather than 
for precedence or power. Rewards should be given 
not so much for mental cleverness as for moral ac- 
tions, and the perils which accompany stimulated 
competition will thus be diminished or disappear. 

10. And, in connection with this, all care should be 
taken to avoid what might be called the vice of cram- 
ming the minds of children. "The education of 

* Gal. v. 20. 



LAWS AXD MAXIMS OF HOME. 



show" is so much more common than training in what 
is good and true, that it demands some earnest anti- 
dote. If effect be aimed at, rather than efficiency — if 
it be the ambition of parents to see their little prod- 
igy stand the first in perhaps ten different studies — 
then their course is plain. Let them proceed as many 
are doing — and such prodigies will become more and 
more obviously the living advertisements of their 
schools. Yet how unwisely ! The process of educa- 
tion has been likened to an attempt to fill a narrow- 
necked vessel. Dash water upon it, and drops enter 
— introduce but a limited stream, and the vessel is 
speedily full ; and we need not tarry to apply the 
illustration to the present subject. 

While avoiding all details of training or education, 
there is one particular which should not be utterly 
omitted. For centuries past it has been a common 
practice to make the study of words an essential part 
of all education, except about the very lowest, - What- 
ever be the sphere for which a boy is designed — in 
the army or the navy, in the pulpit, or at the bar, in 
the chair, or at the desk — usage demands that he 
shall spend years not a few in that study. The prac- 
tice has been carried so far as to prove an irksome 
bondage to some — it has terminated often in life-long 
disgust. But a change is passing over that usage. 
Nature and the destination of our sons in life are 
more consulted now, and both the young and their 
friends may rejoice in the change. Men now under- 
stand that it is not enough merely to develop mind : 
it should be developed in harmony with the place 
which the young are to occupy in life, and it seems 



EDUCATION OF HOME. 



233 



nearly as unwise to insist that all shall be disciplined 
in one way as that all should be of one business or of 
one stature. 

It must be said, however, that as a discipline for 
mind, the study of languages is scarcely to be sur- 
passed by any other. The instructive and not seldom 
amusing transitions which it exhibits, the history of 
a country conveyed in its language, and similar 
things, all indicate how important or attractive such 
a study could be made ; and if we were thus trained 
aright, it would be more commonly true than it is 
that we use language, instead of language using us. 
But some examples may best illustrate this subject. 

Tribulation, then, is a word at once and easily un- 
derstood, but how full of significance does it become 
when we learn that it is derived from tribulum, an 
instrument for thrashing corn, or separating the wheat 
from the straw ! Heathen is a familiar word, but its 
meaning becomes instructive when we know that as 
the people of old who lived on heaths, or in wild dis- 
tricts, were the last to be Christianized, the name 
which described them is now applied to non-Chris- 
tians. The word kind is Jcinned, and mankind means 
man-all-related. In the same spirit kindness tells of 
the feeling which should prevail among kindred. 
Conscience has even a deeper meaning than is com- 
monly supposed, and implies knowledge held in com- 
mon with another — in this- case with God. Sacra- 
ments again, is both curious and instructive in its 
history. Through various changes it came to sig- 
nify the oath taken by a Roman soldier to follow his 
captain, and was thence transferred into the Christian 



234 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



Church to mean the believer's consecration, or his 
oath to Christ. These and other examples show how 
much history, morality, or religion may be conveyed 
by a single word ; and were the study of language 
wisely and skilfully employed for conveying such 
knowledge, that study might be redeemed from much 
dullness and many a witticism — there would be less 
force in the question whether youth requires 

" No nourishment to feed the growing mind, 
But conjugated verbs and nouns declined?" 

It may be an exaggeration, but it is based upon truth, 
to remark that more knowledge may be conveyed by 
the history of a word than by that of a campaign.* 

After all, however, it is to things yet more than 
words that the attention of the young should be 
mainly turned. It is true that every word learned 
by a boy is a new power, or a new means to many 
ends ; but the practical spirit of our age demands 
practical studies ; and there can be little doubt that 
the signs of our times in this respect point to en- 
gineering, to chemistry, and other pursuits, rather 
than to languages which all reckon dead, and many 
hold to be deadening. 

And such are some discursive hints on education — 
a subject so important as to be solemn. No attempt 
has been made to furnish detailed directions ; we only 
offer suggestions, which Christian parents may consult 
while seeking the welfare of the young, and the hap- 
piness of Home. Here above most of the duties de- 
volved upon parents, momentous issues are at stake. 

* See Trench "On the Study of Words," where we have found our 
examples. 



EDUCATION OF HOME. 



235 



The destinies of the young for all time, mayhap for 
eternity, are involved. Mind is to be trained. Con- 
science is to be quickened, and kept quick. The 
affections are to be elevated, purified, and deepened, 
all according to the truth of God; and that parent 
who does not feel the responsibility of these things 
is not qualified to train. When the limb of a little 
child is fractured or dislocated, we need not tell what 
appliance after appliance is employed to put it right. 
Affection meanwhile longs for the day when strength 
shall be restored ; and shall less ingenuity be put 
forth, or less earnestness displayed, in seeking to ad- 
just what is wrong in a soul ? 

EXAMPLES. 

Philip Henry, to whom reference has been already 
made, was one of the most remarkable men of a re- 
markable age. He fell on evil times, when earnest 
religion was persecuted, and as far as possible put 
down. He was restrained from his much-loved work 
of preaching by tyrannical laws ; but while the mem- 
ory of those tyrants who oppressed him has now sunk 
to the level which sooner or later awaits the name of 
the oppressor, Philip Henry is enrolled among those 
who will be held in everlasting remembrance. Now, 
his method of educating his children was not the least 
remarkable peculiarity of his home. 

1. Immediately after his family prayers at night, 
Philip Henry's children waited on their bended knees 
for a special prayer on their behalf, for the blessing of 
God on high, and that blessing was always implored 
with great solemnity by their father. 



236 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



2. Each Thursday evening, instead of reading the 
Scriptures, he catechized his children and servants. 

3. On Saturday evening they gave an account 
of what they remembered of the religious read- 
ings and exercises of the week. This Philip Henry 
called " gathering up the fragments ;" and these 
fragments, under his management, often furnished 
a rich repast. 

4. The Lord's day was his great sowing season in 
the minds of his household. He deemed it a remnant 
of one paradise pointing forward to another, and took 
for his guide that clause in the fourth commandment, 

which says, "Thou, thy son, and thy daughter 

it is the sabbath of the Lord in all your dwellings." 
Remembering that in the Temple the daily sacrifice 
was doubled on the Sabbath, he tried spiritually to 
do the same, and all his household arrangements for 
the Lord's day were made subservient to that end. 
It was, at the same time, his endeavor to make all 
that concerned religion joyous or attractive, and his 
Sabbaths were thus made refreshing at once to Philip 
Henry's home and his own soul. 

5. That his children might see religion in its proper 
place, Henry frequently observed fasts in his family, 
or had stated days for special humiliation and prayer. 
" Thus was he," in the reverent language of his son 
and biographer, "prophet and priest in his own house, 
and the king there also, ruling in the fear of God, and 
not suffering sin upon any under his roof." 

6. Henry had some general maxims from Scripture 
w^hich he early sought to fix in the minds of his chil- 
dren, like nails in a sure place. " Remember thy 



EDUCATION OF HOME. 



237 



Creator," " Come to Jesus," " Bear the yoke in thy 
youth," "Flee youthful lusts," "Cleanse thy way," 
— these, and other brief maxims, were household 
words with him, and were early inwoven with the 
thoughts and the habits of his children; so that it 
w r ould have been an outrage to their own hearts, as 
well as to their father's lessons, to forget them in life. 

But, 7. Along with these, the more ordinary kinds 
of scholarship were not neglected by Philip Henry in 
training his children. Among other things he taught 
his eldest daughter Hebrew, when she was only six or 
seven years of age, by means of an English and He- 
brew grammar which he had compiled for that pur- 
pose, and the pupil was carried so far forward by such 
fatherly assiduities that she could translate a Hebrew 
psalm with ease.* 

Another admirable exemplification of Home me- 
thods of education, or of the spirit which should 
pervade them, may be found in the life and the pains- 
taking of Edward Bickersteth. In training for spir- 
itual prosperity, his maxims, as recorded by himself, 
were these : — Pray for the children : ever instil Chris- 
tian maxims : act toward them in the spirit of the 

* " Every day of the week Ms custom was, every morning 

and night, to read a chapter to his family, and expound it distinctly 
and clearly, and, after singing a psalm and prayers, to appoint his chil- 
dren to retire by themselves, and write over a copy of his exposition ; 
by which means, as himself once told me, every one of his children, 
five in number, had the exposition of the whole Bible by them, written 
with their own hands. This custom he kept up constantly in his own 
house for above twenty, if not above thirty years together, with- 
out any intermission, except in cases of absence from home, which hap- 
pened but seldom." — See Life of Philip Henry, by Sir J. B. Williams, 
Notes. 



238 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



Gospel : watch over their intercourse with others : 
teach them to govern their tempers: see that they 

diligently attend to the means of grace In 

every point show them Christ — he is the root of all 
spiritual prosperity, the physician of body and soul, 
and the giver of mental power. He is altogether 
lovely in all his w T ays, and every thing should turn 
the mind to him. In every walk, in every lesson, in 
every event, in every sin, in every mercy, Bickersteth 
thus tried to speak to his children concerning a Sav- 
iour. He was the sun and the glory of every day; 
and children so trained have learned to call their fa- 
ther blessed. Bodily health was not neglected, nei- 
ther was the culture of the mind, nor accomplishments, 
so far as they were Christian ; but this man of God 
ever put that wisdom first which came from heaven 
to guide us thither, and, amid ten thousand proofs of 
the ravages of sin, it is one of the most conclusive, 
that parents expect prosperity in any sense for their 
children, while neglecting to lead them in the good 
way of the Lord. With the exquisite pathos of a 
mother whose heart had been deeply wounded, poetry 
may tell of the Homes of England— 

"How beautiful they stand, 
Amidst their tail ancestral trees, 
O'er all the pleasant land ;" 

but unless the fear of God be reigning there, even 
such homes are morally bleak, and desolate, and 
hastening to decay. 

Such, then, are specimens of the painstaking em- 
ployed by Christian principle to educate children for 
God. And no need to depict at length the contrast 



EDUCATION OF HOME. 



239 



between all this and the superficial character of much 
that is called education. Read, for example, the life 
of any of the world's devotees : let it be that of Lady 
Blessington, and the contrast there will strike any re- 
flective mind as much as the contrast betw r een a fleet- 
ing mirage and a solid, material landscape. Oh, need 
we wonder that they who are trained amid such un- 
godliness become the votaries of self, of pleasure, of 
sin ? Were the Homes of England guided by such 
principles as those which directed Henry or Bicker- 
steth, then it would become widely true that— 

" There first the child's glad spirit loves 
Its country and its God." 

but as it is, where the fear and the love of God do 
not preside, the nurslings of ungodliness become at 
last, by a sure decree, the sons and the daughters of 
woe. 



240 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



CHAPTEE HI. 

THE AUTHORITY OF HOME. 

The Fifth Commandment — A Conflict of Duties — Heavenly Wisdom — The Moral 
Throne — A Constitutional Sovereign — Godless Children of Godly Parents- 
Explanations — Examples — Colonel Aaron Burr — Xapoleon Bonaparte — George 
Washington — John Albert Bengel — Xoah Webster. 

" Honor thy father and thy mother," are the divine 
words which decide the Authority of Home, and de- 
cide it beyond the reach of sinless challenge forever. 
If aught were needed to enforce or illustrate such a 
precept, we find it in the words — " Children, obey 
your parents in all things." Modern theories of edu- 
cation may be advanced ignoring that authority ; 
parents may thus be tempted to relax their control, or 
to be less circumspect in their supervision ; but wher- 
ever it is lessened or presented in a light different 
from God's, God and man are there in conflict, and 
disorder will ensue. The domestic constitution is 
outraged, and as that constitution is divine, it never 
can be violated without sin, and its close companion, 
sorrow. 

Eut in referring to parental authority, we speak of 
Christian Homes, and assume that the will of God is 
a rule to the parents. We have seen a despotic fa- 
ther drive from his presence, by harsh, unfeeling con- 
duct, the child who would have made God's truth the 
standard of judgment, and in such a case, there is a 



AUTHORITY OF HOME. 



241 



painful collision between duty to God and duty to 
an earthly parent ; it is the old question as to obeying 
God rather than man. All such cases demand the 
very meekness of wisdom, lest, under the guise of 
religion or the plea of conscience, children be only 
indulging a form of domestic rebellion. . But where 
God's truth is the acknowledged standard, the path 
of duty is plain : the parent's authority is over all : 
his will may not be challenged : his word is law. 
Does he issue an order, for example, regarding the 
books to be read, the company to be kept, or the path 
to be pursued by his children? Then to oppose or to 
evade his will is undisguised sin, and will bring the 
soul to sorrow — perhaps into peril. 

No doubt, the parent needs wisdom, and tenderness, 
and care, ere he issue such an order. A command 
given in anger will most probably be such as cannot, 
be enforced ; and then parental authority suffers. 
Hence the need of asking wisdom from Him who 
giveth liberally, and upbraideth not ; and hence also 
the call to fathers and mothers not to provoke their 
children to w T rath. But a parent's abuse of power 
cannot supersede or even modify the divine enact- 
ment ; and that enactment is — " Children, obey your 
parents in all things." Between the extremes of lax- 
ity and of strictness, every parent, guided by love, 
must seek the narrow channel; and if parents seek 
it where God has laid it down, they will not seek in 
yaiu. 

But though God has thus placed a parent on a 
moral throne, it is not the throne of an autocrat. Nay, 
a father is a constitutional king, and a mother a con- 

11 . 



242 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



stitutional queen. Each, has a book of laws, binding 
alike on sovereign and subject; and when they are 
obeyed, families know indeed what it is to live under 
the Prince of peace ; the olive branch may wave con- 
tinually beside that hearth. 

True : a parent's authority may be resisted by way- 
ward youth. Command and entreaty may be alike 
despised, and some may plunge into sin, as if in re- 
taliation or revenge for the holiness of their father's 
home. This has been done in a thousand cases, and 
confessed with contrition in a few. In explaining the 
anomaly thus presented " of Christian parents with 
unchristian children," one has spoken of some whose 
" tastes, pursuits, and habits seem to run counter to 
those of their early home, and over whom the silent 
tear of parental grief is often shed." " Surely there 
is cause for weeping," it is added, "when the fond 
heart which has watched with solicitude over the 
helpless years of infancy, studying by a thousand 
self-sacrifices to promote the comfort and happiness 
of the little one, lives to see that cherished child, 
grow up to maturity, alienated from home in opinion 
and feeling, preferring any society to that of the being 
who has fostered it, and seeking amusements diamet- 
rically opposed to the principles taught beneath the 
parent's roof! Is it not a startling fact, that many 
whose names stand high in the Church of Christ are 
so situated? — that even those bearing the high and 
holy office of the ministry, whose preaching has been 
the honored instrument of conversion to many, and 
whose writings have refreshed and delighted thou- 
sands, should be called to bear the heavy sorrow of 



AUTHORITY OF HOME. 



24:3 



domestic disunion — the felt want of sympathy in 
mind with the dear ones of their own family circles ? 
Why are these things so ? 

isow, all this is true ; all this is deplorable ; but, 
without undervaluing the inconsistencies of many a 
godly parent — nay, giving to these their full scope 
and influence for evil — it is still the native unholiness 
of the unrenewed heart that originates the whole of 
what has been described so well. It is not more cer- 
tain that a criminal will hasten from his cell, if the 
door be left open, than that unholy youths will hasten 
to sin as soon as they can or dare. The love of that 
is stronger in their natures than the love of their 
parents. Aversion to all that is holy makes them 
feel as if they were fettered when they may not walk 
as the world does ; and a parent's authority in such a 
case, even though it be backed by a parent's tears, is 
treated as Samson, while unshorn, snapt the withes 
which bound him. 

Still, however, it is a parent's authority, according 
to the Word of God, which forms the basis of Home 
rule, and no penal colony — no pillory — not even the 
gibbet, can serve as a substitute for the divine ar- 
rangement. But be that authority wielded in a right 
spirit, for right ends. Let example enforce authority, 
in the spirit of heavenly truth, and then may the 
hope be cherished that the Father of all the families 
of man will honor his own ordinance, and bless it as 
the means of training up a race to serve him when 
the fathers are no more. 

* See a judicious tract. " Hints to Christian Parents on Little Incon- 
sistencies." 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



There is an excess, however, against which we 
must guard. It is possible to overgovern. Children 
have a title to happiness and to freedom, according to 
the Word of God ; that is a holy happiness and a 
holy freedom, and whatever interferes with that is an 
excess — it will occasion a reaction ; it will crush the 
young, instead of only controlling them. This is not 
designed, of course, to limit a true and .scriptural au- 
thority ; for to limit that were just to attempt to be 
wiser than God. But care should be taken, lest au- 
thority become either the interference of a busybody 
or the overbearing of a despot. Sin must be put 
down. Ho wicked thing can be endured. If en- 
dured, it is encouraged ; and if encouraged, parents 
are guilty ; but, in all such cases, love should hold 
the sceptre ; and, where love does not preside, the 
souls of the young may be repelled and imperilled. 

EXAMPLES. 

The want of parental authority may be traced in 
much of the waywardness under which the world is 
groaning. Many a youth is allowed by blind and 
unwise affection, or by parental indifference and 
disregard for the soul and the eternity of the young, 
to assume the command of Home, instead of yielding 
all submission there. It is recorded of a dishonored 
American, Colonel Aaron Burr, that his early years 
defied all control, and his future career, in spite of 
brilliant abilities, was one which has handed down his 
name to enduring infamy, and this is a case in which 
rebellion at home ended in public disgrace. In spite 
of a pious parentage, he plunged into scenes of hide- 



AUTHORITY OF HOME. 



215 



one iniquity, and lived till old age overtook him 
shunned or pitied by all. An equivocal death-bed 
repentance scarcely furnishes ground for hope regard- 
ing this signal moral ruin. 

Again, the youth and boyhood of the first Napo- 
leon were spent in a similar spirit, and some have 
traced to that source the hecatombs upon hecatombs 
which his ambition sacrificed, and the wide desola- 
tions which he wrought on the earth. On the other 
hand, it is well known that Washington was pas- 
sionate and headstrong as a boy. Some who regard 
him as the admiration of the world are not less 
assured that had he been left to his own control, the 
wayward youth would have become something far 
different from the Washington of history, the founder 
of a mighty empire. But his mother wielded a 
parent's authority. She subdued him by mingled 
firmness and affection, and one who deserves to be 
called k * the delight of the human race,*' in a far 
higher sense than the Roman who wore that title, 
arose to be both her earthlv glory and his nation's 
boast. "We know," one has written, "that Wash- 
ington was rigidly subjected to parental authority in 
childhood ; ri and an example so illustrious may serve 
as a beacon amid much that is unpromising or dark. 
When Washington's mother said to her son, " George, 
God has promised to bless the children who honor 
their parents, and I believe he will bless you for 
returning at my wish," she uttered a prophecy as sig- 
nificant as any ever pronounced by lips which were 
not inspired. Blind affection or unreflecting facility 
of temper in a parent may cast the reins upon the 



216 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



neck of youth. Authority may be exerted only in 
paroxysms, and in such a case it is not authority but 
violence that is employed. But let parents " rule 
well their own households" in the fear of God, and 
the power which He authorizes will be accompanied 
with his blessing. 

We cannot withhold the following example, in ad- 
dition to those already given. John Albert Ben gel 
was not merely one of the most learned, but also one 
of the most loving, men of his age. His life was one 
long act of affectionate interest in all whom he could 
influence, and few men have ever more happily illus- 
trated the blessedness of "the new law of love," than 
this Lutheran divine. But though full of affection, 
he knew as well how to maintain a parent's authority ; 
for as God over all chastens every son whom he 
receives, Bengel was decided in repressing all evil in 
his. For example, one of his sons, when at college, 
wandered into the ways of the fool, and his father 
wrote as follows. His own words will best exemplify 
the authority of Home : — 

" Foolish Son ! . . . . So, then, after all, you are 
not going on well. This will never do. All my for- 
mer misgivings about vou are revived. Do not oblige 
me to consult about you with our friends, so as to act 
upon a resolution which no entreaties of yours will 
alter, and which will be to the following effect — that 
as we have no comfort in you, we will incur no scan- 
dalous disgrace on your account. Be concerned, I be- 
seech you once for all, about duty and propriety, and 
begin truly to care for your real welfare, instead of 



AUTHORITY OF HOME. 



247 



going on any longer in such an "unpromising way as 
obliges all your friends to think of nothing for you 
but warnings and admonitions. Whatever else may 
give me trouble at present, you are giving me the 
most. Well, I have fixed a boundary for you in my 
own mind, and if you pass it, you will have to thank 
yourself for any change that will be made in your sit- 
uation and condition. Reflect, then, at once, whether 
you intend to value most the love of parents, rela- 
tives and friends, or the good opinion of certain wick- 
ed fellows ; and whether you prefer to be found a 
useful member of society, or to become a worthless 
character, an alien from your family, and dependent 
for the rest of your life upon what strangers may 
please to think of you and to do for you. God grant 
you a sound mind and a better disposition ! Troubled 
as I am upon your account, the good conduct of your 
brothers and sisters still enables me to subscribe my- 
self, Your Consoled Father." 

— Here, then, is one man at least, who will not let 
down the high authority of God at the bidding of 
weakness, or so connive at guilt and folly as to foster 
them. Excision was his intended remedy, but the 
firm exercise of the authority of Home was blessed to 
render that dire and last alternative unnecessary.* 

On a subject so important, we may venture yet an- 
other example, and it occurred in the case of the great 
American lexicographer, Dr. Xoah Webster. In the 
discharge of his domestic duties he was watchful, 
consistent, and firm ; and though an earnest student, 

* Memoir of John A. Bengel, p. 462. 



248 



LAWS AJSTD MAXIMS OF HOME. 



he kept the control of his family in his own hands 
down to the minutest particular. In the government 
of his children one rule presided, and that was, in- 
stantaneous and entire obedience — obedience not after 
explanations and reasonings, but as a right, or as due 
by a child to a parent in the nature of things. He 
tried to make it manifest that it was the happiness of 
his children that he sought, and then commanded as 
one having authority. He reckoned it right to enforce 
obedience as due at once to God and to a father, and 
while he regretted the improper relaxation of paternal 
rule, a recoil, he thought, from the overstrictness of 
puritanic times, "Webster was careful to maintain all 
due control in his own domain. As domestic subor- 
dination is needed to prepare men for due subordina- 
tion in public spheres, he aimed at promoting that 
end, convinced that obedient children are ever most 
likely to prove useful and loyal citizens. 

This in regard to moral training. But in the cul- 
ture of the intellect Dr. Webster gave larger freedom 
to his children. His library was always open to 
them. He inured them to habits of inquiry ; he 
prompted them to study the difficult, and urged them 
sometimes even to learn what they could not fully 
understand, that their minds might be braced to 
grapple with difficulties and to overcome them. It 
was, however, upon moral subjects that his procedure 
was peculiarly Scriptural. He ruled well, and was 
blessed in his deed. His children were happy be- 
cause they had learned to obey, and his conduct 
points us to the only thorough cure for not a few of 
our social ills. 



EXAMPLE OF HOME. 



249 



CHAPTER IV. 

THE EXAMPLE OF HOME. 

The Mocking Bird— The Power of Imitation— Its Moral Effects in Children— On 
Parents — Consistency — The Theatre — An Infidel there — His Feelings— Degen- 
erate Children Eeared by Unholy Parents — The Power of a Holy Example — 
Eichard Cecil and his Mother. 

Next to the Authority of Home, as decided by the 
Great Lawgiver, we may place the influence of its 
Example — a subject so important as to demand a sep- 
arate consideration. 

Naturalists describe the mocking bird of the New 
World as one of the wonders of the forest. While it 
may be vocal with a whole choir of singing birds, the 
ear can listen only to that of the mocker, and when 
he is in full song, a bystander might suppose that he 
hears all other birds in one. In his domesticated 
state, that bird whistles for the dog, and the dog 
starts up and hurries away to meet his master. The 
mocker screams like a hurt chicken, and the hen flut- 
ters her drooping wing and bristling feathers, eager 
to defend her brood. The barking of the dog, the 
mewing of the cat, the tune taught by his master, the 
quivering notes of the canary, all are repeated by the 
mocker; and so perfect is his power of imitation, 
that other birds are said to become mute beside their 
rival, as if their powers were superseded by his. 

Now, a similar principle of imitation operates in 
our homes : it is there that its most concentrated 
11* 



250 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



power appears. Affection and duty, precept and 
promise, with all that can sway a young immortal, 
induce or even bind a child to imitate a parent. A 
silent influence is thus constantly put forth, of which 
we may be as unconscious as we are of the beating 
of the heart, but which is not on that account less 
strong, and the character of a child is commonly just 
the accumulated result of this parental example. It 
is not more natural for some young animals to resort 
to the water, and for others to soar into the air, than 
for children to receive impressions through this chan- 
nel. Such effects are daguerreotyped upon them, and 
form part of their very existence : they go with them 
to the grave, and pass with them into eternity, either 
to enhance their joy or deepen their woe forever. 
Like the molten metal delivered into the mould, to 
come forth either an embodied symmetry or a distort- 
ed mass, the child thus receives the impress of the 
parent ; for so perfect is the power of Home, that it 
as really moulds or models us as the potter the clay 
upon his wheel. 

Nor can the heart of youth, with all its proneness 
to evil, suppress the workings of conscience under 
parental example. If a parent lives with eternity in 
view, even a reckless child will feel it ; and though 
the children of godly and consistent parents may be- 
come dissolute, it is long before they can sin like 
other men. They require to be inured and hardened 
awhile, ere they can both trample upon conscience 
and enjoy the pleasures of iniquity. Eternity, it has 
been said, rises up before them, like the ghost of 
Banquo before Macbeth, till they are compelled at 



EXAMPLE OF HOME. 251 

least to compound with conscience, and sin with, a 
mental reservation. 

We are not so Utopian, indeed, as to expect a perfect 
example in any parent, for "there is not a just man 
upon the earth, that doeth good and sinneth not." 
But truth, and the Lord of truth, may surely expect 
consistency in parents, and that is what impresses the 
young. Do they see example steadily bearing upon 
a single point? Is it the endeavor of a parent to 
make the Bible in all things supreme ? Is religion 
not merely an affair of show, or form, on set occasions, 
but habitual and unfailing? Is all turned to Christ, 
as Bickersteth tried to do ? Then, such an example 
will, at least, check what is evil. It will impede the 
tendencies of the young heart, and though a youth 
may try to forget it, it will defy him. " I went to 
the theatre," said the godless son of a godly parent, 
" with one of my companions, to see ' The Minor. 5 
He could laugh heartily at Mother Cole ; I could not. 
He saw in her the picture of all who talked about 
religion ; I knew better. The ridicule on regenera- 
tion was high sport to him — to me it was none ; it 
could not move my features. He knew no difference 
between regeneration and transubstantiation ; I did. 
I knew there was such a thing, and was afraid and 
ashamed to laugh at it. Parental influence," he adds, 
" thus cleaves to a man ; it harasses him ; it throws 
itself continually in his way." 

But all this is little more than repeating truisms, 
and we notice next, that since God has placed such 
power in the hands of parents, how circumspect ought 
they to be as to look, and word, and deed ! There is 



2o2 



LAWs AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



a young soul, or there may be ten, watching every 
movement, and regarding all that passes as a model 
to be copied — nay, if need be, gloried in. Enough 
for plastic infancy that a father or a mother said it — 
that is believed ; that a father or a mother did it- 
imitation instinctively ensues; and that parent has 
not yet learned to watch for his children's souls who 
has not learned circumspection on this vital point. 
Even heathenism taught that nothing impure should 
enter the home where a child resides ; and the senti- 
ment ought surely to be yet more powerful among 
those who name the name of Christ. Tendencies too 
minute to be noticed lead to effects too vast to be 
measured, and a single act may entail eternal results. 
As the down of the thistle, wafted by the breeze car- 
ries the seed which is to be planted in some distant, 
inaccessible spot, the example of parents spreads an 
influence such as no eye but that of Omnipotence can 
trace ; and it has been strongly, but not too strongly 
said, that a chain in the hand of a demon could not 
more irresistibly drag children to ruin than the exam- 
ple of irreligious parents. They betray their helpless 
lambs to that roaring lion who seeks to devour ; and 
who would not, therefore, press home the question, 
Am I incurring that danger ? 

To be practical, then, we ask once more, what must 
be the effect of a parent's example in a home where the 
world is enthroned, and where the god of this world is 
the guide, or the only divinity that is cordially served ? 

What must be the result when parents live in pleas- 
ure, and by the whole force of their example, teach 
their children all to do the same? 



EXAMPLE OF HOME, 



253 



What must the end be, when the Word of God is 
sat aside, and another rule substituted in its place — 
some fitful code of fashion or caprice ? 

What must be the effects when vice, or passion, or 
hatred, or gloomy partiality, or perhaps even patron- 
age of sin, is common in a home, and has then the 
ascendency of law ? If serpents produce serpents, or 
eagles hatch eagles, such parents must be training 
their children for sorrow, unless some miracle of grace 
interpose. In a word, every thing proclaims that the 
example of parents, their fireside life, their conduct in 
common things, is that which is decisive for good or 
ill. When " the child's love of its mother is religion, 
and its reverence for the looks and tones of the father, 
morality'- — that is, when parents have their little ones 
entirely in their power — such examples as have been 
mentioned must tend to the second death. 

It is granted, again, that a godless parent's example 
may disgust a child ; it may be employed by God to 
drive him to the Saviour. But too often it produces 
the opposite effect — it only drives the child into some 
other path of iniquity. How often has the son of a 
grasping miser proved a profligate spendthrift, because 
he had been pinched and starved by his parent's grov- 
elling passion ! But the general law is, that the child 
copies the father ; and like silly sheep, where a whole 
flock will plunge over a parapet into a roaring flood, 
because one of their number has done so before them, 
child follows parent, and generation generation, to a 
terrible, a bottomless perdition.* 

*Yet G-od is sovereign. "Father,' 1 asked a child of a Sabbatk- 
breakmg parent, <; does Gk)d let us break his laws when we like ?*' The 



254 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



It lias been acknowledged again and again that the 
children of devout parents may be bent on self-ruin. 
They would imitate a worldly parent ; but holiness is 
repellent, though it be the holiness of the Bible ; and 
as such children love the wages of iniquity, they often 
hasten to earn them. But that is one thing : an un- 
holy example on the part of parents is another ; and 
of all the gloom which invests the future, no spot 
seems darker than that at which a worldly father is 
to meet his ruined child — the child whom he himself 
had professed and vowed to rear for God, and then led 
to destruction by walking before the little one in the 
broad road to death. It is sad to see the gray hairs 
of parents brought in sorrow to the grave by the sins 
of children, but is there less woe in the counterpart, 
when unholy parents lead their offspring to ruin by 
an unholy example ? 

And what gives solemn emphasis to all this is the 
fact that none but Christian parents can set a right 
example. JSTone else can truly dedicate their chil- 
dren to God, for none else have dedicated themselves. 
All besides, 

" In frantic competition, dare the skies, 
Or claim precedence of the Only Wise 

and can such parents really pray for their children 
with acceptance, or truly love their souls? Nay, a 
practical unbeliever must often contradict his lessons 
by his life, and a child need not be very old to detect 
how hollow are the precepts of such a father. Just 
as water cannot rise above the level of its fountain- 
arrow went home, and the practice which -prompted the question was 
abandoned. 



E XAM PLE OF HOME. 



255 



head, it is not in the power of nature to rise above 
the level of earth ; and that man who is not guided 
by the grace, or enlightened by the Spirit of God, 
must be doing much to mislead or to ruin the objects 
whom he loves, perhaps, as deeply and as well as 
blindfold nature can. The Word of God alone, en- 
throned in the heart of parents, can supply an anti- 
dote to such perils, and happy is the Home where the 
supreme standard is law. 

EXAMPLES. 

There is no room for doubt or speculation upon the 
subject just considered. A thousand instances might 
be quoted of the disastrous effects of a godless paren- 
tal example. Vain then are all attempts to impress 
or guide the young by precepts or lessons ; the terri- 
ble fact which meets the eye, " My father tramples 
upon all these," sweeps them away as the tempest 
sweeps away a thread of gossamer. Let us look, how- 
ever, at an example operating for good. 

In early youth, Richard Cecil, as we have seen, was 
signalized by his waywardness, his bold and hardened 
infidelity. He frequented those scenes where license 
is turned into mirth, and godliness into ridicule ; and 
as one of the avowed despisers, he might have been 
left to "wonder and to perish." 

But his mother was a woman of prayer, and her 
example, by her son's own confession, long continued 
a mystery to him. He could not help noticing that 
she was happy amid many sources of sorrow. He 
knew of enough to crush her, though she had had no 
trial but himself. Yet she bore up under it all, and 



£56 



LAWS AXD MAXIMS OF HOME. 



enjoyed a serenity to which her son, the dupe of many 
lies, could never attain. The Bible, he saw, was to 
her a perennial fountain of gladness, or, at least, of 
meek resignation, and the sight baffled the philos- 
ophy of the young but able infidel. Xow, it is 
said that melting snow will penetrate where torrents 
would roll off without occasioning injury, and in the 
same manner that mother's example penetrated that 
young man's soul. He had ridiculed Christ. She 
adored him as her Saviour. The one was wretched 
amid his panting pursuit of pleasure in sin : the other 
was happy under what might have broken her heart ; 
and that contrast at length awakened young Cecil to 
his folly. The proud scorner became a docile learner. 
Conviction of sin laid him very low ; his mother's ex- 
ample told him how he might be raised from the fear- 
ful pit ; he was raised, and made a burning and a 
shining light from whom hundreds learned the way 
of truth. He had once felt that the Saviour stood 
much in the way of the sinner, and by ridiculing the 
Holy One, that blasphemer tried to make iniquity 
pleasant. But he found at last that the Saviour was 
the way to the Father : he walked there, and was 
saved, and out of that impious youth grace evolved a 
signal monument to the Redeemers glory. 

And all that resulted from a Christian mother's ex- 
ample. When others would have reviled, she prayed. 
When others would have cast out the reckless infidel, 
she bore with the sinner in the spirit of her Lord. 
"When others would have exasperated by severity, 
she warned and wept, and her faith and patience 
were not in vain — nay, she won a soul. Like an- 



EXAMPLE OF HOME. 



257 



other Monica yearning over another Augustine, she 
prevailed; and her example proclaims aloud, "In 
the morning sow thy seed, and in the evening with- 
hold not thy hand ; for thou knowest not whether 
shall prosper, either this or that, or whether both 
shall be alike good." 

Further, as we glance back upon the history of the 
past, the eye is arrested by two historical characters 
weeping as they gaze upon the scenes before them. 
The one is the king of Persia, who looked upon his 
million of soldiers preparing for battle, and wept at 
the thought that in a few brief years all would have 
perished. His thoughts did not wander into eternity; 
he was excited to tears only by the vanity of the 
passing pageant, or of all who were marshalled so 
proudly before him. But the other of the two was 
the King of kings — the Son of God. He also wept 
when he gazed on the crowds who lay before him 
secure, not safe, in their spiritual death. His tears, 
however, flowed and fell for souls, not bodies. He 
would have saved them, but they would not be saved. 
He would have blessed them, but they would not be 
blessed ; and Jesus wept for Gjpd dishonored, and the 
soul's eternity made one of woe. 

Now, these contrasted cases may exemplify two 
great divisions of parents. The body and time alone 
interest one ; the soul absorbs the soul of the other. If 
temporal misery or trial be averted, that suffices for 
one class ; the other does not know peace till the soul 
be cared for and hopefully safe. To this object all is 
made subservient. Example, warnings, lessons, pray- 
ers, all converge upon that point. The result is — 



258 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



" A sacred and home-felt delight, 
A sober certainty of waking bliss 

and that family is not yet pervaded by the Spirit of 
J esus, where the heads of the household are not thus 
earnest, devoted, resolute in guiding the young aright. 
In a household — we repeat it again and again, for the 
maxim, though commonplace, is golden — in a house- 
hold where truth and love preside, souls are the 
primary care ; and as they are also God's, his bless- 
ing may be expected when we are like-minded with 
Him. 



STANDARD OF HOME. 



259 



CHAPTEE V. 

THE STANDARD OF HOME. 

The Word of God— All the "Word— And Nothing but the Word— The whole Armor 
of God — Fallacies — The Murmur of Selfishness — An Example — Painstaking 
unto Prayer — Benefit of a High Standard to Parents— The Great Struggle — On 
which Side are Parents ? — Examples — C A Seminary — Mrs. Huntingdon. 

In one point of view, the whole influence of the do- 
mestic constitution depends upon the standard which 
parents set up to guide themselves and their house- 
holds. The question, therefore, here arises — While 
aiming at those results which the influences of Home 
are designed to produce, what is to be our model or 
our rule ? 

And as that question is important, the answer is 
ready — The "Word of God — the whole Word of God 
and nothing but the Word of God, can be the stand- 
ard of a Christian Home. When inspiration gives 
directions for a Christian warrior, it both describes 
the armor, and commands us to put on every piece. 
We are not allowed to select what we please, and re- 
ject the rest — as if the sword were needful, but not 
the breastplate, or the helmet, but not the shield. 
Every portion is needed in its proper place, and to re- 
ject any part of the suit is vainly to arrogate a wis- 
dom superior to that of Him who teaches our hands 
to war and our fingers to fight. 

And in the same spirit, when a parent would pro- 
ceed to the right ordering of his household, it is to be 



260 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



done with the whole "Word of God for his guide. He 
may not select what portions he deems right or need- 
ful, and reject the rest, as if his home did not need 
them. Various fallacies may solicit his deference. 
Prevailing customs — the necessity of indulging our 
children — the opinions and practices of other parents 
reputed exemplary or godly — these and other consid- 
erations may clamor for attention ; but however plaus- 
ible they may appear, they all demand instant rejec- 
tion, if they oppose the Word cf God. Prevailing 
customs are not to be lightly outraged — but are they 
according to God's Word, or are they not ? The ten- 
der child is not to be overtasked, as if God exacted 
from him what only manhood can supply. But, in 
that case, the child is not the judge : it is not to 
him that the parent is responsible— and deference to 
him at the expense of God's truth can only pamper 
passion, or increase inborn tendencies to evil. The 
law and the testimony, therefore, form the supreme, 
nay the sole standard — and Home is happy just in 
proportion as that maxim reign? over all. 

Xo doubt, children will feel aggrieved, as the self- 
ish, young and old, ever do, when heavenly truth 
opposes human passion ; and that will increase a 
Christian parent's trials, for it is painful to thwart the 
objects of our affection, or be exposed to their unrea- 
soning suspicions. But that parent, conscious of his 
love, will here take up his cross. He stands between 
two. He is the father of his children, but he is him- 
self a child of God — and to evade or equivocate, when 
we know the will of a heavenly Father, can never 
lead to joy. His Word, then, without dilution or al- 



STANDARD OF HOME. 



261 



]oy, is the standard of Home ; ancf the more simply 
we cling to it, the more serene is the true peace of 
our families. 

And that Word itself leaves no doubt upon this 
subject. Some of its sayings have been already quot- 
ed ; but we point to them again. 

1. God's Word is to be in the parent's heart.* 

2. That Word is to be diligently taught to our 
children, f 

3. To promote that end we are to talk of God's 
Word, when we sit in the house, or walk by the way 
— when we lie down, and when we rise up. How- 
ever we are employed, it is at once our standard 
and our guide. As " the nurture and admonition of 
the Lord" can include nothing that is opposed to His 
will, that will is our sole and sovereign guide. What- 
ever supersedes it, or takes from it, or substitutes 
some other standard for it, however fair may be the 
pretext, is only a light to lead astray. In this way 
the words of a wise man are fulfilled: — " The child 
feels his parent's authority supported by the Bible, 
and the authority of the Bible supported by the par- 
ent's weight and influence." Be the domestic con- 
stitution thus upheld upon its right basis, that is, the 
truth of God, and all is well, but upon any other 

✓principle, even the wondrous power of Home will be 
feeble against inborn evil, and all its efforts will prove 
as fruitless as an attempt " to stem a mountain stream 
with sand." 

* See Deut. vi. 6, 7. 

f The Hebrew word means to whet — implying frequent repetitions, 
Rnd consequent acuteness. 



262 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



All this, no doffbt, demands painstaking ; but who 
can guide sons and daughters to glory without both 
pains and prayer ? An ever-watchful care is needed, 
but is that too much to be expected from those to 
whom God has intrusted the training of immortals ? 
If miners deep down in the earth, and fishermen in 
their frail craft, amid the heavings of the sea, have 
sometimes carefully and statedly sought their God, 
shall parents, with their families around them, and at 
ease, really do less ? It were pleasing to indolence 
to glide down the stream of custom, and be satisfied 
with the world's standard, to do as others do, and be 
what others are, but they are the "dead to God" who 
do so. " We will serve the Lord," are words which 
godly parents will inscribe upon their doorposts and 
lintels. "Whoever may compromise God's pure truth, 
they will not. His standard shall be theirs, though 
they should be alone in upholding it ; and as the re- 
ward of such a spirit, such parents will see their chil- 
dren rising up to bless them, though it may be after 
many days. 

But, further : The erection of such a standard as 
God's in our Homes, may devolve upon parents the 
necessity of acting according to that standard them- 
selves. There must be strict impartiality, for that 
standard admits of no favoritism. There must be due 
subordination, for that standard never sanctions dis- 
order. The lax or the equivocal must be banished 
from that abode, or the standard of God's Word is 
there a perpetual protest against parents and children 
alike, and so in every case. But is not all this a 
blessing, and not a tax % May we not hope thus to 



STANDARD OF HO^IE. 



263 



check all incipient disorder ? Is it not an advanced 
attainment to be able to say, " With me, it is a small 
thing that I should be judged of yon or of man's 
judgment?" Is it not thus that we practically learn 
the truth, " Great peace have they that love thy law, 
and nothing shall offend them?" The Bible thus 
compels us to choose our side. It is manifest to a 
casual observer that a great struggle is raging in the 
world between the cause of God and that of the 
evil one. It began with Cain and Abel, and has been 
widening and waxing keener and keener ever since 
their day. Now an attempt is made by the world to 
lower the standard — by the church, to raise it : by 
the world, to tone down holiness till it melts into sin 
— by the church, to perfect holiness in the fear of the 
Lord. To reinforce the world's position, a thousand 
plausibilities are urged : — The loss of worldly advan- 
tages, or social position ; the danger of over-strictness, 
or being righteous overmuch, are all pled that men 
may keep their homes as near the world's level as 
may be. But, on the other hand, some would see in 
their homes — 

"As much of heaven as heart can hold;" 

and surely parents who love their children should 
thus take their place upon the side of heaven. If 
conscience be consulted with the Word of God for its 
light, there can be but one resolution in such a case 
on the part of every believer, and it is this : — Let the 
Word of the Lord endure forever in my home, and 
everywhere beside. In a better spirit than Balaam's, 
that seer's words may then be employed — " If Balak 
would give me his house full of silver and gold, I can- 



264 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



not go beyond the word of the Lord my God, to do 
less or more." 

EXAMPLES. 

It has been the complaint of some godly men, that 
even Christians are now rapidly adopting the maxims 
of the world in regard to the nurture of their chil- 
dren. It seems as if preparation for time were their 
aim, and not meetness for the inheritance of the saints 
in light. By a cruelty which wears the garb of kind- 
ness, young souls are thus exposed to jeopardy, or, it 
may be, enticed to ruin. They are schooled mainly 
for earth ; they are permitted to tamper with the 
equivocal, and walk along the verge of spiritual death. 

In other cases, however, God's standard is set up. 

C -was born in Leeds : his parents were religious : 

they trained him in the ways of righteousness, and 
did what they could to plant betimes the seeds of im- 
mortality in his soul. It was done with apparent 
success. As the parents felt the power of truth, and 
deferred to the supremacy of God, they trained 

C to do the same, and he seemed to defer at least 

to their standard. 

But his father died when the youth had reached his 
fifteenth year.. He was then obliged to learn a trade, 
and with it he learned also the habits of a profligate. 
The standard of Home was no longer to his mind : 
he defied the restraints of a widowed mother, and 
fled from her vicinity that he might not be hampered 
by her urgency or example. For two years he led a 
guilty wanderer's life ; but on one occasion, during his 
Sabbath orgies, he was invited by an aged believer to 



STANDARD OF IIOME. 



265 



enter a house of God which he was passing, in the 
company of one as lawless as himself. The sugges- 
tion awoke for a moment the recollection of former 
days — he complied — and the sight of parents with 
their children worshipping their God did for him 
what swine-herding and hunger did for the prodigal 
in the parable. The past affected the present, and the 
wayward youth was reclaimed. Though he passed 
through a terrible struggle, he happily emerged at 
the side most distant from the City of Destruction, 
and eventually proceeded to Africa as a missionary, 
where he labored to win souls as he had formerly 
tried to ruin his own. 

Now, had the standard of that youth's home been 
a worldly one — had he been trained, like many of the 
rising race, in the world's way and not in God's — the 
sight of the worshippers in that Sabbath assembly 
would have been powerless over him. He could 
have beheld them without emotion, and passed away 
without any saving impression. But the echoes of 
the past floated back upon his soul — they entered it, 
like the music of our native land when heard in 
foreign parts. The standard set up in his home, and 
early imprinted on his memory, became a vivifying 
power — a moral fulcrum on which to rest a moral 
lever, and salvation was the result. 

Another example might be found in the history of 
a certain Christian Seminary. It was the endeavor 
of those who presided there to regulate all by the 
heavenly standard, and, during the very first years of 
its existence, a goodly number of the young became 
hopefully decided for God. True, religion may be 
12 



266 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



presented to youth tinged with the rigors of Sinai 
far more than the beatitudes of Zion. " Thou shalt 
not," may be constantly rung in the ears of the young, 
and may utterly supersede " Come unto Me or, "It 
is I : be not afraid ;" or, " Rejoice, and be exceeding 
glad.' 5 But, in that case, the standard is not the 
Scriptural one, nay it is a counterfeit or a caricature, 
and what wonder then though youth be repelled ? 
But, let the Divine standard be adhered to, " pure 
and simple." Let men just do with it what New 
Zealand mothers were wont to do with their children 
when they carried them to their idol temples, that 
" the spirit of the god" might there be infused. 
Then the blessing will be granted ; for where the 
right standard is set up, right results may be waited 
for in hope. 

And we know not how soon. Mrs. Huntingdon 
has recorded that such was the standard presented to 
her, that about the age of three she was obliged to 
face the question — " Shall I give my heart to God ?" 
and, though her decision then was " Not yet," the 
right choice was made at last. And President Ed- 
wards did not deem it beneath the majesty of his 
mind to describe the conversion of a child of four 
years of age, a child whom the heavenly standard 
had elevated, and made kindred with the spirit-world 
even while she dwelt on earth — such are the results 
which follow the believing use of God's truth. We 
should, therefore, attempt no unholy compromise with 
the world, nor ever try to buy its smile by bartering 
away any fragment of truth. God has not prescribed 
either too high or too low a standard ; and there is 



STANDARD OF HCBIE. 



267 



happiness in the very attempt to be or to do what 
He has appointed in his word. A Home where the 
Bible is supreme is the only Christian one ; and we 
approach the Christian standard only in proportion as 
the God of the Bible is enthroned and obeyed. 



268 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



CHAPTEE VI. 

THE RESPONSIBILITIES OF HOME. 

A Parent's Position — A Family Group — Its Employments — For what are Parents 
Responsible ? — Home should be Happy; — The Happiness of Goodness — Not of 
masked Worldliness — The Priceless Freight — Promises Fulfilled — Examples — 
John C. — Others. 

The position of a parent is one of the most responsi- 
ble upon earth. In one point of view, he holds the 
destinies of two worlds in his hands. The souls of 
his children depend absolutely upon him. As their 
purveyor, he provides for them ; as a friend, he coun- 
sels ; as a guardian, he tends. The power which 
wields all these influences is surely great, and a par- 
ent's responsibility is in proportion to his power. 

To illustrate this — see a parent seated in the midst 
of his family. There are five, six, or seven immortal 
beings waiting to be prepared by him for eternity. 
They instinctively ask to profit by his experience, 
or share his gathered stores of wisdom. As long as 
they are not corrupted by sin, nor blinded by passion, 
that parent's word is law ; it is a sufficient authority 
for all facts, and a sufficient reason for all arguments. 
To question that father's word were painful alike to 
the youngest and the oldest child. They may not 
yet have felt the force of the truth, " thus saith the 
Lord," but " my father said it," is the ultima ratio 
of every well-conditioned Home. 

Now, while this demonstrates the responsibility of 



RESPONSIBILITIES OF HOME. 



269 



the parent, it may help us to understand to what that 
responsibility amounts. 

He is responsible for regulating his own conduct 
by the truth of God, and so enforcing its lessons by 
his life, as well as by his lips. 

He is responsible for explaining and applying that 
truth to the hearts and minds of his children. Facts, 
doctrines, and duties, as God has revealed them for 
our guidance to glory, are all to be made known. 

And a parent is responsible for much prayer to God 
for a blessing upon all other means. As the minister 
of his little but beloved flock, he is to give himself to 
the ministry of the Word and to prayer on their be- 
half. 

He is responsible, moreover, for upholding all due 
subordination and order. Under his roof the strong 
are not to oppress the weak, nor the cunning to over- 
reach the simple and unsuspecting. 

Farther : a parent is responsible for repressing evil 
by the rod, if need be, though it should never be ap- 
pealed to till all else has failed. 

Farther still : a parent is bound, or rather it is his 
privilege, to encourage all that is lovely and of good 
report. While he labors and prays to keep his little 
ones from the moral Maelstrom of the world's ways, 
he is to screen the tender germ of goodness from all 
that would nip it. Home is to be to it at once a genial 
climate and a kindly soil, that by the- blessing of heav- 
en the fruit may be unto holiness, and the end ever- 
lasting life. 

Or, if we may glance at some details, a parent is 
specially responsible for teaching his little flock the 



270 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



lesson of the love of Jesus. It is by that love that the 
Father of the redeemed family captivates all its mem 
bers, and, if skilfully employed, it may melt — it may 
win or allure the young to him who loved them so well, 
and was much displeased when his followers, through 
a mistaken zeal for his dignity, sought to repel " the 
little children." 

A parent is responsible, further, for teaching his 
little ones that they are fallen, sinful, and without 
hope, except through Christ. He has to make plain 
the need of a sanctifying Spirit, as well as of a redeem- 
ing Saviour, and to unfold the parts of that amazing 
system, at once so simple and so profound, by which 
God would guide us through the wilderness of earth 
to the Canaan that is on high. 

Or, once more : the parent is responsible for duties 
to himself, as well as to the domestic constitution ovei 
which he presides ; and, in the sight of all these things, 
may we not ask — Is there a responsibility more sol- 
emn, a position more fraught with pleasure or with 
peril, than that of the father of a family ? The whole 
counsel of God is to be his standard ; he is to endea- 
vor, in faith, to make it the standard of his Home — 
and " who is sufficient for these things ?" The only 
adequate answer is- — " I thank God, through Jesus 
Christ my Lord." 

It is the undoubted design of the Holy One, that 
Home should be happy. All the tones, the attitudes, 
the games, and the jubilant spirits of youth, testify to 
that, and it makes well-conditioned age happy, nay, 
almost young again, to witness the glee of youth. 
But it is not more certain that our homes are meant 



RESPONSIBILITIES OF HOME. 



271 



to be happy, than that they can be happy only by 
goodness — goodness according to the mind of God. 
It is not the insipidities of the frivolous that can make 
the young truly glad. It is not the indulgence of 
mere worldliness — masked, perhaps, or gilded by 
some fair name, but worldliness after all. It is good- 
ness ; it is innocence ; it is the will of God guiding 
them, that alone can conduce to happiness ; and for 
promoting that result parents are responsible to God. 
Yielding to blind fondness, and calling it affection, or 
to an indolence which makes ail discipline a burden, 
that responsibility may be evaded, but it cannot be 
escaped. . God has given power to the administrative 
head of the domestic constitution ; for the use of it 
he is responsible, and, when used in dependence upon 
the promised grace, it will be influential, like the seal 
applied to melted wax, or the marble giving back to 
the plastic hand of genius the forms of beauty which 
appear to live and to move. 

Parents, then, are sailing through a narrow channel 
where rocks and whirlpools abound. At the same 
time, the freight is priceless — it is composed of jewels 
fit to adorn the crown of the King of kings. Is a 
parent in such a case alive to his true position ? Has 
he discovered the value of those jewels of which he 
is the guardian ? Then he may well cry for help, for 
wisdom, for guidance. This feeling of responsibility 
is not meant to vex, or irritate, or chafe him, but only 
to urge him more to the ever-present Surety ; and 
when he is appealed to, a new name, better than that 
of son or of daughter, is given to the soul. The laconic 
but abounding promise — "As thy days, thy strength," 



272 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



will then be fulfilled. Such a parent may know that 
in one place of Scripture at least, disobedience to par- 
ents stands condemned side by side with blasphemy, 
and as he would repress the one, he equally represses 
the other. He is thus found faithful. Where love 
does not succeed he appeals to law, and when this is 
done in the spirit of the "Word, such a father has both 
delivered his own soul and adopted the heavenly 
method of delivering the children whom God has 
given him. They may still resist, for sin can resist, 
every thing except grace. But the hope may be be- 
lievingly cherished that grace will bless the means 
which the God of grace has appointed to be used. 

EXAMPLES. 

John C was a wealthy and an influential man 

in the district where he dwelt. All was well-ordered 
in his home — for many years it was a model. Family 
worship regulated its affairs : he was a magistrate and 
honored in his county. His wife as a " help meet" 
seconded his endeavors to do good, and it would have 
been difficult to say what more was needed to render 
such a Home as his a perfectly happy one. 

But C had an only son on whom he doted, and 

whom he made an idol. That son accordingly became 
the father's plague. By long indulgence the youth 
learned to defy authority ; he mocked at what was 
sacred, and found his sport in mischief. The father 
wept over such waywardness, and amid much that 
might have made him happy, he was often very miser- 
able. 

Now, whence arose such precocious guilt upon the 



PwESPO^SLBILITIES OF HOME. 273 

one hand, and such sorrow on the other ? In one re- 
spect, at least, that lather had set aside the 'Word of 
God. He supplied his son with money without ask- 
ing any account of its expenditure. Stimulated pas- 
sion soon demanded more and more to meet its crav- 
ings ; the son thus preyed upon the father, and the 
Home which had once been a place of peace and of 
prayer, became a place of weeping. Xowthe root of 
this matter is that that father forgot his responsibility 
to God. The rod of correction was spared. He re- 
fused to take up his cross and thwart his son. A 
foolish love to a creature had more influence in that 
parent's mind than a wise fear of God. and hence 
misery at once to parent and to child. It was a radi- 
cal law of God outraged. It was conscience asleep, 
or worse — unheeded if awake. It was God put second. 
That father not merely withheld correction — he re- 
fused to let others tame the turbulence of his child ; 
and when the scales fell from the eyes of the indulgent 
but now unhappy parents, they could trace their 
errors stage by stage to their source, and found them 
all originating in a dormant responsibility, or in igno- 
rance of this truth, 

11 Father, I bless Thy gentle hand : 
How kind was Thy chastising rod 1 
That forced my conscience to a stand. 

And brought mv wandering soul to G-odV' 

Here, then, is a speaking case. A youth is permit- 
ted to select his companions without restraint from 
his parents. Visits are paid, and long absences from 
home pass unchallenged, and unexplained : the house 
of God is abandoned, often with the consent of the 

12* 



2 74 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME, 



parents ; and crime was thus nursed by a blindfold 
love. But all the parties were filled at last with those 
fruits which are sure to follow oblivion of God, and 
the neglect of what is due to Him. The son became 
a robber, cloaked indeed from the eve or the punish- 
ment of man, but open in the sight of God. Madness, 
the result of his own excesses, gleaned up the frag- 
ments of his wasted soul. Infidelity became his 
stronghold against God and conscience. One of the 
most appalling sentences in the Word, that which 
speaks of " murderers of fathers, and murderers of 
mothers," was morally true of him, and it was a sad 
wreck that was witnessed when it was said of young 
0- , " He is dead." 

Now, all this was at least enhanced, as far as man 
can judge, by the want of a right feeling of parental 
responsibility. Had that feeling reigned in the fa- 
ther's conscience, he and his son might both have 
been blessed : as it was, that son was lost, while that 
father went in sorrow to the grave, weeping often 
over his own fatal error. 

Uor was this a solitary case. "Who cannot recall 
some parallel ? Indulgent parents train their children 
amid affluence and ease, and far away from the whole- 
some restraints of the Bible. In process of time, even 
the feeble barrier of natural affection is swept down, 
while the father and the mother, who would not real- 
ize their responsibility to God, are cited at last by 
sorrow to the tribunal of conscience, there to confess 
and deplore the results of their training. They see the 
house of God neglected for the Sabbath excursion, 
but they offer no effective opposition. Debt is con- 



RESPONSIBILITIES OF HOME. 



275 



tracted, and to hide their shame, they pay it. The 
prodigal plunges from sin to sin, he drags his parents 
from sorrow to sorrow, and death or exile to himself 
with life-long grief to them, is often the wages of such 
iniquity. 



276 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



CHAPTEE VH. 

THE REWARDS AND PUNISHMENTS OF HOME. 

Laws and their Sanctions — Bribes — "Patriarchy" quoted — Rewards — Punishments 
— The Need of a Heavenly Guide — Principles in Punishing — Obedience — Evils 
requiring the Rod — Modern Infidelity on the Subject — How the Rod may be 
Spared— The Reins first— Examples— Rev. Thomas Scott— Others. 

If a father be as a king over his Home, and if laws 
be passed to guide it, that legislation must be enforced 
by sanctions. If the enactments be violated, the vio- 
lation must be punished : if they be obeyed, the obe- 
dient should feel that " in hearing the instruction of 
their father, and not forsaking the law of their moth- 
er,"* there is a great reward. 

And in regard to rewards, it should be remarked, 
that the domestic constitution is often radically vio- 
lated in this respect. Children are bribed or allured 
to do what should be done upon soul and conscience. 
"In how many families is the heart indulged and 
spoiled as a reward for a little exercise of the head, 
and the child allowed to be self-willed and capricious 
as a reward for being clever ! A little bit of finery 
is made the adequate reward of morality, and a small 
intellectual feat is taught to find its goal in something 
extra to eat and drink. A little violet-like virtue no 
sooner modestly peeps above ground than it is pro- 
claimed, bepraised, magnified, and killed, or turned, 

* Proverbs i. 8. 



REWARDS PUNISHMENTS OF HOME. 



277 



by being made ever present to the consciousness of 
the child, into a poison-plant. Show-children are got 
up and exhibited, as if they were as insensible to flat- 
tery as prize-poultry. Emulation is provoked in a 
manner which calls into activity some of the worst 
qualities of the heart."* 

Now, in such a case, a trespass is committed against 
another radical law ; the whole nature is injured in 
the hope of rendering it good or accomplished. But 
if right exertions should be encouraged — and they 
should — let it be done in wisdom. Let rewards be 
given for goodness rather than for cleverness ; for 
self-conquest rather than victory over others. Surely 
the gross rewards w T hich only pamper juvenile sen- 
suality, should be utterly discarded. The frivolous 
amusement, the stimulant to personal vanity, with all 
that tends to strengthen the merely animal, at the ex- 
pense of the moral, in the young, should be dismissed 
forever. Why should the reward not be some in- 
structive visit to rural scenes ? to some collection of 
natural curiosities? to something which would ex- 
pand and inform the mind instead of pampering the 
body ? something which would show how good God 
is, or how dependent man, instead of inflating with 
pride, or fortifying in frivolity? No doubt, all this 
may tax a parent's ingenuity, as it will increase his 
trouble ; but it is aversion to trouble that impedes 
right training in many cases ; and he who would not 
be troubled by the waywardness of his child, must be 
careful to use the means to train him in w T hat is right 
and true. 

* " Patriarchy," pp. 228-'9. 



278 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



A wise parent, then, will take care that the rewards 
presented to his children shall be such as promote 
their moral health. Here, as everywhere, the Su- 
preme Will must guide ; and every other course 
will be found as futile as the attempt of a savage 
to compel a watch to move by external force, instead 
of winding it up. Let rewards be given in harmony 
with the true laws of our moral nature, and they may 
prove what the breeze is to the sail, what dew is to 
the flowers, or rain to the fissured earth. The Divine 
government is here to be our model ; copy it, and all 
will be blessed. 

But, next, the subject of punishment is surrounded 
w T ith dangers as great as that of rewards. To indulge 
the flash and outbreak of anger is easy. To punish 
merely because the parents quiet or convenience is 
infringed, requires little skill. But to punish, as God 
appoints, in the spirit of blended love and firmness — 
to correct, but not in anger,— demands a wisdom and 
a tact, as well as a tenderness, which only grace can 
impart. Hence it happens that Homes are often the 
scenes either of unchecked transgression, or of violent 
assaults upon the young. Faults are not repressed in 
detail : they are allowed to accumulate till they be- 
come intolerable; and then attempts are made to 
check by the rod, what should have been checked 
by the reins. Parents must now try to bend the 
gnarled oak, because they have neglected the sap- 
ling ; but all this is more akin to caprice and to 
cruelty than correction. Sin in every form must, 
no doubt, be confronted with the rod, if need be; 
but to do that in the spirit of wisdom, and of a sound 



REWARDS A3TD PTTSriSKUXZsTS OF HOME. 



279 



mind, demands the presence and the power of a heav- 
enly Guide. 

There are some outstanding points, however, which 
materially help a parent in this respect. For exam- 
ple, it is right that negligence concerning lessons 
should be punished by restraints in regard to play. 
Encroachment on the property or the pleasure of an- 
other points to some limitation of that of the offender. 
But caprice, or violence, in correcting, will go far to 
justify the transgressor, in his own eyes at least ; he 
will consider every appearance of injustice as a vindi- 
cation of his own aggression. "Punishment."' says 
the Rev. Edward Bickersteth, "must be varied ac- 
cording to the degree of fault. It is important that 
the scale by which we measure the degrees of wrong 
be scriptural. Sins directly against God. and moral 
faults, such as falsehood, passion, and taking any- 
thing that does not belong to them, call for the 
severest punishment, and should never be passed 
by without chastisement; while accidents from care- 
lessness, though they may occasion a serious injury, 
should be visited with a lighter penalty, as not being 
intentional faults."* 

In the spirit of these suggestions, the time has 
surely come, when punishment, by assigning por- 
tions of Scripture, or psalms, or hymns, to be learned, 
should be abolished forever. As if the antipathy of 
the young to the truth were not already sufficiently 
strong, such unwise measures infallibly strengthen it ; 
and it were better to doom our children to climb some 
rugged mountain, or bear some heavv burden, when 

CO ' *j ) 

* See " Domestic Portraiture," 1 Introd., p. xiv. 



280 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



they err, than prescribe sucli tasks as give to the 
Word of God the character of a jailer, or associate 
it with bonds and imprisonments in the minds of the 
young. We may legitimately question that man's 
ability to train who adopts such a course. 

But, to simplify this matter, some evils may be 
specified which demand instant repression. On the 
supposition that it has been made a law in the Home, 
that obedience shall be instantly yielded by children, 
that their happiness is prominently sought, and that 
finesse is never employed in ruling, the following 
offences are to be steadily opposed, and, if needful, 
punished : — 

1. Disobedience to a father's authority, or trampling 
upon a mother's affection; in short, insubordination in 
the very bud. Toleration here is treason against both 
Heaven and Home. 

2. Keeping company with fools. These are the 
wicked. 

3. Every thing akin to envy at a brother or a sister. 
That is not the spirit of Home, but of Hell. 

4. Falsehood and deception in every form, and 
under every guise, as the sure presage of future 
ignominy. 

5. Profuse expenditure, even when children have 
the means. 

6. All that tends to pamper selfishness, that central 
power of most of the evils which reign in the homes 
of men. 

And lastly — to name what is inclusive of all besides 
— whatever is fitted to lower the supremacy of the 
Word of God, or foster sin in any form in the soul. 



REWABDS AXD POTISH^TEXTS OF HOME. 



2S1 



These and similar tendencies are to be instantly re- 
pressed, and where parents neglect that, and conse- 
quently connive at such practices, they but treasure 
up pain for themselves when the day of their unde- 
ceiving arrives : they are throwing oil upon flames, 
or ventilating a blazing pile. 

And this seems the proper place to consider the 
scriptural theory of the rod and its uses. One of the 
modern phases of infidelity, or one of our attempts to 
improve upon God's love and wisdom, would super- 
sede the rod, and let youth grow up uncorrected at 
least by it.* But it is remarkable that upon no duty 
are the Scriptures more explicit than this. He who 
is Love is not so lenient as some earthly parents pro- 
fess to be ; for what can be more distinct than this, 
"He that spareth the rod hateth the child, but he that 
loveth. chasteneth him betimes," or "Chasten thy son 
while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his 
crying V' This, no doubt, implies delinquency on the 
child's part, and not mere passion on that of the 
parent ; but where there is delinquency, correction 
is an ordinance of God. " Thou shalt beat him with 
the rod and deliver his soul from hell," plainly points 
in that direction, and there are children who will call 
their parents blessed forever, because the wayward- 
ness of their youth was thus repressed. 

It is conceded that the rod by itself can accomplish 
no good results : it may harden instead of subduing. 

* The tendency to this is no doubt increased by the use of the rod in 

gratifying passion. " When Dr. found that we had been idle, 

he would flog a whole form till he became pale and breathless, and un- 
able to proceed " — Dr. Cheyne's Autobiography, p. 3, 



282 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



But as one of God's appointed means, it is to be em- 
ployed. Of himself, with his mercy ineffable, it is 
said, " He scourgeth every son whom he receiveth." 
Correction from him is even made a token of his love 
and his watchful care, and earthly parents, guided by 
his Spirit, are in love to do likewise. When needful, 
in brief, let the young bear the yoke in early years, 
and wisdom will follow : let them escape, and they 
may grow up like the wild ass's colt.* 

In our day, however, this subject has passed into a 
new phase. Such is the social condition of our em- 
pire, that in every large town many children grow up 
untaught, untrained, and uncared for. So numerous 
are they, and such is the extent of their depredations, 
that those who watch over the public safety are start- 
led and perplexed. Now it is gravely argued by 
some, that the parents should be punished when their 
children are neglected. Little wanderers who are 
old enough to become public pests, are sometimes not 
old enough to be responsible, at least to public law, 
and the parents, according to some, should be dealt 
with in their stead. And whatever may be thought 
of such a proposal, it implies a tribute to the scriptural 
view of correction. It must be applied somewhere — 
if the child escapes, the parent should suffer. 

It is possible, however, for a right-minded parent 
so to exert his influence that the mere possession of 
the rod shall be enough for nearly every child. It 
should in all cases be the court of last appeal, and if 
love be ascendant in our abodes as it ought to be, if 
parents live as they ought to do, that is, for their chil- 

* See the divine theory of correction, Heb. xii. 1-11. 



REWARDS AND PUNISHMENTS OF HOME. 



283 



dren's well-being, if Home be made happy, and only 
sin and folly repressed, if the minds of the young be 
habituated to the good and the true, a word, a look, a 
signal from the hand, will, in most cases, suffice. Let 
it just be felt in a Home that to lose a father's favor 
or a mother's smile is a dark event in the history of 
any day, and the office of the rod may become well- 
nigh a sinecure. It has been wisely said,** that the 
proper use of the reins may all but supersede the rod, 
and if parents would tenderly and consistently repress 
in time, many a pang would be saved at once to them- 
selves and their offspring. 

Isor is this a theory without precedent in actual 
life. The Rev. Legh Richmond was never known to 
use corporeal chastisement in his family. With him 
the rod meant the seclusion of the offender, for a time, 
from the joys and amenities of Home. The father's 
obvious grief pierced the little culprit to the heart, 
and banishment from that father's favor wrought as 
effectually, almost as instantly, as bodily pain could 
have done. Similar results appear in other cases, 
and happy is that parent who, by living near the 
fountain of wisdom, is thus made wise to reclaim — 
whose frown is a rod, and whose grief gives pain to 
offenders. 

EXAMPLES. 

Rewards will be illustrated in a subsequent section : 
upon Punishments, we observe that when Alexander L 
of Russia visited London, he ordered a watch of ex- 
quisite exactness to be made for him. All was to be 

* Anderson on the "Domestic Constitution, 1 ' chap. v. 



284 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



as perfect as British science, taste, and mechanical 
skill could render it. The costly instrument was ac- 
cordingly constructed, and in due time transmitted to 
St. Petersburg. For some years it regulated the em- 
peror's movements, and answered w r ell the purposes 
for which it w r as made. But when the period came 
that repairs were needed, there was no mechanician in 
Russia who could rectify what was wrong, and the 
instrument w r as returned to its maker to be refitted. 

Now the same thing happens regarding a still more 
exquisite machine — the mind of man. It is distem- 
pered and deranged by sin, and ere it can be refitted, 
its Maker must interfere. He has in wisdom done so, 
and if w r e would have that instrument first rectified 
and then kept right, the Divine wisdom must be con- 
sulted, the Divine plan strictly adhered to, for promot- 
ing these ends. 

And the Rev. Thomas Scott, " whose works do fol- 
low him" in the homes of thousands, was one of those 
who closely adhered to the heavenly plan. After he 
had submitted to " the Force of Truth," his endeavor 
w r as to be guided in all things by the Word of God. 
For his children, he ever " sought first the kingdom 
of God and his righteousness," not doubting but that 
all else would be added. And as to correction, he 
was decided in using it as an appointment of God. 
One of Scott's standing orders was this, " Fix author- 
ity under four years old. The only way of dealing 
with children is to convince them, ' If I do not do as 
I am bidden, I shall suffer for it.' Never let an 
offence pass unnoticed, under the fatal idea that they 
will know^ better when they are older." A child, 



REWARDS AND PUNISHMENTS OF HOME. 285 

moreover, was never allowed, in Scott's home, to gain 
his object by crying. Unyielding firmness, based on 
intelligent affection, was that father's guide, and he 
never bribed a child to insubordination by granting 
to outcry what was not due to right, or from affection. 

This wise and judicious man, then, scrupulously 
acted on the maxims of Scripture regarding the rod. 
He did not apply it for small faults, nor would he 
punish a child for being a child, but only for being a 
wicked one, and calmly and with deliberation, as a 
thing productive of only pain to himself, did he inflict 
chastisement. And the restraint which he imposed 
upon his children was continuous, systematic, but 
affectionate ; so that he was spared the sad necessity 
of compensating for early remissness by rigor at a 
more advanced period. As the result, witness after 
witness has risen up to testify concerning Scott, that 
as his conduct was scrupulously Scriptural in this re- 
spect, his children grew up around him, happy in 
themselves, and blessings to him and to many. He 
confesses that to establish his authority over them, 
generally cost him a sharp contest, and sometimes 
more than one, in their early youth ; but once estab- 
lished, all was comparatively easy. When the child 
discovered that the father was master, and meant to 
be so, or that the rod was the chief umpire between 
them, that settled a crowd of. latent controversies. 
That rod in the hand of love rectified all, and by thus 
adopting the heavenly guide — the Bible — a happy 
home, and lives of honored usefulness resulted. 

Again : a Christian parent was reduced to the ne- 
cessity of chastising one of his sons who had trans- 



2S6 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



gressed a family law, and the painful duty was calmly 
and judiciously done, like one discharging an impera- 
tive responsibility. The fault was explained; its sin 
was pointed out ; the rod was produced ; a prayer 
was offered to God for a blessing on his own ordi- 
nance of correction, and the wayward one was both 
punished and reclaimed. Such is the Divine method, 
as opposed to the human substitutes ; and were par- 
ents guided by reason, as they should be, which of 
the two would be preferred — the method which God 
appoints and employs, or the guidance of passionate 
affection ? How different then the Scriptural appli- 
ance from that brutal treatment which warranted one 
young criminal to exclaim, " Oh, sir, whipping will 
do me no good. I know all about that. I have had 
enough of it before !" — and another to affirm, " My 
father licked me with a rope till the blood ran down 
my back, and my stepmother was watching!" This 
is the correction of the Slave Ship and the Middle 
Passage ; the other, of affection, pained perhaps to 
agony, yet doing its duty at once to God's truth and 
to the young. 



AMUSEMENTS FOR HOME. 



287 



CHAPTEE Yin. 

AMUSEMENTS FOR HOME. 

Luther — Calvin — Brainerd — Infant Happiness — The Eight Path made Plain — The 
Theatre — The Ball-room — Games of Chance — Real Amusements — Bodily Ac- 
tivity — Rural Scenes — Music — The Microscope — The Telescope — The Menag- 
erie — The Garden — Parental Parties — The Children of the Godly — Examples 
— John Newton — Montague Stanley — Rowland Hill — Legh Richmond. 

The world too often attaches no notion to earnest, 
spiritual religion but that of bondage and gloom. 
Men's accounts of it are caricatures ; their estimate is 
a prejudice or an antipathy, in as far as it is not igno- 
rance. They regard the truth of God in its sim- 
plicity and power as fanaticism, and feel it to be 
altogether fettering. 

On the other hand, they who know the truth, and 
whom the truth makes free, may enjoy the life that 
now is, as God's gift, w r ith a fine and a delicate 
relish. To them, godliness is profitable for all things, 
having promise of two lives — the present, and that 
w r hich is to come.* Luther, for example, was a 
genial, joyous man, and likely to knit young and old 
to him by such a tie as renders two souls one — a love 
at once heart-deep and constraining. And Calvin, 
stern bigot as he is commonly supposed to have 
been, actually invented a new game by which he and 
his colleagues might unbend after their more severe 
employments, while they kept aloof from all that 

*1 Tim. iv. 8. 



288 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



bore the mark of the world's frivolities. David 
Brainerd, also, the devoted, the self-sacrificing, the 
honored of God above most of the sons of men, has 
said that " diversions, rightly managed, increased 
rather than diminished his spirituality." As even the 
earth needs rest and change, if we would not see it 
producing only weeds, man needs relaxation, else 
premature disease would ensue, and Christians there- 
fore seek to prevent that result by unbending. 

They carry that spirit into their Homes. The 
minds of neither parents nor children can bear a per- 
petual strain, and it were cruel to repress the jubilee 
of young souls — the loud laugh, even though it 
should bespeak the vacant mind — characteristic of 
healthy, happy infancy. Home should be a scene of 
joy, chastened, no doubt, by the fear of God, yet 
radiant and cordial withal. Above all spots on earth, 
it should be the scene where men 

" Sun them in the light of happy faces," 

and this raises the question, What should be the 
amusements of a Christian Home? What may a 
believer in Jesus countenance as relaxations for his 
children? In what may he lead the way, during the 
hours or the days when households unbend ? 

The answer must vary according to the rank of the 
Home ; but there are principles which no difference in 
rank can modify, and these may be briefly indicated. 

First, Christian parents would find their path made 
plain and easy could they at once establish the rule, 
that wherever the world resorts for amusement, their 
children shall never appear. This may seem hard, 
but it is as needful for the young mind as absence from 



AMUSEMENTS FOE HOME. 



289 



pest-liouses is needed for the body. According to the 
Bible, it is simply impossible for the Christian to 
coalesce with the world, in any matter where he has 
the power of choice. If there be a spontaneous 
coalition, then there is kindredness. If there be 
kindredness, then Christ and Belial can be combined. 
Where the Christian cannot go as a Christian, he 
should never choose to resort at all; and this would 
infinitely simplify the course at once of the parent 
and the child. Whatever attractions there may be in 

" Katterfelto, with, his hair on end 
At his own wonder, wondering for his bread," 

a believer will desire some better kind of pastime for 
his children, and will resolutely seek it. 

On this subject, one well qualified to speak has 
said — " Within the hallo w r ed walls of that house, 
which Jesus has honored as the habitation of his 
Spirit, resolve that there shall be no parties where he 
is not welcome as the first and most honored guest : 
no society in which he is not washed or cannot be 
asked to take the foremost place : no amusements 
calculated or contrived to shut him out from your 
hearts, as if you deemed him ' an intruder on your 
joys,' or wished to be happy in forgetfulness or inde- 
pendence of him : no reading or conversation which 
you would not wish him to hear, because you feared 
that he would listen to it with an angry frown : in a 
word, no plans unregulated by his approbation — no 
pursuits unhallow r ed by his blessing — no pleasures 
unsanctified by his smile."* 

* See "Jesus Invited to the Marriage^' also, "The Forbidden Mar- 
riage," — two solemn " Meditations," by Rev. Hugh White. 
13 



290 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



Now, this general rule disposes of a hundred casu- 
istical cases. No doubt, if we are not averse to skim 
the verge of the forbidden, reasons may be found for 
frequenting equivocal scenes ; and the world, rejoicing 
in the countenance of a reputed Christian, will hail 
and commonplace his arguments for meeting worldly 
men upon their own favorite ground. But such argu- 
ments are only cobwebs for weak minds, or minds 
willing to be entangled ; and even though the men 
who use them may be able to stop short of the for- 
bidden, many of those who are cheered by such ex- 
amples cannot : they will not : they may plunge over 
the precipice to w r hose verge they have been con- 
ducted ; they quote the favorite authority, and then 
dive into the bottomless abyss. 

Secondly The theatre, as it now exists, is at once 
to be abandoned by every friend of the young and of 
the soul. It is needless to speak of some ideal condi- 
tion of a theatre, such as Utopianism loves to depict, 
though the picture be only a refuge of lies. In plead- 
ing for such an ideal, men forget that it has no exist- 
ence, and they ignore the real — the real pollution — 
the real blasphemy — the real profligacy— the real 
ruin which are paramount in theatres and their pur- 
lieus. We just take the theatre as it has been, as it 
is, and is likely to continue. We look at its neigh- 
borhoods in London, and in every city which a thea- 
tre pollutes, and we are blind if we do not notice that 
it is invariably a focus of moral abomination — the 
mother of guilt and of misery. It panders to the 
vilest passions ; it fosters blasphemy ; it cherishes 
hatred to God's truth ; it multiplies temptation ; it 



AMUSEMENTS FOE HOME. 



291 



helps to fill our jails, and to people our penal colo- 
nies : for it patronizes vice in some of its most revolt- 
ing forms. We do not speak of what takes place be- 
hind the scenes, or of its debasing effects upon actors."* 

We speak only of what is plain, patent, and un- 
deniable — established by police-books, by criminal 
calendars, and by Botany Bay ; and urge the ques- 
tions as others have done — Why does the swindler 
love the theatre ? Why does the gambler ? Why 
does the forger ? Why does the man who never bends 
the knee to God in his own home ? Why does the 
profane swearer ? Why does the godless son of godly 
parents ? Why does the pilfering apprentice ? Why 
does the shameless woman ? Why does the embez- 
zling clerk ? Why do all such love the theatre, and 
find it their congenial Home ? The radical reason is, 
God is not there — sin is ascendant — it is cheered — It 
is made a source of merriment, not a curse. 

Seeing, then, that all these classes love the theatre 
as it actually is, a Christian will shun it, and debar 
his children with all his authority from ever entering 
there. Such scenes are immedicable moral blots ; 
they admit of only one remedy — they should be swept 
away ; they exist only for the godless and the gross. 
Xo man durst enter there, if the Word of God were 
his guide ; and it is only while men ignore it that 
they can frequent the polluted precincts. The parent 
who takes his children thither is smoothing their way 
to ruin. Even Socinianism, by the lips of Channing, 
has boldly said, " The theatre is an accumulation of 

* It is well known that a celebrated tragedienne of a past ago for- 
bade her daughter ever to appear in the green-room. 



292 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



immoral influence : it has nourished intemperance and 
vice," and darker disclosures than he has made are 
connected with an institution which gathers unto it- 
self all the elements of impurity, of drunkenness, and 
of dishonesty. By degrading virtue and extolling 
vice, the theatre stands self-condemned wherever the 
Bible is the standard. 

Thirdly, Some other very common amusements are 
in like manner to be put away; they can be encour- 
aged and relished only by the frivolous, and by 
" lovers of pleasure more than lovers of God," To be 
able to enjoy the flaunting insipidities of a ball-room, 
for example, seems proof sufficient that the soul has 
not yet discovered the fulness of joy. Scenes where 
the pride of life is pampered into overmastering force 
are neither for believers in Jesus nor for those whom 
God has given them ; and we accordingly notice in 
all biographies, as well as in the conduct of all earn- 
est, living men, that as soon as the Saviour gets his 
place in the heart, such frivolities are forever put 
away. That remarkable Christian hero, Captain Hed- 
ley Yicars, wrote, soon after his conversion — " I have 
of late refused every invitation to such amusements, 
on finding they made me less earnest and thoughtful, 
and indisposed me for reading and prayer." "We do 
not argue merely from the loss of time implied in 
such things — important as that and kindred consider- 
ations are — we go to the root of the matter, and pro- 
claim balls to be just the spirit of the world intensi- 
fied, and opposed to all that a believer in Christ 
should relish or rejoice in ; and to be unconscious of 
this antagonism, is to be incapable of judging in the 



AMUSEMENTS FOR HOME. 



293 



matter — as the blind are unfit to judge of colors. To 
pamper the love of display, and a taste for vanity, 
can upon no pretext become a Christian duty, or be a 
Christian relaxation ; and all that tends to encourage 
such things is to be opposed by those who love young 
souls and are responsible for them to God. Beyond 
all question, 

"E'en in their pastimes they require a friend 
To warn and teach them safely to unbend 

but they can never safely unbend amid what infects 
their moral nature with a deep and deadly virus. * 

Fourthly, The same remarks apply in spirit to all 
amusements implying chance, or gambling. There is 
in them a vitiating element which all who value the 
peace and the purity of home will scrupulously shun. 
There may be many reasons pled for such things by 
those who love them ; to a Christian, one reply an- 
swers all pretexts — they waste the soul — they fortify 

* " No doubt she [the daughter of Herodias] was a most accomplish- 
ed person — danced well, and moved in the best society, so called, for 
she lived at court. But the noise of the viol and the tabret has long 
ago ceased with her ; and, perhaps, a frantic spirit in hell, she spends 
eternity with that charger before her eyes always, and that head, the 
price of that dance, haunting her from one deep to another deep in the 
bottomless pit. ' 0 mother, mother,' she cries, ' you taught me every 
worldly accomplishment, and also, by your example, to forget God, and 
brought innocent blood on my soul! Take this head from before my 
eyes!' Her wretched mother has anguish enough of her own to bear, 
without, the addition of her daughter's .curses. Yet will not those 
curses follow her and every mother who brings up her daughter for 
this world only ? Are they the only mother and accomplished daugh- 
ter that will have this present world for their only portion, and endless 
sorrow at the end of it? 'I tell you, Nay; but except ye repent, ye 
shall all likewise perish.' " — " The Friends of Christ," by N. Adams, D. 
X). Sermon hi. 



29i 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



the world — they imperil eternity. " Gambling" 
Trench says. " may be, as with a fearful irony it is, 
called play^ but it is nearly as distant from gambolling 
as hell is from heaven/' 

Still, however, the young mind must have amuse- 
ment. The body as well as the soul must be studied, 
and it is the glory of Home that both are there kept 
in view. It were cruel to withhold relaxation — where, 
then, shall it be found? 

First, Bodily activity, and all that promotes that 
end, conduces to the happiness of childhood, if the 
means be pure. Study the gambols of a class just 
dismissed from school, and learn a lesson there as to 
one kind of enjoyment for our children. See, there, 
intensified joy. 

Secondly^ Rejoice amid the sights and the scenes 
which God has beautified, where He is displaying His 
love or His power in the teeming grandeur or the 
sunny glories of nature, and teaching young and old, 
if they will learn, to exclaim — 

'-There's not a strain to memory dear, 
Xor flower in sacred grove, 
There's not a sweet note warbled here, 
But minds me of Thy love.' 1 

Th irdly, There is music — ;,i designed to prepare for 
heaven, to educate for the choral enjoyment of para- 
dise, to form the mind to virtue and devotion, and to 
chase away evil, and sanctify the heart to God. A 
Christian musician is one who has a harp in his affec- 
tions, which he daily tunes to the notes of the angelic 
host, and with which he makes melody in his heart to 
the Lord. Does he strike the chord with his hands { 



AMUSEMENTS FOR HOME. 



295 



It is to 'bid lute and harp to awake to the glory of 
God.' The hand, the tongue, and the ear, form a 
kind of triple chord not to be broken."* jSTow, that 
exquisite gift of God might minister largely to the 
happiness of the young. And there is painting — 
when they have a taste for it — which furnishes a pure 
and tranquil pleasure, such as the recorded experience 
of Henry Martyn testifies the Christian alone can 
fully enjoy. After his conversion, he was blessed at 
once in the Giver and the gift — before it, he had only 
the gift, and how infinite the difference ! 

Or, fourthly. There are the sights which Science 
shows, the thousand amusing devices now happily 
common for blending relaxation with instruction, or 
informing the mind without overtasking its strength. 
Who has not seen the microscope enrapture, and the 
telescope amaze ? And why has the Holy One told 
us of the sweet influences of Pleiades, or the bands 
of Orion, or Mazzaroth, or Arcturus with his sons,f 
but to point our thoughts upward to their glory? 
]\Ioreover, a magic lantern has rivetted many a happy 
group for hours ; and what youth, uncorrupted by the 
world's pollutions, can weary of the wonders of ocean, 
earth, or air ? The mere wing of a gnat, when mag- 
nified, has delighted crowds of the young.J And then 
the menagerie is a very mine of joy. Show a child 
the love-birds, and he sees a model for brothers and 
sisters ; point to the lion, and he is the type of the 
destroyer of souls ; or the bird of paradise, and it 



*Rev. Legh Richmond. t ^ ol ° xxxviii. 31, 32. 

$ Read with care the chapter " Of Recreation," in one of the most 
suggestive of modern Books, T upper s " Proverbial Philosophy." 



296 



LAWS AST) MAXIMS OF HOME. 



furnishes hints at least of the beauty which is there. 
The bear reminds the young of the youthful scoffers 
of old, and their sudden doom for their scoffing. 
" The stork, the crane, and the swallow, " may all 
gladden and amuse, while they gratify curiosity and 
store the mind. Preparation for such a visit might 
occupy the leisure of one week, and storing up its 
lessons might well employ the leisure of another. 

Or, farther, conduct a group of children to a gar- 
den, and what lessons there cluster round the lily, the 
rose, the apple-tree — in a word, round all from the 
cedar to the hyssop, if the parent be a Christian \ 
How loving is God to have spread such beauty before 
the eye of man, and filled every inch of earth with 
such tokens of His care ! True, we repeat, such pains- 
taking involves a tax upon indolence : parents must 
be active, if children are to be thus amused ; but 
wherever the power and the privileges of Home are 
understood, such a tax will be a joy, most gladly 
paid, and a thousand times rewarded. 

Or, finally, we have the engagements which pa- 
rental affection plans, and the parties in which it 
shares, to promote the pleasure of the young, when 
family meets family and all are made happy in the 
only way that is open for Christians — according to 
the Word of God. It betokens a meagre mind to be 
limited to the same dull routine of enjoyments, when 
He who is rich in mercy has spread out so many be- 
fore us ; and the parent whom He makes wise will 
draw freely from such ample stores. Such a father 
will not deem it below him to share in the pastimes of 
his children ; for if the Earl of Mansfield, even when 



AMUSEMENTS FOR HOME. 



297 



he was Lord Chief-Justice of England, delighted to 
romp with the inmates of his nursery, and so to make 
both himself and them more happy, no father need 
fear a diminution of his dignity by the gladness of his 
deportment. Nay, rather he will try to invent amuse- 
ment, and become to his little ones a companion as 
well as a father — a loving, sympathizing, joyous 
friend as well as an authority, or a power repressing 
all that is evil. 

EXAMPLES. 

John Newton was a man who had fathomed all the 
depths of iniquity, and exhausted the round of earthly 
pleasures. When he spoke against them, he con- 
demned what he knew by experience better, perhaps, 
than any minister of his time. 

Now, on the subject of the theatre, Newton has 
left on record his calm and matured opinions. As a 
place of amusement, he deemed it a great fountain- 
head of vice. He could scarcely suppose there was a 
Christian upon earth who would dare to be seen there; 
and he thus inscribed indelibly before all who will 
read it, his utter and intelligent condemnation of 
what crowds of the misguided deem innocent amuse- 
ments. He wished all such places to be shunned as 
pest-houses, and pled with men with his whole soul to 
forsake them forever. 

Again, Montague Stanley was for several years 
upon the stage,"* and his habits were then in harmony 
with those which prevail among the class who figure 
there. He even proceeded so far on the world's broad 

* See his Life, by Rev. D. T. K. Drumraond. 

13* 



298 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



road as to fight a duel, and amid some remains of 
natural religion, continued to win the world's smile, 
as one of its own. But Stanley at last escaped, 
like a bird from the snare of the fowler. The truth 
took hold upon his conscience, and in its light, he soon 
detected the snares which his profession laid for his 
soul on the right hand and on the left. Compromises 
were now attempted, and by omitting blasphemies or 
grossness from the parts which he acted, he endeav- 
ored to keep down God's voice within ; but he could 
not succeed, and felt at last that he must either aban- 
don the stage, or lose his soul. He discovered that 
he was in conflict with his God, and instead of supply- 
ing amusement, w T as sinfully tampering w T ith woe. 
He accordingly abjured what he called an ungodly 
profession, and in doing so, furnished another proof 
of the utter antagonism which exists between the 
truth of God welcomed into the heart, and such em- 
ployments as the theatre devolves, or such pleasure 
as it bestows, upon men. He had to flee from it like 
Lot from Sodom or Paul from Damascus. 

Let it never be thought, however, that godliness 
and deep devotion are hostile to relaxation. Nay, 

" Religion does not censure or exclude 
Unnumbered pleasures harmlessly pursued." 

One of the most devoted ministers that ever lived 
was Rowland Hill ; and yet his zest for innocent re- 
creation was as great as his love of labor for Christ's 
sake was intense. For relaxation he resorted to handi- 
craft : he was an assiduous gardener ; he wove nets ; 
he had pet animals, wdiose habits he studied, and 
whose gambols were his favorite amusement. His 



AMPSTCTVTfiNTS FOR HOME. 



299 



ever active spirit thus sought its relaxation in change 
of employment. That the mind might rest, the hands 
were busy ; and amid many perplexities, or eager 
controversies. Hill's was one of the sunniest lives ever 
spent by man. Now, the lesson of that life is this — 
moroseness is not Christianity ; but still less is sin. 
The religion of the Prince of Peace is not asceticism ; 
but still less does it permit us to seek our amusement 
where vice is depicted as excellence and virtue turned 
into mockery. Such things the Saviour would ban- 
ish from the hearts and the homes of all his people, 
and men are already deeply deceived, when the things 
which He condemns can ever yield them joy. 

These examples, however, mainly show what we 
are to abjure — but what is it that we should substitute 
in their place? What amusements should we encour- 
age at once as rewards and relaxations to youth ? 

To exemplify this, the case of the Rev. Legh Rich- 
mond is perhaps the best that can be quoted. His 
life was a happy though a tried one. His tempera- 
ment, his pursuits, his successes as a minister, and his 
mercies, all tended to that result. Home was to him 
the focus of his own felicity, as he was the centre 
round which its gladness gathered. To promote its 
happiness, his plans were both elaborate and success- 
ful. He enlisted whatever was beautiful in nature, 
or ingenious in art, or wonderful in science. He fit- 
ted up a museum, and gathered specimens for it from 
far and near. Philosophical instruments were em- 
ployed to illustrate what needed such aid. The mi- 
croscope, the telescope, the air-pump, and electric 
machines were all found in his lecture-room in the 



300 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



parsonage of Turvey. Books from all lands, and spec- 
imens along every channel were collected to blend 
solid instruction with necessary recreation, or mingle 
philosophy and science with amusement ; and though 
many may be unable to command appliances so costly, 
all may learn how ingenious Christian affection may 
become in inventing substitutes for the frivolous or 
the debasing amusements which are so rife and so 
ruinous in the Homes of the worldly. 

Amid the flaunting insipidities of a ball-room, a 
devotee of pleasure was once arrested and drawn from 
such haunts by the thought — " What ! an heir of God, 
redeemed by the blood of his Son, and thus employed !" 
It proved the turning point in a soul's history ; and 
were parents alive to the importance of the truth then 
uttered, they would become at once more zealous to 
furnish right amusements for their children, and more 
lynx-eyed in warding off the wrong. It would be- 
come their endeavor unto prayer to be guided here 
by the heavenly wisdom, so that they might neither 
harshly repress young happiness, nor sinfully promote 
young devotedness to folly. All will be well where 
the Word of God is made supreme — till then the 
world will reign and souls will perish. 



COMPANIONSHIPS FOR HOME. 



301 



CHAPTEE IX. 

COMPANIONSHIPS FOR HOME. 

The Bible's View of them — Experience — Duty — Results of its Neglect — Or of Coun- 
sel Spurned — Boasting of Ungodliness — Moral Wrecks — Our large Towns — 
Examples — Hon. Francis Newport — Rev. Legh Richmond. 

It is recorded concerning the Rev. Legh Richmond, 
that so sensitive was he on the subject of the company 
which his children kept, that he once spent a sleep- 
less night in the prospect of a visit from some youths 
to his Home. So thoroughly was he aware of the 
moral blight which might result even from a brief 
interview, that he could not calmly contemplate pro- 
miscuous intercourse among the young ; and though 
in some respects his convictions might be exaggerated, 
or his feelings morbid, it were well if far more parents 
were watchful on the subject, somewhat in Richmond's 
spirit. 

The deliverance of Scripture regardiag it is very 
precise, "The companion of fools shall be destroyed." 
Fools, in the language of Scripture, and especially of 
the Proverbs, mean the wicked — and in mercy, God 
has warned us that their companions are on the way 
to destruction. 

And common experience illustrates these words. 
Who does not remember how his own life has been 
influenced by his companionships in opening man- 
hood, as well as early years? If there was any 



302 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



dawning of good, it perhaps became evil ; if there 
were evil habits before, they were made worse by 
such means. Next to a mother's moulding power 
ranks that of a favorite or an admired companion: 
his influence in thought, word, and deed, in tone and 
gesture, in antipathies or likings, goes with us to the 
grave and the great white throne. 

Now, all this points out to parents the necessity of 
watching, as earnestly as if they were upon their 
knees, what company their children keep, or what 
friendships they form. Though the fear of God may 
reign, and his worship be maintained at home, though 
godliness may be encouraged, and every wicked thing 
repressed, an hour with a godless companion will more 
than counteract the whole. The impure and the pro- 
fane, amid the excitements of play, may infuse — they 
have infused — a virus which no painstaking can ex- 
tract. The tendencies of the young are all down- 
ward. Their native affinities are all with wickedness, 
whatever a doating affection may often suggest. The 
restraints of holiness are irksome, and hence the need 
of a kind supervision, if parents would not see their 
children bounding forward in the broad road. He 
who would not spend his closing years in sorrow 
over the waywardness or the ruin of his children, 
has need to watch unto prayer against unholy com- 
panions. 

But the subject need scarcely be continued : the 
truths connected with it are axioms. In our homes, 
as well as in our gardens, there are 

" Noisome weeds that without profit suck 
The soil's fertility from wholesome flowers,'- 



COMPANIONSHIPS TOR HOME. 



303 



and we may as wisely hope to handle pitch without 
defilement, as suffer our children to associate with the 
unprincipled and yet keep them pure. The carnage 
of the battle-field is not more fatal to men's bodies 
than godless associates are to their souls, Ask those 
who are on the way to the scaffold, where their guilt 
began. Go to some penal colony or some felon peni- 
tentiary, and make inquiries there. Penetrate to the 
terrible dens where vice celebrates its orgies or holds 
its nightly carnival, and prosecute your inquest there. 
The same reply in substance will everywhere be heard 
— I became the companion of fools, and here I am — 
self-destroyed. A wise counsellor has said that the 
first impure or improper expression from a compan- 
ion's lips should be the signal to forsake his com- 
pany, and multitudes who are now hopelessly en- 
tangled will lament forever that that counsel was 
not obeyed. 

Were it needful, the dangers of evil associates 
might be shown in a hundred ways. Take only 
one. Augustine and many more have recorded, 
that while they lived in sin and associated with the 
godless, they actually pretended to have committed 
sins which they had never perpetrated. The appal- 
ling boast was designed to purchase a bad pre-emi- 
nence among profligate companions, and few things 
could let us see farther into the dark depths of even 
young souls than such traits. To feign iniquity, and 
glory in that, appears to be a near approach to loving 
sin for its own sake, yet such things are too often fos- 
tered by the unhallowed companionships in which 
the young delight to indulge, where they stimulate 



301 LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 

each other as fire feeds fire. Against such associates, 
the Bible and natural affection, time and eternity, all 
combine to urge every parent to watch. 

Only Omniscience could compute the havoc which 
is wrought from year to year in our large towns by 
the effects of evil company. All that seemed promis- 
ing in the shade of some moral home, is there often 
blighted and destroyed. There are some among the 
aged who find a diabolical delight in tempting and 
triumphing over the souls of the inexperienced who 
come within their grasp. Creatures in the shape of 
men have thus derived a portion of their satanic hap- 
piness from trampling upon modesty, and making 
their victims the children of hell like themselves. It 
is chiefly, however, among the youthful that snares 
are laid for those still younger, and it is there that 
triumphs are achieved which may break a father's or 
a mother's heart. Compared with such moral deaths, 
what would it have been to such parents to have 
seen their son, their earthly hope, prematurely cut 
down, and laid among the rude forefathers of the 
hamlet in the cold churchyard ? What w T ould it 
have been to see fever or consumption wasting the 
body, compared with the sight of sin rioting in the 
soul, or the second death the only sure portion which 
remains, after God has been forsaken, the curse wel- 
comed, and the blessing thrust away ? 

Now, one of the safest antidotes to all this is — let 
parents associate as much and as genially as possible 
with their children. That will both check the evil 
and encourage the good, and benefit both child and 
paient. The young heart is constitutionally soci- 



COMPANIONSHIPS FOR HOME. 



305 



able, communicative, sympathetic. But it is also 
artless. If it do not find the good at hand, it will 
cling to the evil, and parents who know that tendency 
have need to watch it well."* 

EXAMPLES. 

We might almost epitomize the annals of crime to 
furnish examples here. The personal recollection of 
every reflective father and mother may furnish some 
case to illustrate the influence of evil company. It 
spreads many a moral wreck through society, as the 
tempest strews the freight of many a noble ship over 
the shore or the sea. We give one example. 

The Hon. Francis Newport was blessed with a re- 
ligious education. When about sixteen years of age, 
he was sent to one of the English universities, and 
continued to study there, with exemplary earnestness, 
for several years. During all that period, his conduct 
was in beautiful harmony with his religious training ; 
he was even deemed an honor and a blessing to his 

* This is well brought out by a Christian mother, who says — " We 
should not merely take an interest in our children's concerns, but en- 
courage them to take an interest in ours. They ask about the war, the 
meeting of the G-eneral Assembly. Courts of law. the Queen. Parlia- 
ment, Banks, in short whatever they hear older people talk of ; and 
the common plan is to get rid of their inquiries by saying — These are 
not things which a child can understand. On the contrary. I believe 
there are very few subjects which a child may not in some degree un- 
derstand. . . . Their remarks and suggestions should always be listened 
to and fairly discussed. This would be the surest mode of preventing 
that wide gulf of separation between children and parents, which is 
sometimes found to exist when children are grown up. and each party 
discovers with sorrow that they have no views or ideas in common." 



306 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



house. It seemed as if he had already escaped all the 

perils of youth — had 

" Shot into port at some well-havened isle, 
Where spices breathe, and brightest seasons smile." 

But after leaving the university, or when he was about 
twenty-one years of age, young Newport proceeded to 
London to commence the study of law. Among his 
new associates there, his religion not seldom exposed 
him to raillery, but for a time he could calmly repel 
it all. He told his assailants that laughter was not 
argument, and challenged them to reason. At length, 
however, sap accomplished what an assault could not 
effect. The poison of unbelief was gradually distilled 
into his soul, by the very frequency of those sneers, 
and the ceaseless bite of those sarcasms, and Newport 
became both the companion of fools and the dupe of 
his own deceitful heart. He even consented at last 
to be enrolled as a member of a society which was 
wicked by rule, and which plotted mischief with 
systematic painstaking. He who had recently given 
such promise or displayed such firmness, betrayed the 
secret of his strength when he agreed to associate with 
the godless, and soon displayed as high a spirit in 
sinning as abounding temptations, and ample means, 
and many accomplishments, enabled him to do. He 
drifted at length down the moral rapids upon which 
he had launched, self-deprived alike of pilot and of 
helm. 

But sickness came, and Newport awoke to self- 
respect and truth once more. His companions, in- 
deed, strove to stifle and suppress his rising convic- 
tions, as if by the hug of a boa, but they could not 



COMPANIONSHIPS FOE HOME. 



307 



succeed. He felt God's truth in its power, and so 
discovered the vanity of man's lie. Like Francis 
Spira, he forestalled destruction, in spite of entreaty, 
argument, tears, and prayers from those who loved 
him well. With his last breath he gasped out the 
words — " Oh, the insufferable pangs of damnation!" 
and when he died, it was without one ray of hope. 
Many may die and have no bands in their death,* 
but it was not so with this misguided youth. He had 
once made his home happy, and was deemed both its 
ornament and its blessing ; but with the distinctness 
of a voice from the eternal w^orld, his case now pro- 
claims that " the companion of fools shall be destroy- 
ed." It is the story of ten thousand souls. 

Or to exemplify the painstaking w T hich some parents 
have felt bound to exercise on the subject of compan- 
ions for their children, w r e may recur again to the life 
of the Rev. Legh Richmond. "When one of his sons 
was about to leave home for the university, his fathei 
was unhappy in the prospect of the approaching peril. 
Isor was that wonderful when we read, as already 
noticed, that he allowed no intercourse with other 
families, except under his own watchful eye. He 
even declined invitations for his children from per- 
sonal relatives, with whom he himself could freely 
associate, for his determination was to sacrifice all 
considerations of interest, and even of courtesy, rather 
than expose his children to corrupting influences. 
His conduct might be blamed, and no doubt it was 
so, but he was well-persuaded in his own mind ; and 
gentle as his nature was, he faced all misconstructions, 

* Ps. lxxiii. 4. 



308 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



for the sake of what he believed to be his children's 
welfare, their eternal safety, the purity of home, and 
the honor of his God. 

IsTor did this watchful parent relax his endeavors 
after the maturity of his children. In letter after let- 
ter — by warning upon warning, and rule upon rule — 
he sought to counteract the dreaded danger. As the 
warrior of old was employed to carry the heart of 
Bruce to the Holy Land, and by the way, guarded it 
with all the care of a passionate devotee, did this 
father devotedly attempt to fence off his children 
from peril, and carry them in his own company to the 
better country, even the heavenly. Home arrange- 
ments, visits to others, and visits from them, letters, 
books, studies, all, in short, in Richmond's domestic 
life, were regulated by his desire to select right com- 
panions for his children ; and if his watchfulness be 
deemed excessive or morbid by some, is the other ex- 
treme a safe one — that of permitting children to roam 
at large, or choose for themselves, unchecked, un- 
warned, unguided ?* 

* See " Domestic Portraiture," by Kev. E. Bickersteth. 



BOOKS FOR HOME. 



309 



CHAPTEE X. 

BOOKS FOR HOME. 

The Three Chief Books— The Key to All— Sir William Jones — A Mother's Advice 
— Parables — Fiction — Novels and Novel-Eeading — The Pilgrim's Progress— 
Eobinson Crusoe — Amusement in Books — Childish Books — Poison — Food — 
Antidotes — Low Moral Principle side by side with the Love of Fiction— The 
Duty of Parents — Examples — Wilberforce — And others. 

There are three books which all should study to 
some extent, if they would not only be learned but 
wise — the book of nature, the book of their own 
heart, and the book of God. The last is the key to 
open or explain the other two, and is, therefore, the 
first and most important of all. It forms a literature 
as well as a religion : it has been called, w^hat it is, a 
library. 

Yet besides these there are many other books which 
should be read — some of them studied — and without 
adverting to such as professional training demands, 
we would briefly allude to those which promote or 
which hinder the happiness of Home. 

"When Sir William Jones, as a child, asked his 
mother for information upon any subject, her answer 
often was, " Read and you will knowV and that reply 
made that boy at last one of the most learned men of 
modern times. But just in proportion to the mould- 
ing power of our reading should be a parent's care 
regarding what his children read, and next to the in- 
jurious effects of evil company may be ranked the 
vitiating influence of unprincipled, irreligious books. 



310 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



When we remember who it was that conveyed 
heavenly truth by Parables — that is, by means of 
imaginary persons or events — the prodigal and his 
father, for example, we are called on at once to 
welcome that as an admirable instrument for reproof, 
or correction — for shedding light, imparting wisdom, 
or alluring man away from his folly and his sin. It 
would be difficult to tell how much of the sound reli- 
gion which circulates among men owes its origin to 
these wondrous pictures. When we come, however, 
to speak of works of fiction properly so called, it 
does not appear that the rising race would suffer 
much though they were all swept away. " Truth is 
strange— stranger than fiction ;" and were truth wisely 
or winningly employed, it would accomplish all that 
books need aim at in our homes. The parent who 
allows his children to gloat over novels is fostering 
distorted views of life, and inculcating, by his conniv- 
ance at least, the false principles with which such 
productions abound. False sentiments, misplaced 
affections, erroneous morals, and hatred to the truth 
of God, are produced by too many of this class of 
books ; and the parent who would not see his home 
infested with these moral sores, should watch against 
the power of such productions. They may be signal- 
ized by genius, as some of them are, but it is too 
often godless genius. They may contain much know- 
ledge of human nature, but it is often presented in 
forms far worse than ignorance. is"o friend of the 
young, who makes the Bible his standard, can doubt 
that such books often affect the mind as drunkenness 
affects the body — they displace and distemper our 



BOOKS FOR HOME. 



311 



motives and principles of action, and a child reared 
according to such maxims as they too often embody 
would be rendered inept for life. 

It is no doubt possible for a mind of matured prin- 
ciple to peruse such works, and reject what is inju- 
rious, or to admire genius, yet condemn the sentiments 
it has recorded. But even that is attended with a 
deadening danger. A mind thoroughly imbued with 
the high truths of God could not endure such insipid- 
ities, such distorted pictures of man as are often pre- 
sented ; while to suffer children or youth to grow 
familiar with these, is too often to preoccupy the 
mind with what renders real life insipid. Things are 
judged of by a false standard — souls are duped to 
deeper ruin ; and the whole question so often agitated 
regarding the reading of novels might be disposed of 
by this one consideration — Are those who make them 
the staple of their reading generally guided by the 
Word of God ? Do they in their life embody the 
practice which that Word enjoins? Do they even 
try it ? 

A high authority* has plead for works of fiction as 
" giving a stimulus to the conceptive faculty alto- 
gether of a peculiar kind." Dr. Vicesimus Knox lias 
urged the same plea ; and there is truth in it as ap- 
plied to works of pure fiction, like the Arabian 
Nights, and similar productions. But can the con- 
ceptive faculty be stirred in no other way ? Must our 
children be sent to the false to be enabled to grasp or 
enjoy the true, to the painted to learn to prize the 
real? Such educationists, however, exclude mere 

* " Home Education,"' by I. Taylor. 



312 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



"novels, .... whether better or worse/' from their 
plans ;* and with this restriction the friends of the 
young find the question greatly simplified. 

But to take examples. In one point of view the 
Pilgrim's Progress is a work of fiction. The dream 
was never dreamed : the persons who are there named 
and described never actually existed. Yet that which 
is a work of fiction, in one point of view, is purest, 
noblest truth, in another, and the principle which 
would proscribe it must be erroneous. 

Again: Robinson Crusoe is a work of fiction; at 
least, no one can separate the facts from the fancies of 
the book — yet who would proscribe it ? ^Vhat a blank 
would be created in many a young mind were its in- 
cidents blotted out. or the future use of the volume 
forbidden? Now, these and similar exceptions warn 
us to be judicious in our exclusions. They tell us 
that it is not by a sweeping proscription, but by a 
wise restriction, that the evil influence of fictitious 
works is to be corrected. + Let the principles which 
came from heaven to guide the children of men be 
instilled into the young. Be the Great Guide and 
final Judge made the umpire in every doubtful thing, 
and in due time our children will be taught utterly to 
discard all such works as would blunt the edge of 
their piety. They will either do as Augustine did 

* " Home Education." by I. Taylor, p. 261. 

{ Mr. Taylor, in "Home Education." p. 264. has said — "Certainly I 
could find no fault with parents who should interdict Sir Walter Scott's 
novels, one and all." We indorse the sentiment. They should be reli- 
giously kept from children. — at least till principle is so far matured as 
to be able to separate wheat from chaff. Religious novels should be 
left to the same treatment a* all other hypocrites. 



BOOKS FOR HOME. 



313 



soon after his conversion, when he cast aside his half- 
idolized Cicero, because it contained no allusions to 
Christ, or they will so read and so mark as to repro- 
bate the unscriptural, while they admire the genius, 
prostituted as it often is. 

But books for amusement the young have a right to 
expect from us. Just because the mind is infantine it 
demands something different from the volumes which 
fathers and mothers can relish. For that purpose, 
however, there is no need to recur either to unreal 
scenes or to distorted pictures. Fiction, manifest, ob- 
vious, glaring fiction, may excite, but it cannot be the 
staple supply of even youthful minds ; and the pa- 
rents who love their children best and most wisely 
will be the most careful to prevent such appliances 
as would render the young mind frivolous on the one 
hand, or captivated by the unreal upon the other. A 
wise man once said — " There are many silver books, and 
a few golden books ; but I have one book worth more 
than all, called the Bible, and that is a Book of Bank 
Notes." The parent who lives for his children's souls 
will often consider what other books are most likely to 
prepare his little ones for prizing aright that Book of 
Books, and make that object the pole-star of his en- 
deavors.* 

Farther : there can be no doubt, for it is fully 
proved by experience, that children can often relish 
works more advanced than parents suppose. The 
young mind may indeed be encumbered by elaborate 

* It was Henry Martyn's practice to dismiss every book whose at- 
tractions or subject made him reluctant to lay it down and take up the 
Bible. 

14 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HO^IE. 



lessons — like the stripling David by the armor of 
Goliah ; but it is no less true that childish books will 
foster only childish minds. As true children love the 
society of their seniors, they often love those books 
best which store their young mind — which carry them 
onward and upward ; and a wise parent, while he 
rejoices in this preference, will skilfully and cordially 
encourage it. His home will thus be at once intelli- 
gent and happy, and as his children grow in days, 
they will naturally and easily put away childish things. 

Books have been divided into three classes. One 
class, the worst and lowest, is likened to poison which 
destroys ; and all works of this character are at once 
to be abjured. They corrupt the mind ; they make 
what is vicious more vicious still ; and the parent 
who tolerates them is devoid of an intelligent natural 
affection. But another class of books is likened to 
food, or what sustains and supports us. Science, art, 
history, discoveries, travels, poetry of a pure kind, 
and many other productions, enter into this class. 
And a third is compared to medicine which rectifies 
what is wrong, which furnishes an antidote — it may 
be to poison, to disease, or incipient death. To this 
section belong the Word of God, and all the books 
which either explain or enforce it. Xow, no parent 
who loves his home or its inmates can hesitate regard- 
ing the books which he would encourage, according 
to this division. Let poison be banished. Let food 
be copiously supplied. Let the antidote to all evil be 
administered under the guidance of the Great Physi- 
cian, and then there will be the melody of joy and 
health in the home of such a parent. 



BOOKS FOR HOME. 



315 



Or we may be farther helped to a right decision in 
this matter, by observing that a low moral tone is 
generally found in the young, side by side with the 
love of novels and romances. The youth who reads 
them much commonly becomes an adept in deceit — 
that is, he instinctively copies the heroes presented to \ 
his admiration. Precocity in sin is thus fostered, and 
the name of " Public Poisoners," affixed to the au- 
thors of such productions, is seen to be too surely 
deserved. With such convictions founded upon such 
unquestionable facts, parents who would not be impli- 
cated in their children's guilt should test every book 
which they peruse. Is life presented in forms op- 
posed to the mind of God ? Are attractions thrown 
around vice ? Is contempt heaped upon goodness of 
the scriptural type? Then all such works should be 
swept from the Home where God's truth is enthroned. 
Puseyism, Popery, the unholy and impure, are often 
instilled into the young by such means ; and if pa- 
rents would not see their children the associates of the 
profligate, or imitating the profane, they are called to 
be as watchful regarding their books as regarding 
their companions. 

It is not easy to picture a scene more beautiful than 
a youthful group presided over by a Christian parent, 
each. with a volume in hand adapted to his age or his 
taste. There is not merely instruction gathered, there 
is happiness deepened and diffused, as incident after 
incident circulates. But is it not like the encroach- 
ment of Satan upon Eden, when that fair picture is 
dashed by some production which is false in itself, 
and fitted to foster what is false in the young ? The 



316 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



result of such reading can only be a deeper dislike to 
the truth of God ; and children are there trained to 
deal with it as Jehoiakim did with the prophet's roll, 
when " he cut it with his knife, and cast it into the 
fire that was on the hearth, until all the roll was con- 
sumed in the fire that was on the hearth."* 

EXAMPLES. 

The seductive power of a godless literature might 
be illustrated in many ways. It was lately testified 
in a Court of Justice, by a father whose family was 
disgraced by the conduct of his daughter, that the 
complicated misery of her case was " occasioned by 
reading the impure works of Eugene Sue and Bul- 
wer." In other words, ruin to a soul, disgrace to a 
family, and death to one misguided man resulted 
from such reading. And the murderer of Lord Wil- 
liam Russell confessed upon the scaffold that his 
cold-blooded and systematic deed was promoted by 
the reading of a similar book. Some youths who 
have escaped from the toils of superstition, have 
confessed that to shun the terrible contamination that 
is poured into the mind by the books which they 
were compelled professionally to study, they were 
forced to descend to the cellars of their college, and 
there, amid the rigors of worse than winter, plod 
through their polluting tasks. And yet there are 
parents who can tolerate productions of a similar 
tone in the hands of their sons and their daughters ! 

But such influences are not confined to any circle. 
"Wilberforce knew them by sad experience, and m~ 

* Jeremiah xxxvi. 23. 



BOOKS FOR HOME. 



317 



corded concerning some of those works which rank 
the highest in their class, the Waverley Novels — " I 
am always sorry that they should have so little moral 
or religious object. I would rather go to render my 
account at the last day carrying up with me ' The 
Shepherd of Salisbury Plain,' than bearing the load 
of all these volumes, full as they are of genius." And 
"Wilberforce had reason for that opinion. We know 
a man of strong and vigorous mind, who was religi- 
ously educated, and who in youth seemed to be re- 
ligious himself. He removed, however, from his 
home to one of our mighty marts, where he sank 
into a degradation which ruined his health, and 
drove him to seek its restoration in a foreign land. 
The stages in his downward course, as he vividly de- 
picted them, were — first, godless companions ; then 
the Waverley Novels, which first taught him to laugh 
at religion; thirdly, the theatre; and fourthly, the 
lowest deep to which the theatre is the prelude or the 
threshold. Now this is but one of a thousand exam- 
ples which turn homes into places of weeping, or end 
in the early death of the misguided young. They 
decline a parent's warning. In novels, in theatres, 
and among the degraded and the shameless, they 
learn to laugh at the principles which convict them of 
infatuation. Like the youth just mentioned, they 
may indeed be rescued from the fearful pit by an 
Almighty arm, but like a stricken deer which leaves 
the herd, they must then do as he is doing now — they 
must wander apart, tasting often the wormwood and 
the gall which the memory of the past administers. 
And parents would do well to write betimes, on the 



318 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



tender tablet of the young heart, those maxims, simple 
but profound— elementary, yet far-reaching, which 
God has given to point and to guide us to glory. 
" Whoso hearken eth unto Me shall dwell safely, and 
shall be quiet from the fear of evil," is one of these. 
Let that and similar truths be early ingrained upon 
the young heart, and then we say to the parent — Go 
pray, go hope ; your bread is on the waters ; you will 
find it after many days — in glory, if not here. 



SABBATH AT HOME. 



319 



CHAPTEE XI. 

SABBATH AT HOME. 

The Poetry of the Sabbath— The Fourth Commandment—" The Gates of Zion 11 — 
44 The Dwellings of Jacob" — Sabbath Joy — And Bondage — Self -Discipline of 
Parents — Ministers, their Duty to 44 the Little Ones" — A Happy Sabbath — Sab- 
bath Schools — Their Use and Blessings — Their Abuse — Every Home a Sabbath 
School — Mettray and Redhill — Examples. 

This is another of the subjects upon which poetry 

combines with plain, unvarnished truth to invest our 

homes with many attractions. " The Sabbath was 

made for man," and it has accordingly been hailed as 

" the poor man's day," on which 

" With those he loves he shares the heartfelt joy 

Of giving thanks to G-od, 

And hopes 

To reach those realms where Sabbath never ends." 

No doubt, the pictures of poetry are often marred 
by the dark realities of life, where Sabbath is not a 
day of thanksgiving but of riot. Many, moreover, 
can admire the poetry, who do not enter into the 
spirit, of the Lord's day ; yet, withal, it brings bles- 
sings still untold to the Home where God is feared ; 
for the Christian Sabbath is. to time what conscience 
is to the soul — it is both a regulator and a propelling 
power. 

And here the first remark may refer to the extent 
to which the family is contemplated in the Fourth 
Commandment. First, the parent ; then, the son ; 



320 



LAWS A2sD MAXIMS OF HOME. 



thirdly, the daughter; fourthly, the man-servant; 
fifthly, the maid-servant ; sixthly, even the cattle ; 
and seventhly, the stranger sojourning in our homes, 
are all expressly recognized ; and he who has caught 
the Sabbath spirit will see in all this a rich provision 
for happiness to man. It plants a tree of life in every 
home, that beneath its shadow the God-fearing in- 
mates may meet as in Eden of old. The Sabbath 
thus diffuses beatitudes among all, according to their 
power of enjoyment, and Home is then invested with 
even more than its usual heavenly spirit. The Lord 
of that day is specially sought. The soul and all its 
interests are solemnly considered — and the eternal 
Sabbath-keeping, in an everlasting Home, is both an- 
ticipated and prepared for. 

But the Supreme has drawn attention to this sub- 
ject by His Providence as well as His Word. Many 
a mind, jaded by study, by business, or professional 
engrossment, carried on during seven days, instead of 
six each week, has first been weakened, and then be- 
come deranged — suicide has not seldom followed for 
want of a Sabbath. Castlereagh, Romilly, and others, 
are often quoted to illustrate this point, and every as : 
pect of the holy day proclaims that no law of God 
can be neglected in our homes, while the transgressor 
escapes degradation or sorrow. 

But it is not proposed to describe how the Sabbath 
should be sanctified. We do not write for " the gates 
of Zion" — the Church, but for " the dwellings of 
Jacob" — our Homes; and on the supposition that 
"The Church in the House" is not merely an ancient 
tradition, but an actual fact, we would try to show 



SABBATH AT HOME. 



321 



how to render the Sabbath a day of rejoicing, not of 
gloom, and as such to be welcomed by youth as well 
as age. Too often has it been made a day of task- 
work drudgery. In many a home, the ungodliness of 
the young is deepened by the compulsory nature of 
their employments on the fiord's day — hence it were 
a blessing beyond all price, if its sunshine and seren- 
ity could be diffused through our dwellings. If reli- 
gion be, as some suppose, the re-uniting power in 
society,* the Sabbath may well exercise a large in- 
fluence in accomplishing that end ; while, if it be true 
that in London alone 40,000 men are so employed 
that they have no Sabbath and scarcely a home, phil- 
anthropy must yearn to see a change for the better 
introduced. 

Yet all improvement must be indefinitely retarded, 
unless parents be at pains to fit themselves for Sab- 
bath training. That parent who employs no portion 
of his time in ascertaining how his children may be 
best instructed or impressed, has not realized his re- 
sponsibility to the full : he is verifying the words of 
a Christian mother, who tells us, that " there is much 
buried in the napkin of self-indulgence, which, if call- 
ed forth and traded with, might be turned to most 
valuable purposes for the good of their children. Be 
alive," she says, " to the talents committed to your 
care ; store your memory with useful information, in- 
teresting incidents, Bible truths, and bring these forth 
at appropriate moments in the social circle. You will, 
by so doing, not only impart present gratification, but 

* Cicero derives Beligio from relegere. " Sunt dicti reiigiosi ex rele- 
gendo" — and relegere = to gather up again. 
14* 



322 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



afford your children a practical lesson how to con- 
verse. The effort involves self-discipline, trouble, 
thought, arrangement, but the responsibility of a pa- 
rent demands such exertion, and habit will make the 
task easy."* 

Now it is the neglect of such self-discipline, such 
trouble and forethought, that makes many a Sabbath 
worse than lost, and many a home akin to a prison on 
the Lord's day ; for if parents neglect their duty to 
themselves, they will not long discharge it to their 
children, and the Sabbath will be unhallowed while 
the souls both of children and of parents are put in 
jeopardy. 

Again : it is the query of one whom long expe- 
rience has made sage, whether the sermons of minis- 
ters should not be addressed to their Sabbath scholars 
far more than they are ;f and whatever may be 
thought by some of the suggestion, there is wisdom 
implied in it. For might not ministers in the pulpit, 
far more effectually than they do, assist in rendering 
the Sabbath attractive to the young ? Why so rarely 
any reference to the lambs of the flock ? Why are 
they so habitually ignored amid the lessons of the 
sanctuary ? Why should Christian mothers be tempt- 
ed, as some have been, to doubt the propriety of 
taking their tender charge to the house of God lest 
habits of listlessness should be fostered there ? " As 
a mother leads her children," one has said, " to the 
accustomed place of worship, and reminds them that 
they should try to listen to the good minister, and re- 

* "Hints to Christian Parents," pp. 54, 55. > 
f Rev. C. Bridges on the " Christian Ministry." 



SABBATH AT HOME. 



323 



member what he says, a doubt arises in her own mind 
whether or not they can listen and remember ; and 
when she marks their listlessness during the service, 
and feels (however quiet they may be) that they are 
restless and weary, her own enjoyment is damped 
by sympathy with her children, and her mind is dis- 
tracted by the question, 6 Is it right to rob them of so 
large a portion of their Sabbath time, by bringing 
them to hear instructions which they cannot receive, 
while their little minds might be exercised on sacred 
things, in the happy freedom of their own homes V 
The whispered question, ' TThen will it be done V and 
the look of relief when it is over, awaken anxious 
thoughts in a mother's heart ; and while she leads 
them homeward, painful questions stir within her as 
to the practical effect of their regular attendance at 
church."'* . . . 

Now, surely, such danger should be all avoided, and 
instead of creating or strengthening a listless spirit in 
the young, some efforts or some ingenuity should be 
put forth by ministers to interest and instruct them, 
that the service of God may be invested with attrac- 
tions, instead of being made a burden or a task. If 
it be the duty or the joy of a devoted teacher to in- 
terest, and, if possible, to rivet the minds of the young, 
ought not ministers to put forth still more assiduous 
endeavors to simplify their lessons for the lambs ?f 

* 61 An Appeal to the Ministers of Christ on Behalf of the Little 
Ones, by a Christian Mother," p. 4 

f '-How gladly would many a Christian mother plead the cause of 
her children with the faithful ministers of Christ ! How often she 
longs to address such words as follow to some honored friend and bro- 
ther in the ministry : — Have you ever remarked that Jesus said to 



324 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



Or farther : it has already been made plain that re- 
ligion is meant to make us happy — happy according 
to the mind of God. To that the young have a right, 
their heavenly Father designed them to enjoy it ; and 
an earthly parent may not intercept the peace of God 
on the way to any young heart. No doubt, sin and 
waywardness must be nipped, and that may occasion 
dispeace ; but, by the blessing of God, happiness is 

Peter, 'Feed my lambs,' before he said to him, ' Feed my sheep ?' Did 
he not speak to all his ministers when he said to Peter, 1 Feed my 
lambs?' And are we not to reckon among the lambs of Jesus, the 
babes of his own people, who have been brought to him in faith that 
they may receive his blessing ? The admonition, ' not to despise the 
little ones,' was addressed to his disciples in all ages, and his own ten- 
der care for young children is a precious feature of the example he has 
left us to follow. Tou seek, perhaps, to act in his spirit toward the 
young, by speaking a kind word in private, as opportunities occur; but 
how rare are these opportunities in the case of numbers in each con- 
gregation ! Why not show them all every Sabbath that you love their 
souls, by telling them, simply and kindly, of the love of the good Shep- 
herd? 

" Let a few sentences be spoken to the children in the course of 
every sermon (cr at longer intervals should this be deemed too much), 
and many a lisping prayer will ascend for the kind minister who re- 
membered the little ones, and often will their portion be talked over in 
the nursery, when the child climbs on his mother's knee, whispers 
something that the minister has said, and asks to hear it all again, per- 
haps for the twentieth time. What a precious sowing-time is lost by 
every minister who never thus drops the good seed into the heart of 
childhood!"— ''Appeal," pp. 6-8. 

"Again, if we may venture to judge from appearances, this power is 
very partially felt and exercised in most congregations. A stranger, 
judging from the aspect of the hearers, and the style of preaching ad- 
dressed to them, might suppose it settled by mutual acquiescence that 
a considerable number (including all the young children) need not listen 
at all ; and that of those who do listen, many need not understand.-' — 
" Appeal," pp. 9i 1 0. 



SABBATH AT HOME. 



325 



to be aimed at; and that day which he teaches us to 
call " honorable," should be specially employed so as 
to promote it among the young. The Scriptures, the 
sermon, the catechism, the hymn, the religious inci- 
dent, the brief biography, the missionary's trials or 
triumphs, the sorrows of sin, the joy of goodness, the 
love of Jesus, of the Father and the Spirit — these, and 
a hundred other topics, will occur to parents whom 
love and felt responsibility prompt to assiduity ; and 
the Home where such things are irksome is one, we 
fear, where the spirit of wisdom does not reign. 

This subject, however, is one which can best be ex- 
plained by examples ; but, before submitting any, 
this may be the proper place to advert to the inter- 
esting topic of Sabbath schools — a power which is 
now exerting a wide-spread influence upon the nation. 

Were all parents alive to the importance of Home, 
and did they use its moral power as they are bound 
by God to do, Sabbath schools would cease to exist — 
they would no longer be required. It is, in truth, the 
neglect of Home, and all its hallowing influences, 
that has rendered Sabbath schools necessary. That 
God has honored such institutions is beyond a ques- 
tion. That thousands of teachers have been there 
blessed and made blessings ; that many of the young 
have had the evil heart repressed, while not a few 
have been savingly brought to the Redeemer, are 
facts not to be doubted. Missionaries to the heathen, 
trained amid hardness or inured to neglect, have there 
first felt the inspiring love of Christ and of souls, and 
in due time have perilled all in advancing his king- 
dom and glory. Now, where God has thus blessed 



326 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



and owned, who is he that would condemn? Nay, a 
teacher in a Sabbath school, devoutly and with a be- 
liever's self-denial, giving himself to the work of re- 
claiming the outcast and neglected, is occupying one 
of the most important, and, in God's eye, one of the 
most honorable positions which a moral agent can 
fill. 

At the same time, we repeat, it is the neglect of 
home teaching, and home example, and home reli- 
gion, that renders the Sabbath school needful at all. 
Do such institutions take care of the godly nurture of 
those who have few to heed or to instruct them ? Do 
they supply the lack of home instruction, when par- 
ents are so degraded or so unfeeling as to neglect 
their little ones — or when the parents are no more ? 
Then Sabbath schools are blessings. They supple- 
ment defects : they impress aright where all other im- 
pressions are adverse to the good Employed as they 
may thus wisely be, they become important auxilia- 
ries to the Christian ministry ; they carry truth into 
quarters which the Christian ministry could never 
reach ; they help to make the desert blossom as the 
rose. 

But, on the other hand, do Sabbath schools super- 
sede, or undertake to supply the place of God's insti- 
tution — Home ? Do they grant a discharge, or fur- 
nish a fair excuse, to parents to neglect the means 
which God has appointed them to employ? Then 
Sabbath schools are not in their proper province. 
Every Christian will seek their extension, till every 
outcast or neglected child be brought to hear the 
truth and be told of the Saviour's love ; for a soul or 



SABBATH AT HOME. 



327 



a family thus reclaimed is a new moral, or a new 
medicating power in its neighborhood. That is the 
mission of the Sabbath school ; but when it breaks 
up the lessons, or weakens the responsibilities, or un- 
designedly furnishes a cloak for the indolence of 
Home, it seems to have forsaken its sphere, and to be 
interfering with a Divine institution. 

In truth, every home should be a Sabbath school ; 
every father and every mother, a Sabbath teacher : 
and it is not in man's power to free a parent from that 
obligation. The normal state of the Christian Church 
would be this : to see every parent refusing to intrust 
his young immortals to any one who professes to love 
them better than he does, and sedulously seeking to 
guide them to the Saviour. " There was a Sabbath 
class taught in the parish school," writes one regard- 
ing his boyhood ; u but Sabbath schools my uncles 
regarded as merely compensatory institutions, highly 
creditable to the teachers, but very discreditable in- 
deed to the parents and relatives of the taught, and so 
they, of course, never thought of sending me there."* 
Isow, that indicates the true light in which to view 
the Sabbath school. It supplies the place of home 
when children have none, or worse, when parents are 
dead and in their graves, or at least, dead to their re- 
sponsibility and love to souls. The parental relation 
is God's ordinance. The influence of Home is his 
honored agency for good, and to interfere with that, 
is to mar a Divine appointment. f 

* " My Schools and Schoolmasters," by Hugh Miller, 
f With all that is here said, there is still, of course, abundant room 
left for Christian zeal regarding Sabbath classes for adults, and what- 



328 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



These suggestions receive some confirmation from 
the plans now adopted in some countries for reform- 
ing young offenders. At Mettray, near Tours, in 
France, such an institution has existed for several 
years, and it at once proves the wisdom of its found- 
ers, and offers a tribute to the Divine institution of 
Home, to know that it is conducted as much as possi- 
ble on the family principle. The inmates are taught 
and guided as if they were at home. There is a 
" father of the family'' over every little group, and 
he is assisted by a " mother." There are " family 
prayers," and family habits — in short, all is so ar- 
ranged as to take full advantage of the law of domes- 
ticity ; and when that law is generally honored, ignor- 
ance will be more speedily instructed, and vice more 
speedily reclaimed** 

The subject here referred to is to be settled by princi- 
ples, not by authority. Yet to one great name would 

ever does not tend to supersede, or shift, or weaken parental obliga- 
tion. 

* The same remarks apply to the Reformatory Institution at Redhill, 
in England. There is hope concerning these things. The following- 
sentences from a judicious and thoughtful book demand attention : — 
'• May I not inquire whether it is not very possible, or rather very 
likely, in this day of plans and schemes, for benevolence itself, if not 
associated with other qualities, to frame, without-doors, some things 
which, on the parental mind within, shall operate so far as a bounty on 
idleness, and as a drawback on exertion ; so far take from parental 
obligation its appropriate awe, and from parental neglect its salutary 
shame ; so far deprive parental improvidence of its just responsibility 
and parental foresight of its fair, and rich, and delightful reward ? 
These are at least important questions, and to me they seem to deserve 
the deliberate and serious consideration of not a few." — Anderson's 
" Domestic Constitution," pp. 207, 208, edit, of 184Y. See also p. 319. 



SABBATH AT HOME. 



329 



we appeal as helping to adjust the right position of 
the Sabbath school. Dr. Chalmers was an earnest 
advocate for such institutions. They supplied what 
his large heart so often longed for — the means of pro- 
moting the piety of the common people ; and his 
wide-ranging mind did much to extend and establish 
the system wherever it was needed. He w r as intoler- 
ant of objections against it, even though it were the 
weighty objection of withdrawing children from pa- 
rental guardianship ; and while he lamented the want 
of will in many parents to attend to the religious 
training of their children, he based his unanswer- 
able argument for Sabbath schools mainly upon that 
want. Yet while pressing his convictions, he said : 
" Parents, generally speaking, labor under no natural 
disqualification for the effective training up of their 
offspring in the nurture and admonition of the Lord 
— and why ? Just because, agreeably to all I have 
stated on this subject, every one of them may, if he 
will, have access to the Bible ; every one of them 
may, if he will, have access to the Mediator, through 
whom the things of God may, through the medium 
of the Bible, be revealed to the understanding ; every 
one of them may, if he will, have the benefit of the 
teaching of the Holy Ghost, and through prayer for 
wisdom as he stands in need of it, may obtain a plen- 
tiful supply of that wisdom, in virtue of which he 
may win the souls of his family. With all this in 
my mind, I can have no doubt as to the general com- 
petency of parents for the Christian charge of their 
families ; nor do I think that the land in which we 
dwell will ever become a land of righteousness, till 



330 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



many a parent shall have reared in his own home the 
altar of piety, and shall have set up a school of in- 
struction under the sanctuary of his own roof, and 
within the retirement of his own walls." .... 

EXAMPLES. 

To illustrate the important subject of Sabbath at 
Home, we submit the following account by a Mother 
in Israel who loves souls and has learned to live for 
them. Too long has the training of children been 
pushed into a corner of Home, or treated as of minor 
importance ; but the following narrative describes an 
abode where the souls of the children, their salvation, 
and their happiness, regulate, as they should do, the 
Sabbath doings of all. 

In describing our little plans for Sabbath, a Narra- 
tive before us says, I have to begin with Saturday, 
having learned by experience that the comfort of the 
Sabbath depends very much on the arrangements 
made for the preceding day. It seems to me very 
important that parents should endeavor to wind up 
their affairs for the week as much as possible on 
Friday, and so leave themselves at leisure on Satur- 
day to share the pursuits and enjoy the company of 
their children. JSTo one need fear that in doing so, he 
is giving up one of the six days of work required by 
Divine authority, for the work of cultivating his chil- 
dren's affections, and controlling and guiding their 
amusements is a most important and difficult branch 
of parental duty, on which mainly depends his power 
of training them for God. There is a sweet and pre- 
cious feeling always to be found in very young chil- 



SABBATH AT HOME. 



331 



dren, which, makes them crave a parent's sympathy 
in all their little interests, and find every pleasure en- 
hanced by a parent's presence and smile. Now, we 
should never allow this feeling to pine and die for 
want of encouragement. We must have free and 
constant access to their hearts, in order to have the 
power of conversing with them on Divine things, and 
nothing tends more to keep up freedom of intercourse 
with them on their highest interests, than giving them 
free access to us in regard to those little concerns and 
pleasures which, though trifles in our eyes, are of 
great moment in theirs. 

I have been led for some years to tell my little ones 
(this Mother continues), that Saturday should be a 
sociable day, spent in doing or enjoying things to- 
gether — feeling thankful to God for all our comforts, 
and trying to give pleasure to each other; and we 
always pray together on Saturday morning, that we 
may so spend the day as to be prepared to keep the 
Sabbath holy. 

One advantage of having Saturday pleasures which 
the parent directs and shares, is that he finds it easy 
to guard his children from over-excitement, which 
often leaves both mind and body unfitted for the 
sacred duties of the Lord's day. For a long time, 
we kept strictly to the rule of having no company on 
Saturday, and declining all Saturday invitations both 
for ourselves and our children ; but of late we have 
felt it a duty occasionally to share the enjoyments of 
our family circle with some of those who live at a dis- 
tance from their own homes, and are closely engaged 
on every day but Saturday. . . . My own conviction 



332 LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 

is very strong, that visiting on Saturday evening is 
better avoided if possible, from the very great diffi- 
culty of regulating it so as not to dissipate the minds 
of the young, or cause fatigue and hurry to servants. 

The plan which I have often seen recommended, of 
putting away week-day things, and making arrange- 
ments for Sabbath on Saturday evening, is one which 
we have long practised, and found to be most useful. 
I have always tried to accustom my nurse and little 
ones to collect their tools and noisy playthings, and 
put them aside, but have never felt myself warranted 
to deprive my little children of every kind of play- 
thing on Sabbath. Amusement, in some form or 
other, seems to me as necessary to their comfort and 
wellbeing as sleep and food, and I could never teach 
them Watts' well-known line — 

"I must neither work nor play" — 
for they are too young to work, and I cannot see that 
God forbids them to play. His blessed command is 
addressed to those who can work six days in the 
week, and that class alone are commanded to rest 
on the seventh. Those who are incapable of work 
are incapable of ceasing from work, and it is a fal- 
lacy to forbid as work on Sabbath what we never 
pretend to regard as work on any other day. 

Yet children may at a very early age obey that 
portion of the commandment which requires us to 
remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy — and I 
have always tried to engage them in sacred duties as 
long and as often as I could, avoiding on the one 
hand, the danger of making holy things a task — and 
on the other, of allowing them to play or trifle while 



SABBATH AT HOME. 



333 



apparently engaged in sacred duties. Intervals spent 
in recreation s^eem to me indispensable as a means of 
fitting them for hearty, earnest attention during the 
portions of time reserved for holy things. I required 
from the first that all Sabbath recreations should 
be quiet, telling them that grown-up people were able 
to spend the whole Sabbath in reading the Bible, pray- 
ing, and thinking about God, and therefore little chil- 
dren must take care not to hinder or annoy, by their 
noise, those who were so employed. 

I also endeavored, the Narrative proceeds, to in- 
crease the privileges and pleasures of Sabbath by 
keeping the newest toys locked up during the week, 
and laying them out for Sabbath on Saturday evening. 
The children have had dissected pictures from Bible- 
scenes ; a large letter-box has afforded them the means 

of putting up short texts and I have felt much 

encouraged by remarking that as they groiv older, 
they choose and invent employments for themselves 
suited to the Sabbath. For instance, one of them 
having learned the ten commandments, began, of his 
own accord, to write them in a book during his spare 

time on Sabbath Their drawings on the 

sacred day are generally attempts at diagrams repre- 
senting missionary scenes, or portions of Bible history. 
It has been a comfort to me that the chil- 
dren have always shown a strong sense of the sin of 
Sabbath amusements for grown-up people. Sabbath 
boatings and excursions, which we have sometimes 
witnessed from our windows, seemed to shock them 
as much as ourselves. 

Farther : I find that it requires some watchfulness 



334 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



and exertion to prevent the household from sitting 
late on Saturday night, and rising late on Sabbath 
morning — and I am thoroughly convinced that both 
habits are unfavorable to the right observance of the 
Sabbath. 

When my boys come to me for their morning texts 
and prayers, the Sabbath is always specially remem- 
bered. They first pray in their own words, and then 
I pray with them, and such petitions as the following 
are always offered — " Lord, help us to keep the Sab- 
bath day " Make me very earnest and attentive in 
church " Help the good ministers to convert many 
people." 

We were led, some time ago, to adopt a plan for 
family worship, which is, I think, really useful to the 
children. In the morning, when the little ones are 
always present, we read only the narrative parts of 
Scripture, and I go over with them on the previous 
evening the passage to be read next morning. While 
they were very young, I used to tell them the sub- 
stance of it in my own words : now, I read the por- 
tion, answer their little questions about it, and point 
out any thing I wish them to remark. Then the same 
passage is read at the morning family worship, and 
questions are asked which the children are generally 
ready to answer. I believe this to be a means of 
making our worship less formal and more interesting 
to the grown-up persons present, while it affords an 
opportunity for short, simple remarks, which, though 
addressed to the children, may convey instruction to 
others without risk of offence. 

Some years ago, we tried various methods for pro- 



SABBATH AT HOME. 



335 



moting religious conversation at breakfast on Sabbath 
morning. Each prepared a question to be answered 
from the Bible, or the youngest present was allowed to 
put a question to each of the others on Bible-history. 
"We found, however, that these little arrangements 
soon grew burdensome to some of our party, and we 
have long given them up, leaving conversation unre- 
strained, but praying that it may be kept suitable to 
the Sabbath, and trying to make it so. Questions, 
and repeating texts at meals, are good plans if they 
be heartily entered into by all ; but if even one show 
dislike or indifference, they cease to be the means of 
promoting natural conversation, and rather put the 
party out of tune. 

Farther : To be on the outlook during the week 
for interesting things to talk of on the Sabbath is 
strongly recommended by Abbott, and I have always 
agreed with him, though I do not think we have ever 
brought it into practice as fully as we ought. . . But 
if the father of a family take an interest in missions 
and other plans for doing good, and if the members, 
according to their age and ability, are accustomed to 
follow out some plan of usefulness, and to take an 
interest in good works, there will be no lack of sub- 
jects suited for Sabbath conversation. And this is 
one of the many ways in which the Lord pays again 
those who give freely to Him, some portion of their 
substance and their time. 

Breakfast over, the children see their father in succes- 
sion in the library, beginning with the youngest. We 
keep a daily record of their general conduct and their 
diligence at lessons and in work, and this is shown to 



336 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



him every Sabbath, morning, when he talks and prays 
with each. Nothing seems to me of greater value in 
parental dealing with children, than to keep up the 
constant practice of meeting them alone. I have 
always made a point of seeing my little ones sepa- 
rately for their daily morning texts and prayers ; and 
both of us have kept up for years the plan of seeing 
the elder children alone on Sabbath. A parent may 
at times feel pained at the want of confidence and 
openness in his children, which renders the regular 
meeting rather a trial than a pleasure. But if 
estrangement and reserve exist, it is desirable they 
should be fully felt, that the parent may try to dis- 
cover the cause and seek its removal. On the other 
hand, when the child is disposed to lay open his heart 
to the parent, this regular opportunity is most pre- 
cious to both ; and if none were provided, a timid, 
feeling child might not have courage to seek it of his 
own accord. 

I was confirmed in my own view on this point, and 
also in regard to social companionship with children, 
by hearing of a large family who all seemed to be 
growing up for God, and the two following points in 
the mother's practice appear to have been blessed as 
the means. First, she had made a regular practice of 
seeing her children separately on Sabbath, and had 
found it possible to do so, under the difficulties of in- 
creasing numbers and differences of age. Secondly, 
she had inflexibly reserved some portions of each day 
for having her children around her, and spending 
with them a time of social enjoyment. This also was 
difficult, but she persevered, and never suffered \my 



SABBATH AT HOME. 



337 



tors or other claims to set aside what she regarded as 
a prior engagement with her children. " The time 
with Mamma," both on the Sabbath and on week- 
days, was a privilege highly prized by all the chil- 
dren ; and whatever personal effort or sacrifice was 
needed to secure it, was more than repaid to the 
mother by the confidence and love of her young 
flock, and by their walking with her in the ways of 
pleasantness and peace. 

We have five missionary boxes in the house (this 
Account says farther), and also some missionary 

maps, pictures, and curiosities We began 

about five years ago with one box for India, and the 
rest have since been added by desire of the children, 
as new objects of interest were presented to their 
minds. The earnestness displayed by them in our 
little missionary plans is sometimes very encourag- 
ing. After briefly asking the Divine blessing, we 
begin by putting into the boxes the money set apart 
for this purpose on the preceding evening ; and then 
each of the children receives and puts into his charity 
purse, the little sum he had earned during the previ- 
ous week, by good marks, by doing some useful work, 
or by some little act of self-denial. I then read some 
portions selected from our little monthly magazines, 
or any thing likely to awaken interest in the Lord's 
work, or quicken and direct their wish to do good. 
We were led to begin this little meeting by a request 
that we would help the Madras mission with our 
prayers, and when other missionary or benevolent 
objects have been brought before us, the children 
have often said, " AVe should pray for this. 5 ' A list 

15 



33S 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



of twelve objects has thus been gradually made, 
which we take in succession to talk about at our 
little meeting. 

Sometimes the children have a great deal that they 
are eager to say. At other times I have to remind 
them of what they have heard, or call it forth by 
questions. But in thus talking about the little they 
know, it is kept fresh in their minds, while they are 
helped by the missionary map, and by glancing at 
the dark condition of the world there. They then each 
choose one or two things to pray for, and help me to 
reckon up the subjects to be left for me; each next 
offers a short prayer in his own simple words, which is 
followed by mine, and I try to make it as simple as 
theirs, and to touch as concisely on the different sub- 
jects, c I think it is about two years 

since we began this plan, and I have fairly tried and 
found it a good one 

This narrative of a busy Sabbath day next touches 
on public worship, and describes the difficulty felt by 
some mothers in taking their little ones to church at 
all, where the sermons and services are often but little 
adapted to meet the minds and stir the hearts of chil- 
dren. This earnest Mother then refers to her own 
endeavors with her children, on the afternoon of the 
Sabbath day, and says, My object at this time is to 
increase their knowledge of the Bible, and especially 
to remind them of their baptism, its meaning and ob- 
ligations. I have written some short papers on this 
subject, which are often read, and we go over a brief 
summary of the blessings and duties signified in 
baptism, and converse and pray together. "We have 



SABBATH AT HOME. 



39 



always made a point of having no lessons on Sab- 
bath — no learning by rote. If our children repeat 
any thing, it has been prepared during the week, and 
merely revised for Sabbath. 

The next point adverted to is " The Church in tlie 
Nursery," where hymns are sung, and the Scriptures 
read, and then the employments of this Home, after 
dinner, are thus described : Each tells a story, from 
the oldest to the youngest ; — a very useful and happy 
custom. A hymn is sung, texts which had been 
learned during the week, are repeated now. The 
younger members soon after this retire ; the more 
advanced read their notes of the sermons which they 
have heard ; and, later in the evening, we assemble 
with the servants for family reading. A written 
question is given to each of the elder children and 
the servants. These questions are answered in writ- 
ing on the following Sabbath, and the answers, after 
being examined, are returned in private with such re- 
marks as seem to be required. Four or five verses of 
the Bible are next repeated, and a portion of the 
Shorter Catechism is said by the elder children. The 
head of the household then reads a portion of Scrip- 
ture, with notes and extracts previously prepared, and 
also any thing likely to interest and instruct which 
has occurred in his reading during the week. Maps 
and diagrams are often shown to illustrate the read- 
ing. These evening duties, which begin and end with 
prayer, generally last for an hour and a half, or from 
half-past seven till nine, when the social exercises 
close. 

And such is an account of the plans adopted in one 



340 LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 

household to hallow the Sabbath day, and make it 
bear upon preparedness for eternity alike in young 
and old. Those who are not accustomed to pay much 
attention to their children's souls may wonder at the 
variety of engagements w T hich these plans betoken. 
Some even of the wise, the good, and the soul-loving 
may have other plans which they prefer and pursue, 
but here is a Home where all the proceedings of the 
Sabbath are studiously adapted to promote the godly 
upbringing of the young, to render religion attractive, 
yet mix it up with all that is said and done. The 
ungodly would find such doings irksome, just as 
heaven itself would be no heaven to them. But is 
salvation the one thing needful ? Is the love of souls 
ascendant in a parent's bosom ? Is it felt to be really 
the business of this life to prepare for the next ? Is 
the Bible true, and are its maxims binding? Finally, 
is the Lord of the Sabbath our joy and rejoicing? 
Then such methods as have been here described will 
be hailed as means which that Lord may bless to 
train up children in the way in which they ought to 
go. 



HOMES OF THE RICH AND POOR. 



341 



CHAPTEE XH. 

THE HOMES OF THE RICH AND THE POOR. 

I. — The Homes of the Rich — The Ungodly — And their Ruin — Pleasant Places — An 
Example. — It. — The Homes of the Poor — The Dissolute — The Devout — The 
Trials of the Poor — Manufactories — The Interlinkings of Society — Examples — - 
A Galaxy. 

It is a truism to observe that it is not what we pos- 
sess, but what we are that decides our character. 
Judged by that maxim, the first in the world's esteem 
would often be last — the last would often be first; 
and as some of the suggestions already offered may 
not seem to bear upon all classes, we may here glance 
at the Homes of the rich and poor in the light of 
Scripture, in some of their distinctive characteristics. 

I. THE HOMES OF THE RICH. 

It is a melancholy sight to see God utterly forgotten 
in the Homes where he has shed down the affluence 
of his bounty. On the right hand and on the left, 
his blessings in providence are strewed, but never 
once is the knee bent to implore his guidance or 
praise him for his goodness.; the families who dwell 
there " call not on the name of the Lord." Children 
grow up without being won by a parent's religion; 
and the good impressions which may be received from 
others, the parent's example often speedily effaces. 
Amid the insipidities which fashion exalts to the rank 



342 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



of virtues, the soul is entombed. The more God be- 
stows, the more he is neglected. Men enjoy so many 
of his gifts that, in practice, they can dispense with 
himself, and they pass on to his tribunal amid frivol- 
ities which need scarcely arrest the attention even of 
the winged insect of an hour. Such homes are like 
a galley richly freighted, but sailing amid rocks, and 
quicksands, and coral reefs. One book could be their 
chart, their God's — but that book is unheeded, and 
they sink. 

It is pleasant, however, to turn from such a scene 
to contemplate those abodes of affluence which are 
also the homes of piety, or sanctuaries in which God 
is honored. " The Church in the house" assembles 
there from day to day. Parents there seek by prayer 
and painstaking to advance the highest interests of 
their little ones, and some, whose social position gives 
them rank at the right hand of royalty, thus evince 
an earnestness in their love of truth which becomes 
them better than coronet or star. Their simple faith 
and lowly goodness not seldom make their piety as 
rich and as captivating as the trees of the tropics. 
The vortex of fashion compels such decided souls to 
grasp the truth in the hand of a very simple faith. 
They must either do so, or be sucked from the rock 
by the surge : but by grace they grasp that truth 
and are safe. Children, servants, all within their 
gates, are cared for, and the beauties of such holiness 
are far more attractive than all that affluence or titles 
can pile upon men. What believer, with the Bible 
in his hand, will think of Lord Collingwood's victo- 
ries, when his piety is depicted ? or of Lord Nelson's 



HOMES OF THE EICII AND POOR. 



343 



achievements, brilliant as they were, when seen be- 
hind the dark shadows of his ignoble private life ? 

In the princely palace at B , one wanders from 

hall to hall, and from corridor to corridor, admiring, 
or sometimes even awed by what he sees. Literature 
finds a stately sanctuary there. Art embellishes long 
suites of apartments. Science is largely represented. 
Taste walks hand in hand with affluence. From cu- 
pola to threshold all is princely, and the visitant can- 
not help glancing, perhaps, from the windows of that 
magnificent abode to the far-off cottage, scarcely per- 
ceptible from the vastness of park and lawn, and mar- 
velling at the contrasted homesteads of the co-equal 
sons of mortality, the laborer and the lord. 

But he is led to that portion of the pile which is 
set apart for the worship of God — the Chapel of the 
Palace — and what meets him there ? All is confusion 
— tasteless, tawdry, and offensive. Paltry pictures, 
displaced from more prominent positions, disfigure 
the walls of God ? s portion of that Home. They are 
incongruous as well as tasteless ; and when the eye 
of a worshipper rests upon them, they must suggest 
ideas antagonistic to reverence toward God. Now, 
all that is just an embodied representation of what 
often takes place in the homes of the rich, and what 
the final result must be Eutherford may tell. "The 
wound of a wounded spirit impaireth the health, dri- 
eth up the blood, wasteth away the marrow, pineth 
away the flesh, consumeth away the bones, maketh 
pleasure painful, and shorten eth life : no wisdom can 
counsel it, no counsel can advise it, no advice can per 
suade it, no assuagement can cure it, no power can 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



overcome it, no sceptic can affray it, no enchanter can 
charm it and all that sad experience awaits those 
who subordinate God to self — who glorify man in 
stately halls, and God in a dust-laden corner. 

n. THE HOMES OF THE POOR. 

" The common people heard Jesus gladly." Though 
a life of holiness possesses many attractions when it 
is led by the influential or the accomplished, it is 
among the sons and the daughters of toil that we 
commonly find godliness in greatest vigor. Many of 
them are, no doubt, the victims of debasing habits, 
and we cannot look upon some of their homes, their 
little ones, or themselves, without seeing mournful 
proofs of that truth. Home laws are violated, and 
home rights are set at nought. A bleak soul within 
scowls upon a bleak world without, and all is wretch- 
edness there. But, on the other hand, where godli- 
ness exists, it rectifies such disorders. It sheds light 
upon dark homes. It tames wild children. It curbs 
the outbreak of passion. It may restore even bodily 
health ; and those who have visited the homes where 
such godliness dwells, have felt that it was good for 
them to be there, to see the humble but saintly chil- 
dren of labor " far more illumined, and with nobler 
truths," than the doating devotees of mere earthly 
science or mere material wealth. In such homes, 
amid poverty, perhaps, and toil, and not seldom sick- 
ness, we leam more and more to admire the domestic 
constitution. "We see what blessings it can diffuse 
when the will of God is paramount, and the simple 
annals of such abodes proclaim at once the power of 



HOMES OF THE KICH AND POOR. 



345 



grace, the blessedness of the righteous, and what it is 
that constitutes the felicity of Home. He saw far 
into many things who said, that without intercourse 
with his poorer neighbors in affliction, there is no 
spiritual health or full happiness for man.* 

But we can scarcely glance at the homes of the 
poor without being reminded of the peculiar trials 
which abound in them, and the peculiar sympathy 
which is due to their inmates. The children are often 
doomed to premature toil, and leave their homes be- 
fore correct principle is taught, far less confirmed. 
Often from early dawn till evening twilight, or later 
still, are parents and children separated. Some 
crowded manufactory is then their day-long home, 
and there all that should be cherished is often over- 
laid, 

" Men. maidens, youths, 
Mothers and little children, boys and girls, 
Enter, and each the wonted task resumes 
Within this temple, where is offered up 
To gain, the master-idol of the realm, 
Perpetual sacrifice." 

Now, philanthropy looks round in vain for a rem- 
edy for such moral evils. The grasp of cupidity 
refuses to be relaxed, and home deserted, parents and 
children toiling to the uttermost, must continue to 
abound. But what philanthropy cannot achieve re- 
ligion can ; and it furnishes an antidote to much of 
the evil, when it shows to the poor or the toil-worn a 
Saviour once like themselves. So attractive is he in 
his love, so genial in his sympathy, so perfectly hu- 

* Dr. Arnold. 

15* 



346 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



man in his lowliness, yet so mysteriously divine, that 
men may rejoice even in poverty when it supplies one 
tie more between Jesus and the soul. A Home may 
be very humble, and the fare of its inmates may be 
frugal or coarse. But he who said so wisely, " An 
altar of earth shall you make to your God," and not a 
gaudy or a gorgeous pile, never despises the worship 
of such a Home when it is the heart that adores. 
"When such a blameless pair as those mentioned by 
Luke,* "both righteous before God, walking in all 
the commandments and ordinances of the Lord," oc- 
cupy a Home, he takes up his abode there — his peace 
rests upon that house. There may be no such scenes 
as the romance of poetry sketches, when it speaks of 
the dwellings of the poor, and asks — 

" Are they not lowly cottages, 

With moss and flowers o'ergrown, 
And little gardens circling them 
Like an enchanted zone ? 

"Do not sweet blossoms incense breathe 
Into the very door, 
Amd early roses gaily wreathe 
The tiny casements o'er?" 

1ST ay, far different sights may meet us ; but even then, 
if God be feared, these homes are temples — man 
adores, and is blessed. 

Again — and just one view more. By a wise and 
kindly law, God has interlinked the different classes 
of society so closely together that no one need affect 
independence : it is a dream. The rich need the poor 
to labor for them, and the poor need the rich for sup- 

* Chap. i. 6. 



HOMES OF THE RICH AND POOR. 3±7 

port : the sick need the healthy to tend them, and the 
healthy need the sick to teach them how to suffer and 
to die. Society, through all its sections, is thus inter- 
dependent, and men are equally blessed in their 
homes, whether it be a castle or a hut that they oc- 
cupy, if they dedicate it to God and make it a Bethel. 
Home then becomes a focus of gladness — but only 
then ; and as streams flow down from the mountains 
to fertilize the valleys, wholesome influences descend 
from the higher to the lower in life, when God is the 
guide of each. " The gentle glories and the sweet en- 
dearments of his own fireside" then become a solace 
and a strength alike to the rich and the poor. 

EXAMPLES. 

The effects produced upon mind by different local- 
ities must largely mould man's nature. He who is 
reared in an Indian jungle, will not think, or feel, or 
act just like a native of the Val d'Arno. A dweller 
in that a valley of weeping," Glencoe, cannot have 
exactly the same likings as a native of Kent. A man 
who never travelled out of sight of the stern glories of 
Chamouni can scarcely judge of things like an occu- 
pant of the Campagna Felice. 

Our Homes thus mould our minds. Yet genius, 
greatness, goodness, are not geographical things, and 
are entailed upon no order. Daniel Defoe was once 
a hosier, yet he wrote " Robinson Crusoe," a work 
which perhaps ranks second only to the " Pilgrim's 
Progress," in the number whom it has charmed. 
John Bunyan, that king of men, was a tinker. Isaac 
"Walton was a linen-draper. Shakspeare was a yeo- 



343 



LAWS AXD MAXIMS OF HOME. 



man's son. Bloomfield was a shoemaker, and Burns 
a ploughman. Cobbet was first a farmer's boy, and 
then a common soldier. Ferguson, the astronomer, 
was a herd-boy. Ben Jonson was a bricklayer. Cap- 
tain Cook was the son of an untaught peasant. The 
elder Herschell was a musician in a German regiment. 
Bichard Arkright began life as a barber, and Chant- 
rey as a milk-boy. Sir Thomas Lawrence was the 
son of an innkeeper. The first Sir Robert Peel began 
as a workman, and ended as a merchant prince. The 
first missionaries to India were sneered at, by heart- 
less wits, as deserters from the last and the loom. 
Harlan Page was a carpenter, and John Pounds a 
cobbler — but why proceed I The galaxy of bright 
names which have emerged from humble homes tell 
that there as elsewhere, God-sent men are found ; and 
while all this displays how equally God's gifts are 
distributed, it warns us to keep the fountains clear, 
that the streams may be copious and pure. Even 
though the homes of the poor may rarely send forth 
such men as have been named, they are every day 
sending forth into society myriads upon whom, as 
workmen and servants, our welfare, our domestic com- 
fort, or even our safety depends ; and if that be true, 
how important is it to leaven all such homes by the 
sweet influences of heavenly truth ! When we have 
learned to love, in some degree, as the Saviour did, 
one of the deepest yearnings of the soul is to see his 
"Word enthroned alike in the palace and the hut. 
That is the salt which preserves from corruption — 
that is the light which illumines amid darkness — that 
is the wisdom which guides amid abounding snares — 



HOMES OF THE RICH AM) POOR. 



and that is the grand amalgam for binding rich and 
poor together in the bonds of a common brotherhood. 
The poor man's home becomes the palace of the Great 
King, if his truth be enthroned. The palace of a 
prince is only a tomb for the living, if that truth be 
ignored. 



350 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



CHAPTEE XIII. 

THE WIDOW'S HOME. 

The Mourners Book— The "Widow's God — Aspects of Widowhood— Consolations 
— The Bible — The Loss of a Husband — The Saving of a Soul — Beauty for Ashes 
— Examples — In Scripture — Mrs. General . 

It is beautiful to notice how much of the Bible 
bears on the condition of the widow. God's book is 
pre-eminently the book of mourners. It is written 
for them, it can be best prized by them, and is 
thoroughly adapted to the " afflicted and the poor 
people," of whom she is the chief. He who is full of 
pity undertakes to be especially the widow's God, and 
the words addressed to the bereaved church are not 
less adapted to the bereaved Christian wife — " Thy 
Maker is thy husband." 

And she needs it all ; for of all the homes of sor- 
row^ hers is often the most desolate. The cold, and 
rifled, and joyless abode — the measureless blank, the 
lacerated feelings, the crushed heart, the lowering fu- 
ture- — all tell her what it is to have the delight of her 
eyes taken away with a stroke, and to be left alone in 
a cold, inhospitable w T orld. 

First, the w T idow is perhaps plunged into poverty 
by the blow\ Her living husband brought affluence, 
or a competency to her — but all lias perished with 
him, and now dependence has become her lot, and 
added to her other wasting griefs. 



THE WIDOW S HOME. 



351 



Or next, the widow must stint, and strain, and toil, 
and still have but a pittance. 

" The heart of love that made her home an ever sunny place," 

is cold in the grave, and most of her joys are beside 
it. Through tears, she sees around her the little ones, 
now orphans, to whom she must be both a father and 
a mother. The labors of the night, added to those of 
the day, are often not enough to secure their daily 
bread ; and the pains and privations which she has 
thus to endure without ceasing, rival in their bitter- 
ness the pang which made her what she is. At the 
sight of them, her heart may sink within her ; in 
some cases, reason has given way ; and though the 
God of the widow and the fatherless will shield, her 
lot is dark and crushing. 

Or, again, the widow is feeble and delicate. She 
was screened from all that could injure or grieve her 
by him whom death has snatched away. But now 
she has to battle with the world, weak, weary, and 
alone. The nature that was fashioned to lean has 
now nothing earthly on which to rely — like the vine 
when torn from its elm, she sinks to the earth, and 
sometimes feels as if it would be well if she could die. 
The sad condition of what Henry calls " a beheaded 
house" is realized in all its grief. It seems the bitter- 
ness, of death repeated. 

Or, next, the widow may sorrow for another cause. 
She and he who is now in the narrow house, may 
often have rejoiced together in fellowship as saints. 
The tie which unites husband to wife, and wife to 
husband, may have been both consecrated and made 



352 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



stronger by the bond which knit them, not merely as 
creatures, but as Christians. But now all that is 
over; it is extinguished by death; and the hour of 
prayer or the Sabbath devotion, which often brought 
deep joy to both, is transformed into a source of sor- 
row by the sad memories which it awakens — the un- 
utterable blank which it discloses. Her strength 
melts into tears, and her soul is bowed to the dust, 
while she drains the bitterest dregs of a cup filled to 
the brim with sorrow. 

Or, farther, perhaps that widow, a Christian herself, 
sits in sackcloth and ashes, unable to weep for anguish 
when she thinks of the manner of her husband's death. 
He had not lived as a believer in Jesus : man, not 
God, was his fear : earth, not heaven, was the centre 
of his hopes, or the goal of his aspirations ; and he 
died and gave no sign. Regarding eternity, all is 
consequently dark. She dare not look forward. She 
can only be silent, for her God has done it all ; or, 
if she speaks, it is to pour out her heartful before 
him. 

Such are some glimpses of the widow's lot. But is 
she a believer in Jesus ? Does she know the way to 
the throne occupied now by Him who was once " the 
Man of sorrows ?" Or is the Comforter whom he 
promised sought and honored by her ? Then conso- 
lation may abound ; and it is thus that he adminis- 
ters it — 

" The stranger, and the fatherless, and the widow 
which are within thy gates shall come, and shall eat, 
and be satisfied, that the Lord thy God may bless 
thee." .... 



THE WIDOW'S HOME. 



353 



— "A father of the fatherless, and a judge of the 
widows, is God in his holy habitation." 

— " Leave thy fatherless children; I will preserve 
them alive ; and let thy widows trust in me." 

— " Pure religion and undefiled before God and the 
father is this, To visit the fatherless and the widows 
in their affliction." 

By assurances so tender, the God of the desolate 
pours balm into the wounded spirit, and causes " the 
widow's heart to sing for joy." He thus soothes her 
aching soul, and the God and Father of our Lord 
Jesus Christ is now beheld as peculiarly the God of 
the widow — tending, soothing, and upholding her on 
her journey home. 

And moreover, in cases not a few, the loss of a hus- 
band has been the occasion of saving the soul. Till 
that desolating bereavement befell, there was no 
earnest thought devoted to hereafter. Leaning on a 
broken reed, centring affection on the creature, and 
seeking rest upon a heaving wave, the eternal reali- 
ties seemed far off, shadowy things. But when the 
sad truth of the creature's insufficiency was flashed 
upon the soul by the resistless stroke of death, or 
when the world was seen through the medium of 
tears and a rifled home, the need of a better hope was 
felt ; heaven began to seem bright, when earth was 
wrapt in gloom. 

The time may accordingly arrive when even such 
desolate homes become the abodes of peace. There is 
beauty given for ashes, and the oil of joy for mourn- 
ing. God is chosen there, and he can " supply all 
our wants." The poor fleeting creature is regarded as 



354 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



the creature should ever be. It is seen that the true 
happiness of life lies in the favor of God, and seeking 
it there, the widowed heart learns to rejoice indeed. 
Like him who said of old, " I should have perished, 
had I not perished" — that is, my soul would have 
been ruined had my earthly hopes not been blighted 
— such widows can say, My soul would have been 
lost had death not snatched from my home him who 
was my stay, nay, alas ! my very God. And now 

" That grief- stricken heart, weaned from the world, 
Clings closer to the Cross, and thence derives 
Its sweetest comfort, and its fixed support." 

It is thus that grace transmutes loss into gain. It 
turns our sighs into prayers, and out of the tomb 
brings a better than mortal life — as from the grave of 
Christ, life and immortality dawned upon man. A 
more genial influence is now diffused through the 
widow's abode, and though it may often be sad, it 
need never be gloomy; nay, the Sun of Righteous- 
ness may shine especially there. 

And need we tell how unavailing all mortal conso- 
lations, in such cases, are ? We have seen a widow 
clothed in the garments of her fresh sorrow, hastening 
to a theatre for solace ; but was it likely she would 
find it ? And when Philip the Handsome of Austria 
died, Juana, his widow, had his body magnificently 
attired, and laid upon a bed of state. She was actu- 
ated by the hope that her husband would revive, and 
watched and waited long for his restoration to life. 
Such was the delirious consolation to which that 
widow clung ; and was it wonderful that when Philip 
was carried at last to the grave, that woman's heart 



THE WIDOW'S HOME. 



355 



was left in the loneliness of despair ? When she made 
a creature her stay in spite of death, what could re- 
main but woe ? 

EXAMPLES. 

The Scriptures abound in examples both of the 
good done by widows, and of the guardianship exer- 
cised over them by Him who is love. Whether a 
prophet was to be saved from starvation, or a model 
giver furnished to the Church — whether we were to 
be taught to weep with those who weep, or to wit- 
ness some of the most touching sights even in the 
Saviour's history, it is to the home of the widow that 
we are pointed ; some of them shine there, and will 
shine as the stars forever and ever. But let us turn 
to a recent example. 

General was an infidel of a very resolute type, 

and he died as he had lived, firm, obstinate, and proud. 
Soon after his death, his widow was taken ill of a dis- 
ease which left but little hope that her life would be 
prolonged. Those who loved her soul, and who spoke 
to her regarding her eternal future, were repelled by 
the assurance that her husband and she had held the 
same opinions, and " she never could wish to go to a 
better place than where he was." She accordingly 
refused to pray. She firmly and boldly rejected the 
Bible ; and though the hand-of death was very visibly 
upon her, she parried every attempt to lead her to the 
only spot of safety — the Cross. 

But one of the most firm hearts that ever animated 
an accomplished woman, at length in some degree 
gave way. A tear first, then prayer, then inquiry 



356 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



then the Bible for the first time examined with care, 
were stages in her progress ; and then she was over- 
heard exclaiming, " O my God ! O my distracted 
soul ! God pity my weakness ! Mercy, O Lord ! 
mercy on me, and heal my blindness, if I am in 
error." All the while, however, "the death-like 
aversion of her soul to Christ" continued unremoved. 
She could weep over the New Testament now, but 
she could not welcome its Saviour. The Bible's ac- 
count of sin at length drew from her the cry, " O my 
God ! is there no hope ? God be merciful to me a 
sinner!" and then the tender exhibition of the Gospel 
— " The Lamb of God who taketh away the sin of the 
world" — at last carried her heart. She confessed all. 
She had sinned against conscience, against early in- 
structions, against the Spirit of God — and now she is 
not far from his kingdom ; the cry, " Can the Bible 
lead me to a cure for a broken heart? Is it Jesus 
Christ?" was the first gleam of its reflected light. 
She felt the " overwhelming guilt of her soul," and 
that drove her to the Refuge. " Oh, may I venture ?" 
was her earnest inquiry. " O my God ! and are these 
promises, are these offers made to such as me ?" was 
language which showed that she was feeling her way 
to the resting-place ; and the words, " O my Redeem- 
er ! I take thee as my Saviour — now, wholly, only, 
and forever" — indicated that this wandering dove had 
found the ark — this widowed one the Husband of the 
soul. " The Lord God of truth had redeemed her" by 
her own confession — and thus what began in widow- 
hood and a broken heart, led to the exceeding weight of 
glory. Nature had once prompted the repelling cry — 



THE WIDOW'S HOME. 



357 



" Away ! to me — a woman — bring 
Sweet waters from affection's spring 

but grace now taught her with joy to draw water 
from the wells of salvation. The grief which had 
corroded her heart was turned into songs. The wan- 
derer, in one case more, has come to himself, and 
there is joy on high over another penitent soul. 

And it is often thus. God leads the blind by a way 
which they do not know ; and whether it be to win us 
to Christ at first, or to make His people more like him, 
widowhood and orphanage become the lot awarded to 
many by Him who is Love. 



358 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



CHAPTEE XIV. 

THE HOME OF THE SINGLE. 

Eomans xvi. — Centres of Influence — Scenes of Female Effort — How are Unmarried 
Females often so Useful ? — The Secret of their Strength — And of their Happi- 
ness — Effects — Tact — Happiness — Examples. 

One of the most peculiar Chapters in the Bible is 
the last to the Eomans. The insight which it gives 
into early Christian life — the light which it sheds, in 
glimpses at least, upon the home-scenes of the first 
Christians — the depth of affection which it displays — 
the unity of aim, of action, and of spirit which it 
manifests, and the prominence which it gives to fe- 
male activity and zeal, all combine to render that 
portion of Scripture one of the fairest sights where 
all are green and goodly. He who would under- 
stand the spirit of apostolic life should often study 
it with care. 

It gives prominence, we say, to female exertion for 
Christ, and as there are many Homes where the single 
reside, and devote themselves to His cause, it may 
be well to glance for a moment at such abodes. 

They may be centres of influence for good such as 
only the religion of Jesus can produce, and it is not 
too much to say that from those homes where the 
Spirit of wisdom dwells, there emanates much of 
what is fitted to soothe man's sorrows, to restore 
happiness to the wretched, and promote Christ's 



HOME OF THE SINGLE. 



359 



glory upon earth. Single women often have a mis- 
sion of mercy such as is not intrusted to those who 
have the cares of a home to carry, or the duties of a 
home to discharge. It may be among relatives — it 
may be in the homes of the poor or the diseased — it 
may be in the prison, to clothe, and teach, and pray 
for — or the workhouse, to cheer — or the school-house, 
to instruct — or by the deathbed, to point to life ever- 
lasting. But wherever it is, in all the varied scenes 
of sorrow or of toil, an unmarried woman, if the 
Spirit of God be her teacher, has such means and 
such power of doing good as God has intrusted to no 
other class. 

Uor is this wonderful. The unmarried, if they be 
also the Spirit-taught, can leisurely cultivate the 
graces of the divine life, can, without distracting 
cares, give themselves calmly to work the work of 
God ; and hence there is probably not a minister, if 
he be zealously watching for souls, who would not 
confess how much he is indebted to the aid of this 
class. Rising by grace above all that is deemed irk- 
some or isolating in their solitary position, they often 
learn to spend and be spent in the work of doing 
good. Phoebe, " the servant of the Church," and 
"the succorer of the Church and of Paul;" "Mary, 
who bestowed much labor" on the apostles; Tryphena 
and Tryphosa, with others who will be held in ever- 
lasting remembrance, have still their sisters and suc- 
cessors in the churches ; and if sometimes a feeling 
of loneliness or insulation do creep over them, it is 
dispelled, we believe, or it may even be turned into 
gladness, by a more intense devotedness to the serv- 



360 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



ice and the glory of our Lord. He is with us always. 
There need, therefore, be no loneliness — at least, the 
lonely are as safely guarded as the prophet was by 
his chariots and horsemen of fire. Thus kept in safety, 
communion with God becomes the secret at once of 
their happiness and their efforts. 

~No need, then, for such devoted souls to flee to nun- 
neries for peace — they find it in the full, free service 
of their God. In feeding the hungry, in clothing the 
naked, in drawing out the soul to the poor, they have 
enough to make the heart and the home perennially 
happy. The tear of misery dried, the wanderer re- 
claimed, the fallen raised up, may surely impart a 
joy with which the world cannot intermeddle; and 
while the frivolous flutter life away in the pursuit ot 
shadows, delusions, follies, sin, those whom we now 
describe are walking in the footsteps of Him who 
went about doing good. With Dorcas, they make 
garments for the poor; with Priscilla, they are help- 
ing forward the cause of truth in its death-strife w T ith 
all that is false, and when God gives the means, they 
are as ready to distribute as to sympathize. Some of 
them at least know, that an idle day is worse than 
lost — it will meet us at the judgment demanding why 
we lost it ; and under that conviction they do good — 
it may be by stealth, yet resolutely. " Fearful of 
fame, unwilling to be known," they shrink from pub- 
lic notice, yet are they unwearied in their work of 
faith. Some are even self-sacrificing in that cause, 
and, rising above " self, that narrow, miserable 
sphere," welcoming the work which their Lord has 
in his holy providence allotted, they try to cheat 



HOME OF THE SIXGLE. 



361 



pain of its groans and grief of its tears, and by a 
blessing from on high, they often succeed. In a 
word, we look in vain for more devoted servants of 
Christ than may often be found in the homes of un- 
married females. 

And the tact of such workwomen is often not less 
remarkable than their zeal. There are no doubt silly 
women who yield to mere emotion and deem it prin- 
ciple — who give so unwisely, that their gifts are 
bounties on deception, or idleness, or vice. As there 
are some whose very charity savors of insult, or whose 
compassion is like smoke to the eyes or nitre to a 
wound, there are also some so lavish and unwise as to 
promote the very evils which they try to cure. But 
in other cases, a skill in detecting and a firmness in 
resisting imposture, as well as a tenderness in aid- 
ing, are acquired by experience, which lend a moral 
weight to all other actions. The family just sink- 
ing silently into want is helped with a delicacy 
which saves every feeling. The gentlewoman in 
decay is treated as a companion and a friend in 
the act of being relieved. The pale and dying 
mother is aided in a manner so feminine and kind- 
ly, that no poignancy is added to the coming pang 
of separation. And these are truly Christian sights 
— they help to reconcile us in some degree to sorrow, 
or if we still weep, the tears of gratitude are mingled 
with those of grief. 

"When we are wretched, where can we complain? 
And when the world looks cold and surly on us. 
Where can we go to meet a warmer eye 
With such sure confidence ....?" 

16 



362 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME, 



Now, in all this we are just telling how happy are 
the hearts and the homes of those single women who 
are thus employed. The position which they occupy, 
and the work which they do, approximate closely to 
the character of the redeemed, or the " zealous of good 
works;"* while by the grace of God, they are brought 
within the sweep of the beatitude, " Blessed are the 
merciful, for they shall obtain mercy." They corre- 
spond to the standard of the King and Judge, who 
says, "I was an hungered, and ye gave me meat: I 
was thirsty, and ye gave me drink : I was a stranger ? 
and ye took me in : naked, and ye clothed me : I 
was sick, and ye visited me : I was in prison, and ye 
came unto me."f 

EXAMPLES. 

It is not necessary to quote examples here. We 
have seen them in the New Testament. We find 
them in the companions of Mrs. Fry in Newgate. 
We meet with them in prison committees throughout 
Europe. In the darkest lane, in the poorest cellar or 
most aerial garret, such examples are found. We have 
seen such a devotee to good-doing brave the horrors 
of an infidel's death-bed, in an offensive den, and leave 
the wretched man only to pray for him, w T hen he 
could no longer hear the words, " Come unto me." 
Such scenes rebuke the shallow men who would per- 
suade us that the power of our religion is exhausted : 
it is fresh, it is cogent, it is ennobling still, were faith 
as simple as of old. Wherever the love of the Sav- 
iour reigns in a soul, its blessedness is sought where 

* Titus ii. 14. f Mat. xxv. 35, 3G. 



HOME OF THE SINGLE. 



363 



he sought his, and it is found in the abundant conso- 
lations which he often supplies — a reward, not for our 
works, but in them.* 

* See on the subject of this chapter Boardman's " Bible in the Fam- 
ily," Lect. v. 



364: 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



CHAPTEK XY. 

A HAPPY HOME. 

Goodness Essential to Happiness — Misery Synonymous with Sin — The Moral 
Structure of Home — The Will of God— The Lore of Jesus — Subordination- 
Home Unknown in some Lands — Eesults — Examples— Eey. Edward Bicker- 
steth — Mrs. Henry Tenn, 

The happiness of Home depends upon the good- 
ness of its members. Without that, all the gold of 
Ophir, or worldly prosperity till even ambition were 
sated, could not lead to blessedness. One sin turned 
our world into a blighted abode. The speedy effects 
were domestic recrimination, the death of one son, 
the banishment of another as a fratricide, and, no 
doubt, untold agony on the part of the parents. 
From that day to this, sin and misery have been more 
closely linked than twins. Every transgression has 
been a new germ of sorrow — nay, it was itself a woe 
— it involved pain, and that was punishment.* 

Nowhere are the fruits of transgression more copi- 
ously gathered than in a Home where the members 
are unholy. God has constituted Home just as he has 
constituted man — peace depends upon purity — the 
humblest or the youngest member there may agitate 

* The word Poena, punishment, gives rise to the word pain, and in 
the Hebrew a similar idiom is found. Man's deepest convictions aro 
confessed by the use of such terms. If pain be puni-slunent as nature 
views it, then how significant every ache, and pang, and tear 1 



A HAPPY HOME. 



365 



all by lawless conduct, so exquisitely delicate is the 
moral structure of Home. It may contain 

" The only bliss 
Of paradise that has survived the Fall." 

Or it may be all true that in a Home 

" All the charities 
Of father, son. and brother first were known" — 

but still, these blessings depend upon the holiness of 
Home ; and this may warrant some farther reference 
here to the component parts of Home happiness.** 

1. The will of God must be supreme. Let the di- 
yine order be reversed, that is, let man be supreme, 
and confusion is already paramount. On the other 
hand, let a father and a mother take the mind of God 
for theirs. Let their first question ever be, " "What 
hath God said?" and their instant resolution, "That 
shall be law in our household, for it is the law of 
love," — then all will be peaceful. Iso doubt, some 
member of that Home may decline such hallowing 
restraints, and in a family otherwise blessed such way- 
wardness may occasion grief. But even then, there 
is a peace which that waywardness cannot ruffle : it 
cannot rob the God-fearing of the Saviour whom they 
love ; and reposing upon him, they can perhaps cher- 
ish a gladdening hope even for the wayward. The 
light of their dwelling may enter it through stained 

* " Six things are requisite to create a happy Home. Integrity must 
be' the architect, and tidiness the upholsterer. It must be warmed by 
affection, and lighted up with cheerfulness, and industry must be the 
ventilator, renewing the atmosphere, and bringing in fresh salubrity 
day by day; whilst over all, as a protecting canopy and defending 
glory, nothing will suffice except the blessing of God." — " The Happy 
Home," by Dr. James Hamilton. 



366 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



glass, but it is tlie light of heaven still. Prayer is 
power ; goodness is power ; and though God will 
work no miracle even for these, the man who is up- 
held by God's arm will enjoy His peace. 

2. Not merely should the mind of God be supreme 
in our Homes — the love of Jesus nmst reign. With- 
out that, there may be a kind of sunshine, a kind of 
happiness in a household, as there may be the gleam 
of a meteor in the darkest sky, or as rich wines may 
grow upon the slopes of volcanic mountains ; but that 
happiness is one of the fading things of earth — it is 
at the mercy of every cloud of trial. It is when love 
links the soul to the Saviour — when parents love Him 
and when children are taught to do the same, that the 
blessedness of Home is rich, ample, satisfying. Par- 
ents and children are then travelling together to the 
house not made with hands ; and while they eat their 
bread with a merry heart, the veriest crust may be 
sweetened by a sense of the Elder Brother's love. 
Such Homes are the preserving salt of society, else 
hastening to corruption. At the feet of Christ old 
and young may gather happiness ; but till faith con- 

* duct them thither, their sweetest portion is only an 
apple of Sodom, or the grapes of Gomorrha. 

3. ]SText to these we rank subordination, for God is 
the God of order. Parents subordinate to Him, and 
children subordinate to parents, form the Divine 
gradations ; and to depart from these is to be un- 
happy. Let parenthood be dethroned, and self-willed 
ignorance suffered to control, and the happiness of 
that Home has perished. Let the love of vanity, or 
deference to the world, or alien interests of any kind 



A HAPPY HOME. 



'6<61 



interpose, and family dispeaee will instantly ensue — 
for to reverse God's plan is to make man unhappy. 
But like water welling up from some deep springhead, 
may be the blessedness of that homestead where all 
the members are in the place which God designs them 
to hold. 

Xo doubt, sin has blighted our world, but still 
there is a large residue of joy ; and though we would 
paint no fool's paradise, or present no fancy sketch, 
countless avenues are open for the enjoyment of 
blessedness by man. If God be our Father and 
heaven our destination, its windows will often be 
open to shed down a blessing, but amid this affluence 
of happiness, the serenest of all will be found in a 
Christian Home. There a peace from on high de- 
scends. There the wicked mav cease from troubling, 
and the weary be at rest. All that is needed to make 
it so, is to place God upon the throne — to let the 
Saviour's love constrain, and the order which our 
Father appoints, be observed. It is never to be 
doubted that there are such Homes — many of them 
— possessing attractions which no art can augment, 
nor aught else in nature match. 

"By the gathering round the winter hearth, 
Wlien twilight called unto household mirth, 
By the fairy tale, or the legend old, 
In that ring of happy faces told, 
By the quiet hour when hearts unite 
In the parting prayer, and the kind good-night, 
By the smiling eye. and the loving tone. 
Over thy life has a spell been thrown/' 

and the unselfish act, the kindly greetings, the sym- 
pathies and charities which circulate there, tell us 



368 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



what earth would have been had men continued sin- 
less, and what heaven will be when men are sinless 
once more. 

But, by contrast, all this becomes clearer when we 
repeat that there are whole nations where Home and 
its happiness are unknown. Superstition has soured 
men's sympathies ; and in many a place it sets wife 
against husband, son against father, and daughter 
against mother, so that the very idea of Home is 
lost. Instead of family subordination, there is family 
turmoil; and God's ordinance outraged ever renders 
man's unhappiness intense. In the train of all this, 
profligacy has come to wither all that remained of 
Home felicity ; and there is truth in the verdict, that 
the contempt in which domestic pleasures are held 
by many, is a proof of prevailing ignorance of true 
enjoyment. That argues a defect in taste and judg- 
ment as well as morals ; for the voice of the experienced 
has in all ages declared that the truest happiness is to 
be found at Home.* Lord Byron early learned to 
sneer at such happiness ; and we know what his 
portion was. A thousand besides him have done the 
same, and discovered, when all too late, that the man 
who makes Home a wilderness, rifles the tree of life 
of its fruit. It is strong language, but the undercur- 
rent is true : — " Were fathers and mothers, husbands 
and wives, sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, 
mutually loved and loving as they might and ought 
to be, we need not wait for another world to find our 
heaven : we would find it here. Each little family 
might or would be such a heaven, an earthly and a 

* See Knox's " Essays." 



A HAPPY HOME. 



369 



perpetual preparative for that ultimate abode which 
is the grand archetype of all that is blessed here, and 
which is presented in Holy Writ under this very 
image — that of a 'Father's House.' "* 

EXAMPLES. 

We cannot restore paradise to man, then, but God 
can replace him in another Eden, and the nearest ap- 
proach to that on earth is Home. 

To exemplify its blessedness, it might suffice to 
advert again to the picture which Burns has drawn in 
the " Cottar's Saturday Night but we turn from 
that to contemplate a similar blessedness in a differ- 
ent sphere. Visitors to the Rectory of Watton, when 
Edward Bickersteth was its occupant, have spoken of 
the teeming happiness of that Home. All seemed to 
be so pervaded by the will of God that a very perfect 
peace prevailed. Worship was the joy at once of 
parent and of child, while the spirit of love reigned 
paramount. And they who thus honored God were 
honored by Him — He made each soul there double- 
handed against evil, and ere that father was sum- 
moned away to his rest and his reward, he could cherish 
the hope that all his children were reconciled to God 
— renewed, pardoned, happy— he died full of the con- 
viction that they would all meet as a family in heaven 
forever. jSTow, that was surely a happy Home ; and, 
compared with that, what are the hollow felicities 
which mere wealth provides for the guilty? We 
might place such a soul "in- a palace. We might 

* See " Happiness, its Elements and Means, Simple and Common," by 
Rev. John Purves. 
16* 



370 



LAWS AXD MAXIMS OF HOME. 



promote it to tread ancle-deep on obsequious carpets. 
We might bid Araby breathe over it, and Golconda 
glitter around it. We might encircle it with clouds 
of hovering satellites, and put upon its head the wish- 
ing-cap of wealth. But if we have not taken the 
barb from its memory, or the festered wound from 
the spirit, the pale foreboding, the frequent gloom, 
the startled slumber, will pronounce these splendors 
mockery, and all this luxury a glittering lie."" It is 
the blended fear and love of God that render Home 
happy. 

And that was another happy Home where the chil- 
dren were taught that "the poorest parish girl who 
loved the Lord Jesus is a right honorable person, 
while the son of a king who neglects him is of a base 
spirit and in the meanest condition." That was a 
happy Home where the husband could say of the 
wife, "A perfect similarity of sentiment on subjects 
of highest moment prevailed. It continued here till 
her removal to glory, and will endure to all eternity 
in heaven." That was a happy Home where religion, 
" instead of being worn on a Sunday, or confined to 
the closet, was the constant enlivening subject of 
discourse each day" — and whose inmates understood 
that the people of God are " not merely an army 
with banners in the field of battle, but are garrisoned 
in a strong city, having salvation for walls and bul- 
warks." That was a happy Home in which the con- 
viction reigned, that "not one of the sheep of Christ 
could perish, for the promise and the oath of Jehovah 
stood engaged to preserve them unto the end" — 

*Dr. Hamilton's "Happy Home." 



A HAPPY HOME. 



371 



where the conflict with sin was daily carried on in 
a Saviour's strength, and where tribulations which 
brought the body to the grave only brightened the 
soul for glory, as burnishing brightens steel. 

Now, all these were realized in the Home of Henry 
Yenn,* and w T hat is needed indefinitely to multiply 
such families of the happy 1 Only this — Let the will 
of God be supreme : let the love of Jesus reign : let 
the Divine order of subordination be maintained, and 
God will there u supply all our need according to His 
riches in glory by Christ Jesus." 

* See 44 An Account of Mrs. Henry Yenn," by her Husband. 



372 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



CHAPTER XYI. 

AN UNHAPPY HOME. 

Sorrow in our Streets— The Cause — A Picture of Squalor — Success for a Season- 
Accumulated Woe — Modifications — A Yictim — Examples — A Prayerless Fa- 
ther — A Drunkard's Eequest. 

We witness many a trying scene in the streets of a 
crowded city. It is winter, and there is a group of 
children shivering amid the frost : every muscle and 
fibre in their frame is an inlet for pain. A little far- 
ther, and one meets a son hastening with a rude 
coffin, which he has perhaps begged at the workhouse, 
for the burial of his mother. A little farther still, 
and a funeral approaches, where the mourners are so 
poor that they follow their father or their friend to 
the graveyard in the garments which they wore an 
hour ago at their toil by the wayside. In the next 
street, we perhaps encounter a mother, with an 
emaciated infant, hurrying to purchase, or solicit 
from charity, the drug to which she still fondly looks 
for life. A little farther still, you may meet — the 
saddest sight of them all — a drunken mother reeling 
homeward, if she can find the way, with head-gear all 
dishevelled and awry, a countenance bloated by vice 
or distorted by passion, and a feeble child swinging 
to and fro in her arms, like a withered leaf just ready 
to drop from its parent tree. These, and a thousand 
more, are sights which must either distress or harden 



AN UNHAPPY HOME. 



373 



the onlooker. It is a sad alternative, but is not the 
latter the more common result ? 

Now, some of these sights were occasioned by un- 
happy homes. It was dispeace there that originated 
at least a portion of that obtruded misery, and in that 
connection let us glance at an unhappy home. 

Its interior is offensive at first sight. Physical un- 
cleanness typifies the moral condition. There is no 
fear of God. There is no worship, but blasphemy is 
rife. There is no subordination, but there is rebellion 
in provoking words and in outrageous deeds. As 
fagots piled together and ignited, mutually help com- 
bustion, the untamed souls in such abodes are the 
plagues of each other. The father is perhaps a drunk- 
ard, and is seeking refuge from his oppression, the 
mother has become the same. The children, inured 
to all the sights and sounds of iniquity at home, soon 
become impostors abroad, and if their impositions do 
not succeed, only the scowl and the curse of their 
parents await them. When Sardanapalus of old saw 
that he must die, his proud though effeminate heart 
recoiled from the thought of meeting death from the 
hand of an enemy. He therefore erected a funeral 
pile within his palace : he mounted it, together with 
his household, and there they perished, a holocaust to 
pride. Now what else is a godless parent doing for 
his children ? Is it not true that " they are far from 
safety, that they are crushed in the gate, neither is 
there any to deliver them ?"* Housed in an ivory 
palace, or robed in cloth of gold, they could not be 
happy. 

* Job v. 4. 



37i 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



There are, no doubt, families of this class where 
children are trained as the sons of Belial, and who 
get success for a season — they seem even to flourish 
like a green bay-tree. Some have grown rich by 
plunder, and their case has suggested the question, 
" Is there a God that judgeth in the earth ?" But the 
answer is. % * God seeth that their day is coming.*' 
Their sin finds them out. and sin and misery, we re- 
peat, are in such a case but synonymes. Amid the 
sultry hours of summer, the body often feels uneasy, 
and we scarcely know the cause. The air is loaded 
with some influence which makes life uncomfortable, 
and we pant, or we complain, without being able to 
assign a reason. At length, a thunder peal is heard, 
and now the mystery is read. The atmosphere was 
charged with what some nervous natures cannot en- 
dure, and there is an analogy to this in the moral 
world. Like pent-up thunder, woe comes at last upon 
the guilty, and the crash is often terrific. But a liv- 
ing philanthropist has stated this case so graphically 
and so well, that his words should be repeated. 

Speaking in defence of the Sabbath, he says, " Sup- 
pose that an unbroken seven-days' week of toil goes 
round and round unceasingly. TThat becomes of 
cleanliness and order in the house and household of 
the working-man ? All soon gets into confusion ; in- 
stead of comfort, there is chaos ; nothing has a place, 
and nothing is in its place — save dirt, and that is 
everywhere. The furniture, knowing no rest, wears 
out prematurely, like its master ; work is always be- 
hind, for the hand, however busy, can seldom reach 
the right thing, in the right place, at the right time ; 



AN rXHAPPY HOME. 



375 



and in the midst of arrears and disarray, the wearied 
wife at length sits down, desperately content with a 
domestic litter scarce more inviting than the dunghill 
that is reeking at her door. "With disorder comes 
sloth and slatternliness; with dirt comes disease. In 
the nnswept and unwashed nooks, the fruitful seeds of 
pest and fever are putting forth their germs, and chil- 
dren sicken and die. Mayhap they are but little 
mourned. For the father, late at nightly work, sel- 
dom sees his child ; the child scarce knows his father, 
the domestic affections and ties are all but unfelt ; and 
in their, stead grow selfishness, hatred, and discontent. 
Recriminations become bitter and constant ; and the 
hard word is soon followed by the harder blow. Bod- 
ies are wasting — souls are withering. Drink brings 
false refreshment to the one, with a falser comfort to 
the other. The downward course is now fierce and 
fearful. The home becomes a hovel : the household, 
waifs — drunkards — beggars — dead !" 

But there are modifications of this. One member 
of such a family may be of " another spirit." It is a 
wife united to a husband who, in other days, prom- 
ised better things, but is now rushing upon self-ruin, 
incensed because he cannot drag her along with him 
to the same excess of riot. How she suffers ! How 
she cowers before the unmanly tyrant ! How her 
weeping eye appeals, but all in vain ! The taunt, the 
curse, the blow, are the gradations of a wretchedness 
which is nearly complete. Now, is that a Home ? 
Tes, but it is the home of one who has taken seven 
unclean spirits into his soul, and who is goaded to 
fury because all are not so profane or so profligate as 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



he is — "He that troubleth his own house shall inherit 
the wind," is the divine verdict upon such a man, 
while his victim may wail forth the prayer — 

4i Pour on my aching thoughts the heavenly balm 
Of Thy peace-giving comfort, and the more 
The ties of man's affections show themselves 
Time-worn and fragile, and the more the joys 
And trusts of this life vanish from my path, 
Grant my best thoughts and wishes may be turned 
To Thy eternal promises and love." 

We need not describe minor cases, after having 
pointed to the fountain of all. Where a father or a 
mother dare not rebuke iniquity for fear of the de- 
served retort, " Physician, heal thyself" — where there 
is no tie but such as unites hyaenas in their den — or 
no aim but who shall tyrannize the most — what can 
result but wretchedness ? Yet there is one modifica- 
tion more to which we must advert. There are homes 
where affluence spreads out its attractions, and where 
the courtesies of life prevail. There is kindliness in 
intercourse, there are considerate efforts to please. 
There is the hand of benevolence held out, while all 
around seems unruffled, and yet it is certain that such 
a home must be unhappy, if God be not honored 
there, if His Word be unread, His salvation unsought. 
There may be the absence of the gross or the offen- 
sive, but there is the presence of utter ungodliness 
notwithstanding, and that makes misery sure. We 
see many sad spectacles on earth — man wasting inch 
by inch into the grave — widows agonized by the cry 
of their orphans for bread when there is no bread to 
give them — feeble fingers making their own grave- 
clothes — or godly parents weeping for the moral death 



AN UNHAPPY HOME. 



377 



of children. But one of the saddest sights of all, is a 
Home where God is on system forgotten, or ignored. 
It is like quenching the sunshine, or poisoning the 
wells from which hundreds must draw and drink. 

EXAMPLES. 

The records of public crime might supply copious 
illustrations here, but we prefer a private example. 
A father and a mother live in a humble yet decent 
worldly sphere. They have a family growing up 
around them, and there is no pressing want in the 
household, for the income is a competency, and a lit- 
tle more. Yet that abode is sometimes like the home 
of one possessed. The father was never heard to pray 
nor to ask the Great Giver to bless a repast. He ate 
his food in speechless sullenness — sometimes without 
uttering a syllable from the moment of his entering 
till he withdrew. The children of that father dread- 
ed him, and their mother not seldom intensified their 
fears as an unwise relief to her own deep sorrow. 
There was no fear of God in that abode, and as far as 
either Scripture or experience can guide us, its in- 
mates were unhappy whenever they were at home. 
The family disappeared at last from its place ; but if 
the sovereign grace of God did not interpose, its 
members were trained for a terrible heritage. It is 
sad to see parents weep over the moral ruin of chil- 
dren ; but that woe has a counterpart not less pain- 
ful, when children are made wretched by the vices of 
their parents. While the great fallen angel was in 
his place of torment he was harmless ; but when he 
was allowed to enter Eden, for purposes then deeply 



378 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



wrapped in mystery, but gradually unfolded since, 
his hellish power gave the globe a shock ; and, in like 
manner, such crime as has been glanced at, when 
seen in the sacred enclosure of Home, corrupts so- 
ciety at the root and to the core. 

But parental ungodliness appears in other forms. 
A father staggering under the effects of strong drink 
applied to a minister of religion for the baptism of his 
child. The request was startling, and an appeal was 
made to the squalid man as to the contradiction be- 
tween his conduct and his wish. He confessed the 
truth of the appeal, but added, that though he might 
be ruining his own soul, he did not wish to lose his 
child's. He looked upon baptism with the eyes of 
ignorance or superstition, and regarded it as a spell 
which could save ; but blind as the answer and his 
whole deportment showed that father to be, his ex- 
ample farther proves that there might still be some 
spot in the man where truth might plant its foot at 
last, and stand till it had reclaimed the sinner to the 
obedience of the just. How blessed to hope, then, 
that Grace can rescue even such a blinded soul and 
guide It to a Home on the bosom of our God ! In the 
British Museum there stood, in a prominent position, 
an antique vase of exquisite beauty ; it had been ad- 
mired perhaps by millions ; but a maniac shivered it 
to fragments by a blow. And one of the minsters of 
England claimed pre-eminence over nearly all the rest 
by its rich tracery and its massive grandeur, but an- 
other maniac gave it to the flames. But both the 
vase and the minster were speedily restored, and the 
Great Artificer is not behind his creatures in refitting 



AX UNHAPPY HOME. 



379 



or remaking the work of His hands. Man's primitive 
beaut j may have gone up like rottenness ; but God 
can bring back the beauty of holiness, even till the 
lost shall shine as the stars. 



380 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



CHAPTER XVII. 

THE TRIALS OF HOME. 

The First Death— The Mystery— Its Solution— A Thorn in the Nest— The Worst 
Form of Woe — David and Absalom — Examples — '•''Sorrowing yet alway Re- 
joicing" — Lady Her Son's Execution. 

When the first death happens in a Home, it speaks 
with a voice which scarce] y any other form of tribu- 
lation can equal. We read of wars, and battles, and 
thousands slain, but even these are far-off echoes to 
most, compared with our own first death. That blow 
falls upon the very heart, and though faith may enable 
even a mother to close the dying eye of her little one, 
and smile through her tears, exclaiming — 
" My Saviour, I do this for Thee ;" 

yet nature may be wrung with anguish, even while 
grace enables the tried one to triumph. 

And the pang is often rendered more acute, or the 
stroke more severe, by the inscrutable mystery of a 
little infant's death. Why these terrible convulsions ? 
Why that low wail — that bleat, far worse for the 
parent to bear than a blow ? Why that little frame 
pining slowly away, while skill is baffled in its at- 
tempts to discover the cause ? Why is every breath 
a sigh or a moan, till even a mother sometimes flees 
from the sight and the sound, and feels that it would 
be a relief could her little sufferer die ? And when 
all is over — when the little one is coffined, and the 



TRIALS OF HOME. 



381 



marble dust is about to be borne to the tomb, why 
that death at all ? That little hand never did sin ; 
that little heart never thought sin ; and why, then, 
this living only to die — this infant shroud, that infant 
coffin and grave? Have my sins, a parent may ask, 
brought down this woe ? Is this the iniquity of the 
fathers visited on the children ? 

Of this, at least, we are sure, " death passes upon 
all, for that all have sinned." " In Adam all die." 
Thus God shows the mystery, and bids us, when we 
cannot understand, be silent and adore. What we 
know not now, we shall know hereafter ; and though 
our rifled homes may cause the heart to ache, yet if 
such bereavements urge the parents more sedulously 
to prepare for glory, the present tribulation will 
deepen and prolong the future hosannas of the tried. 

And nature may symbolically teach us the same 
lesson. When we enter a mist-cloud as it drifts or 
hovers along the mountain-side which we are climb- 
ing, it sometimes dissolves around us so that the sun- 
shine becomes undimmed. In like manner, if not here, 
at least hereafter, all the mist-clouds will clear away 
from before the parent who believes. Concerning 
his children torn from his embrace to the tomb, he 
may learn to say — 

" For us they sicken and for us they die." 

Meanwhile, could parents remember that they are en- 
countering their cares, and weeping their tears, and 
bearing their cross, and seeing their hopes deferred 
to-day, or blighted to-morrow, while attempting to 
train their children for God, they would be stimulated 
to persevere, and not " faint in their minds." 



382 



LAWS Aim MAXIMS OF HOME. 



But there is one form of grief more intense than 
even this. The trials which, crowd our Homes are 
numerous, and no doubt, one of the reasons may 
be that some would make their home their heaven. 
Their affections centre there ; and their family is the 
Alpha and Omega of their exertions, their joys, and 
their hopes. Now to prevent such idolatry, a thorn 
is often placed in the nest, and men find labor and 
sorrow where they expected only sunshine and smiles. 
There may be poverty, and that is bitter, or some dis- 
aster may threaten to strip our homes bare, but it is 
when trials assume the character of retributions that 
they convulse a household the most. It was hard for 
David to know that Absalom was no more ; and that 
he perished a rebel against his king and father, made 
the pang more poignant still. But if that father as- 
sociated that death with his own home misdeeds, his 
sorrow would be the acutest that man is doomed to 
feel. His touching wail, his characteristic Oriental 
outcry over his lost son, thus acquires a deeper mean- 
ing than before. " Would God I had died for thee,'' 
becomes not merely pathetic but profound. 

And that is the climax of all anguish — to see an ob- 
ject of affection go down, we fear, to a darker home 
than the grave. . It is sad for a widowed one to see 
the delight of her eyes, the husband of her youth, 
snatched away by death. It is agony to an affection- 
ate family to see the mother who bore them, and bore 
with them, who nursed, fondled, trained, and prayed 
for them, carried to the narrow house. But a moral 
death causes a deeper wound — a more remediless sor- 
row, and nothing but Omnipotent grace can carry a 



TRIALS OF HOME. 



383 



sufferer through such a grief. While he drinks " the 
wine of astonishment,' 3 his solace may be — " It is the 
Lord," and " the Judge of all the earth will do right," 
But if the mourner find cause for self-accusation in 
connection with his grief, his sorrow culminates there, 
and amid such sadness the nightfall of life may often 
find us weeping over the errors of its morning. If, 
on the other hand, our sorrows come directly from 
another, our solace is more easily found. It will then 
be the believer's endeavor to be silent where he can- 
not understand ; and while he prays for repentance to 
the wanderer, he himself w T ill forgive, remembering 
that he is what he is only by the grace of God, 

EXAMPLES. 

We have oftener than once seen two little children 
carried from the same home, at the same sad hour, 
and laid side by side in the same cold grave. We 
have known three little coffins brought to the same 
abode at one time, each to receive a little body, till 
the great resurrection should summon them back to 
life. These were surely sharp thorns in the nest, and 
as surely the mourning parents needed the Son of 
God to fill up such dreary blanks in their heart. 

But there is one " Narrative of Successive Bereave- 
ments" more touching still. In a sequestered High- 
land manse, seven joyous children had their happy 
home. They were brought up in the nurture of the 
Lord, and as mind opened after mind, the knowledge 
of Jesus and his truth was taught. But that could 
not shield the young inmates of that abode from 
death. First one disease, and then another was sent 



384 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



by Him whom all things obey — and first one child, 
then another, then a third, and then a fourth sickened, 
withered, died. Scarcely had one little sufferer been 
laid in the grave when another was seized. The 
youngest, the oldest, and two between, were thus 
taken away, amid the tears and the anguish, but also 
the prayers and the faith of the parents. 

And there were bright gleams amid that gloom. 
The hearts of the little sufferers were touched by the 
grace of God. Jesus was signally precious; and 
though they who loved them well could not but mourn 
for the sore agony, and the early departure of their 
little ones, yet amid their sorrows they could also re- 
joice. The spiritual life which they beheld in their 
children, the outshootings of faith, of love, of humil- 
ity, and repentance bade those parents kiss the rod : 
they did it, and saw glimpses of glory shedding hope, 
like the rainbow brightening the storm. Child after 
child opened up the mind to the love of Christ, as lit- 
tle flowers open to the rising sun, and those lilies 
gathered are now forever beyond all danger of fading. 
Such things are scarcely deaths, at least to faith. 
They are but removing to the Home where the weary 
are at rest, and become blessings to the tried when 
the prayer, at once sublime and lowly, is offered — 

" 1 Thy will be done,' God of the desolate ! 
Teach me with heart resigned and calm to say, 
'Thy will be done.'" 

But there are sadder trials sent to some homes than 
even four deaths in six brief weeks. " Think of Lady 

," wrote the Eev. Thomas Scott to a disconsolate 

parent — " her eldest son executed as a murderer, a 



TRIALS OF HOME. 



385 



hardened wretch till the last hour — the only hope 
this, that in his rage in casting himself off, the rope 
broke and he lived till another was fetched, perhaps 
ten minutes, and seemed during that time softened, 
and earnestly crying for mercy. Yet I never heard 
from her lips a murmuring word." .... These are, 
indeed, the trials of Home ; and when grace enables 
the soul to triumph, or at least to endure, we have 
there one of the most vivid displays of its power that 
earth can ever witness. 
17 



386 



LAWS AXD MAXIMS OF HOME. 



CHAPTEE XVm. 

THE ECONOMY OF HOME. 

God's View of Man's Possessions — Man's Own View — Maxims, in Home Economy 
—1. Make all you Can — 2. Save all you Can — 3. Give all you Can. — The 
Great Giver — All Things Give — Examples — Colonel Mack — John Gaspar La- 
vater. 

Tested by the Word of God, man's conduct soon 
displays his wide revolt from the King of - kings. 
Take the single subject of money, or property, or 
what we call our own, and what is the mind of the 
Great Proprietor on the subject? It is briefly this, 
" Occupy till I come;" or, " The earth is the Lord's, 
and the fulness thereof;" or, "What have we that 
we have not received ;" or, " The silver is mine ; the 
gold also is mine, saith the Lord." In spirit, and in all 
the fulness of their meaning, these clauses of God's 
Word assign all to Him, as His property, His by 
right of creation, His absolutely and without challenge 
forever. 

But next, what is the mind of man upon this sub- 
ject % He forgets that he is a steward, and claims 
the position of a proprietor. He overlooks the rights 
of God, and acts as if the creature might dispose of 
himself and all that he holds without consulting the 
sovereign Lord of all. Perhaps there are millions in 
this land who never, in a single instance, consulted 
the will of God according to His Word, in using 
what He has lent to them. 



ECONOMY OF HOME. 



387 



This, then, should become an object of concern n 
every home which professes to be Christian, Woulc 1 
we train up children to be faithful stewards — to feel 
their responsibility, and act for the Sovereign of all ? 
Then a scriptural economy should pervade our homes. 
An habitual reference to God's righteous claims 
should be made, and the three following maxims, in 
the hands of Christian parents, may help to guide us 
in this matter.* 

L — Make all you can. II. — Save all you can. 
III. — Give all you can. 

1. Make all you cax. — That insures industry, and 
of all our books, the Bible is one of the most urgent 
in pressing an earnest activity upon us. According to 
it, if any man will not work he is not to eat. The 
slothful are turned into a proverb, and the sluggard 
is sent to a puny insect for a model or a reproof. 
Every house, then, should be active as a bee-hive. 
Man should ever be diligent in business, fervent in 
spirit, serving the Lord ; and even those who are so 
rich that they need not toil, may just the more easily 
learn to imitate Him who went about doing good. 
Superstition may seek its excellence in a cloister, or 
think that it has subdued the world when it has only 
fled from it. But God's holy truth consecrates indus- 
try, and presses us to be diligent, for " the hand of 
the diligent maketh rich." 

But, 2. Save all you can. — Earn, but not to squan- 
der. Work and win, but not that you may glory in 
profusion, or employ wealth to pamper vanity. Learn 

* See Wesley's Sermon " On the use of Money." 



888 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



to say, and accustom your children to say, " I can do 
without it ;" and the money thus saved may surprise 
you by its increase ; it may seem to possess some 
magnetic or attractive power, Guineas have been 
called gregarious ; and one man, at least, who began 
life with a penny for his portion, ended in having 
thousands upon thousands for his yearly income, 
while his annual givings were about two thousand 
pounds, It was one of his stated maxims to save all 
he could, and never to waste even the worthless things 
which many tread in the dust ; and were parents wise- 
ly to inculcate the maxim, Save all you can, Home 
might far more frequently become both more happy, 
and more fertile in wholesome influences upon al] 
around it. 

But, 3. Were we to pause at this point, these direc- 
tions would seem only rules for making misers. To 
be-constantly toiling to gain, and constantly watching 
how to save, might train us to be grovelling earth- 
worms, and nothing more. The third maxim, which 
is the keystone of the arch, should therefore be prom- 
inently urged. Give all you can is a golden rule ; 
and were it obeyed in a right spirit, it would make 
man truly godlike. Give to the poor, give to spread 
the truth of God, give to dissipate the darkness or 
soothe the sorrows of man ; give as God gives ability, 
and in doing so, grow more like God himself. For 
what is God ever doing in his world ? He is con- 
stantly giving, and has created every thing to give. 
The sun and the moon give light. The earth pours 
abundance into the lap of man. Autumn gives its 
overflowing plenty. The lower animals give us cloth- 



ECONOMY OF HOME. 389 

ing, and add their fleetness, their strength, their very 
life. All, all are ceaselessly giving, for their Maker 
has stamped his own bountiful nature upon them, 
making them his ministers to supply the wants of 
every living thing. Like a perennial fountain, cast- 
ing forth its copious waters, all Nature is thus scat- 
tering abroad the munificence of our God. 

Now, should our homes not be places where men 
are taught to do as God does ? Shall man make 
money, or save money, only to hoard it — to pamper 
self, or smooth the road to ruin ? Nay, but in as far 
as we have been taught by heavenly wisdom, our 
homes will be ruled by the Sovereign Will. Who 
gave His Son to die for us ? Who loved us and gave 
himself for us ? Who gave His own peace to His 
people ? Who gave us everlasting life ? God our 
Saviour ; and, as his disciples, we are to draw down 
his blessings upon our families, by acting in his spirit, 
and responding to his love. The greatest giver thus 
becomes the most godlike man, and it is soon made 
manifest that one large element in the happiness of 
home is to cherish a bountiful spirit, that the widowed 
and the fatherless may rejoice. 

EXAMPLES. 

If we really wish to practise the divine art of giv- 
ing, the following examples may both guide and en- 
courage us : 

Colonel Mack, an American, had learned that art, 
and assiduously impressed it upon others. By activ- 
ity and enterprise he rose to great affluence — that is, 
he made all he could. But did he use it to encourage 



390 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



pride or ostentation in his home ? or did he act like 
the fool in Scripture, who spoke only of his goods, 
and his fruits, and his barns, forgetting that they 
were all another's ? Nay, he first trained his children 
in the fear of God. He next habituated them to ac- 
tive industry. Then he educated them thoroughly 
according to their sphere in life ; and next, he gave 
each enough for commencing life with fair prospects 
of success, if principle presided over their conduct — 
such principle as had been inculcated under their 
father's roof. 

But side by side with all this, Colonel Mack gave 
all he could, and his benefactions were counted by 
thousands of pounds. Here a little and there a little, 
as he saw the poor or the struggling requiring help, 
was one of his maxims ; while every measure which 
tended to promote God's glory found his hand open ? 
because his heart was open first. He was a life-mem- 
ber of twelve benevolent societies ; and in educating 
poor but deserving youths, in disseminating Christian 
books, in upholding God's truth, and spreading the 
Redeemer's glory, he was at once liberal and unwea- 
ried. It was said of him when he died, " Not a pound, 
no, not a penny was found hid in the earth or laid up 
in a napkin." He had literally given all he could ; 
and were the spirit of this steward common, the 
future of the world would look brighter than it does. 
Mack died the death of the righteous ; and when he 
went up to his rest, confessing as he did, that he was 
just " a sinner saved by grace," he left behind him a 
very model of life. Not merely while here, but since 
his going hence, the example of that godlike man 



ECONOMY OF HOXLE. 



391 



has served both as a warning and a stimulant to 
many. 

Farther : John Gaspar Lavater was not merely an 
ingenious physiognomist, but. moreover, a devout and 
simple-minded Christian. At his family devotions, 
on a certain occasion, he had expatiated upon giving, 
and chose as his text for the day, " Give to him that 
asketh ; and from him that would borrow of thee, turn 
not thou away/' And one did ask that day from 
Lavater, but he did not give. The suppliant for aid 
offered an heir-loom volume in pledge, if the needed 
aid were advanced ; but still it was declined under 
various pretexts. 

But while he was parrying the request, one of La- 
vater's household, who not merely heard the text of 
the day commended, but tried to obey it, overheard 
the entreaty, and pressed the application. Some of 
her trinkets were at once surrendered to meet the 
emergency, and the teacher was thus compelled to be- 
come the scholar. He was shamed out of his pre- 
texts, and wrote that evening in his diary, " I felt 
convinced that there is no peace except where princi- 
ple and practice are in perfect accordance. How 
peacefully and happily I might have ended this day, 
had I acted conscientiously up to the blessed doctrines 
which I profess ! Dear Saviour, teach me to employ 
what thou hast committed to my charge to thy glory, 
a brother's welfare, and my own salvation." 

Such, then, is a glimpse of the economy of Home. 
It is thus that extravagance is checked, and the mam- 
mon of unrighteousness made our friend. Blessed is 
the man who has discovered that he is a steward, not 



392 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



a proprietor, and who trains his children to remember 
that it is more blessed to give than to receive ! How 
rare is that conviction, yet how gladdening when it 
reigns in a heart or in a home ! Were such home 
economy habitually taught to the young, the churches 
would be less encumbered than they are, by those 
whose practice, in regard to riches, too often belies 
their profession. 



MAXIMS FOR HOME. 



393 



CHAPTER XIX. 

MAXIMS FOR HOME. 

The Bird's Nest— The Bible— God's care for little things— Maxims— 1. Let God be 
ever first — 2 Not a moment to spare — 8. Remember the power of littles — 1 I 
will try — 5, Never be Idle — 6, Be Happy and make Happy — 7. Attend to 
M Minor Morals'* — 8. Never say, We must do as others do. 

One of the most wonderful traits, in the most won- 
derful of all books, is the passage which says, " If a 
bird's nest chance to be before thee in the way, in 
any tree, or on the ground, whether they be young 
ones or eggs, and the dam sitting upon the young or 
upon the eggs, thou shalt not take the dam with the 
young, but thou shalt in any wise let the dam go, and 
take the young to thee, that it may be well with thee, 
and that thou mayest prolong thy days."" It is thus 
that the all-bountiful God takes care even of a little 
bird ; nay, it is thus that He perils man's welfare 
upon his regard for a thing so insignificant. The 
Book which contains such lessons is one in which 
all extremes meet — the human and the divine, the 
microscopic and the infinite, the transient and the 
eternal. 

And just as the God of the Bible does not refuse 
to legislate for little things, a wise householder will 
try to learn a lesson from such mercy. While all the 
weightier matters of duty are attended to, the more 

* Deut. xxii 67. 

17* 



394 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



minute will not be neglected by any well-wisher to 
Home; and to promote its happiness, some maxims 
are submitted, embracing at once the greatest and the 
least of duties. 

And, I. Let God be ever first. — This is the se- 
cret of all home happiness ; it is the basis of all that 
is right, whether it relate to God or to man, and a 
few examples may show the importance of this 
maxim. 

My neighbors, one may say, have adopted a style 
of life which I am tempted to imitate, though it is 
extravagant and foolish. The answer to that tempta- 
tion is, "Whether is it your neighbor or your God that 
should guide you ? "Whose verdict stands first and 
highest ? 

My children will feel restrained and unhappy, an- 
other says, if I rule and mould my home according 
to God's simple word, and I am therefore tempted to 
relax a little. Then say, is it not your children in- 
stead of God that you put first ? 

My business will suffer, and my home must be 
humbler, suggests a third, if I adopt all the maxims 
which the Holy One prescribes, and I think it possi- 
ble to modify a little so as to retain my business, and 
still be right at heart. Then manifestly that man's 
business, and not his Bible or his God, is put first. 

Again, It is painful to be singular. Why be right- 
eous overmuch ? Religion is surely not so unbending 
as some suppose. Such is the sophistry of some men 
and to what does it amount ? It means that the ap- 
pointments of God may be superseded, and man's 
likings preferred to Jehovah's revelations. 



MAXIMS FOR HOME. 



395 



But in truth, where such things appear, that family 
is most probably already drifting upon ruin, like an 
abandoned ship. God is the Alpha and the Omega 
of the Christian's heart, the Christian's home and 
life. Whatever he does, in word or deed, he does all 
in the name of the Lord Jesus. 

II. Xever have a Moment to Spare. — This maxim 
has acquired the currency of a proverb in our hard- 
driving age. Every thing is done in breathless haste, 
and most men appear as if they individually felt that 
some mighty destinies are suspended upon their move- 
ments. They run to and fro. They make haste to be 
rich. "The flurry fever" has seized upon our mil- 
lions, and they are constantly on the wing, be it in 
the crowded mart or in the solitary place. 

Yet this maxim, soberly viewed and wisely applied, 
may become a valuable auxiliary in guiding a home. 
It is right that whatever we do. we should do it with 
all our might, and time redeemed is good accomplish- 
ed. True, the maxim in the lips of many means, I 
have not a minute to spare for the things of eternity, 
for serving God, for attending to my soul, for deeds 
of charity, for the one thing needful — all these must 
wait till other points are adjusted. But when that 
spirit prevails in a home, its inmates are in the broad 
road : it will be a time of terror when they must 
spare their minutes to die. Children thus reared in 
youth will most probably be found steeped in world- 
liness when the head is hoary. But is this maxim 
earnestly applied to the good, the holy, and the true ? 
Then it means. I have not a minute to spare in folly, 
nor in fighting against God. nor in what would en- 



396 



LAWS AXD MAXDIS OF HO^IE. 



danger either my own soul or the souls of others. 
" Spare moments are the gold-dust of existence/' 
Time is eternity in the bud, and if I waste the one, I 
destroy myself in the other. Every parent whom 
God makes wise will mould his home upon maxims 
like these. Remembering John Wesley's words, 
" Always in haste, but never in a hurry,' ' he will try 
to add to the years of his children by training them 
to husband each hour as it passes, 

Take care of your minutes is but another form of 
the same maxim. Half the years of some men run 
to waste, because that maxim is neglected. The most 
popular and voluminous commentator on the Scrip- 
tures in our day, wrote all his commentaries before 
the usual hour of breakfast.* Edward Gibbon com- 
posed his ponderous pages between seven in the 
morning and the same hour at night, and arrange- 
ments so orderly tend to double life. 

And mark in how many ways this maxim may be 
applied. 

Have you some poor dependent to aid ? Then make 
haste. You have not a minute to spare. 

Have you to explain some error or some hasty ex- 
pression by which you have given pain ? Then the 
sooner the better both for yourself and others. You 
have not a minute to spare. 

Would you make some widow's heart glad, or im- 
part happiness to some orphan ? Then do not delay. 
If you spare a minute, it is at the cost of a sufferer's 
sorrow. 

If you are still without God and without hope, 
*Hev. A. Barnes. 



MAXIMS FOR HOME. 



397 



should you not make haste ? Have you a minute to 
spare 'i 

If jour friend, or brother, or child, be still ignorant 
of God's truth, should you not spare many a minute 
from minor objects to cry to God on his behalf? And 
so of a thousand other things. The maxim is a cathol- 
icon applicable to every case and at all times. 

III. Remember the Power of Littles. — A star 
seems a little thing, yet it is perhaps a world. A 
word — how quickly spoken— how soon forgotten ! Yet 
there may be life or death eternal in it. A blow of 
the hand — how like a flash it may be, yet may it lead 
to ignominy, to exile, or even a scaffold. Closes was 
little when he lay in his ark of bulrushes, yet he lived 
to be the plague of a king, and the means of deliver- 
ing some millions of slaves. Xapoleon Bonaparte 
was once little, yet what an Apollyon he became at 
last ! There is, in truth, nothing little which can be 
connected with eternity and God. The decision of an 
hour may influence us forever — 

" The summer breeze that fans the rose, 
Or eddies down some flowery path. 
Is but the infant gale that blows 

To-morrow with the whirlwind's wrath;" 

and though he was wise who said concerning man, 
" a little sheet will wind him, a little grave will hold 
him, a little worm will eat him,'' he was not less wise 
who wrote, " It is but the littleness of man that sees 
no greatness in a trifle." Life is made up of little in- 
cidents, not of brilliant achievements, and upon the 
little the eternal hangs. 

But all that need be said upon this maxim might 



398 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



be summed up in the lines whose truth apologizes for 
their quaintness — 

"Little drops of water, little grains of sand, 
Make the boundless ocean and the beauteous land; 
And the little moments, humble though they be, 
Make the mighty ages of eternity. 
Little deeds of kindness, little words of loye, 
Make the earth an Eden, like the heaven aboye ; 
Little deeds of mercy done by infant hands, 
Grow to bless the nations far off in heathen lands." 

Or farther : philanthropy has seized on this maxim, 
and employed it to improve and elevate mankind, 
whose happiness rarely depends on the great or the 
glaring. "The accumulation of your littles," it has 
been said to the people, " will form into a mightier 
sum than all the united gifts that the rich have yet 
thrown into the treasury. What ! do you not know 
that a penny a-week from each householder in Britain 
amounts to half-a-million of pounds sterling in the 
year . . Now this is turning arithmetic into mor- 
ality : it is godlike, for it achieves grand results by lit- 
tle agencies, and, as the Almighty bounds the ocean 
by sand-grains, or fills it by drops, when man learns to 
imitate Him, he has caught the inspiration of that 
wisdom which comes from above; he is a fellow- 
worker with the Mighty One, who is glorified alike by 
the microscope and the telescope. f 

* Hanna's Life of Chalmers, yol. i. p. 267. 

f Samuel Budgett, of Bristol, thoroughly understood the power of lit- 
tles. He once saw a potato at his foot, and asked an aged workwoman to 
lift it, plant it. and preserve the produce from year to year, promising to 
find her ground on which to conduct the experiment. In two or three 
years she had a sackful, and, had he lived, the ground required would 
soon have been acres. 



MAXDIS FOR HCQIE. 



399 



The applications of this maxim are manifold. 

There is a little child at prayer. The great God is 
teaching him, and it is therefore the prayer of faith. 
It is consequently heard and answered. The cry was 
for a new heart. A new heart is given, and now im- 
mortal life begins. 

Again : there is a youth perpetrating a sin. It is 
deemed little, but it is not ; it is familiarizing him to 
transgress. He pilfers — he steals — he robs ; and the 
first dishonest deed was the letting out of water. 
Fools made a mock at it ; affection excused it ; but 
that little thing ruined a soul — as one sin, which is 
often turned into mirth as a trifle, transformed our 
world into one vast graveyard, and all its people into 
one vast funeral procession. 

IY. I will tey, is another maxim which should be 
often current in our homes. The word impossible 
should be blotted from the believer's language, in 
regard to all that God has made duty, and " I will 
try," should be used in its stead. "Were the trial 
made in faith, it would assuredly succeed. 

I will try to do all the good I can. 

I will try never to give offence. 

I will try to do all in the name of the Lord Jesus. 

I will try to walk humbly with my God. 

I will try to rule my home in God's fear. 

I will try to conquer myself — a greater triumph 
than to take a city. 

I will try to live under the power of Christ's love. 

I will try to guide my children all to him. 

I will try not to imitate those whose religion is left 
in their Bibles, and who never plant it in the heart 



400 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



that it may guide the life. Nay, I will shun as poison 
the maxim of those who keep religion and business 
apart, as if the one were not the regulator of the other. 
But why enumerate more ? To every jot of a be- 
liever's duty this maxim may apply ; and when we 
take hold of the proffered Omnipotence, our success 
in such efforts is made sure. In one of the Southern 
states of North America, there lately lived a negro, a 
slave, who was anxious to learn to read — and he tried. 
He was an artisan, and prevailed upon his owmer's 
children to write the letters of the alphabet on the 
door of his workshop. After learning them, he pro- 
ceeded to form them into words, and could read. He 
then advanced to the study of Latin and Greek, and 
was prevented from learning Hebrew, only because he 
could not procure the needful books. Now, at every 
stage that resolute man was acting upon the maxim, 
" I will try." He both tried and succeeded ; and 
though the words happily grate harshly on a Briton's 
ear, that man was at last purchased from his owner, 
and sent as a missionary to Africa, to try to win his 
dark-souled countrymen to Christ. 

But examples of the power of this maxim appear 
in every sphere. The Abbate Mezzofante tried to 
study languages, and he mastered nearly thirty. 
Professor Lee, of Cambridge, w r as once a carpenter, 
but amid many difficulties, he also tried, and at the age 
of little more than thirty he could speak in seventeen 
tongues. Now w r ere parents as resolutely to try to 
cultivate right habits in their homes, they would 
smile to see fancied difficulties melting away. Child- 
hood is the stage for inculcating such habits, as the 



MAXIMS FOE HOME. 



401 



soft state of the clay is the stage at which the vessel 
must be moulded by the potter. Let the moral pot- 
ter try, then, and the result may be vessels meet for 
the Master's use. Eight habits are thoughts or max- 
ims embodied in acts ; and a wise parent will never 
think that his lessons are effectual till such actions 
appear. 

V. Another maxim may be this : Never be idle. — 
True, we must have relaxation. The young especially 
demand it, and no wise parent will withhold what the 
religion of love so beautifully inculcates. But while 
home is made a place of buoyant joy, that end will 
be best promoted by wisely alternating activity and 
repose. And the highest Model of all good is pecu- 
liarly our model in regard to activity. Follow the 
Saviour through all his wanderings — in the desert 
place or in the crowded city, on the mountain-side or 
by the margin of the lakes which his presence has 
consecrated, by day or by night, in the garden, or on 
the very Cross, and he was ever working his Father's 
work : he rested just to be more fit for exertion : he 
slept, but when he awoke it was to hush a tempest ; 
and the believer in Jesus will try to imitate his ex- 
ample. 

Or do we seek rather a merely human model? 
Then we are told of one who " seemed born under a 
decree to do" that " doing, doing, ever doing, he 
seemed to abhor idleness more than the Nature of the 
old philosophy abhorred a vacuum." It was irksome 
to that man to spend an idle hour. He accordingly 
did the work of several men, and his home, guided 
by such a father, appears to have been one of the 



402 



LAWS AXD MAXIXS OF HOME. 



most happy of all the Homes of England. A busy 
family is most likely to be a happy one, for idleness 
proverbially leaves us at the mercy of the tempter.* 
VI. Another maxim for Home is. Be happy, and 
iiAKE happy. Xow, happiness does not depend on 
some great or striking event, but rather upon things 
which seem small and insignificant, as rain drops from 
the shower, and at length the flood. A kind deed, 
kindly done, a kind word kindly spoken, nay. a smile 
or a look, may be all that is needed, and a thing so 
trivial may spread a radiant sunshine through a Home. 
All the year may be made a summer by such simple 
means. 

And how countless the sources of home happiness 
if the "Word of God be the guide ! Are there poor 
at hand \ A single loaf would make both them and 
us happy. Are there the ignorant to teach \ A Bible 
or a book would shed light. Are the sorrowing 
near ( Then point them to the Man of Sorrows, or 
tell of the Spirit, the Comforter. Like seed-corn, our 
happiness is increased by being thus diffused. Like 
the light, it should spread ; like heat, it should radi- 
ate ; and amid many sorrows, that abode is a happy 
one where the members aim at such results. 

But the world deems such things the cause of sor- 
row or of bondage, not of happiness — how falsely, the 
believer need not be told. It was the resolution of 
President Edwards never to say aught upon the Sab- 
bath that would provoke a laugh: aud the world 
would deem that a Sabbatarian fanaticism. Yet the 

* More than one man is known who acquired several languages dur- 
ing the time so commonly lost, or worse, in waiting for dinner. 



MAXIMS FOR HOME. 



403 



Home of Edwards was one of the most blessed ever 
seen on earth. ; there went forth from it soul after soul 
prepared through grace to work the work of God ; 
and it is thus that the happiness of Home will spread 
when it is the happiness of the children of God. 

VII. Attend to " minor morals." — By their Pe- 
tite Morale, the French mean politeness, and that has 
its place in a Christian Home. The cordial desire to 
please, a sensitive shrinking from whatever would 
hurt or offend, and similar things, tend to sweeten all 
the intercourse of life. Parents should attend to 
them with care, as the inlets of much home-happiness, 
and where they are neglected, the Saviour's truth 
has not free course in a household. If politeness be 
" morality in little things," and if life be commonly 
made up of such things, no more is needed to show 
how much our happiness depends upon them — the 
kindliest, purest nature will cultivate this habit with 
greatest care, and the Word of God contains the prin- 
ciple which should guide us here as in all besides — 
it teaches " each to esteem others better than him- 
self."* 

VHI. One maxim more must suffice. Never say 
wte must do as others do. That maxim has brought 
myriads to misery ; and parents should dare to be 
singular, if they would be Christian, or have Chris- 
tian homes. The dead soul is swept down by the 
world's current, but the living stems it, and rejoices. 
Doing as others do in dress, in entertainments, in ex- 
penditure, or in pleasure, just perpetuates the reign 
of folly ; and parents who would flee from ruin, and 

* Read an interesting little book, •• Things to be Thought of." 



4:04 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



make home truly happy, must resolutely turn such 
things from their door. Perhaps more of the moral 
health of Home depends upon this one maxim — Dare 
to he singular, if to he singular mean to he Christian 
— than any other that could be named. Paul knew 
it, and he practised it. The tongue of slander might 
revile, and those who neglected their own character 
might be busy with his ; but to him, or to any like- 
minded man, that is a light matter. He appealed 
from man to God, and then left all over till the judg- 
ment day. 

Whatever it may cost, then, God and not man must 
give law in our abodes, if we wish them to be blessed. 
If we evade His "Word under any pretext, or if we be 
scared by the unscriptural opinion of others, we are 
not following the Lord fully. What is it to any man 
who fears God, how much he may be censured, if the 
censure be unchristian ? To his faith the believer 
should add courage to meet all such things ; and thus 
ruling his Home in the fear of God, and not of man, 
the peace of God would circulate there. That man's 
Home would become his castle indeed. 



LEAVING HOME. 



405 



CHAPTEE XX. 

LEAVING HOME. 

Emigration — Waywardness — The Love of Enterprise — Mungo Park — Large Cities-* 
Their Perils — The Duty of Parents — Deserters from Home — Examples — Samuel 
Nugent Legh [Richmond — James Nisbet — A Sailor. 

In an age like ours, when emigration is so rife, and 
when the ties to Home are often severed by necessity, 
or the strong current of custom, the time of leaving 
home has acquired a deeper significance than it had 
in the days of our fathers. The abode of infancy is 
often left not merely for the nearest city, but for the 
uttermost ends of the earth. " Now look on life— be 
strong," becomes a counsel more and more needed 
from year to year, for some forsake their father's 
home only to beg their way to the grave ; others to 
plunge neck-deep into temptation; and only a few 
to find elsewhere what home might have richly sup- 
plied — namely, happiness and God. 

Amid all perils, however, it is a part of the very 
constitution of home, that the young shall there be 
prepared for leaving it. They must be taught to look 
abroad over the world, and wisely select a sphere 
where a father's counsels may be obeyed, and a 
mother's prayers answered in the blessings of Heav- 
en ; where the spells of home may all life long be 
felt while the heart throbs, rather than the lips utter, 
the ineffaceable impressions left upon youth by the 



406 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



doctrine, the reproof, the correction, and instruction 
in righteousness imparted under the roof now left 
perhaps forever. 

The selected home may be in the heathy Hebrides, 
or in sunny India. It may be among icebergs in 
Greenland, or in the fertile plains of England. It 
may be along the deadly coasts of Africa, or in some 
of our own densely peopled cities. It may be amid 
the privations of missionary life, or the perils of a 
soldier's campaigning ; but all, or nearly all, must 
sooner or later contemplate such a separation, or 
" second weaning." The half of our education con- 
sists in preparing us for that event ; and few can look 
back to the day when the door of home was closed be- 
hind them as they launched into life, without remem- 
bering the deep and mingled feelings of the hour. 
Some have then felt as if they were wandering into 
some dense and tangled forest ; others as if plunging 
into a dark abyss ; and crowds have wept as they 
thought of the coldness they must thenceforth en- 
counter. 

And many things may tend to precipitate such a 
separation. The restraints of home are irksome, and 
it is abandoned for some more congenial sphere. The 
parental eye is too watchful for the waywardness of 
youth, to allow it to be easy under such supervision, 
and home is forsaken, that such restraint may be cast 
off. Or the love of enterprise stimulates. Mungo 
Park, leaving his cottage home on the banks of the 
Yarrow, and hastening away to the land of the Great 
Zahara, its horrors and its mysteries, represents this 
class. A stirring soul and an observant eye urge 



LEAVING HOME. 



407 



them to seek adventures, and when well-directed, 
such undomestic spirits have helped to widen the 
knowledge of mankind. The consecrated enterprise 
of Moffat, of Livingstone, and Barth, has pioneered 
the way for civilization and commerce — God's truth 
being at once their motive-power and their guide. 

Leaving home, however, is in thousands of cases, an 
occasion of solemn moral peril, and many may then 
recall with tears the words which tell of a mother's 
care — 

" She cannot now be at thy side, 
Thy tears to dry. thy feet to guide ; 
Her voice no more can counsel thee 
Against the false world's flattery." 

London annually absorbs thousands of youth from 
our rural districts, and other towns their proportion. 
Now amid such an influx of the inexperienced and 
the ignorant, how many are annually ingulfed ? How 
many homes are hung in sackcloth, how many hopes 
blighted, how many hearts half-broken ? The moral 
wear and tear can be computed only in eternity ; but 
consciences seared, prospects blasted, guilt contracted, 
premature deaths — all tell us somewhat of the dan- 
gers of leaving home. Youth soon learns to perpe- 
trate without compunction, or utter without a blush, 
what would once have made the cheek turn pale, and 
from such attainments the downward career is as 
speedy as it can easily be predicted. 

Yet even amid such scenes, the grace of God and 
the staunch principle of a Christian, can keep the 
young erect. They will neither lie for gain, nor mar 
a parent's peace to please a godless companion, nor 



408 



LAWS AXD MAXIMS OF HOME. 



sell their souls for the profit of any idolater of gold. 
They may continue poor, but they will not be dis- 
reputable ; they hold fast their integrity, and will not 
let it go, and these are the truly free — they refuse to 
be enslaved. Like Joseph, they remember that God's 
eye is on them. They stand in awe, and will not 
transgress, and like Joseph also, they may be exalted 
in due season. But on the other hand, where con- 
science is torpid and cupidity stirring, many sell 
themselves for what cannot profit. We do not speak 
here of the midnight revel, or of scenes where the in- 
experienced are allured to dissipation, to theft and 
felony, to forgery and expatriation, but only of the 
temptations to which youth is exposed in the marts 
of business. Regarding these, we need not scruple 
to aver that the day when such perils are first en- 
countered is the date of the ruin of many. Unholy 
companions by their taunts, and gain-loving masters 
by their requirements, all help to render the incline 
toward ruin more easy or inviting, and yet so steep 
and sure that return is impossible. 

jSTow, if parents be as sensitively alive to the value 
of their children's souls as the Bible teaches them to 
be, it will become a solemn question how far the 
young, with principles unformed or not established, 
should be exposed to such perils, except at the bid- 
ding of imperative necessity. If God open the way, 
and lead into it, He will guard us there. But if 
parents, for mere gain, precipitate their children into 
such snares, need they complain if they see their sons 
returning in disgrace, or only to hide their shame in 
a grave ? A hard, griping employer, a gilded pre- 



LEAVING HO^vIE. 



409 



tender to religion, and a really devout man — how 
different their influence upon the young ! And who 
does not see how eternity and all its issues hang on 
the selection which a parent makes, when his son first 
enters upon life — first plunges into the vortex where 
multitudes sink to rise no more? Can he be inno- 
cent, even though his son should escape, when it was 
gain not godliness, a provision for time, and ho view 
to eternity, which decided his choice? ^ay. surely 
he is preparing sorrow for his own heart and home, 
who does not make the temptations which will assail 
his boy in the workshop, at the desk, or amid his re- 
laxations, a subject for solemn watchfulness and fore- 
thought. When the breath of the world begins to 
sully the flowers which bloomed at home, affection 
should often grasp the horns of the altar. 

But there is another view of leaving home. Some 
desert it. They cannot bear its piety, and a secret 
flight is the result ; or passion is becoming the tyrant 
of the soul — or a crime has been committed — or pa- 
rental training is unwise, because it is unscriptural — 
and for these, and similar causes, the ties which bind 
youth to Home are snapt. The sea. or some foreign 
land, takes the place of the parental roof ; and while 
such a deserter troubles his Home, his own sorrows 
are multiplied. 

2>"ow. this might have been ranked among the 
sorest trials of home. The agony of suspense which 
such conduct has occasioned to parents — the suffer- 
ings, the shame, and the early death to which it has 
led in the 'case of many a wanderer — might all be bea- 
cons. But youth, in its wild ignorance, despises the 

18 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



warnings of age, and often discovers the depth of its 
error only in the wards of some hospital, whither it 
has been carried to die, or in the cells of some prison 
to which crime, committed in some desperate hour, 
has brought it. To some such souls, the retrospect 
of home occasions a pang when all its happiness is 
recalled ; while to others, home must appear as the 
fountain of their woe. The father, perhaps, led the 
way in sliamelessness and sin. 2\o prayer was ever 
uttered there ; no offices of kindness circulated from 
heart to heart ; no prudent counsels ; no pointing to 
Heaven ; no mutual plans for mutual happiness ; 
never once was a family altar seen, or a family gath- 
ering for any purpose but worldliness witnessed ; and 
to glance back at such a home can exert no reclaiming 
influence on any wayward youth. But all this pro- 
claims the mighty power for evil which the home or 
the family exerts when it is ruled by other maxims 
than those which God has appointed. 

Xo doubt there are some compensations in the case 
of a few who ha ve deserted, home, and risen to worldly 
honor. Sir Cloudesley Shovel, one of our distinguish- 
ed naval commanders, who fled from his home while 
an apprentice boy. as well as others, might be cited 
as examples. But even such successful deserters have 
reached their position through dangers and snares un- 
counted. They have become apostates : they have for 
a time been starvelings. While a father or a mother 
was weeping over their desertion, they have been 
reaping as they had sowed, while thousands have 
gone down to the grave ignoble and unknown, filled 
only with the fruits of their own devices. 



LEAVING HOME. 



411 



EXAMPLES. 

Samuel Nngent Legh was the eldest son of the 
Rev. Legh Richmond, and it was the earnest wish of 
his fathers heart that he should be trained for the 
Christian ministry. The early stages of his education 
pointed in that direction. The father kept him much 
under his own eye, and guarded him with scrupulous 
care from all that was likely to contaminate. But 
when removed at length from that guardianship, 
young Richmond formed a friendship which ended 
in his moral ruin, and it soon became necessary to 
remove the deluded youth from his father's home, 
where his example was likely to spread a moral in- 
fection. He was placed on board a merchant vessel, 
and, as a wanderer in the wide world, he had to make 
his own way amid the bufferings of life. 

Xow, few cases of leaving home ever were attended 
with deeper grief than this. Disappointed hopes on 
the part of the father, and wounded hearts alike to 
father and mother, ensued. The wages of sin fell to 
the lot of more than the transgressor : all who were 
linked to him by love shared in the woe — and the case 
is another illustration of the truth, that a single sinner 
destroys much good. With a Bible, and the coun- 
sels of an affectionate and weeping father, that youth 
left a happy home forever. .Its lessons he had been 
tempted to trample on : its prayers were unheeded by 
him : its affection had no controlling or curbing pow- 
er on the heart which sin had fascinated or enslaved ; 
and, as the leper was separated from the society of 
men, this misguided youth was separated from his 



412 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



father's house, because of the moral taint which his 
presence was producing there. 

Yet he did not forget that home. JSTay, he came to 
himself at last, and wrote confessing at once his sin 
and his foil y . Tossing to and fro upon the deep — ship- 
wrecked again and again — in danger from pirates — 
assailed more than once, and on the eve of being 
murdered — sick, lonely, conscience-stricken, and for- 
lorn — that wanderer roamed from land to land, from 
year to year, and, as often as he wrote to his parents, 
he had to confess and deplore his sins. " I often re- 
flect on my past conduct," he said, " and bitterly be- 
wail my folly. If I had not done what I ought not 
to have done, I might now be resting comfortably 
under your roof, instead of having to bear very great 
hardships by night and by day ; but I will not com- 
plain of my chastisements : I have indeed far greater 
comforts than I deserve . . . Oh, how I look back on 
the hopes and fears, the alarms and anxieties of my 
dear parents ! If God permits me ever to see them 
again, I hope it will be under different circumstances 
and feelings." It was thus that wanderer wrote in 
letter after letter. His bitter regrets and the discom- 
forts of his new position were alike apparent — the 
wages of sin had been won, and they were paid. 

Though young Richmond's waywardness was not 
speedily subdued, it soon became manifest that the 
truth had some power over th^ wanderer's mind. 
Amid his tossings to and fro, he did all the good he 
could in preventing evil and promoting what is right. 
He carried Bibles and tracts from harbor to harbor, 
and spread them wherever he found opportunity. He 



LEAVING HOME. 



413 



wrote to Britain for missionaries — and though, by his 
misconduct abroad he was cast upon the world at the 
age of seventeen, without means of livelihood, without 
friends, or even an acquaintance, God saw him while 
yet a great way off; he was " alone, wandering, but 
not lost," even amid the tempests which he had to 
brave ; and there is ample reason for believing that 
the lessons which his mother taught, or the prayers 
which his father offered on his behalf, were not un- 
noticed by the Stay of the destitute. After several 
years of wandering, the youth was returning to his 
home ; but he died at sea, worn down by toil and dis- 
ease, and his body found a resting-place — if that be 
not a misnomer — in the depths of the ocean. Too 
late at least for his earthly happiness, he had become 
"true to the kindred points of Home and Heaven. 5 ' 
And is not this case another beacon ? While it may 
encourage parents to pray and not faint, it might 
warn the young that there is nothing before them but 
sorrow, when God's truth and home affections are out- 
raged. 

Again : on a cold and wintry day in the year 1803, 
a youth left his native town of Kelso to find his way 
to the great metropolis of Britain and the world. It 
was with a heavy heart that he set out from home, 
and on one of the bridges which connect Scotland 
with England, he stood and wept till the tear had 
nearly frozen on his cheek. On his eighteenth birth- 
day he found himself in London, and scarcely had he 
reached it when a companion attempted to lead him 
into the paths of the Destroyer. But with the firm- 
ness of true principle, he repelled the temptation, and 



414 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



left the youth, whom he had known a short time be- 
fore in his native place, walking as the virtuous do, 
to hurry along the road which leads to death. That 
misguided one would not be warned by his friend, 
and the dupe of his own heart must reap as he chose 
to sow. 

The young friend whom he had thus tried to entice 
into the cockatrice's den — -James Nisbet, afterward 
the well-known publisher — hurried away from that 
dark scene, and the remembrance of that night helped, 
as an anchor, to keep him immovable through life. 
While dissipation led to the early death of the one, 
his example was like a beacon above a rock to the 
other. It stimulated him to decision. That fostered 
and fortified his early piety ; and sad as had been his 
setting out from home, or painful his adventure with 
his dissolute friend, young Nisbet soon became 
marked for consistency and force of principle. " He 
loved the habitation of God's house," and the bless- 
ings which he experienced there led him in future 
years, when principle was crowned with the blessing 
of God, to expend large sums of money in building 
churches both in Scotland and in England. In truth, 
the lad who had wept such bitter tears when leaving 
the home of his childhood, lived to wield an exten- 
sive influence for good, in this and many other lands. 
Missionaries from every shore found an asylum or a 
welcome in his hospitable abode. His systematic 
order, his zeal, his activity, his ardor, his large liber- 
ality, his devoutness, his hearty joyous nature, placed 
him in the front ranks of the Christian men of busi- 
ness, the real philanthropists who at once adorn and 



LKAVING HOME. 



415 



bless the metropolis. And he died as he had lived, 
in the act of laboring to do good ; he went down to 
the grave honored by all good men, and wept by not 
a few with very genuine tears. " His early outset 
and his long career" in godliness blessed both himself 
and hundreds besides. 

Now, if young Richmond was a beacon, here is a 
model. The example of James Xisbet is one which 
might encourage all who are not already blinded by 
sin, or so far its dupe as to expect happiness for the 
soul in what entailed misery and a curse at once upon 
a globe and a race. 

AVe might add many examples to the same effect. 
Among the Mohammedans at Tangiers, a missionary 
once found a dying lad, the son of godly Scottish 
parents, who had left his home, slighting, as he con- 
fessed, all that they had done to guide him to the Sav- 
iour. But after a career of folly and of trial, when 
death and his sins found him out together, he felt the 
full misery of having fled from a holy home. He 
supposed that mercy there could be none for one so 
reckless. His sins, his companions, his pleasures 
were all unavailing now ; and. if he was saved during 
his last breaths, when he cried vehemently for mercy, 
it was so as by fire." He is another beacon, even 
though he be a brand plucked from the burning. 



416 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



CHAPTEE XXL 

HEAVEN A HOME. 

Heirs of the Promises— " Our Father 1 — The House of Many Mansions— The Elder 
Brother— The Son— The Spirit of Adoption— The Great Family — A Mother's 
Power — A Family in Heaven — The Mother — The Father — The Children — 
Conclusion. 

In the Word of G-od we are encouraged to be u fol- 
lowers of them who through faith and patience are 
now inheriting the promises." Death makes sad 
ravages in our homes : he drags the objects of our 
affection from our embrace, and leaves us little but 
a mournful memory of what we once enjoyed, in con- 
trast with our present forlorn or widowed condition. 
But while we are thus bereaved, our God comes in 
His Word, and if we have hope concerning the de- 
parted, He bids us prepare to follow them. The tie 
transferred from earth to heaven is employed to draw 
us upward — the human unites with the divine to fix 
our affections upon the things which are above — to 
give reality to the unseen, or nearness to the distant. 

And, in the same way, to invest heaven with addi- 
tional charms, it is associated with all that is vener- 
able, or tender, or dear in a home. Heaven is, in 

truth, our home — earth is our house of bondage : 
j & 

there we are at rest — here we are strangers and pil- 
grims ; and God only wise has thus linked our deepest 
sympathies with the heritage of the righteous for- 
ever. 



HEAVEN A HOME. 



417 



For example, the first clause of Scripture which 
nearly all are taught to lisp is, " Our Father, who art 
in heaven ;" and the little child or the hoary pilgrim 
is thus trained to associate the venerable name of 
Father with that of God, till heaven becomes our 
better home. The fondest endearments of earth are 
employed to make the eternal world more intelligible, 
more palpable and powerful. That wondrous prayer 
fosters the right Christian spirit. It is Catholic, for 
it says "Our." It is reverential, for it says, " Hal- 
lowed be Thy name." It is missionary, for it says, 
" Thy kingdom come." It is moral, for it adds, 
"Thy will be done." It inculcates dependence, say- 
ing, " Give us this day our daily bread." It teaches 
forgiveness and caution : it leaves us reposing in 
humble confidence upon God — but the basis of the 
whole is the filial. It relates to the Family Head, 
and makes our God " our Father/' 

But this is not all ; it is only the beginning. Christ 
speaks on this subject, and says, " My God and your 
God, my Father and your Father." It is through the 
First-born of many brethren that we are guided to 
our heavenly Father. The Elder Brother takes us by 
the hand, and makes us joint heirs with himself; so 
that in life and at death, a home and a heritage are 
ever our associations with heaven, if Christ be indeed 
our Elder Brother. All that is connected in the 
mind of a seaman with the harbor of his home, or all 
that is constraining in the mind of a dutiful son, in 
connection with a distant but much-loved parent, is 
enlisted to inweave our affections with hereafter. 

Or more explicit still : the Saviour points us to his 

18* 



418 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



Father's house as one " of many mansions." In that 
home of glory there is room enough and to spare ; 
and if we be tempted to fear that we may be excluded, 
the Saviour assures the sons and daughters of the 
Lord Almighty that he is able to save to the utter- 
most. As to some ample abode, where blessedness 
reigns unbroken forever, he points us to his heavenly 
home — a Father's — he bids us look along " the golden 
vistas into heaven," and be so attracted by its glory 
as to make sure of arriving there at last — a child of 
God, a joint heir with Christ, 

Besides, the Saviour was a son, " the Son of God." 
In glory this is, as in shame it was, a name of the 
Redeemer ; and by such a title we are drawn again 
toward our heavenly abode, by one of the strongest 
ties that can link one being to another. As the Son 
of God the Saviour is Divine, as the Son of man he 
is human; and thus as God our Saviour, he raises us 
above the powers even of earth and of sin. Xow, all 
this makes heaven more attractive ; we can rejoice in 
it more hopefully, while we anticipate the heritage of 
the sons and daughters of a heavenly family. The 
charms of an earthly home all translated to glory, 
may thus at once gladden and hallow. 

Nor should we fail to notice that the Spirit of grace 
is also the Spirit of adoption. He makes us new 
creatures in Christ, and in doing so, awakens feelings 
in our souls toward the Eternal, similar to those 
which we cherish to an earthly parent. Father, Son, 
and Spirit are thus glorified, while the children of a 
day are raised forever to the rank of " sons and 
daughters of the Lord Almighty." 



HEAVEN A HOME. 



419 



But we read farther, that "the whole family in 
heaven and on earth is named after Christ." The Re- 
deemed form one vast household where the God of all 
the families of the earth dispenses the joys which 
were purchased by the self-sacrifice of the Elder 
Brother. Pilgrims and strangers there become fel- 
low-citizens with the saints and of the houshold of 
God ; and though we can ill understand the words, 
amid the corruptions of earth, we know that nothing 
that defileth can enter that abode, 

"I long to be able," said a gifted man, "to make 
heaven and eternity the home of my thoughts, to 
which, though they must often wander abroad on 
other concerns, they may regularly return and find 
their best entertainment." To make such longing 
common, heaven is invested with all that is tender 
and attractive, or august and venerable ; and when 
all this is borne in mind, we may well reiterate the 
question — " What could have been done to My vine- 
yard that I have not done in it ?" What more close 
or endearing charm could have been employed to 
elevate our thoughts from earth to heaven? We 
must find something more than infinite ere we can 
discover a wisdom more profound or more compre- 
hensive than this ; and when thus presented by our 
heavenly Father, our future state should enchain our 
thoughts : we may well long for it like the exile for 
his native land, or the seaman driven of the winds 
and tost, for the haven of his home. 

And this is sometimes realized in the case of the 
dying. A gifted Italian lady, who had embraced the 
religion of the Bible, exclaimed with all but her last 



420 



LAWS AKD MAXIMS OF HOME. 



breath, " The chamber seems full of sweet flowers and 
odors." A gifted German in the act of dying, and in 
answer to a question how he felt, replied, " Some 
things are growing clearer." And the last words of 
another, after a struggle of intensest agony, were, 
" Now it begins to look lovely." It is thus that the 
bright beatitudes of eternity are sometimes antici- 
pated, When we are taught by the Spirit of God to 
run the eye along the horizon-line which divides this 
world from the next, and descry the summits of the 
holy mountain, or the towers of the New Jerusalem, 
we can then catch glimpses of our sinless, griefless 
home. 

And with such glimpses of our heavenly abode, 
our remarks upon Home, its laws, its joys, and its 
sorrows, are near a close. To that house not made 
with hands, in the city of our God, the ransomed 
family is slowly gathering home. We cry out, in- 
deed, against our " deaths oft," our crushing woes, 
our wasting diseases. But are they not all the serv- 
ants of our Father, calling us to a dwelling-place on 
high ? This is the nursery in which we are reared ; 
Heaven is the home which w T e are to inhabit ; the 
heritage which we are to enjoy. Here we are minors ; 
our majority approaches — and they are blessed who 
are already home, the journey over, the perils past, 
" the fever and the fret" of this embryo life forever at 
an end. 

It sometimes happens that whole families are trans- 
planted thither. After wandering for a time and try- 
ing to find rest in some other way than that which 
leads to the New Jerusalem, soul after soul has been 



HEAVEN A HOME. 



421 



led into the narrow path ; and a closing example of 
that class, may be blessed to encourage some by the 
way. 

A family consisted of a father, a mother, and four 
daughters, and for a time the god of this world was 
served in that abode— of ail the six, the mother alone 
professed to be a follower of the Son of God. She, 
however, became steadfast and immovable. Disease 
was first commissioned to do God's work on one of 
the daughters. It menaced her life, but she was deaf 
to the w amino;, and wept at the cruelty of those who 
enforced it. The disease, however, was inexorable, 
She was at last compelled to face death ; and amid 
strong efforts to grasp the world a little and a little 
longer, she was induced by a merciful severity, to 
turn her thoughts toward the better country. She 
sought it in a right way — by the Cross — and the 
record of her experience tells that " her death was 
joyful and triumphant," 

The father's turn came next. He had long been 
a decent worldling, who deemed anxiety about the 
soul superfluous : he would have shrunk from avow- 
ing infidelity, yet was he at heart an unbeliever. 
But his daughter's death unlocked the prison of his 
soul. He also turned his thoughts to a heavenly 
dwelling-place, and was believed to have found peace 
in the path which leads us thither — that is, in Jesus, 
" the way." 

Another daughter next passed from death to life. 
One by one the household were knit to the Saviour ; 
and the blessed spectacle of a whole family, thus 
transplanted to glory, encourages, while it points us 



422 



LAWS AND MAXIMS OF HOME. 



homeward. It was the mother's prayers, and watch- 
ings, and lessons, which led to that result. JShe could 
cherish the hope that her family were all gathered 
home before her to that abode whence we " go no 
more out" forever ; and it were indeed a blessed 
thing were parents more prayerfully bent upon seeing 
their household thus savingly brought to Christ. 
Why should there be delay, as if this were not the 
accepted time ? Oh, why such supineness on a subject 
so momentous, while we often have but a vague per- 
adventure, if even that, regarding the souls of our 
households ( Surely if we felt, in such a case, as we 
ought to do, the throne would be besieged for Chris- 
tian homes, for converted children, for godly domes- 
tics, and for families so Christianized that they would 
prove the glory and the strength of the land. Par- 
ents, realize your position : make these things the 
burden of your morning and your evening prayer : let 
the glory of God, let the love of Christ, let the happi- 
ness of your children, all constrain to this, and then 
take up the hymn, in a spirit more reverent and 
solemn than that of him who sang it first — 

" This world is all a fleeting show, 
For man's illusion given, 
The smiles of joy, the tears of woe 
Deceitful shine, deceitful flow — 
There's nothing true but heaven. 

" And false the light on glory's plume, 
As fading hues of even. 
And love, and hope, and beauty's bloom, 
Are blossoms gathered for the tomb — 
There's nothing bright but heaven. 



HEAVEN A HOME. 



423 



" Poor wanderers of a stormy day, 
From wave to wave we're driven ; 
And fancy's flash and reason's ray 
Serve but to light the troubled way — 
There's nothing calm but heaven." 

And such are the crowning results designed to be 
produced by Home, with all its mighty moral power ; 
its endearments and authority : its examples and les- 
sons ; its goodness and severity ; its heavenly stand- 
ard, and its hallowed joys. Be such results promoted, 
and God is glorified, while man is safe ; but where 
that is not accomplished, the domestic constitution 
has not been used as God directs, and the abuse of 
the best things, in one case more, has turned them 
into the worst. That nation is on the way to the 
grave, where domestic ties are trampled on, and 
where the passions or the caprices of men preside 
instead of the will of God. Witness the Jews of old. 
Parents hold in their hands the happiness of home — 
and more than that, of their country — and more than 
that, of the eternal world. Let them understand their 
mission. Let them fulfil it ; and though only a sin- 
gle family in a land were thus guided by the will of 
God, it would appear beautiful in the eyes of heaven, 
as some brilliant object embalmed in amber, or a soli- 
tary star amid an else universal gloom. 




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HOME: 

A HELIH BOOK FOR THE FAMILY. 



BY THE 



REV. W. K. TWEEDIE, D. D., 



AUTHOR OF " SEED-TIME AND HARVEST ; OR, SOW 
WELL AXD REAP WELL," " LAMP TO THE 
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